Braxton Sucks: A Strange and Unusual Contest

**Updated With Winning Number, Below**

sick of belly pics, yet? because ELEVEN MORE TO GO!

I didn't have a single Braxton Hicks contraction with Archer. Not one. I had no idea what my doctor was talking about when he asked if I was feeling contractions. 

"Uh, I don't think I am," I'd say, which is hilarious because when you're having contractions YOU FUCKING KNOW, and even still, it's like this "pregnant chick thing" to make it seem like we know our bodies in superhuman supernatural ways and that everything is perfect and wonderful and if I'm supposed to be contracting, well then by GOLLY! I think I might just be!

Another example:

Doctor: How's the baby moving?

Patient: Oh MY GOSH, Doctor! She will NOT SIT STILL! All she does is move-move-move, kick-kick-kick. I can't believe how much she moves. Here, want to feel a kick? 

I'm not talking shit. I do the exact same thing. And I annoy myself to no end because of it. 

Moving on... For the last three weeks I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions HARDCORE and very often, which feel like super intense Charlie Horse(s?) in one's abdomen. Not awesome. Especially when they come frequently and with great force, oh, I dunno... every hour? At least?

So let's make lemonade, people! Let's turn my pain into your pleasure with a little contest. All you have to do is guess the following correctly: 

How many awesometastic! Braxton Hicks contractions will I have today*?

(Yes, I'm serious.)

I will be calculating from morning until midnight and the two readers who guess closest will win a super cute onesie, beanie, bootie set from my good friends at DVS Shoes (who I'm sure will be thrilled when they see that I decided on a "contraction-contest" for the giveaway we discussed. Don't be mad, Rita!)  

"in the skateboard tradition" boy's infant set 3-6 months

"shoe lover in the making" girl's infant set 3-6 months

FYI, the onesies say 3-6 months but they run huge and will fit your 6-12 monther easy peasy. The booties and the hat are closer to newborn sized. For more information about DVS and their radtastic products, go here

*I realize that this contest is totally weird and a little bit creepy but seriously? It was either "guess the contractions" or "pick a random number between 1 and 100" and how totally unoriginal is that? 


WINNERS UPDATE: And the winner is... 14! Far less than usual so perhaps I should have contractions-contests EVERY DAY! Congratulations, carabee, nes, justine and quirkygirl! Please email me with your addresses (and preference of girl/boy style onesie set) and I'll mail it on ovah! 


Also, let's talk baby showers for second babies... Are they tacky or fabulous


Anonymous | 3:38 AM


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx | 3:38 AM

Ok, I am going to guess 18, because even though there are 24 hours in a day, I'm not sure if you're waking up from the contractions (oh, wait, of COURSE you are) - anyway, 18 is my guess.

I think I've mentioned that I'm preggo, too -- so, for a second baby shower... I say no to tacky. I don't necessarily think that they are done the same as the first one, of course - but I see no reason why the first baby gets celebrated and the second one does not. I say that instead of expensive bouncy seats and baby baths, have a second shower that's mainly about celebrating the pregnancy, and maybe everyone chips in to get one or two things to fill in the gaps since the last kid. Or, you know - clothes if it's a different gender this time.

SciFi Dad | 4:47 AM

My wife is due the same week you are, I believe, and she has yet to have any braxton hicks (knock on wood) but she too is dealing with the non-stop punch/kick/roll.

My guess? 26

Anonymous | 5:11 AM

I'm guessing 16.

Baby Showers = Fabulous in their Tackiness

Anonymous | 5:18 AM

I'm going with 20 - a nice, round number.

tflem | 5:38 AM

I'm guessing 15.

CaraBee | 5:44 AM

I'll guess 14. 'Cause I'm optimistic like that. And my baby is the perfect size for that onesie. So keeping my fingers crossed.

Brandi | 5:44 AM

Braxton hicks suuuuck! I had them so bad with both pregnancies!
I'm guessing you'll have 37 today! Have fun ;o)

Emery Jo | 5:59 AM

Twenty Two.

Also- Are those maternity skinny jeans? If so- WHERE IN THE HECK DID YOU FIND THEM?? I have been looking for 3 months and have not been able to find a single pair of decent skinny maternity jeans.

You look amazing!!

Caitlin | 6:24 AM

11! And if I'm right, that will have to be baby's lucky number ;)

Anonymous | 6:24 AM

14! And if someone wants to give you a shower - go for it. You know the baby market so much better now, you might want different items. Plus, let the masses build your girl's wardrobe for you! The basics, at least, and then you can just concentrate on the special stuff.

designHER Momma | 6:40 AM

I want in....I'm gonna say.....12. hoping for a good day for you!

minniemama68 | 6:41 AM

I say 12.

I never had too many problems with BH, but Quinn got the hiccups once. Very wierd esp considering I had never had a child have them before. Almost like dancing with two three kick....I was worried he was convulsing and went to the doctor the next day. We both got a good laugh.

12 is my number

Sara | 6:41 AM

I'm going with 15! It just sounds like a winner. (That and two other people already said 14.)

Anonymous | 6:52 AM

Since I have no babies and don't know anyone who currently has one, please don't put me in the running.

But, I will guess 12. And second Baby Showers are not tacky. The people that care will just want to celebrate with you, those who don't will hopefully send a cool gift.

Leslie :) | 7:04 AM

This is my first baby and those Braxton Hicks suck big time. I'm due 3 weeks after you also! I'll wish a good day for you and say 9 today.

Anonymous | 7:25 AM

i'm gonna say 19. i have the same thing with no contractions (of any kind) with my first pregnancy, a few with #2 and hella b-h with this last one. btw - adorable dress.

Heather Tull | 7:31 AM

My guess is 21. Feel very very lucky that you've just starting contracting now, I started at oh 13 weeks and will most likely continue until baby's eviction notice.

Second baby showers are wonderful because baby #2 deserves to be celebrated just as much. Of course you won't be registering for things you already have and anyone who feels like they bought something big before and doesn't want to go big again has the option to just get clothes or a card.

Maria Melee | 7:31 AM

I'm gonna dream big with 30. Although I hope you don't have that many.

I've been having them every time I pee, which you know is like 7,000 times a day. At least. They suck balls. Also the Charlie Horse thing is happening.

Anonymous | 7:33 AM

I hope you don't have this many either but I'm going to say 42. I used to have them where my belly would just be rock hard for a few minutes. Good luck!

Amy | 7:36 AM

I'm guessing 16!

Diane | 7:49 AM

My guess is 15.

thekettrickfive | 7:50 AM

I'm going with 12. I'm waiting on the "real thing" with contractions - counting down the days here!

Trish | 8:02 AM

How about 17? There is about 16 hours til midnight so I'll add one in for good measure. Gosh, I hope you don't have that many.....good luck!

Trish | 8:04 AM

Wait, I didn't read the other comments.....someone already said 17. So I am going to go with my first instinct that I talked myself out of.........23.

Anonymous | 8:10 AM

I guess 10. Hopefully no more than that!

Anonymous | 8:12 AM

I'm going w/ 27...

Issa | 8:26 AM

I'm going to say 18 contractions and I'm so feeling bad for you. I'm at 32.5 weeks and haven't had one at all.

Love the onesie and cute.

And um lets say that a second baby shower is fab, because I hear I'm going to have one for the third. If the consensus is that a second is tacky than I'm scared to hear what a third one is.

Anonymous | 8:26 AM

Hmmm, I'll take 15.

that girl there | 8:27 AM

I want 20.

I had my entire comment typed up but it seems to have disappeared. I will see if you my duplicate guess and then if it is the same twice.

My mother had three baby showers through out her six births. There is always a need for a party.

Ashley | 8:37 AM


Ugh, go away, Mr. Hicks.

Anonymous | 8:42 AM

This is hilarious. I'm going to go with 22. I should have posted last night, all the other guesses are gone!

Anonymous | 8:44 AM

I'm going with 8. I don't wish any more on you than that!

Ashley | 8:45 AM

I'm going with 17! Hope I'm wrong and it is less!!

Anonymous | 8:45 AM

My guess is 18.

I hope the contractions give you a break soon, because that just sounds unfun.

Jaelithe | 8:49 AM

I cannot even participate in this. I had intense Braxton-Hicks contractions several times a day (and night) for the last MONTH that I was pregnant with my son, AND THEY SUCKED. All I can say is that I hope you have ZERO today. Which I know will not be true. But I'll hope it anyway.

Anonymous | 8:52 AM

My guess is 14. (Also my favorite I had to go with it!)

Anonymous | 8:54 AM

Okay, I am totally not wishing this much pain on you but for some reason I can not shake the number
26!! Yikes, I know 26 contractions in one day would totally suck--so for your sake I hope I am wrong but for my selfish baby swag coveting I hope I am right!!

Only 11 wks to go--stay strong!

Anonymous | 9:00 AM

You poor thing! At least you've found a way for us to benefit from your pain, haha. Should I be laughing at that?

Anyway, I'm guessing you'll have.... 12.

Sharon | 9:03 AM

I tried not to give the same answer..My guess is 25. So sorry about that!

I think 2nd baby showers are totally necessary! Especially since you are having a child that is a different sex than your first one! See.. you need completely new stuff! At least, just tell everyone that! haha! Have a good day, and I love your blog!

Dianna | 9:03 AM

Im guessing 7...sorry! That can't be fun at all.

Anonymous | 9:08 AM

I guess 17.

sara | 9:18 AM

42. :)

I don't think it's tacky - especially since you don't have a girl yet. I had 2 boys, so I thought that it would be inappropriate to have another shower. Plus, I am much like you in the beginning of your book - no friends, just living the married life with kids, so no one to have a shower for me. ;)

Anonymous | 9:26 AM

Has anyone taken 19? I had so many with my girl...I hope they subside. hang in there you look awesome!!


Holy cow, you guys!!! And FYI, if any one ties I'm just going to send all winners a prize. Rita hooked me up with a bunch of DVS sets so guess whatever you THINK! And no worries if your number has been taken.

I will say, though, so far I'm feeling great today. Only have had ONE! Of course, I haven't gone to gym yet which always sets them off for some reason...

Oh and Emery? Re: The Skinny Jeans. Yes! They're 7 for All Mankind and they were on sale at Pea in the Pod back in March for 70% off! I just looked for them everywhere and couldn't find them... They were called "Indianapolis" and they were leathery rocker-black.

I do find a few pairs of 7 skinnies, here but none on sale: ... These you could totally pull off:

These I have and they're crazy adorable and on sale:

Okay, I'm done. :)


pardon all typos above. oy.

Anonymous | 9:51 AM

19. Sounds like a good "round" number to me...

Anonymous | 9:52 AM

I should probably leave my email, huh? It's slackermama @

BigChunkySoul | 10:38 AM

6. I'm ever the optimist.

Anonymous | 10:59 AM

i'll go with five.

Anonymous | 11:04 AM

Since twenty is taken, I'll guess 24. I hope I loose. Your pain is not my onsie.


ZDub | 11:08 AM

I'm going to say 8.

You look great!

Anonymous | 11:25 AM

I'm gonna guess 5! Hopefully it won't be more than that!

Haley | 12:06 PM

I'm going big with the number 28. I don't think anyone has guessed it, at least not according to the handy dandy finder tool on my mac. Hopefully, though, you are not going to have 28 contractions today. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Not even the girl who drove me crazy all four years of high school and then pretended we were buddy buddy when I went to college.

So 28 is my guess.

Trysha | 12:20 PM

The number 24 was the first thing that popped in my head.

The worst is when you get one unexpectedly in a crowd and when it's a strong one that actually makes you flinch and bend over slightly. People start whipping out their cell phones to call an ambulance ASAP. It's awesome...and embarrassing.

Rikki | 12:41 PM

I am going with 9. You look fabu by the way. I was NEVER that cute as a preggo! :)

Corrin Marie | 12:43 PM

Hey! =] I love your blog! and my sister is ordering me your book as well! i cant wait to get it!

I'm going to say 21. I hope its not that many though! I've been getting them to and they do suck!!!

As for baby showers, I think its completely up to you on whether you feel up to having a second one or not! I've always heard that you only have a baby shower for your first child, but that doesnt seem fair to me! If i end up having another child, i am going to have a second baby shower as well!

Check out my blog if you have time!

Have a great day!

mary catherine | 12:45 PM

for the contest i say 13, and for 2nd baby showers i say fabulous!

hope you are hanging in there!

mary catherine | 12:49 PM

(and by second shower i mean of course, an awesome party thrown for you by your friends, or by you, in whatever way you'd like to hang out with people, eating whatever you want, gifts or not, and just celebrating the excitement of a new family member.)


Anonymous | 1:14 PM


Though I so so so hope you don't have any at all. I just like prizes. And even though I don't have a baby, my friend just popped out a gorgeous little boy, and I know she could use the clothes. :)

Anonymous | 1:38 PM

i am going to go with 54728975498572489572894572348975982347598247598234759834759824759824357624784256754367547625347652467.4
because that would be funny if i won.

Anonymous | 1:45 PM

I will go with 11. Good luck and I love the belly pics!

Anonymous | 1:47 PM

I'm going to guess 18.

tricia | 2:52 PM

i say 62...which is about how many i had in a day when preggo with my twins. second baby showers are very cool. my first was a girl and the second time around i was having twin boys. my friends figured i could use a few things---you think. btw--did anyone see the one tori spelling had recently or am i the only freak who watches that side show?

Anonymous | 3:03 PM

guessing lucky number 13. no actual need for any baby clothes, they should definitely go to someone else if I do happen to win... just wanted to play the game... :)

hope you have, like, 2 today.

Anonymous | 3:05 PM

i'll go in with 10. hoping for you're sake no more than that. =)

Anonymous | 3:46 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous | 3:49 PM

I am going to say 17.

amy | 3:59 PM

33 (gosh I hope not!)

second baby showers - tacky...your close friends and family will get you something anyways (especially when the opposite sex as the first) and everyone else would just groan.

Wendy | 4:30 PM

I'm going with 18. Yeah. Sorry it hurts so bad!

Jules | 6:32 PM

Sorry for the pain! I guess 38

Anonymous | 6:51 PM

Uh. 8. I'm shooting low, because usually when you do stuff like point out what's happening, it stops. :)

Anonymous | 6:54 PM

i'm going to go with 16. as for a second shower... i say go for it! my family has always seen them as celebrations of the awesome mom and the new addition to the family. if it would make you feel more comfortable, you could always market it as a party instead of a baby shower.

ps. loved loved loved the book!

Anonymous | 7:26 PM


and are you ever all belly! sooooo unbelievably cute. you look great!

Little Black Girl | 8:44 PM

I'm guessing 16. And I kinda need to win. I'm 22 weeks in and with a girl on the first go round Sonny Boy is gonna need some cool duds.

sweetb | 9:35 PM

I say 2nd babies get a sprinkle instead of a shower...

Quirky Girl | 12:23 AM


Sheila Nielsen Photography | 12:25 AM

I say 12. As for 2nd showers...everybody told me NO!!! So, I didn't have one. I wish that I had & those same friends who said NO! are ending up preggers w/ their 2nd & guess what??!! They are INSISTING on a shower for #2. Anyhoo...I think that they are a celebration......

kittenpie | 2:11 AM

Too late for the contest but adding in that OMG YESSSSS. First time? None. I only started feeling some contractions in that week before birth, when your body is getting ready. This time? BH all the time, starting abut months 5 or 6. Some so bad I have had to put people on hold at the library and breeeeathe through it. TOTALLY sucks.

Emery Jo | 8:16 AM

okay, so I had NO idea there were such amazing jeans out there for us preggo types. I am definitely leaning towards the 'Roxanne' jeans by 7... they are dark and have zippers at the ankles! DROOL PUDDLE. I am scouring eBay for the 'Indianapolis' jeans that you've got because... they are simply fantastic... but no luck yet!

thank you SO SO much for helping me see the light! I am a new woman! :)

Anonymous | 2:46 PM

Cute outfit!

Anonymous | 7:00 PM

I'm preggo with my 2nd too and due in 3.5 weeks. Midwife told me last week that B-H are much worse with the 2nd pregnancy as I've also been experiencing your pain.

scarbie doll | 8:54 PM

Totally not sick of the pics. Think I am a little obsessed with your duvet cover though.

scarbie doll | 9:01 PM

Also, the Toronto blogger chicas threw me the most awesome baby #2 shower. It was a onesie shower. Really it was just an excuse to drink Sangria.

Anonymous | 9:56 PM

I'm guessing a hundred people already said 12, but that's my guess. I hope you didn't really have that many though! Keeping my fingers crossed that I win -- my baby is wearing that size right now!

Anonymous | 5:32 PM

you are so cute with your basketball belly!!! i did NOT carry like that! ~jjlibra

Anonymous | 12:27 PM

Are you wearing maternity jeans? Brand? The lady at the maternity store would not sell me one of those bands to expand my pre-preggo jeans which I love so much b/c she said I was "way past that point." But I'm only 5 months along and my belly is not that huge.

Anonymous | 12:31 PM

ooops. just realized you answered that question already.


Anonymous | 9:30 AM

I thought Braxtons were sort of cool. They didn't hurt a bit. They felt like what they were: a muscle clenching and getting strong, getting ready to do what it was made to do.
Maybe my point of view comes from working out. I am a workout fanatic. Early on, someone gave me a water bottle with the motto Pain is Weakness Leaving the Body. Those became my words to live by. In a large part they're why I have had three children and my body is in better shape than when I was playing field hockey in high school. I compete in triathalons and if necessary I'm relatively confident I could bench press a car.
Regular contractions, I'm told, are worse than Braxton-Hicks. I never got to experience a single "real" contraction because all my children were breech and they were delivered by C-section.
So don't worry; it's almost over!