The Hair Guy

Before today, I was Archer's sole hair-cutter-person. I like longer hair on little boys and plus, if I can cut my own hair (which I do, sans for my twice a year fix-up) then surely I can cut Archer's, which I have done, gladly and without difficulty for the past two years.

I saw no reason to spend cash money on a haircut I could just as easily do myself. Until today when, much to my surprise, Archer asked for one.

He went straight up to the resident (and sexy as hell) hair guy at one of our local haunts and asked him if he'd cut his hair.

"Hi. You give me haircut?" Archer asked.

"Sure! Where's your mommy?" hot hair guy looked around, his eyes twinkling, his tattooed muscles glistening...

"Hi. I'm the mommy. Hi. Hello. Hi there..."

"I can cut his hair for you right now. I have thirty minutes before my next client," he said, brushing his hair out of his eyes in slow-motion. "I mean... if you want me to."

"If I want you? I mean... If I want you to? Well. Um. Heh. Okay. Sure. What the hell. Why not? Yes. You can cut his hair. Okay. Sure. Yes."

Seconds later, Archer was in the chair.

"Here you go, buddy," hot hair guy said, handing Archer a heart-shaped lollipop.


"Yummy, mommy. Look, a treat!"

Yummy, indeed.

Archer was a perfect angel for the entire duration of the haircut, distracted and drooling over his candy.

It wasn't until after we left The Treehouse that I realized Archer's hair was way shorter than I would have ever wanted it to be. It was my fault, of course. I told hair guy he could do "whatever he wanted..."

Apparently, I was just as distracted by my candy as Archer was with his. (And who am I kidding? Probably a little drooly as well.)


I know there are are tons of women out there who feel oh-so-sexy when pregnant. I am not one of these women. I feel like my body's been hijacked and I'm a prisoner of war-- tortured with contractions, swelling and weight gain I can't control, (twenty-five pounds, with 10 weeks to go) and simply put: ugly.

Getting attention from any man, at this point in my pregnancy, is a treat. So when this crazy gorgeous mannequin of a human being is paying me attention, seemingly oblivious to the fact that one of the most beautiful women of all time is standing three feet behind me, you're damn right I'm going to let him cut my kid's hair. No question. And when he lifts up his shirt to show me his tattoos? You're damn right I'm going to empty my wallet on his feet, which I practically did before the haircut was even over. Do you have a tip-jar? or should I just put it in your pants?

The moral of this story? A little sugar goes a long way.


(And I'm not talking about Archer's lollipop)

GGC

48 comments:

Anja | 5:42 PM

ohh dear me he really looks delicious!

Assertagirl | 6:10 PM

Come to Mama.

AVB | 6:13 PM

That's it, I'm getting my haircut at the Treehouse Social Club from now on. And damn, a lollipop as well?!

Mama Ginger Tree | 6:19 PM

Holy hot hair guy! I might just have to drive down to LA for my kids haircuts. Thanks for sharing.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 6:20 PM

Ah, yes. He cuts mommy (and mommy's friends) hair as well. Get some.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 6:20 PM

Also, you ladies are hilarious.

Jia@ColorMeUntypical | 6:22 PM

Oh snap! If he were my hairdresser I'd be bald I'd have gone to see that man so often!

nancy | 6:32 PM

Archer's hair looks super cute short.

Note to Hal: Take the woman out to dinner, and work at least 23 separate compliments into your conversation. Pronto.

I know attention from husbands doesn't quite count, but that should be a start.

foodiemama | 7:35 PM

ahhh, he looks cute and you know i am a fan of boys with long hair! and, huh... treehouse here i come sans haircut since the kid says he'll be 20 before we cut it... dreadlocks here he comes!

mommymae | 8:57 PM

so cute that archer went up to hot haircut guy and asked for a haircut. my bug had a trim today and i can't cut his long locks. he has curls!! that are blondish!! when i was pregnant with him his sisters gave each other a haircut and i freaked out and bawled like a baby. jeebs gave me the best advice when she said, "it's just hair, mommy. it will grow back." she was right. it did. so will arhcer's

merlotmom | 9:21 PM

where the hell is this place, i'm on my way...

Jess | 9:37 PM

smokin' hot, they dont grow em up here like that!

Rachael | 9:42 PM

Archer's hair will grow back... you got to stare at hot hair man for half an hour. Lordy. They both look very cute!

ALEXA YOUNG | 9:43 PM

Dude...the camera totally added 12 inches of height to hot hair guy's hair. He didn't look nearly that tall in person! Weird. And thanks for telling me that one of the skinny bitches in our midst was Ms. Landry. I had no clue. I'm so bad at recognizing celeb types. Usually I think they're people I went to grade-school with or something, so I go up to them: "Hey! Don't I know you...? Were you in my remedial basket-weaving class back in Riverside?" Duh. ANYWAY...so much fun hanging at the Treehouse with you (well worth the 3 hours of drive time!). I say HHG + GGC = TLA. Sweet! XOXO

mothergoosemouse | 11:16 PM

That's a haircut that's worth the $$.

iMommy | 6:20 AM

Teehee, how funny! He was pretty darn sexy though!

Man, where did you say you got Archer's hair cut, again?

Kate | 7:38 AM

Oh lord, he is stunning. I know where I'm headed on my next trip to L.A.

Sabrina K. | 8:06 AM

I need a hair cut, and dyed too, which takes a while.....hmmm, maybe I should fly back to cali to get it done, I mean, Pennsylvania's not that far away, is it really? We just left a few months ago, dang, I wish I had known...

Punk Rock Mom | 9:08 AM

wow. He is thee hottness.

kittenpie | 10:23 AM

Yow. He's not my type, but even so, I can see how that would do it...

(And I've always cut Pumpkinpie's simple straight hair with bangs, too.)

(And also not feeling so sexy over here with this alien beach ball stapled to my front and up 29 pounds with about 6 or 7 weeks to go. Too tired for sexy anyhow. Misterpie tells me he misses me. Me too, buddy, me too.)

Nicholas | 10:29 AM

Heh, so I guess Archer is feeling better. It seems like yesterday you were just writing about him having complete sentences, and now he is asking for haircuts? Crazy! From fish sticks to hair cuts.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 10:50 AM

Yes! Apparently he had a 48 Hour bug and woke up Friday morning right as rain. Thank the lawd.

Re: complete sentences, it's crazy how much he is communicating now. He talks now. Like, really, talks and has a point of view and asks for things and it's still a total trip for me. So much fun, though.

Pecos Blue | 1:28 PM

He is cute. I mean both of them. The hair will grow back. Maybe you will go back : 0 Fun post.

I am hosting my first giveaway for a superhero cape! come and see.

erin

Amelia | 2:39 PM

Oh dear that last photo is hilarious. I think I would steer clear having seen that expression.

Do you ask people if they mind being on your blog? Do you tell them about it? Not criticizing, purely curious... I've often wondered.

Lindsay | 6:07 PM

ha-ha thanks for the laugh. this was funny.
i hear ya on feeling hi-jacked when pregnant.

Knit in the Northwest | 6:24 PM

OMG. OK, Becca... I snorted on that last comment.

Pearmama | 12:31 AM

Ali Landry? Aw, hell no. Didn't you know that dudes find pregnant ladies hot because all of their veins below the waist are already swollen...and its obvious they put out? Thought you knew, girlfriend.

Yeh. He was hot. But I have three boys with long hair...of which I am very possessive of--you would have to cut it off over my dead, cold body.

the weirdgirl | 10:30 AM

Great... now all I can think about are hairy 'pops!

PAPA | 12:17 PM

I (we) still have 2 more months before our little one's due so haircuts are a little bit on the horizon, but I know for myself a) i always go to bad places or b) my hair must suck because i always gets a bad cut and then i feel guilty like maybe it was MY fault so i tip big which makes my sylist think they did a good job thus repeating the bad hair chopitis. so not only do i have bad hair for 3 weeks, i have to live with the thought that i PAID for that bad hair.

stljoie | 3:40 PM

Another giant leap from baby to little boy. He is just such a doll.

The Mommy | 6:30 PM

He's adorable...Archer that is. I know the power of the hot as hell hair guy. Mine is called "Hot Matt." That's what he's knows as. Even to my mother who hates tattoos but loves them on him. Did I mention Hot Matt is also straight and it a totally devoted husband and father? Makes him even hotter.

I keep the boy's hair long except for one short-ish cut at the beginning of summer. Other than that he gets to have rock and roll surfer hair all year long. He loves it, I love it and I take him to the same place I go for his cuts. Wouldn't trust him to anyone else.

Mamalang | 6:39 PM

Even no longer pregnant, I would definitely enjoy him flirting with me. Thanks for remembering the pictures!

Kendra | 6:37 AM

Oh...but he's so cute!

Archer looks cute too......;)

Marie-Ève | 8:01 AM

You're damn right, yummy candy! Archer looks so cute, and the hair is fine, I totally like longer hair on boys too (in fact, Louis-Philippe has pretty much the same cut as Archer's). My mom does the trimming, and every time I whine that it's way too short! But three weeks later the Beatles-like mane is fully back, and his hair at the back kinda looks like a mini-mullet.

Now that you know he can do it, you should let Archer come up to all kinds of cute guys so you can talk to them!

And don't be silly, 25 pounds with 8 weeks to go is nothing, especially given that you're such a tall gal... I think I reached 25 pounds at 6 months (and I still lost it all minus a few pesky pounds).

Maternal Mirth | 10:24 AM

Um, wow.

Oh and Archer looks cute too :)

Miss Britt | 10:38 AM

Oh.. my..

I need a haircut.

Dawn | 10:56 AM

Yeah. He can cut my kids' hair anytime.

Janine | 10:57 AM

Superhot hair guy. Pity I live on another continent, or I'd SO have all 3 kids' haircuts done by him.

Wendy | 12:28 PM

Gotta love those pregnancy hormones, even if you do feel ugly. Which you shouldn't by the way. I felt the same way though with all 3 of my pregnancies.

His hair is still really cute, too!

Anonymous | 2:13 PM

My mom cuts my brothers hair as well. Archer looks so cute with long hair. I just like it better.
amandashea17

heather... | 5:01 PM

HOLY. COW. I have GOT to start going to Treehouse!!!

Mom101 | 7:29 PM

Okay, will add "cute straight haircutters" in the "Pros of moving to LA" column.

Heh.

And um, Archer looks adorable too. (And thanks, now I have Urge Overkill in my head, although I guess that's better than Neil Diamond.)

CaraBee | 8:49 AM

The hair guy is too hot for me. I'd wind up walking out with a mohawk or something because he told me it would look good on me and I'd be all "oh yeah, that's a GREAT idea, you're so smart and talented." And then I would cry for two weeks and never go back. I need my hairdressers to be reasonably (but not too) attractive gay men. No dangers there.

Bringing Up Ben | 10:27 AM

yeah....I gotta get to that Treehouse soon....

PetiteMommy | 7:24 PM

I would actually take my kids to a hair salon if I got to have fun like you do. ;)

BTW, they both look CUTE.

Trenches of Mommyhood | 8:25 AM

I'm drooling. And it's not over that cute little heart lollipop either.

Dianna | 2:55 PM

Dang, you weren't kidding. Wow.

Molly | 6:53 PM

Doooooooooooood...