This week is the two-year anniversary of the passing of an old and dear friend. A boy whose phone number I never took out of my cellphone - whose mix tapes I still have in my glove compartment. I think about Mason often - wonder if he's back among the living - sort of like what Archer said last week about ...waking up and becoming someone's baby sister.
I love to think that he and all loved ones lost, can find themselves again. In new lives, with new eyes and love and friendships.

I have spent so much of the last ten years looking back. Remembering and missing and longing for things I let go. Years and friends and loves -- moments that, in retrospect seemed so flawless, romantic, impossibly lost.

There have been so many times I wished it possible to pay the past a visit. Tonight was not one of them. I realized, this evening, while looking through old notes and pictures and various nostalgic bait, that I'd much rather focus on what's coming. New lives. New roads. New, new, new.

The good ol' days are yet to come.

No, wait. They're already here.

43. These Roads Don't Move by: Ben Gibbard & Jay Farrar


ED: I'm going to keep comments open on track tuesdays from now on. For those with music recommendations, stories to share about your lives, current soundtracks, et all...


Anonymous | 3:27 AM

I love the perfectness of the future. No mistakes, no regrets. Only kept promises lying in wait.

CatiV | 4:06 AM

It's funny how a few days ago I visited what used to be an abandoned place to take some pics. A friend of mine also happened to commit suicide there in high school (and no, I didn't go there for morbid reasons, I just like abandoned places because of the atmosphere). But I digress.

I went there to take some pics just to discover that this abandoned little factory was now someone's house and thought to myself that it was relieving. The cycle had begun all over again. New lives, new stories. And so life goes on. We just can't cling to the past. I just don't want to.

Sarie | 4:59 AM

I'm curious to what's on the mixtapes. I LOVE mixtapes.

I love your Track Tuesdays, btw. I have them all in a list and am slowly getting the tracks I don't yet have and compiling them in a playlist in iTunes.

Michelle White | 7:40 AM

Once agin you picked the perfect song for my day.

Jane | 10:22 AM

Amen, sistah!

Ray | 10:35 AM

I am so sorry for you loss. <3

Last week I’ve fallen in love with two new songs: One of them (ESPECIALLY) being, “Signs” by Bloc Party (heartbreakingly beautiful song) and, “White Lies” by E.S.T.

Heather | 1:54 PM

One year to the day that I lost my friend.

Thanks for this post.

Mailornish | 3:44 PM

Great post. Though I'm sure it never gets easier missing a great friend, it is lovely to anticipate what is to come rather than to get caught in "nostalgic bait" (fatastic!). Is that maturing? or just really digging your life?

Coffee In Action | 6:48 PM

This post reminds me of Brandi Carlile's "That year". Memories and forward movement are not mutually exclusive.


Margo | 7:21 PM

Yes! Good ol' days ahead!
Love you, Becca, you always hit home. My mom passed away 2 years ago in May and we just celebrated her birthday last month. I have been thinking of the past ... but the future is shining.

The song of the week in my casa is
Strange Overtones
David Byrne and Brian Eno
Everything That Happens Will Happen Today
(mp3 is FREEEEEEE on amazon and way worth the download http://www.amazon.com/Everything-That-Happens-Happen-Today/dp/B001GGXGKI )

Alexandra | 7:30 PM

I know just what you mean.

Old pictures just kill me. THese people were once so big in my life, and now, I know nothing about them....

Shocks the system.

Angee | 11:13 PM

Do you think a woman in her mid twenties could pull off a pettiskirt with leggings?


Pettiskirts with leggings are made for a woman in her mid-twenties :)

Olivia Singleton | 1:25 PM

It's because you believe pettiskirts and leggings are made for women in their mid-twenties that made me fall in love you from the very beginning. I have never really sung my praises to blog writers before simply because I feel like it seems insincere. However, I'm breaking my personal rule to tell you that your book has had a very positive impact on my life. It will forever remain in my collection of treasured books.

For as long as I can remember I've been riddled with anxiety over living a strict life of conformity. It's always been college, marriage, children, saving for retirement, and on and on. But you helped me see that life isn't always about coloring in the lines. Life can sometimes be about pettiskirts and leggings. Thank you so much.

Lulu | 8:52 PM

This is my first time on your blog and I came via babble`s 50 top mommy blogs!

I LOVE your mixtape posts- so far they have all been songs I have never heard before (I read through the last five)

I will definitely be back.