Posted by GIRL'S GONE CHILD | Tuesday, April 24, 2007
I used to go out every day. I managed to lunch and shop and work-out five days a week. I tried on jeans in cozy boutiques while archer snacked on rice cakes in his stroller. I met up with friends while they hung their paintings in galleries. I went everywhere and did everything I used to do, before I had a baby.
Archer slept in his stroller on walks. He held my hand down stairs. He stayed close to me and enjoyed flirting with the pretty shopgirls in the local boutiques. He nibbled madeleines at cafes, while I sipped coffee and read my book. He played quietly with Legos at the Y daycare while I read Entertainment Weekly on the bike.
"I don't know what everyone is complaining about," I thought. "This is easy."
Because more or less, everything was wonderful and motherhood was a joy. Kind of like giving birth to a best friend whose farts you like the smell of.
I miss those days.
I miss them when I meet a friend for lunch and have to leave halfway through. I miss dressing rooms and sorting through sale racks for summer dresses. I miss chatting up strangers on busy boulevards as Archer smiled sweetly on. I miss being able to stop at an intersection, without holding my son down in his stroller. I miss hanging out with childless friends and having intelligent conversation (because what childless friend wants to hang out with two psychos?) about things that didn't involve child behavior patterns.
I miss taking Archer to museums and libraries and on nature walks without him throwing a temper tantrum because the sun is in his eyes, only to throw another temper tantrum because I tried to put a hat on him. I miss being able to work out for longer than five minutes without being asked to leave by the daycare ladies. I miss magazines on the porch and Archer playing with the dogs on the stoop, without running off.
"Being a mother doesn't have to change your life," I have always said to myself and to my friends.
But that was before I was the mother of a two-year-old.