Evolve: An Epiblogue

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I mentioned "change" repeatedly in yesterday's post when what I should have expounded upon was "evolution" ... a word so many of you referred to in your lovely comments and one I should have thought to explore - especially since "evolve" was my very first perma-note to self:
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This tattoo, on my wrist, was done by three artists in three cities during three very different times in my life. It says "ev*ol*ve*"and the stars, one empty, one shaded and one full, were reminders at nineteen, then twenty, then twenty-one, that evolution was undeniable, inescapable, the point and punch-line of all things.

Much like many of the others, the tattoo itself isn't the prettiest of scars. The artist(s) weren't researched. Much like my hip tattoo, I just wandered into a tattoo parlor on three different occasions and asked for a star, then two more stars, then some text. The stars are imperfect. The text unrefined. A bit of a mess, they are. But so is change and growth and life and death and everything that happens between the two points.
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Still, it's wonderful to know that so much is possible. The invisible space that draws a bridge between beginning and end. A winding curve that twists upside down and back again.

Evolve.

Every day is an opportunity for redefinition. What a relief because I don't want to be the same girl I was. What a relief because I don't want to be the same woman I am. How insulting that would be to the infinity of paths and options.

I used to think that drawing lines was limiting. That was until I realized I could draw them all in pencil. That even published words, in this space, can be edited after the fact. Deleted. Typos changed. This isn't permanent, you know? Nothing is. Not people. Not memories. Not even tattoos.

The alternative to evolution is paralysis. Thank you for reminding me of that with your words and eyes and insight, you amazing people, you.

GGC

23 comments:

Muffin Cake | 7:44 AM

So, so true!

PS: How much of a pain was it trying to photograph your own wrist? ;)

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 7:45 AM

Practically impossible. Ha!

cora d | 8:03 AM

Love it. In addition to the wisdom, I've also been curious about the tattoo on your wrist. Care to share your others with us?

And while you can draw your own lines in pencil, you can also draw in other areas of the paper - revisit old places, discover untouched plains.

I *thinK* I'm ready to leave behind the working world for a while (after 8 months of unemployment, you'd think I'd be there already) and be a mom, housewife, etc. Explore new territory - evolve.

P.S. I did get myself 3 new tops and a ton of Christmas presents for others, thanks to the gift certificates! Thank you!!!

John | 8:41 AM

Is Change for the sake of change Evolving.
Surely evolving is change with a purpose and direction.
Change for the sake of change is that hiding and running away.
We have to be careful of what we throw away. Memories good or bad are always there.

Girl | 8:56 AM

So funny that you would post this. I just posted my own thoughts on this word, because it's going to be my theme for 2011.
I'm hoping we all evolve a little this year.

jessica | 9:34 AM

I also have a wrist tattoo of stars, 4 total, each a different color representing my 3 sisters and I. We all have one. And we also did not research our artist. The result is 4 stars, a little bit different and not perfect. But I like them the way they are. It's a good reminder of how we are each different yet the same!

Sydney | 9:39 AM

I'm so glad that you get something valuable back from us, your readers - because the inspiration you give us is phenomenal Rebecca.

Like others have said before me many times, keep on keepin' on.

My Bottle's Up! | 10:02 AM

i swear you are in my head... my post from yesterday is right along these same lines.

maybe it's the time of year that is causing this kind of reflection.

cheers to evolving. constantly.

Lou Lou Belle | 10:02 AM

Lady, I *LOVE* seeing and hearing about your tattoos. I am becoming ever more tattooed (as we speak I am several months into a big project...) and I am basically obsessed with other people's tattoos and stories. hooray. and I love this one, it's excellent.

Bobbi Janay | 10:35 AM

I love it, I want so many more tats. I need to just walk in and get it done.

Lola | 10:59 AM

i was going to comment when i read your last post, where is the fun in staying the same forever? looks like you figured that out on your own. i love the new direction of your blog and why would anyone want a creative outlet to never evolve is beyond me! keep on doing what you're doing, it's fabulous.

flyrish | 12:08 PM

Yay! Evolve is a very special word to me. When I first met my husband, he was a graffiti artist and guess what he went by -- I loved seeing "Evolve" scrawled and bombed all over town. It's such an awesome message. Love that you have it tattooed on your wrist.

Anonymous | 1:05 PM

of course no one wants to see you paralyzed. i never realized that me asking for more of the "good stuff" would morph into all of this. of course i love you, your style and your writing. maybe i should have just kept my mouth shut. i never meant to offend you or for you to think i wanted you to never change. of course i know you are changing, we all are. its necessary to evolve and grow and yes this is what you have shown through your blog. i will always read your blog no matter how much i wish there were more introspective bits going on. i never wanted to give you the impression that i only wanted you to blog about your kids or your marriage or any of that. all i was asking for was more of the beauty that is your writing about thoughts on life, whatever part of life you chose to write about. you write so beautifully and always seem to speak right to my heart, so in a way i suppose i was selfishly grasping at straws for more of this style of post. im sorry again for offending you. and i don't wish to be anonymous on purpose, i just dont have a profile. my name is jessica. i once commented on one of your posts and called you "vintage in a world of mass produced". you wrote back and told me it made you cry. i still feel that way about you and always will. xoxo

Anonymous | 1:36 PM

I think the naysayers are afraid of their own evolution. There are, after all, many people who reject change/evolution of any kind, and feel deeply afraid when they detect it in you.

Anonymous | 1:36 PM

Hey Rebecca...I've left comments here before. Don't know if you even notice me. I'm Angie from Germany. I'm sitting here with a glass of wine. I'm 22. Married. I have two sleeping kids. Playing on photoshop and hoping one day I'll be a great photo-artist. YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION! I know each post you ever wrote on here by heart....I know this sounds sick. To me you are what Henry Miller is to you. You make shit sound beautiul. I love how you talk about modern motherhood etc. I love you. My english is better because of you. SO often I sat here being grateful for your awesome words so often you said what I needed. Please Dont stop talking about your life. I'm a huge lover of fashion too...I just dont want to have to stop hearing about your honesty.

Thank you for everything!!!!!!!

~Kristina | 1:59 PM

i love every word of this post.

ERM | 2:34 PM

I really needed to read this today. Thank you so much for writing.

robin | 4:07 PM

The last two posts bring Fleetwood Mac's lyrics to mind.

"I've been afraid of changing, 'cause I've build my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older, I'm getting older, too."

Evolution is a good thing :)

findingmagnolia | 4:24 PM

I love this post because I've been thinking a lot lately about the flow of life, of how mine has changed and will change in ways both planned and unplanned. For me, new motherhood, coupled with my daughter's particular needs, have left me with a life that largely revolves around her. It surprises me that I don't really mind that, that I don't feel like I'm less myself than I used to be simply because there's someone else who needs more from me than I am giving myself. But I think it boils down to the knowledge that it won't be like this forever, that life is not static, and that giving myself to her in this way is just part of both of our journeys, as we grow and learn and yes, evolve. And it says something about who I am at the core that I am willing. Someday, she won't need so much of me. To savor these days as part of the ebb and flow of my life, is a good and amazing and wonderful thing. Soon there will be something new to savor. I like that about life. I like it a lot.

jessica (not anonymous!) | 6:28 PM

how many times do i say that i like or dislike something or i'm this way or that way only to contradict myself later?! instead of saying i am this way, i should say, i am this way today. because really, it could all change by tomorrow.

Glenda | 10:22 AM

love your tats!

Anonymous | 6:16 PM

I dig the changes. I absolutely love the fashion, makeup & cooking as well as the deeper stuff. Rock on with your bad self. Haters stand aside. I think your change in focus reflects the evolution so many mothers go through: when I first had my kid I was obsessed with two things: taking care of her and the early-mid-life-crisis and angst that becoming a parent triggered. Then, after a while, I chilled out and started to re enter the world and not take it all too seriously and just enjoy it all. The shift in your column reflected that commonality, I think. Plus I think it is very wise to keep your kids lives private.

PS - your moms gingerbread house post is awesome, and combines cooking with themes of family wonderfully.

Mrsgryphon | 8:02 PM

Amazing how we sometimes forget that we can change... I just hit a wall myself, in the last couple of weeks, and then realized that all (all! Ha!) I had to do was make a decision to change things.

I like what John said about change with a purpose - I think, though, that if you're thinking about change and feeling like an evolution of sorts needs to happen, that's all the purpose you need.