Desperately Reading Potty Training Advice... From Myself and also Others (Sponsored)

This post is brought to you by Quilted Northern Soft & Strong® which is sort of the light at the end of our potty-training tunnel. Thanks, Quilted Northern. You are as soft as you are strong.
First off. Whoa comments! Thank you all for your sage potty-training advice, holy cow! So many great tips and tricks and ideas and advice and constructive criticism et al.

It just so happens, Archer's mom DID in fact come through with a response to my letter. And this is what she wrote:
Dear Fable's Mom, (or if you prefer, "Pee-No in WeHo," which I'll admit is kind of weak. You could have done A LOT better with names but whatever. I forgive you because we're the same person.)
But let's start again:
Dear Fable's Mom,
You silly goose! What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks are you carrying on about? Fable is TWO. Two years and two weeks old. We didn't even bring a baby potty into our home until Archer was two and a half and even then, it's not like he used it for a toilet. Don't you remember anything, Fable's mom? We used that sucker to store bath toys for like, months.

In fact, we didn't even begin to start worrying about potty training until Archer was three because Archer, like Fable, showed no interest in potties at age two whatsoever. And when he finally did? We got one of those sticker charts as incentive but never once used it. Because once he decided he wanted to pee on the potty, he totally peed on the potty. And that was that. So, my dear confused Fable's mom, HEAR THIS: Chill, woman.

If Fable has no interest in peeing (or pooping) on the potty right now, fine. She will. And then that will be that and before you know it she'll be in Kindergarten waxing poetic about death and the art of eating string cheese.

Here's the thing, Fable's mom. If Archer has taught you anything, it's that every child is different. Some children walk at eight months, some wait until they're two. Your kids are late bloomers, always have been. And even if they weren't, who's to say when anyone is and should be ready to do anything? Not me and I would hope, not you either.

Oh, Fable's mom. I know you look at Fable and see this giant child who wears 5T jeans but she's still a toddler! A wee babe! A small fry! A micro mini machine! So lighten up and let the girl do her thing. You never pressured Archer to potty and guess what? He came to it on his own. One day he just did it, Nike style, and he never looked back.

Okay so that's not ENTIRELY true. He had accidents every now and then, and yes there was a poop-in-public incident that might have scarred us for life, but other than that, potty training was relatively painless. Want to know why? Because you didn't put a time stamp on it. It was a process and you went with it.

So. If you're still there and you're listening, my potty training advice to you is this: leave the baby toilet out where she can see it. Call it a "porta party" and let Fable use it when she's good and ready to sing "Poop! There it is!" In the meantime? Leave her alone. And leave yourself alone while you're at it, you crazy lady. She's TWO, yo.

And when she's three, we can revisit this conversation.



In the meantime, continue to encourage but don't you dare push. You will know when Fable's ready. Right now? She's not. The end.


Archer's mom
AKA, "Worry not about the pot"


I'm closing comments on this post because I can only pick one winner (Quilted Northern is hooking one lucky reader up with a year's supply of toilet paper as well as a $50 Visa gift card) so please feel free to comment AGAIN, here. I'll pick one winner via this Monday, December 6th to announce on both posts.

In the meantime? Be excellent to each other. And potty on, dudes.


And now a word from our sponsor: For opportunities to win free Quilted Northern Soft and Strong® and help make the taboo talkable, join the conversation at or on Twitter @QuiltedNorthern.


EDITED, Monday, 12/6: Congratulations to #105 semipseudo! You just won a year's supply of toilet paper and a $50 gift card c/o Quilted Northern! Thanks to all for participating!