Ever since 4th grade I have been compiling a list of "baby names." It was a fun lunchtime activity, a great WILDCARD journal entry before bed when I had nothing else to write about and STILL even after having a child I work on my "list" frequently. I am writing this post because I have a feeling that I'm not alone, that most of you have done/still do the same thing.
How I know? I know many of your baby/kid's names and they are not "Chris and Sarah." And if they are, Sarah is probably the boys name and Chris, the girls. It's cool. Trust me, I'm into the whole boy-name-for-girls thing. If Archer was a girl his name was going to be "Doug." I digress. When I first found out I was pregnant, even before I made the teary journey down Melrose to break the news to my boyfriend, I had a list about nineteen pages long of baby names. Archer was not on that list. Neither was Sage. But that is neither here nor there. The point is that original names seem to be not only extremely common but pretty much a prerequisite for parents giving birth today.
Growing up in my town every boy's name was Chris, Mike or Jason. I dated five Chris' and about 657 Jasons. Every other girl was a Kelly, Sarah or Nicole so if you ever had a "female emergency" in the girl's bathroom you could pretty much shout any of the above girl's names and within seconds a tampon would roll into your stall. No one went by first names because it was so confusing so everyone started going by last names. (Smith and Cooper and Richards) And although I was one of only two Rebeccas at high school, the other Rebecca had the exact same schedule as me pretty much all four years. I hated her. She was always bare-foot and she talked really loud and said nothing. To break off all association, I went by Becca.
When I presented my list of baby names to the ol' man he rejected every single one them.
"What? You don't like Paper? I think it's a cute name for a girl!"
"Are you carrying an extra chromosome, woman?"
Right,well HE was more interested in names like:
Awesome (no middle name needed)
Archer Sage was the ONLY somewhat-original name not on both our lists that we agreed on and to this day we are very happy.
I am convinced that the reason everyone is naming their children fantastic, interesting names is because, well, our parents just weren't very original. We are rebelling, parent friends!!! Fuck yeah.
...Now, if you will excuse me I have some bad-ass baby-name lists to attend to and it's okay, you can get back to your lists as well. Ready? Break!