Twinversation

We're going to play a drinking game. Every time I post the word "twins" we drink. (Don't worry, I'm drinking water and so are you.) I keep thinking the awe/novelty of this whole twins (heyaaaa!) business is going to wear thin but in fact the opposite. Every day I wake up like a shot. TWINS! (cheers!) TWINS! (l'chaim!) TWINS! (salud!) lights blinking on my marquis de soul. It's consuming me. They're consuming me. And my blog, clearly, which is how these things operate. I could care less who's wearing what. World news is impossible to stomach. Angry Birds? I STILL have no idea what that is. What I want to know is how expectant mothers of twins are decorating their nurseries (Adorable, btw.) I want to watch LIVE BIRTH VIDEOS of vaginally delivered twins on youtube. (I've seen them all.) I want to follow Mariah Carey around with a notepad (She's expecting twins any day.) and the list goes on...

We shot the following momversation less than a week after I found out I was pregnant with (drink!) twins and was still somewhat of a total wrecksketcase. I cried through half the video because Heather is so sweet and amazing and I want to marry her soul. She's also a twin (bottom's up!) and shared what that relationship has meant to her. I cried listening to Jen Levinson, who has two pairs of twin (ahem) boys, because she was so generous with advice and kindness (and emailed me a giant list of twin (knock it back) resources after we taped, which was so rad of her.) The outpouring of support has been mindblowing and I've created a folder called "Twinning" with all the documents and links and double stroller recs I've received over the last few weeks.


I'm not usually one for soliciting advice but hearing from other parents of multiples has been beyond helpful. I chuck the books because you guys are far more insightful. So tell me everything you know. And, yes I've seen the twin (Frank the tank, Frank the tank!) video. I'm responsible for at least 289 of its views. And yes of course I cried, because, well, twins. (Congratulations. You are now officially hydrated.)

GGC

54 comments:

JB | 9:15 AM

I know you have seen the twin video on youtube BUT the commentary on GMA made me laugh :-) . http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/twin-talk-video-babies-babble-adults/story?id=13246486 . "I'm a little bit country!" "Interesting, because I'm a little bit rock and roll."

I'm so, so happy for you guys, even though I don't know you!!

My Bottle's Up! | 9:22 AM

shit, i was supposed to drink WATER?!?!

Sarah | 9:27 AM

So excited for you! I'm going to make some goodies for you with the new fabric I just got in!

twoblackcatsboutique.etsy.com

Camelia | 9:27 AM

It's because you've already celebrated on two different pregnancies, so you needed something different this time. If it was just one baby it would "same old same old" whereas now it's as if you're starting from the beginning, new things you need to learn!

By the way, maybe you need the new Bugaboo "Donkey" stroller! it seems practical! http://www.bugaboo.com/214

I'm a new mother and my daughter is 4 months old but I've been reading your blog a long time before I got pregnant. Now I feel I can relate even more to what you write :)

Anonymous | 9:27 AM

I just found out I am pregnant with ONE and it is my first. I feel overwhelmed with just that... so you are totally inspiring me and making me feel so strong and awesome every day. So I just wanted to tell you that I think you are amazing and those twins are going to be AWESOME.

Glenda | 9:37 AM

I would've loved twins when I as pregnant, but luckily I did have a son and a daughter.

My nephew's wife has a set of twins (a boy/girl 6 mos) and on my hubby's side his brother has a set of twins (2 girls 14 yrs old).

I'm so happy for you. Can't wait to follow your journey and see the nursery and especially the babies!

This is definitely a new journey for you as well. Having had 2 pregnancies, one of each, and now x2 this is new...new..new...and so exciting! Wishing you only the best throughout your pregnancy and following your journey.

Archer and Fable are awesome and the twins (drink up) will be awesomeness x2!! :)

annabelvita | 9:37 AM

I love the twins posts on ohdeedoh! (i'm nothing to do with them, just like their stuff).

Some twins nurseries from there:
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/small-kids-big-color-2009/amelia-pauls-bright-fun-playful-space-small-kids-big-color-entry-9--099461

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/my-room/my-room-levi-norahnormal-il-116157

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/small-kids-big-color-2010/ian-and-eleanors-cozy-twin-roomsmall-kids-big-color-entry-63-132803 (this ones for older kids)



And weird things:

Creepy bunk bed cribs: http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/cribs-bassinets/twoinfant-bunkie-081711

Hilarious high chair:
http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/table-for-two-131504

Oh and bonus, twin sling! http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/droolicious/archive/2009/04/10/baby-sling-with-room-for-two.aspx

Ali Pitchford | 9:38 AM

My mom is a twin, and my sister just had twin boys this past September. My sister is only 21, and has a 2 year old daughter along with the twins, and she does just fine! You will be fantastic!

So excited for you :)
Good luck!

Amanda | 9:46 AM

I loved hearing from Heather because I have 2 1/2 b/g twins and am so interested in their relationship down the road. Congrats to you!!! It's a lot fun. I'm sure you have an outpouring of info, but feel free to check out my blog and email me whenever :)

Amanda
www.chasingtwinsinlouboutins.com

Cynthia | 9:59 AM

Twins run in my family. My great grandmother was part of a set of twins in a family of THREE sets of twins. (They were six siblings total - born in three pairs. Insane. I know.) I remember seeing a picture of her and her sister - two Mexican indigenous women holding hands, dark black braids framing each of their faces.

I have cousins who are twins, and my sister has twin boys. They're just coming into an age when they're having conversations with each other, and they make each other laugh. It's beautiful. I can imagine you're overwhelmed at the thought of it, but it's gonna be amazing.

Laurie | 10:04 AM

Hi, I just found you via "the internet". Congrats on two!

I am so smiling over your post. I had twin girls 10 months ago (natural vag. delivery btw). My son had just turned two.

I BAWLED during my ultrasound when we saw two. Like, howled. To the point that the tech. stopped and asked my husband if I was going to be all right.

You know what? It's okay. It's busy, but not crazy. It's tiring, but not impossible. The days are long, but the months are short. And they are DARN cute.

Take a deep breath. It will be the last for awhile.

JB again | 10:23 AM

Ok sorry leaving another comment :-/ NYT just picked up your story! http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/01/tips-on-having-twins/

Emily | 10:50 AM

Keep the twins posts coming! I, for one, am loving them!

I am not a twin, nor do I have twins (just a single eighteen-month-old and he is a big enough handful!) ... But your excitement gets me excited! And is it weird that I'd like to watch those vaginal twin birth videos right along with you?? ;)

Ashley | 11:05 AM

You are hilarious! I am not pregnant with twins or even pregnant with one, but I have a close friend that is expecting triplets any day now. I have learned from her than the multiples community is one amazing , caring, judgement free, generous bunch of folks. I am glad to hear that has held on the west coast too. Multiply mommas rock!

Dana | 11:09 AM

I'm glad you threw out the books. It's the single most important tip I have. You've already got the Mom gig down, you don't need someone to scare you about the birth and you already know how to feed, rock, burp, change, clothe a baby. Having twins is all of that. Just more.
Honestly, I haven't found the challenges particularly unique. Just more exhausting.
I didn't join a multiples club and I never really identified my twins as "the twins."
I'd say "Baby A" and "Baby B" or called by them by name after they were born. Sometimes, I called them "the babies."
My oldest (who had just turned two when they were born) called them "two babies."
I'm sure this is just my hang up, but I wanted them to realize they were uniquely individual instead of just a unique unit. Does that make sense?
Obviously, the fact that they shared my belly at the same time and have spent nearly every moment together since conception is REMARKABLE. SPECTACULAR. SPECIAL! And we tell them that - share pictures of my belly to show them that. But I want them to know they're special as individuals too.
When my twins were 14 months old, I got pregnant with my fourth so, like you, I have two singletons as well. The tricky bit for me - like any parent of a large family with children close in age - is tempering the inevitable rivalries. And on that front, I have no useful tips. Still trying to work that one out.

Melt Momma's Heart | 11:48 AM

My main advice for the first months/ year: stay home. Seriously. Mine were born during cold and flu season and when we left the NICU, our docs suggested voluntary quarantine. I was a first-time mom, so I was (likely) doubly-overwhelmed, but I really do think holing up saved my sanity and maybe their health taboot.

In the meantime: eat and eat! And sleep and sleep.

The WEB We Make | 2:04 PM

I'm a twin too! Best gift I was ever given! The bond between twins is amazing!

L.L. | 2:15 PM

I just found out I am preggo with baby #2 this morning! I was hoping the pregnancy test wasnt in on the whole April Fools thing :) And I've got twins seriously on the brain from your blog, so I think I'll be actually be suprised when the Dr inevitably tells me I am expecting only 1 :)

Lydia | 2:20 PM

So I don't have twins, but my sister does and all I have to say is that twins are SO MUCH FUN! Yes, they are some work, but SO SO fun. Once you have them you will wonder how you ever thought your life would be complete without babies 3 and 4.

Baby in Broad | 3:05 PM

Awesome. My only experience with twins is a college friend who is a twin (she and her sis are the best of friends). I just think it's so flipping rad that you have two babies in you.

Keep the twin posts coming!

~ Noelle

Kristen {RAGE against the MINIVAN} | 3:18 PM

I have twins - sort of. I have two kids, same birthday, same age, but my daughter I birthed and my son I adopted. They look nothing alike and my son only came home from Haiti last year, so I'm still figuring out what it's like to have kids of the same age. Even though they aren't biological twins, I'm running into a lot of the same issues, and just now sort of giving myself permission to read up on multiples. So I am curious to hear more about what resources you find.

jessica | 3:27 PM

what i'm going to write sounds like i don't like you or that i'm bitter but i'm not. for real- i really like you and your blog but i say things that sound bad so i usually preface them with an explanation/apology. anyway, i was just thinking about how you had something to write about when you had archer. young mom! rock n roll lifestyle out the window (or is it?)! getting to know your new husband that you just met! then archer had a speech delay- more to write! is he on the spectrum? will he ever speak? omg he speaks!!! pregnant AGAIN?? it's a girl!! more to write!!!
then, just when we get used to your happy blog about you, hubby, 2 kids, 2 dogs, great style and music sensibility- BAM!!!! TWINS!!!! because one new baby just wouldn't be enough!!! instantly more to write about.
i will try to put this into words but i don't think it'll come out right- i think you are given these things because you have a voice and are supposed to write about it. not that you live to blog or that the course of your life has been altered because of it but you have a purpose in life and this is part of it. make sense? anyway, now this has gone on way to long and seems weird. maybe i'm just drunk after drinking to your post.

nausea during pregnancy | 4:07 PM

I do know that fraternal twins definitely run in families. Women inherit the predisposition to drop two eggs.

In my family (mom's side) there are 32 sets of twins in only 3 generations. My grandma's a twin (and she lost a set), and some of her cousins have 2 and 3 sets within their own children!

My mom didn't have twins. They say it sometimes skips a generation. Guess that means I'm next!

Pants | 4:14 PM

When you posted, a while back, about your dilema in deciding to have another (one) child, I took issue with other readers saying that they weren't going to have children so you could have their extra place in the population. I wrote a comment saying something like, "the population is already too overgrown and there aren't any extra 'spots' left".

Even though I do think that the world is exploding with people, I am SO excited that you are having another two babies! I totally don't know you at all but when you posted about your twins I gasped in excitement and almost called my husband with the news (then realized that would make me crazy).

What I'm trying to say is, I apologize for posting a doubtful comment on your blog because the truth is, it's everyone's world and your twins have as much right to enjoy it as anyone else.

Congratulations to your family. I will continue reading with great enthusiasm and support and keep my nay-saying under control.

mommymae | 4:44 PM

i wrote a post for you. not really advice-laden, as you'll do what you do and i don't really have much to say except "do what you do."

http://mommymae.com/?p=1566

i need an address to send a thank you for the CCFA donation. i can't give it to anyone else since it's personalized.

Alex | 4:47 PM

such cleverness this post has :-)

Kayla | 5:22 PM

BTW I want you to know that the diapers those twins were wearing were Target Brand diapers!! I use those for my son and personally I love them.. PLUS they are half the cost of the other brands:)

Hang in there, you have tons of internet support..

HUGS
K

Tara | 5:25 PM

Big congratulations to you! As a follower of this blog, I agree with Heather that you will be a great mother to twins in that you value and encourage the individuality of your children. I have very little connection to twins and I myself am an only child, but cultivating curiosity and supporting the uniqueness of each child is something that I think we can all agree is incredibly important. You will be wonderful and I'm sure they will be as well.

Meg | 5:30 PM

You know about the best blogger and mom of twins in the whole world right? (other than future you)?

http://www.peoniesandpolaroids.com/

Because you should. I adore you both, and I have *excellent* taste ifIdosaysomyself.

Nursery decorating, adorable pictures, what twins are wearing these days GO CRAZY.

Kim | 5:49 PM

I am a mom of twin 2-year old girls. Yes, it can be tough but honestly it is so much joy. My one piece of advice to you is to not try to do it all yourself. People offered to help me all the time in the beginning but I was Superwoman and could do it all on my own! NOT! I finally learned to take some help and it made my life 100% easier. Also, don't be afraid to take them out. A lot of twin moms cannot even imagine leaving the house but it's honestly the only way that I stayed sane some days.
Welcome to the twins club!

Anonymous | 6:00 PM

i have 18 month old twin boys, and a 3 yo girl.

1- you can totally do it (whatever it is you want. i wanted a vaginal delivery- and i got it).

2- boppy lounge pillows. that and a double snap and go are my only must-have gear recs. my twins LIVED in those boppy lounge pillows for about 2 months.

3- i don't remember the 1st 3 months, so no advice there. good thing i have a lot of pictures and video bc they were so cute.

4- love my stroller- valco tri mode twin with toddler seat attachment (but not a must have as there are a million awesome strollers out there)

5- don't weigh yourself (no, seriously, i'm pretty small and was obsessed with the weight gain guidelines. i had to let it go though bc i was driving myself crazy). my boys were 6.5 and 6.9, and i eventually got back to 120 lbs

6- you'll figure it all out, so try to take 1 day at a time

Erin | 8:48 PM

adorable!

Betsy Hite Reddoch | 10:04 PM

Mom of 11 week old twin boys here. My advice is to release any unrealistic expectations for the birth or parenting. I don't think you have any, but that is my #1 tip. Also, the snap and go stroller is really nice. You don't need two of everything, but one of a few things is good (for example, one swing and one baby gym or exersaucer) so they each have something to do, or else you'll be holding someone constantly (holding babies is great and all, but not ALL. THE. TIME.)
I was part of PregTASTIC podcast when I was pregnant and recently recorded my twin birth story. It was by C-section, so hopefully it won't be too much help to you :)
Betsy

Betsy Hite Reddoch | 10:09 PM

Also, you should check out the multiples series on PregTASTIC here:
http://www.pregtastic.com/category/podcasts/?s=twins

These shows feature two different doctors and a panel of women each pregnant with twins.

Dory | 6:11 AM

I know this is weird to share, but when my girls were a week old we had a little photo shoot. They were screaming. I mean crying for dear life. The photographer stripped them to their diapers and placed them naked next to each other, and instantly the crying stopped. They curled their little legs together and touched their forheads (which they still do and I imagine they did for comfort in my belly :) and it still is one of my favorite twin mom moments. Seeing that bond/love/forever intertwined souls. The only thing that overwhelmed me was am 'I' worthy enough to guide TWO precious people at the same time and guess what, we are.
http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?fbid=1943721231234&set=a.1943721151232.2119230.1188570077&theater

Cheryl Lage | 8:50 AM

The mamas of multiples community is AMAZING....granered great help from them when I was doubly knocked up and working the wee ones post arrival. Both of ours arrived via the traditional exit ramp and both were breastfed the first year (our state fair is a great state fair...felt like a milk cow! ;) )

BUT... that said, HOWEVER they arrive, HOWEVER they are fed is FINE...and will be right for you and your family!!! Take no militant "you must do it this way..." advice from anyone. :) You will discover what works best for all of you. :)

If I sent you the book we wrote, which is basically just me babbling, would you chuck it? ;) (And actually, I get kind of excited when folks love it AND when they hate it...that way, at least they are figuring out what they might want to do in some of the unexpected situations....)

Email me (cheryl@twinsights.com) ---I'll happily send you a copy if you want :)

Lizzy | 9:07 AM

I've been reading here for a while, congrats on the twins!! I have an identical twin sister. I think having a twin is fun, we think exactly a like and act almost exactly the same! We're not "super close best friends" kind of twins but we're close like I am with our other sister. I watched the momversation video and totally agree to embrace their individuality! It took my mom a LONG time to realize we don't want every single thing the exact same and that being dressed alike after kindergarten is embarrassing! Haha it gets annoying being refered to as "the twins" when we were in high school especially. I started ignoring anyone that called me that! haha I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and when I found out I was only having one baby I felt sad for HER because.. how lonely! I mean I always had a friend to play with and go to new schools with and all of that so I was like "who is she going to play with?!" now I just know we'll have more kids, but it's not the same as having a twin and I'm (secretly) hoping our next baby will be a set of twins! :)congrats again! My mom says we were so fun and even had our own secret language before we could talk! ;)

rachael | 9:55 AM

Thanks for the link!

Excited to be TWINNING alongside ya!

My mom says it's like we all have Tourettes...
We randomly shout, "TWINS!" in the middle of conversation :)

Elliesee | 12:07 PM

Thanks for asking:-) My advice is: take the hand-me-downs! Nicely decline things you have to give back, it is just too much to manage. People will be happy to offer things, food and help, so graciously let them. Of course things won't be done your way (the carrots cut in slices instead of in sticks example) but let it go and after... months? you will once again enjoy that delicious feeling of doing things for yourself, by yourself (even if it only the dishes...) I wonder if you need that huge twin breastfeeding pillow. I have only used mine if I was alone and both babies were hungry, so I would say a few times. It does feel like you are saving so much time. If I fed them both while in bed I would use 7 pillows, one of them a buckwheat pillow (nowTHAT is an amazing item to have) The other option is rocking one with one foot (in a baby rocking chair) while feeding the other. Before feeding twins I thought I could wear them both: nope. And I had planned a way to tell them apart even in the dark: not necessary either. Your whole family will enjoy them and thank you for letting us follow you!

Serenity Now | 12:38 PM

I read a blog you might find interesting, she has twins :)

http://liferearranged.com/blog/

You're gonna do great at this, and I'm having fun reading your posts. So very happy for your little family!

Amanda | 5:15 PM

My twin boys are 6 years old and everything is managable. You don't need to worry. My husband helped me with the night time feedings, which was nice, but if I'd been able to breast feed, I still would have been able to do it. Having 4 will be difficult, but you obviously have help from your husband and the rest of your family, so I think y'all will find the twins just enjoyable.

Ida Mae | 7:48 PM

you are too funny :)

heather... | 7:59 PM

I want to marry YOUR soul.

xoxo

Chelsea | 6:33 AM

Rebecca, I'm having guest posts over on my blog for the whole month of april if you're interested!

I'm pregnant myself (22 weeks) and hearing birth stories is one of my favorite pregnant guilty pleasures!

So you're thinking of doing a vaginal birth?! That's awesome. You can SO do it with twins! ;)

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 10:08 AM

You guys rock. THANK YOU.

JCF | 8:20 PM

I'm late to the comment party, but I just wanted to add one thing:

I don't have twins, but I kind of wish I were about to, because have you seen the new Britax B-ready stroller? That thing is awesome!

Twinisms | 9:50 PM

I also have 2 sets of twins :) They are 14 & 4. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never thought I would have a second set, I was sure the first set was a fluke too! But here we are. I posted to the Times article, but there are loads of posts there, so I came here too. My advice is to find a twins or multiples club in your area. I did it with the 2nd set and had the best experience. No one else "gets it" like other multiple moms! And, added bonus, when you get stressed out you can compare your load to trip or quad moms, which makes it easier:) If you want to chat or have any questions I'd be happy to help out! Good luck, you're going to be a great twin mama!

Ray | 11:48 PM

Rebecca:

I don't know you in real life but I just had to say that, "I LOVE YOU!" I love reading this blog. Your words are just so beautiful. And your happiness is the greatest. I wish you all the best of luck with this pregnancy, and thank you so much for letting us be a part of the journey. I can't wait to read more entries on the twins. I'm so happy for you.

Be blessed with the two beautiful souls being created inside you.

jif | 3:09 AM

Hi Rebecca, if you are still looking for reading material, I wrote this twins pregnancy diary for Nivea's baby site. http://www.nivea-international.com/experience/baby-care/Baby%20Care?deeplink_path=baby&deeplink_id=77#/subjects/diary. It is actually a series of weekly email updates that I sent to my girlfriends - I'm American but living in Germany and everyone is spread out all over the place so I emailed everyone once a week to make them feel like they were part of it. The Nivea diary is written under a pseudoneum and the picture is not me - but the voice is mine!(Unfortunately the edits make it a little less colorful than my own but it still works). My twins, who were my first-borns, are now 2.5 yrs old.

Anyway, I did go all the way to week 40 (finally had to induce because they just would not budge) and I did deliver vaginally. That was my wish - though everyone told me that multiples are considered high risk and I shouldn't get my hopes up. The first hospital we visited looked at me like I was an idiot when I said I didn't want a c-section. We visited several hospitals before I found Dr. Ortmeyer, "the baby turner" - he's actually developed a reputation in Germany as "the baby turner". And he said, as long as one is head down, we can try a vaginal delivery. My daughter delivered first as she was lower and head down and a few minutes after she emerged, Dr. Ortmeyer turned my son, who was feet first, by pressing down on my abdomen from outside. He came out 15 minutes later. They were 8 and 7 pounds respectively and nurses came from around the hospital to see the "enormous twins" - a bit of a circus attraction. Anyway, obviously the most important thing is the health of the babies and the mother and if a c-section is necessary, than it is necessary. But a vaginal delivery is possible - and I hope you find doctors who support you if that is your wish because it can be a bit of an uphill battle.

So excited for you!!!

jif | 3:43 AM

Me again, I just reviewed my twin prego diary for Nivea (the link I sent with my comment) because after I sent it I thought, "it won't really be very useful" - but after rereading it, yes, it will. I think. or at least it will make you laugh. or at least it made me laugh. All the things you have to look forward to like an eeeenormous belly! and if you are like me, hugely swollen feet, ankles, knees, ugh! And the birth - at least you have two under your belt already! Anyway, again, if you are looking for more to read on twins, you might enjoy it. xxx

France in France | 5:18 AM

I think I have to pee now:-) Thanks for the smiles!!

Amanda | 8:57 AM

I went to my cousins baby shower yesterday. Twin boys!!! It is so exciting to see the double life growing inside her. I look forward to reading the rest of your journey.

Kirsten | 10:39 AM

Have you already found Indigo Girl? She has a great blogroll for moms of multiples. And she's a wonderful writer (like you!)

http://indigogirl.typepad.com/

KAL | 10:34 AM

Wow, I had lost track of your blog (due to the now-defunct Bloglines). Came looking for one of your awesome quinoa recipes and am stunned to see you're expecting twins! Congratulations. I had followed your blog through your pregnancy with Fable and am very excited for you!

Oh, I saw your poll question... I predict two girls. All best to you!