NICU: Los Angeles

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I'm trying to make light of this NICU business as well I can, which isn't to say I'm completely grateful that the girls are doing incredibly well upstairs. (I write this from my hospital room where I sit alone with my giant breast pump after just seeing off Hal, Archer, Fable and my parents.)
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That's been the hardest part, I think. Having this giant family seemingly overnight and all of us being separated. Bo and Rev (what we're calling them for short) aren't even in the same NICU room anymore so every time I'm with one I feel terrible that I can't be with the other and then I burst into tears and then die on the floor because my C-section is fucking killing me. And then I laugh because I'm so emotional and then I cry again because my C-section and then everyone's like, "are you okay?" and I'm like, "YES! I'm fine! And then I make a joke about Boheme and Reverie being the Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J of the NICU ward. Except instead of wielding guns and fighting crime, they rock Bilirubin glasses and receiving blankets.
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Reverie "living up to her name" Lux
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Boheme "you glow girl" Shalom

(I was told when we were admitted Monday night that because the babies were to be born five weeks early they would have to spend anywhere from a few days to two weeks in the NICU regardless of birthweight. Boheme quickly graduated to the "full term" NICU room but Rev is still in the "Undergraduate program", hopefully graduating soon.)

Tonight Archer burst into tears because he wanted to see his sisters and didn't understand why he had to stay down here in my mess of a hospital room with his crazy emotional mother and her breast pump while his sisters were upstairs alone without us.

Do you want to know how to make an already emotional mother lose her shit entirely? Let her sit and watch her son leave her hospital room in hysterics because "I want us all to be home together."

For now, I have pictures and videos of the babies, promises their sisters will come home soon and then we can be together forever until the end of time I promise.

"But WHEN!?"

"I don't know! Soon! Hopefully really, really, totally and extremely soon!"

As for the girls, they're eating well (Reverie graduated from IV to bottle today) and have no breathing issues so that's A+. They're both about as calm and easy to love as two people could possibly be. And soon (next week?), we'll all be together, crying I'm sure, for entirely new reasons.

In the meantime, a few quick snaps from this afternoon:

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where you at, girl?
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Oh, you know. Long day yesterday. Trying to sleep it off.
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You should see me right now. I look like a future baby.
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You should see ME right now. I'm trying to sleep.
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That's cool. We're not allowed to use cell phones in here anyway.
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Peace out.
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Sweet dreams.

GGC

***

P.S. For those asking, Boheme is pronounced Bo-Em, as in Bohème. More on the girls' names later, promise promise. In the meantime, fais de beaux Bo reves Rev.

P.P.S. On behalf of all six of us, thank you, thank you and thank you for being so wonderful. We have read every comment and tweet and post and email, are floored by your kindness and love. I can't begin to tell you how much it means.

258 comments:

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Kate | 2:02 PM

MAZEL TOV!
They are beautiful!

Let the journey begin anew.

Anonymous | 2:18 PM

Still SO Excited for you! Been refreshing and refreshing to see more pics. I know it is emotional dealing with NICU but so grateful they are doing good. Bo and Rev. So beautiful. I am thinking of you and all the kids. My oldest girl Caden is so much like Archer and she had to wait a bit to see her younger sis Finley so I totally get that. My c-section hurt very badly too. Sending healing vibes to you, my dear. xo, Missy

parentingwithpinot.com | 2:19 PM

Reading this post and seeing such brand new, beautiful tiny faces made my tear up with happiness. What beautiful names, beautiful girls, and an emotional post.
And then I got to your captions and I was laughing.

Wishing you well with your recovery and your new huge ass family.


http://www.parentingwithpinot.com

Opus | 2:29 PM

I remember when our youngest sister was born, 40+ years ago. I was 7 and our other sister was almost 5. We woke up in the middle of the night on a Saturday morning and all went to the hospital. Us kids weren't allowed upstairs, so we had to sit in the lobby under the firm gaze of an elderly nun who really wanted us to be still and quiet. We weren't. We read all the magazines. It was too early for Saturday morning cartoons to be on TV. Dad would occasionally pop out of the elevator and settle us down. Eventually our grandparents showed up, much to everyone's relief! My sister got to go to the farm with them for a week. I had to stay with dad because I was in school. As adults, we each discovered that we were jealous of the other for that week. Your older kids will have interesting memories of this time. Soon you will all be home together making new memories! Congratulations!

Erin O | 2:36 PM

I have never felt so torn as when my 2 year old son was at home with my mom and his dad and I was spending all day at the NICU with my daughter. Resting and taking it easy when going back and forth between my room and the baby's and then my home and the NICU was a joke. And it was so SO sad hearing everyone else's babies in their rooms and mine being empty.

The one good thing about the NICU (besides the wonderful nurses and care) was that it got my daughter on a schedule. She came home with that schedule and we were all thankful for it.

I know its so so hard, and you're in the thick of it, but you will all be together soon. When we were finally all home together, I took my daughter to bed with me and we didn't get out for three months. I needed time to heal and just be connected to her. It helped a lot.

Jenn | 2:39 PM

oh man, they are so incredibly adorably precious! So very happy for your family!!

Sarie | 2:51 PM

having a baby (or in your case babies) in the NICU is very hard. My youngest spent 61 days in the NICU after he was born 12 weeks early in January. Before you know it, they'll be home.

Sharon | 3:03 PM

my little lady was also born at 35 weeks, weighing in at 5lbs 6oz and she was able to come home with us 48 hours after her birth :) they only required a 4 hour NICU stay, we were lucky! She'll be 9 months in a few weeks and is close to 17lbs, no signs of having been early. I'm sure your little ones will do amazing once they come home too.
Oh Archer, that is the best big brother ever.

Jen | 3:18 PM

They're here!!!

I see Fable in both of them. They are adorable and beautiful. Looks like you're having fun with them already. Congratulations!

Rachael | 3:39 PM

Congratulations! They are so beautiful! :)

zen | 3:40 PM

Congratulations, R & B are just gorgeous (as are Archer and Fable!).

My son was born prem, weighing only 4 pounds and spent a month in the hospital. For the first week or so we were only able to hold him once or twice a day. Just heartbreaking to go home each day without him.

I'm sure those girls feel your family's love and each other's even when they are alone.

Archer is an amazing older brother and F, R and B are very lucky.

Sending you and the other families with babies in NICU all the best wishes from across the sea (from Australia).

ona | 3:41 PM

Beautiful girls!

My 2nd daughter spent 2.5 weeks in the NICU after her birth, and her 2 yr. old sister couldn't come in. It was SO HARD having to split time between my kids. 5 months later though, she is fine and we are all together, and it is wonderful. You'll be there in no time. Congratulations on your lovely family!

Andrea D | 3:57 PM

From a mom of 2 yr old triplets...

Oh sh*&$! I did forget to say..in addition to my congrats to you 3amazing ladies, don't sweat us reader-people, get some sleep..there may be tears, lots and lots of tears...and maybe some profuse sweating in your future. It WILL pass eventually.

I seemed to think the extra hormones, fluid retention, and loss of sleep made even 24 hours of NICU time, even very expected NICU time very, very difficult.. and my delirious, drugged butt was just not that resilient to stress... I know it doesn't compare to folks who have weeks and weeks and months in the NICU, but it is STILL hard to be separated from these lives you carried inside for the last 8 months! And I didn't have any kiddos to try to verbalize about in any controlled emotional way...just adults that wonder why you're not giddy 24/7 even though you can't hold your babies when you want, feed them how you want, and you have fluids of all sorts coming out from all directions.

My kiddos are doing fab now, but the 24 hrs that my 2 boys were in and the 2 weeks my girl was in, were still tough tough tough. My last day in I cried all day, amazed to bring my boys home with me, and heartbroken to leave my girl there. It's hard. You will eventually be home, but it is hard when you're there now. You don't have to make light of it for us but it does sound like your brilliant humor is helping you work through the hours a little bit easier.

If you turn into a pile of tears every couple hours (or minutes or whatever it takes), it's okay, you are DEFINITELY not alone in that experience. And if peeps look at you weird for crying, whatevs, HELLO??!?, you just brought two, amazing beautiful girls into this world!!

Sending LOVE and HUGS and all my wishes for STEADY progress for the R and B and mama! And maybe even helpful, healthy, cooperative boobs as long as I'm wishing...

GOOD LUCK MAMA!

Ames | 4:02 PM

Oh Rebecca,
I know that I am not supposed to say that I know how you feel, because of course, I don't know exactly how you are feeling, but I have been there. My 4th had to be in the NICU too and it was so hard for me to be alone in the room with just that breast pump (that I swear I heard saying mean things to me while pumping) and the older boys didn't get to hold their baby brother in the hospital and we would just hang out in the room sometimes and baby was missing the whole time. I hope your breast pump is not being rude to you and you will all be home together soon. xoxo

emily bilbrey | 4:23 PM

OMGOMGOMGOMG THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!!!

i'll keep it short, even though i'm squeeing my pants with happiness for you:

MUCH LOVE to you and yours. you are amazing. hope you're recovering as well as possible, and that all six (SIX!) of you are reunited under one roof asap, just living and laughing and cuddling and loving. adore you, mama! also, the girls' names are so awesome i can hardly freaking stand it.

XOXOXO!!!!!

lisafoose | 4:28 PM

OMG!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!! They are just beautiful and perfect. SO sorry for a pit stop in the NICU but did I mention they are perfect????? And Rev (I think) looks so much like a baby picture of Fable. So happy for you and your family of 6 now. If you need any new post-birth twin tips, lmk. LJF

hivaleria | 4:38 PM

God bless you guys! I appreciate so much how candid you are about the whole thing. Sending lots of good thoughts and well wishes your way!

KK and M&M | 4:59 PM

Just to let you know we had our princess at 24 weeks, spend 115 days in the NICU. SHe's been home for one and half months and doing tremendously. The time flies by. The best advice I can give you is this; don't dwell on it. If your NICU has a support group join it. Talk to other parents around you. You are by no means the only one that's been in the NICU and you won't be the last. Just focus on the positives of how the girls are doing each day. Oh, and do document with pics everyday!! It's so cool to look back and see the amazing progress they have made.

Barb @ getupandplay | 5:06 PM

Beautiful, darling babies! They are even a little bit chubby, especially for preemies! I'm so happy that they are here and doing so well. I'm so sorry for the gigantic suck that is being separated. Hang in there.

Sharni | 5:21 PM

Congratulations on your beautiful babes. I have been reading and following silently for a long time. How could I remain silent now? Beautiful. Enjoy beautiful/crazy times present and ahead.

Anonymous | 5:23 PM

Such beautiful little babies! Yay for you!

Lilac | 5:37 PM

For someone who speaks French, is Jewish and awaiting to be a Tantie (Auntie) for the 5th and 6th time (my sister is expecting boy/girl twins)---the magic of your babies' names gives me goosebumps!

Faites des "Bo Rev" indeed!

Mazal Tov on your babies!

The Best of Here | 5:46 PM

Congrats! So happy for you! You make crazy hormonal new Mommy cool! (I was there a few months ago and did not have spirit and humor you have already)... Best if luck and remember that each week gets easier!

Sascha | 5:56 PM

I want to read all the comments to see how many people think that Bo looks like you and Rev looks like Hal. It's amazing!

I know you don't really "do" Holiday cards, but for the sake of your friends and family you need to do one every year just to write all those lovely names!

Natalie | 6:10 PM

Oh NICU time was so hard for me too! But your babies look great. They seem so tiny and fragile but they're big and strong, and you won't be apart for very long.

*hugs* on the hormones too. It's more with two babies I'm told (I was pretty overwhelmed by everything while my babies were in NICU).

Keep your chin up and rest as much as you can.

(oh poor Archer! Hang in there!)

Robyn | 6:10 PM

Is it possible to be in love with two babies I've never met whose mother I've never met? The internet is awesome for that shit. Also awesome: Your family and every single one of its kickass names. Congratulations!

Cori | 6:43 PM

My now 3 year old was 2 months early and spent 3 weeks in the NICU after an emergency C section. I know it is beyond painful and frustrating but just know that soon it will all be a distant blur. Best of luck to all of you.

sara. no h. | 6:59 PM

C-section tip: belly bandit is a huge help in recovery. And, a rocking chair will be the easiest to get in and out of. The up and down will be the worst part. But, you kick lots of ass and will kickmthe c-sections ass,, too.

Bitter Betty | 7:01 PM

I am so happy for you! Well for the giving birth part...Those little girls were rock stars in the womb and they will be rock stars out of the womb! I'll bet you'll all be home together in no time!Just try to move as much as possible, it will help (and it will help you be able to go, um, well, you know...#2...) I love, love the names, but then, you are a master at picking the most amazing names!
Keep your head up!

Nicole | 7:03 PM

They're so beautiful. Congratulations. I am thrilled for you.

Beth | 7:12 PM

Congrats, they are beautiful! I'm so, so sorry about having to deal with the NICU, C-section pain, hormones and breast pumps. Been there with a preemie and it's totally overwhelming. Kangaroo as much as you possibly can! It will help all of you.

They are amazing and I hope you all are home together soon! Best wishes.

Aimee | 7:52 PM

They are gorgeous! Keeping you all in my prayers and can't wait for you all to be home together...so we can see pics of all the kiddos together! :)

Sara | 7:54 PM

Oh oh oh! Darling babies!
So much love to all six (SIX!!!) of you. Love and more love.

Chris | 7:59 PM

Your girls are beautiful!!! Congratulations!!

Alison | 8:00 PM

Beautiful, beautiful, congrats.

After my c, the midwife said I should never be in pain, and if I was, they weren't treating me properly, FWIW. Drugs.

Martini Mom | 8:41 PM

Oh my god, I can't stand it. They are precious and beautiful and magnificent. I love them. Is that weird? For a total stranger to love your babies? Probably. But really, can you blame me? I mean, have you seen them?! They are to die for.

Nice job, mama. Well played. Well played indeed.

Kathryn | 8:43 PM

Welcome to your new little loveys, and congratulations to your whole brood! Especially Archer - he's got to be the best big brother a girl (or three) could ask for.

Jenny Rae Rappaport | 8:44 PM

I second all the people who say the c-section thing gets better.

Getting out of bed will suck--I did that on the evening of day 2.

By week 2, you'll feel well enough to think about no narcotic painkillers.

By week 3, you start to know your limits.

By week 4, your scar is not so terrible to look at; I have a medical phobia...

By week 6, you'll feel mostly normal, other than having two babies (I have a singleton) to take care of.

By week 9 (where I am now), you'll feel like you with a nifty purple scar. =)

The babies are beautiful!

Magdalena Edwards | 8:47 PM

Dear Rebecca,
NICU is not fun - even if your child(ren) has (have) something as straight-forward as being born completely healthy, but a little early. Our older boy was born with a heart defect we had no clue about until he was 2 days old - I thought we were going to be sent home and they took him away to the NICU to "stabilize" him and transport him to a larger hospital with a higher level NICU. He had heart surgery when he was 8 days old (he is now 3 1/2 and under regular supervision with his cardiologist). We didn't get to take him home until he was one month old. When things calmed down, I was able to explain to people how awful, how scary it was not to be able to take our son home with us when we expected and wanted to, not to be able to hold him in our arms, not to be able to breastfeed him. (I logged SO MANY hours in the "pumping room" down the hall from the NICU.) Not to be able to say goodnight to him curled up next to me in bed, but to say goodnight and then go elsewhere, in my case leave the hospital and go to our apartment that felt eerie, empty, incomplete. And as I told people about this, I realized how many mothers and fathers go through this wrenching experience of having your child taken from you, for obviously necessary reasons, hooked up to machines and poked and prodded and measured and monitored - when all you want is to have him or her home in your arms, in the arms of your spouse and parents and other beloveds. I just want to tell you that I understand the emotions - the craziness - and I can only imagine the added intensity of Archer and Fable wanting their sisters home with them too. The days will pass, but oh I understand that every hour, every minute, will be at times excruciating and you will want to kidnap your babes and take them where they belong. Lots of love, Magdalena

Callune | 8:55 PM

I am so happy for you and your family! Your two new little girls are adorable. I hope you're all home together very soon!

Shasta | 9:03 PM

Welcome to the world, R&B. We're all so excited that you're here!

Ergonomic Chair | 9:25 PM

Birth of a child is definitely worth celebrating! Your child is lovely and very fragile! Congratulations!

flyrish | 9:50 PM

You are amazing, mama! I love that you are keeping your sense of humor through such an emotional time. Bo and Rev are beautiful and I love that they have such individual looks to them. I feel like laughing and crying and going to hug my newborn baby girl after reading this. Lots of love to you all and hope you are all home together veryveryvery soon!

MLE | 9:53 PM

I am crying with joy for you. Many, many people have been waiting for this incredible moment for your family and I am thrilled to see that everyone is so healthy and just...fucking gorgeous. Much love xoxo

ChefSara | 10:02 PM

Hang in there! Being discharged from the hospital before my son was horrible! I hope your NICU stay is short as can be and you'll all be home together soon.

Anonymous | 10:20 PM

Thank you for letting us strangers out here in the world be part of your life. I have followed your entire pregnancy and feel like a friend even though . . . Hang in there. This little bump (no pun) will be over soon, it's hard but it's temporary. Temporary. In the meantime, your friends out here are holding your hand and sending you lots of love. You done good.

Anonymous | 10:25 PM

Congratulations to your lovely family! The girls - and their names - are just beautiful. Thanks for sharing your journey.

Donna | 11:11 PM

I've never posted but have been reading your blog for a while. But I had to comment this time because Archer just broke my heart *sniff*

The girls are beautiful and such perfect additions to your wonderful family. I hope you'll all be home together very soon.

Katie of Cabbage Ranch | 8:51 AM

Our daughter was in the NICU for her first few days, too. It wasn't easy on us, but she came home perfect and yours will, too. Hang in there! Your girls are gorgeous!!! (And their names? I just died, I love them so much. Genius.)

Lolo | 9:43 AM

First of all, CONGRATS!!! You made it and what a haul it was! This is my 1st time chiming in although I was turned onto your blog several weeks ago by a former high school friend of yours that I work with. He recommended I check it out because we both share a love of reading and he thought I'd appreciate your writing, but above all because I'm pregnant with TWINS too. These will be my first 2 babies, most likely fraternal, that is what runs in my mother's side.
It has been inspiring and sometimes frightening to read your blog through this experience. I now am only 16 weeks. To think you were so carrying so much at the end there and they were still born early, scares me slightly, I plan on working as long as I can (at trader Joe's), which may be dillusional...
anyhoo, Your children are beautiful and you are so fortunate to have such a supportive unit! I fist though to tell you Bo, Rev, in pronunciation means sweet dreams but you already knew, HOW CUTE!
I have so many questions, I'll ask later. =)
Many thanks for your writing and the best of luck in this adventure, especially right now at the hospital. I=

Dani | 10:49 AM

Oh biliruben blankets, you just brought me right back to when my little guy was born early and was too tiny to eat. Sigh, what an emotional time! And I didn't have this awesome older brother in tears cause he couldn't see the new babies! Holy crap! Talk about perfect storm for tears! They are so precious though! Prayers you all get to go home soon!!!

Evi | 1:12 PM

Many blessings to you and your beautiful family.

bridgetstraub.com | 4:07 PM

First off they are too beautiful for words, and Archer, poor baby. I could cry just thinking about it and seriously, what's my excuse? My baby is eleven and I've never actually met any of you, so I should get over it and offer you words of wisdom. Hmmmm and those would be? Hang in there. My second was in NICU for only a day but my niece, also born 5 weeks early, was there for ten. She was smaller than Bo and Rev however, so don't panic. Still I know how maddening it is to be away from them, but you really will all be together soon. Much love and gratitude for allowing all of us to share in your life.
PS that niece is now 25 and great!

Christina | 5:28 PM

Congrats! What a beautiful brood. Continued blessings to you and your amazing family and thank you for sharing your journey with us.

Xox

janenoir | 9:06 PM

The girls are gorgeous, and I LOVE the names. I'm a teacher, and with it being the beginning of the school year, I hadn't been able to get online this past week to read your blog. I was ecstatic to see that you'd delivered safely and that you and the girls are safe and healthy! Congratulations momma tres!

Sarah | 6:48 AM

Love the cell phone convo! And Boheme's lips! Gorgeous girls, so gorgeous. Congrats!

Ray | 10:43 PM

My heart is aching and I don't know why. Love your Bo and Rev already. Love your family. Congrats, congrats, congrats, again.

I hope the girls are out of the NICU soon, so you can go home and start family life. All 6 of you. ;o)

whoorl | 4:44 PM

Waiting to go home from the NICU is so draining. The back and forth, the breast milk peddling, the wanting to be together as a family...oh Bec, I remember and it sucks. (It's particularly killing me that the girls aren't in the same room. DISLIKE THAT SITUATION VERY MUCH.)

Keep your chin up and know that you all will be home very soon. xoxo

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