Thirty-Four Weeks

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So, I'm still pregnant. This is something I regularly explain slash text slash say on the phone to various people. As if I wouldn't be texting while tweeting while skywriting my labor news across the Los Angeles skies. FRIENDS. FAMILY. I will notify you with news! I will! You will know me by my trail of information!

In the meantime, this was one of the more eventful weekends. First off, I bought a diaper bag. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. I bought a mother fucking diaper bag. And it's adorable. And I will post about it later, when I can take some really styled-out black and white photos of the bag hanging from a tree covered in lights beside a birdcage filled with bacon. (I hate birdcages, by the way. And I don't eat bacon.)

We also bought a new car. Finally. We have been procrastinating like crazy mofos for months but we are now the proud owners of a Honda Odyssey (sans TVs). And I love it. I love that it's filled with car seats and holds six CDs, one for each family member so we can put that shit on random and mix it up on road trips.

Every time someone asks when I'm due I scream "RIGHT NOW, AHHHH!" and run waddle briskly towards the nearest exit. I am so massively huge that people routinely gasp. This never happened with my other two pregnancies even though I was humongous (I thought) in the end. A dude at the car dealership Saturday went, "OH MY GOD NO," when I walked past him in the hallway. Blogging out loud much?

I was with the car salesmen at the time who immediately got defensive and was like, "who says that, Man?" and then dude in the hallway felt bad and then I felt REALLY uncomfortable and was like, "it's cool! No worries! Let's buy some cars, men! We're all friends here! Three vaginas!"

I mean... how could I blame the guy? I am hilarious looking even to myself! I can only imagine what it looks like to see someone this pregnant chasing around two kids at a car dealership. It's probably scary as fuck! I am the poster child for condom-usage and proper family planning skills!
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And it's like that everywhere. At the Farmer's Market yesterday, I got an entire bag of pluots on the house. I mean, do you know how good pluots are right now? The man at the stand said he "hoped I felt better soon and PLEASE TAKE THESE OH GOD!" and then he hid his eyes behind his hands and did a thousand Hail Marys.

"I'm okay, friend! I'm okay!" I insisted but he was already down on his knees praying in Spanish.

Thanks for the pluots?

The other night at the movies, a woman insisted on letting me know that she was a midwife...you know, just in case you go into labor during act two of Our Idiot Brother (fantastic movie, by the way). I did not in fact go into labor. Nor have I this afternoon, which would be appropriate given today's moniker.

Anyway!

While I've been nesting, Hal's been researching television sets. Apparently ours isn't good enough because it's six years old and isn't the size of a California King. Apparently, because we were already spending a zillion dollars this weekend on a car, Hal figured, why not just rock some good-old-fashioned American excess? So after disappearing for four hours to "do some errands" he came home with fourteen boxes of Home Entertainment System including a fifty-five inch television set.

Eighteen hours after we purchased a car.

And a diaper bag. (Let us not forget the diaper bag.)

I mean... what the fuck is up with television sets and dudes? I liked our thirty-two inch TV. It was PLENTY big and it sounded plenty fine. Now? We have a television the size of our entire living room and I'm supposed to wear 3-D glasses while I'm watching it? I don't get it.

But here's the thing: I love Hal. And he's so excited about this idiotic TV so I have to be supportive. I have to say, "Awesome! 3-D glasses to watch Entourage with!" and sound like I mean it when I'm so full of complete and utter shit, you guys. Because the only thing worse than "E" getting out of his Maserati with suicide doors is seeing it in three dimensions.

I'm just going to assume that the man's form of "nesting" is stocking up on the essential items for never-leaving-the-house-again. Otherwise, why would he go out and buy a TV right now? I'm sure someone at Cambridge has done a study on this phenomenon.

Apparently, it is impossible to escape the allure of the television set. One must pick her battles in a marriage, one must. And I'd rather have one massive screen in our living room than a thousand tiny ones in my automobile.

Moving on... and Hal, if you're reading this, I love you. And I'm totally kidding about the TV. I think it's totally the coolest. High five. I love high definition blue ray 3-D 480 horsepower surround sound with dual impact 82PP.

At last week's weigh-in I was a lithe 202 pounds, which means I'm finally slowing down in the weight gain-department. I've gained a total of 64 pounds thus far which I'm pretty sure my body agrees is plenty-ish.
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My belly appeared to have dropped last week but it appears to KEEP dropping... as in, "passengers, we are slowly making our descent. Please fasten your umbilical cords and put your placentas in the upright position."

Still, as of Thursday I wasn't dilated, effaced and the babies still had more than enough amniotic fluid to grow on with their badass selves. Apparently I'm better at gestating twins than I am singletons. Something about this being a third pregnancy and my uterus being totally stoked to grow exponentially beyond its former experience. That and the fact that doctors are starting to think my due date might actually be wrong considering their measurements.

Thus and henceforth, I left my doctor's office Thursday with the knowledge that I could go into labor at any time. So? for twenty-four hours I had myself convinced that every kick and cramp and pain was a contraction and oh my god, we don't even have our car yet! The house is a mess! There is a baby sock MIA in the laundry room and I MUST FIND IT OR ELSE I'LL SURELY DIE! (Meanwhile, in Hal's brain: OH MY GOD, I MUST BUY A NEW GINORMOUS TELEVISION SET AND FOUR PAIRS OF 3D GLASSES THAT NO ONE BUT ME WILL WANT TO WEAR!)

To prepare for my impending C-section I have been watching C-section births on youtube like it's my job. Basically, I am training myself to be my own doula. After watching fifty or so C-sections I am now perfectly capable of being involved in my own birth experience even if they hang that giant sheet in front of my face, I'LL KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING SO THERE! I highly recommend you do the same, those of you with breach babies in your last few weeks of pregnancy. At first, you might vomit. But over time, the procedure becomes highly entertaining and almost beautiful. Anyway, thanks to all of you who have written with C-section advice. I have a bag packed full of stool softeners, granny underwear and a giant pillow for the drive home. Who says childbirth isn't sexy?
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Let's see, what else. Last week was kind of a bummer because I was on my pregnancy-period. freaking the fuck out over every little thing. Hal was working late nights (allll week) and I was left to fend for myself which (can I bitch for a moment?) is slightly shitty when you're this pregnant. I put the kids down and promptly burst into tears thinking there will be nights when I'll have four kids and be on my own and I don't know how I will possibly survive oh god what have I done with my uterus!

And then, because people are as good as angels, I opened my email to find the following passage from a poem by Rainer Maria Rilke, sent to me by a friend of my brother's named Mary. A woman I don't know personally but wish I did:

Here before you stands a full bowl of roses
which is unforgettable
and brimming

And she's right on, that Mary.

And he's (always) right on, that Rilke.

This bowl of roses is indeed unforgettable. And brimming. And I'm a lucky, lucky lady to experience such a thing...
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...even if it feels like tiny thorns are pressing into my sides.

The morning after I read Mary's email, I took this picture of my children. Two of the four. And then I asked Archer if he was ready for the babies to arrive. I told him I was getting nervous and wasn't sure that I was. His response, "Yeah. I'm not ready either but when they're born I will be. That's how these things work, mom."

I'm sure he's right.
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GGC

140 comments:

Anabelle | 1:58 PM

Oh my God, Rebecca, you look absolutely BIG and FABULOUS!!!!

I love your skirt and your "roundevine" belly!

Hang on girl!

Anonymous | 2:01 PM

I don't have any good advice or anything, all I have to say is good luck and I'm glad you're keeping your sense of humor :-) . Also, I think you'll grow to like the big TV.

Anabelle | 2:09 PM

I meant "roundivine" ;-) That's what happens when you make up a word ah ah!

Schmutzie | 2:10 PM

That Archer is a little sage, he is. Beautiful.

Anonymous | 2:15 PM

This has been amazing to read since week 9. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. And best of luck.

Tricia | 2:17 PM

For your friends and relatives who won't stop asking, you need this website:

http://haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com/

send them the link :)

ps. I think you look great

Tanya | 2:20 PM

The sun is shining this morning here in New Zealand and I sat avoiding work instead reading your beautiful post!
Archer is the MAN. It will be alright on the night! It IS how these things work.

You'll work it out and love it and smile and cry and laugh and just be amazed forever after at 4 beautiful children.
Road trips in awesome vehicle and home movies nights with awesome Hal TV :)

Life is Beautiful Miss Rebecca. Beautiful

lots of love and hugs.
Wish I was on your text lol turned the computer on looking for your post (its my Tuesday coffee lol) and thought huuh? quiet? ohhh. hmmm. and then Ah! there you are! Yay. Happy Week everyone.

parentingwithpinot.com | 2:21 PM

Pregnancy is da bomb. You look fab, and I cant wait to see photos of your new little baby girls.

Claire | 2:21 PM

That part about Entourage cracked my shit up!

Tanya | 2:23 PM

btw - it probably gets tiring sometimes but all the askig if you have had R & B yet is because
WE. ARE. ALL. SO. SO. EXCITED. ABOUT. IT.

REALLY. EXCITED.

loves xxx

KateFitz | 2:26 PM

HA! ohh the huge TVs...my husband bought a 3rd trimester out of nowhere huge TV. Fast forward a few years later my darling sister in law called me in tears because my brother had bought a 3rd trimester out of nowhere huge TV. It's totally a thing...you've confirmed it.

jessicpea | 2:27 PM

That sounds totally on the money about male nesting!

A small piece of c-section advice that I was given and worked really well, after a shower (when you find the time ;)) use a hairdryer on low about 20cm away to dry the wound properly. Stops it from staying wet and breaking down - plus it means your not touching it with anything to dry it.

Oh and good call on the stool softeners. So, so glamorous!

Amanda | 2:29 PM

you are amazing. truly. I look forward to these weekly updates so much - can't believe there are only a few more to go!

Amelia | 2:30 PM

You are so so gorgeous. Can I please just tell you how jealous I am about your lack of double chins? It seems like chins and ass is where every bit of baby weight went when I was pregnant. You look fantastic.

Steph(anie) | 2:31 PM

Archer sure is a smart guy.

I had two c-sections and it was easy peasy. I bounced back like a mofo.

Kim {Yep, they are all mine} | 2:32 PM

I freakin' love these weekly updates.

I can't wait to "meet" Rice and Beans!

Catherine | 2:35 PM

You look fantastic, babe! and here's my number one C-section word of wisdom...(and yes it involves poop). Fleets enema. One before (if you do end up with a scheduled one that is) and then, when you NEED it in a few days. TMI? Naw, you'll be good. :) I've had two (woot breech!) and looking at a third...I will survive. :)

Vanessa | 2:42 PM

If I saw you at the car dealership, I would (want) to say "rock on girlfriend, you look great!". And you do.

Kylie | 2:43 PM

You are on fire today, lady. I pretty much read my husband this entire post. You look amazing, by the way!

Lisa V | 2:51 PM

We had to buy the 3million inch tv last Christmas, because Bert didn't want Santa Claus to look cheap. Riight.

You look fabulous. You seem to enjoy both the beauty and spectacle of all of it. Good for you for seizing the experience. I think it's wonderful. I gave birth for the last time 13 years ago. It's hard to treasure pregnancy in the midst of it, but you will in memory.

Glenda | 2:54 PM

Rock on Rebecca. You look amazing! thanks for allowing us on this beautiful journey of yours. Best if luck, health and happiness to your entire beautiful family. Can't wait to read all about R&B. I'm sure there will be some overwhelming moments. Nothing I don't think you csnt handle. Just makes you a stronger mama.
XO

ButterflyMama | 2:56 PM

Your belly is beautiful. I've been following your pregnancy from over here in Australia - cos I am a week ahead of you in my third pregnancy too! Mines a singleton though. :)

BigMamaRhonda | 3:02 PM

Advice from a previous C-sectioner-

before you leave the hospital, ask your nurse to steal you some Steri-strips because a few days (or a week) after i had my staples removed, my incision site dehisced about 1.5 inches. it was GROSS. i guess i was doing more than i shouldve @ the time handling biz around the house and my wound reopened. it got slightly infected and had to wait a few days to see my MD again so he can surgi-glue it back together again. the end result was that the 1.5 inches of my scar ended up keloiding (waaaah) while the rest was a beautiful clean line. so ask for the steri strips (which they have easy access to and can easily steal-i know this cuz i am an RN myself) so that if yours does open up, you can reinforce that bitch yourself til your MD can fix it for you.

btw- i know a few women who this has happened to and pretty much the same thing- keloided ends on their scars. not purdy. Good Luck!!!!

Tiffany | 3:18 PM

Good Lordy. You look great. Good luck hun.

Peace, Love and Chocolate,
Tiffany

Sandi | 3:27 PM

My husband bought an enormous tv just after our babies were born because he figured, correctly, that we'd spend a ridiculous number of hours being up with babies so why not do that with an enormous tv?

You are looking fabulous! Keep cooking those babies :-)

Kate | 3:34 PM

You look fantastic ... I can't wait to see R and B and Archer is a true "Sage" what wisdom from one so young!
My after c section advice, and actuallly I'm thinking it would also help now!, is to get a "grabber" it helps picking up those tiny things that you can no longer reach!

Kate | 3:36 PM

You look fantastic ... I can't wait to see R and B and Archer is a true "Sage" what wisdom from one so young!
My after c section advice, and actuallly I'm thinking it would also help now!, is to get a "grabber" it helps picking up those tiny things that you can no longer reach!

Sam | 3:39 PM

You look beautiful, I think. Big twin belly and gorgeous!

Hope this week goes okay.

xo
P.S., checking your Twitter obsessively, haha.

Shay | 3:41 PM

Love that skirt!

My son says "Look at that belly!" Then remembered there are 2 babies in there and asked me if I'll have twins since 1 little sister isn't enough.

Jessicambay | 3:45 PM

Ha - my husband wanted to get a new TV this week too! Now I feel bad for saying no. I didn't realize it was his way of nesting. Oh well, I can blame it on the pregnancy hormones. :)

Anonymous | 3:46 PM

I used to call my mom the contraction police. I was like "Dude, I promise I won't wait till the baby is 3 weeks old to call you. CHILL!" :)

As far as your worries about having 4 kids some nights on your own. I had the same fears while pg with my 3rd (albeit a singleton :) I was ridONKulously uncomfy at the end and totally over it. I cried hysterically all day one day thinking, "How will I do this with 3 kids? This is a nightmare! Why, why, why?!" Then I realized that when I was mothering my 3 children? I would not ALSO be pregnant! You'll feel better as soon as those babes are born...and Archer - as always - is absolutely right. You'll all get used to it together! Much love and luck for a safe delivery. Desparate to hear R&B's full names!!! xo

AUSAcara | 3:49 PM

You look fantastic!!!

I found your blog back in January, and spent a few weeks (...maybe a month or so...) catching up on all of your past posts (beautiful by the way, you're a fantastic writer!).
And then, I found out I was pregnant. And then, I found out you were pregnant.
It's been great fun to take this journey with you - my husband even calls you my "friend." "Has your friend given birth yet?" And the funny thing? I know exactly who he means.
xo Cara

Anonymous | 4:02 PM

Thank you so much for sharing these photos and your writing with everyone. I've been reading your blog since before Fable was born. You're fantastic (and an inspiration).

whoorl | 4:27 PM

So wise, that Archer.

You are a machine, Bec! The Queen of Multiples! 34 weeks pregnant with twins and still hot! You look so great, but seriously, how is your body holding up? I want to come over with some sort of sling, wrap it under your gorgeous belly and hoist it upwards to give you some relief.

I can't believe the twins are going to be here so soon!!! AHHHHHHHH.

Daisy | 4:49 PM

Can you take photos of your c-section? My husband stood up and took a heap of pics over the screen. It was an emergency section and I was pretty out of it. It was great to look at the pictures afterwards and feel a bit more connected to the birth.

Rachel | 4:50 PM

Rebecca you look beautiful!!! I had to have an emergency c-section after a 2 day induction. It was a surprise and I was exhausted. Make sure you get some food into you, when they allow it. The pain meds took away my appetite and in all the excitement I didn't eat enough and got real weak. Remind Hal to force you to eat when you can. I can't wait to see the sweet littles!!

robyn L. | 4:50 PM

1. I gave birth to my singleton at 34 weeks. There's hope for you yet! :)

2. You chose the perfect middle name for Archer.

Sabrina | 4:52 PM

I love Archer and all his wisdom at such a young age! I've had 2 c-sections and they aren't too bad. It hurts after but you'll see your body will adjust to that discomfort aswell.

Lauren | 5:07 PM

A friend introduced me to your blog recently, and I love these progress posts. I'm 12 weeks behind you (with twins), so it's nice to see what's coming. :) Congrats on reaching 34 weeks!

Trisaratops | 5:10 PM

You look absolutely gorgeous. And I swear, that Archer always brings a tear to my eyes!

Can't wait to "meet" R and B!

Anonymous | 5:16 PM

I love reading these updates! With my second child my husband bought a third trimester out of the blue screen and projector to watch TV on. You don't need to see any show life sized ever! But he thought you did. I cannot wait to meet these babies!!! Keep writing.

ste | 5:23 PM

I've had two c-sections. (One closed with steri-strips and one with glue on top of stitches - both were great.) For the second one, I took some friends advice of using a binder/girdle and I'm so glad I did. It made it much easier to move around when I first started to, especially when I had a little girl who wanted me to snuggle her.

BookishPenguin | 5:28 PM

I read everything you write and this is one of the funniest things you have ever written. Okay, the spirit of it is that you're nervous/scared/still (?!) pregnant, but still - hysterically funny.

And my goodness, Archer Sage. How does he have such wisdom, always? It's beautifully stunning.

HannahJ | 5:29 PM

You are an amazing, entertaining, witty woman!

Anonymous | 5:44 PM

You look fabulous, even though I'm sure you don't believe it when people tell you that. You really truly are all belly. Hang in there!

Molly | 5:46 PM

hahaha one of the funniest posts EVER. how could you not want to watch Entourage in 3D?! I also really like that the new media system appeared right after nixing TV in the car--so perfect somehow :) You look really lovely in that outfit, by the way.

I just want to say, yes, you are clearly looking unusually pregnant, but I just remember my aunt who had TWO sets of twins in her life, and those just reallllly insane photos of her right at the end of her pregnancies are some of my favorites, her looking so proud and full of life. She's passed away now, and I love remembering her like that.

Also, my grandma had 11 kids and still kicks ass in her 90s. You can totally do 4 and it's going to be awesome.

Heidi | 5:57 PM

Oh, wise little Archer! He nailed it.

I did get to do the "I'm due right now!" thing to a total stranger in the hospital elevator while I was in labor. It was early on so I was still keeping my cool, and this lady asked me "When is the baby supposed to arrive, dear?" and I was all "Hopefully in a few hours because I'm in labor right now". She *bolted* once those doors opened on her floor, let me tell you.

Whitney | 5:59 PM

Holy belly.

Anonymous | 6:00 PM

Reading your pregnancy posts each week fills me with so many emotions. I wish I could be pregnant again to see all the beauty, humor and awesomeness that is pregnancy. Unfortunately, both of my pregnancies involved vomiting the entire time and medication to keep from vomiting and weight loss (which is great until I start to gain weight like crazy). You are absolutely beautiful. That pictures of your belly straight on is pretty daunting. I think you may need a special thing to hold that belly up pretty soon or it'll start just falling. All kidding aside, you look wonderful. I am totally jealous of your ability to be pregnant and be gorgeous!

Zoe | 6:36 PM

I think Archer must be a philosopher/guru/Jedi disguised as a 6 yr old boy. He's an old soul, that one. Please tell me he enjoys a good poop joke as much as Fable does.

You look bee-yoot-i-ful!!!! And ready. Oh so ready (just like me exactly one year ago when I was 38 weeks pregnant with #3). Sending you love and best wishes from Tennessee. Can't wait to meet R&B!!!!

April | 6:50 PM

I love Archer. He's so wise. Is it weird to love a complete stranger? I hope not too weird.

Also, wow. Your face looks really different! I never noticed "pregnancy face" until you pointed it out in another post, and it's totally true! I guess it's just another crazy part of pregnancy. You still look gorgeous though, of course. :)

Erika | 6:51 PM

Whhat?? You can actually buy a mini-van without tvs? Congrats! And looking good. I just found your blog and I'm thrilled.

Whitney | 6:55 PM

34 weeks!! Yay! And you look absolutely beautiful! I have 5 week old twin boys and delivered them at 36 weeks and 4 days by c-section because one was breech and the other teansverse. The last month of my pregnancy was so physically hard on me that I honestly felt so much better after the c-section just because I wasn't pregnant anymore. Can you believe you will have those little ones in 4 weeks or less?!?! It is so amazing! I cannot wait to see pictures of your two precious girls!

Maggie | 7:37 PM

SO funny that you'd begin with the whole "Yup, STILL pregnant" vein, because something shifted this weekend in the universe. I have officially begun checking GGC 4-5 times a day because all of a sudden, over here on the east coast, my brain decided it was time. I'm happy for you that you're still rocking the tri-vaginas, as you get your last items checked off your "holy shit" list, but I'm going to have to go with Archer on this one. He's such a wise soul (Maybe he should be your doula!) Much love from Boston, and truly, thank you for being so honest, and brave, and so GD real through all of your experiences. You've got quite a crowd in your corner rooting for you and your family!

(Also, I took some advice from WWW this week and stocked my cousin's freezer - a new mother herself, with many of the things that she said she'd be making for you. The stuffed peppers were a hit! Thanks ladies!)

rosiewiklund | 8:07 PM

I am sure you've seen it, but this was a very cool video I saw about c-sections.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5RIcaK98Yg
best wishes to you mama. I LOVE your blog.

Cynthia | 8:09 PM

you are a badass

Adventures In Babywearing | 8:27 PM

Dude, you are having TWINS!!!!

Steph

Robyn | 9:14 PM

we came home with Owen on Friday (yay, by the way!), and approximately thirty seconds later (or on Monday) my husband bought a new television and surround sound system.

also, c-sections are amazing - had one myself, and i'm telling you what. i'd send you my OB, she's that good of a surgeon, if i could ship her from omaha without her objecting!

and the granny panties - a must for that c-section spot. they're hilariously un-sexy, but definitely worth every single penny!

i'll be thinking of you these next few weeks for sure!

carrie | 9:28 PM

You look beautiful! Keep on rocking it, baby.

hoppytoddle | 9:31 PM

Sage little man, there. But you knew that!

& yes on the roses. Lovely sentiments.

Had to say that when I was about to have our first kid my husband went out and bought THREE rental properties. Uh huh. He did. No, he didn't tell me. & yes, we are still married & do have another child. Which leads me to the 1967 Lincoln Continental Convertible in our garage. Yes, the same car in the intro to Entourage. Because they can fit lots of people yet are cooler than a minivan? I don't know, either!

Good luck, Buttercup. Hope all goes well. Looking forward to the next post, even if there aren't new babes in it!

Anonymous | 9:50 PM

You look so sweet, and the skirt is fabulous!

Also, I may pass Archer's wise words to my bff, who is expecting her first. He is so a Sage.

flyrish | 10:00 PM

Oh, how I love you and your pregnancy updates! I feel like I can relate more and more every week, and you give me some much-needed perspective. I so feel you on freaking out when you're fending for yourself and super pregnant. My husband's form of nesting is spending as much time working on a French drain on the side of our house as possible while I waddle around after my Tasmanian devil of a 2-year-old. But you have two kids and two babes baking, so mad props to you, lady. Also, so sick of Braxton Hicks. Labor blue balls, ugh.

Lisa | 10:22 PM

Gosh, I am SO excited for you! You look so beautiful and I think the responses from people are hilarious. Especially from men... Keep on rocking it!

johnmayersquare | 11:05 PM

You look awesome...how do you have no stretchmarks???? I'm 100% jealous of that!

And totally agree with the hairdryer on the "area" ...you definitely need to keep it dry after you shower each day :) You'll do fine and can't wait to hear the names of the two babes!

Your escalator operator | 11:16 PM

You're awesome.

Also, as a ginormous TV-loving dude (er, that is, I love HDTVs that are ginormous; I myself am regular sized), your high-five and other italicized comments for Hal cracked me up, LOLz style.

Also, Archer always nails it, doesn't he?

And, sending many many good thoughts your way.

Anonymous | 12:01 AM

You look beautiful. <3

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? | 12:58 AM

You look amazing.

When we moved into our new home, and I was packing up our old home, my husband went off and bought the biggest television ever.

He spent the whole of moving day installing it and fiddling with it. That TV may have caused a few arguments as I sobbed into packing boxes in the kitchen.

The humongous TV is still the talk of our new neighbours who must have heard me screaming like a banshee.

annabelvita | 6:02 AM

Oh man, I just love you so much. This post made me laugh so hard.

My boyfriend will totally buy a "nesting" tv, haha.

I saw a c-section on TV yesterday and, you're so right that it can be just as beautiful. The mama was crying so hard (good tears).

Can't wait to "meet" R&B!

Jesse | 6:14 AM

your son's advice is the best thing i've heard yet. i'm only having one baby, but i will keep that in mind:)

Jen | 6:21 AM

Congrats on the van- we just got ours last week (twins 1 month old)... I thought we needed it for our our 3, but you definitely do. Hilarious about the tv... my husband set up a whole media server w/ hundreds of movies/ shows before our guys were born-- we're not even big tv/movie watchers. men are funny.

Anonymous | 6:58 AM

Such a wonderful, funny post ... This pregnancy has certainly not altered your fabulous gift for writing. I love the honesty, the grace, and the fully intact sense of humor. Amazing, mama!

Mama | 7:10 AM

I had 3 C-sections and my advice (probably similar to others) is ask for help and let others help you. I sometimes would get frustrated that I couldn't do things... sit and enjoy the Twinkles! Never be with out an ice pack and be religious with your stool softeners... I was never so go at it and paid dearly for it. Try to rearrange your room to make it c-section friendly. I kept my babes in bed with me so when night time feedings came I didn't have to get up or out of bed. My husband ended up sleeping on the couch for a while. If he got good sleep on the couch it was easier for him to function during the day when I needed to nap. For what it's worth, I wouldn't try to go to their rooms in the middle of the night for feedings. Bassinets or baskets in your room may make it easier. Best of luck to you and your family. I CAN NOT WAIT to see the pictures of R & B!!!

Noelle | 7:37 AM

You are beautiful. Love that big baby belly!

Roxanna (Miguelina) | 7:46 AM

You make me want to have twins. XOXO

loodles | 7:55 AM

My husband did the same exact thing, bought a giant-assed tv before our third was born! At first I was totally thinking WTF man? But then I looked at some of my own insane nesting behavior( lining uplaying out outfit upon outfit for my unborn child, organizing my kids toys into insane categories no one else would ever grasp, writing list after list) and thought that I ought to allow him to exercise some control over the insane process of integrating a new member into the family. Still it is funny how to some in the XY crowd control equals electronic purchases.

Dragana | 8:27 AM

I am so glad you are laughing at your self so I can say it now - I cracked up with your last week's blog, but this is beyond crazy pregnant :)
I am sorry, but when your pic flashed before my eyes, they were full of tears.. from laughing, from thinking of myself pregnant, from admiration, and from sympathy :)
You are a planet and I LOVE you. You should be so proud of your self for making it glamorous, beautiful, and bearable to be pregnant for the rest of us. If I ever hear another women complain about the pregnancy, I ask for a permission to carry your beautiful pics around and tell them 'shot the hell up you pussy'. What is more amazing, you did not gain much if any weight elsewhere. It is all that planet of a belly.
I know nothing can make you feel better at this time (except maybe floating in the pool) but for what ever is worth, you are an inspiration and you are amazing.

Love,
D

Amy | 9:01 AM

You are hilarious, and that skirt is fantastic, and that poem is perfect. Best of luck to all three of those vaginas.

Lindserannie | 9:22 AM

1) You look SO great.
2) I love, love, love that skirt.
3) I admit I wondered more than once if R&B would make their debut over the weekend (I feel weird wondering these things about a person I don't know personally - though you are oh so personal & personable that I feel as if I do know you...eesh...whatever, I like it).
4) I get nervous with every new photo of you standing so close to the edge of that step. OK, so maybe not "so close"...but sometimes it looks so close. Stay safe, lady!

renee | 9:30 AM

I'm glad you got the car. I was actually worried that you would go into labor and Hal would have to go score one really quick to get you home.

And I think I missed the post where you took guesses on the girls' names, but they're Ramona and Beezus, right?

Leslie | 9:36 AM

You look AMAZING. :) Can't wait to meet these babies and find out what R and B stand for!

Amber S | 9:47 AM

I can't believe how consoling it is to read your words! I'm scared as hell about having twins with a toddler. I know I'm not alone...

lisafoose | 10:05 AM

you still look FABULOUS!!!! Keep growing those babies. And I am very proud of you that you look at the numbers on the scale. I am
5'7" - usually around 137/140 lbs -after I outweighed my 6'3" husband when pg with my twins, I just stopped looking and to this day I have no idea how many pounds OVER 200 I weighed at the bitter end. But it was A LOT (even my face was overweight...lol!!). Enjoy the diaper bag (and the TV!)

Dana | 10:06 AM

Beautiful. You're just beautiful! And Archer is a little man who speaks the truth.
After the twins come and you're walking around with the four (I call mine the circus), every last person you see will stare at you - mouths usually agape - and say it looks like you have your hands full.
"How do you manage?" they'll ask.
You just do.

Mrs. Q. | 10:14 AM

You look divine. And I'm horrified that you've gained the same weight as I did with my first pregnancy. With ONE baby.

heather | 10:29 AM

You look beautiful! I'm 30 weeks along (with one - more power to you with the two!) and last night as I'm reading this post my husband informed me he's researching big screen TVS. WTF!! Our television works just fine and he's already freaked out about finances when I'm on maternity leave. Anyway, nice to know it's something normal that guys go through.

Keep up the good, growing work Mama!

sherewin | 10:43 AM

You are so beautiful! You're starting to talk about the C-section, and I was wondering if there is a chance you'll avoid C-section if the babies are head down before you go into labor. Or, is C-section pretty much the name of the game at this point?

Whitney | 11:02 AM

Rebecca, you are my hero. I am sitting here 30 weeks pregnant and freaking out because my husband is in grad school and someone recommended we take out a life insurance policy. Life is crazy, but everything prepares us for the next step. You look amazing.

PopMommy Pam | 11:11 AM

You look amazing and I'm so excited for the news! Go, Mama! That pic of your kids is just beautiful too.

Sarah | 11:21 AM

You look amazing! My advice after a c-section, once you get home make sure you have lots of icepacks in the freezer. I had some nerve pain at the incision spot (hopefully you are nerve-pain free!), and holding ice to it made walking so much easier.

Glad you have your mom there to help, too! Happy almost-birthing day!

Elizabeth | 11:39 AM

I would just like to add to the eleventy million other comments about how beautiful you look Bec! It's amazing to me how slender your arms, legs, and neck are, FO' REALZ. You are rocking every week of this pregnancy like you have a stylist/hair/makeup team making the magic happen. I too, am checking in several times a week to get my R&B updates and GGC hilarity fix. I've even been telling people that have never read your blog all about your progress "like it's my job" LOL.

mommica | 11:44 AM

Archer: Boy Genius. Love it.

Melinda (Sew-Lin) | 11:47 AM

You look amazing and I love your skirt!

Archer however is a little man wise beyond his years. Either you are a naming genius (Sage) or people really just are their name. I'm leaning toward naming genius. If I have another baby, I totally want you to pick his or her name!

I'm sending you all sorts of positive vibes for those babies. Like everyone, I can't wait to see their precious little faces.

CFG | 11:48 AM

You look amazing! And you're almost there. Good luck with these last few weeks (or days, as the case may be).

Do you mind if I ask where you got your maternity shirt? Looks comfy and stylish.

And speaking of, I know you didn't like the "copy and paste" onesies, but I saw a kid wearing this "red rice and beans" shirt the other day and it made me think of R and B.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/7680855/red-beans-and-rice-toddler-t-shirt-funny

Ellen | 11:59 AM

Wow. Just wow.

Mom101 | 11:59 AM

So I'm verging on tears as I always am reading your posts, but then Archer's comment puts me over. I just love knowing that an amazing mama is going to be raising more amazing kids. Even if you feel like a human beach ball in the process.

I'm here following the trail of info. Much love, my friend.

Jack's Mama | 12:27 PM

Watching c-section youtubes is a brilliant idea! I had a c section that totally caught me by surprise mentally. I was all prepared to dialate and all the steps of labor never even thought what it might be like to have a c-section so I was definitely startled and surprised. I don't know why i read every book about labor but seemed to skip over the c-section parts-or they really do a poor job on educating women about that exit route. The baby(ies) have to get out some how! My babe at 9lbs 13oz pretty much had no chance exiting through my narrow manly hips. I can't believe you have over 10lbs of babies inside of you! My mom had 12lb 6oz of babies inside of her with me and my twin sis, you can do it!

Cindy | 12:48 PM

I don't normally comment here. First of all, you are beautiful (even though you may not feel like it). Secondly, we don't have children and my husband constantly begs for a Honda Odyssey. Now I think I know why. It's so he'll have something to haul a fifty two something ginormous TV in.

nicole | 12:51 PM

You look fantastic.

And that Archer, he is a wise one!

Karlee | 1:21 PM

I just found your blog and I have to say I am laughing and crying along as I read this post. I am 12 weeks pregnant with twins, I have a 10.5 month old baby boy and a husband who works long hours and away from home. I have had a few meltdowns already and I can only imagine how I will feel when I am 34 weeks!

So thankful I've found this blog and I am going to go and read your previous posts :)

Anonymous | 1:23 PM

Here's my advice for post c-section - prunes. all natural and they work so better than stool softeners. trust me.

Sarah@PingsAndNeedles | 1:24 PM

I have been following all 34 (so far) weeks of your pregnancy with and laugh out loud delight and the occasional weepy tear too ...

I just wanted to wish you a safe and lovely birthing experience ... good luck! can't wait to see those two R&B vaginas in the outside world (that sounds so wrong)

sending love from the UK

Nicole | 1:31 PM

haha yes I do believe that, that is the way men 'nest.' And because you love him you'll wear your 3-D glasses (okay.. probably only once haha).

You look amazing! I know you probably don't feel it but you look it!

PS.. pretty sure your son is a genius

Not Quite What I Expected | 2:33 PM

You look amazing. An inspiration AGAIN. And may I be so gauche as to ask where you got that crazy-flattering top?

Signed,
A (just barely) pregnant compatriot

Not Quite What I Expected | 2:42 PM

And the skirt, too. Inquiring maternity-minded minds must know!

Wendy Woolf | 2:46 PM

Dear Not Quite What I Expected, I bought Rebecca that top at a store near us called Mabel's (maternity and baby stuff). http://www.babymabels.com/

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 2:50 PM

...and the skirt is from Anthro! I saw it on the sale rack a few weeks back, actually! I bought it back in February when I first found out I was pregnant and have been wearing it ever since. It has fit me since the beginning! Oh, Miraculous garment!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 2:53 PM

Oh! And the shirt is Olian. They make lots of great maternity items that double for nursing... that shirt is actually a maternity AND nursing top. Congrats on your pregnancy, mama!

Dani | 2:53 PM

1. Ok, you do look a tad shocking, but holy shit you are beauty-full!

2. Archer is like the coolest kid ever (next to my own kidlet of course). They always say some kids have "old souls" but I've never seen it so plainly as in that wise little guy!

3. After peeking over my shoulder several times while reading various posts of yours (and at first being quite concerned and a little frightened, until I explained), my 2 year old son now walks around sticking his belly out as far as he can and says "baby!" then tells people to say hi to the baby in his belly!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 2:54 PM

Also, thank ALL of you again for your kind words and love and solidarity. You make every week a pleasure to share... such badass amazing women you all are. Thank you for being here.

dietplaid | 2:58 PM

Archer's right. You can't be ready until it's THERE. I've been telling my mom about your twin pregnancy and she's been reminiscing about being pregnant with my younger brothers, something along the line of people afraid of her when she got towards the end. She says the plus side is that when someone you don't like approaches you you can fake contractions.

Momma Kitty | 3:01 PM

Oh, Rebecca, I so love you and your sense of humor through these tough final days of pregnancy. I was just there (baby girl is two weeks old as of tomorrow!) and I know how uncomfortable and overwhelming this time is. You are in such better spirits than I was. And you have double the load!! You are one inspirational momma!

And to reiterate what everyone else is saying: You look AMAZING. Those babes look good on you!

Keep up the hard work...you're so close...and I will anxiously be awaiting the post where we get to see those little angels' faces!

Anonymous | 4:00 PM

Are you gonna cut your bangs so you can see the babies when they're born?

lonek8 | 4:03 PM

you look beautiful and so uncomfortable! I've got you and another internet friend due any minute and I am on constant facebook/blog watch to see if any babies have arrived!

Also, I seriously have no idea what it is with men an tvs. My husband's dream is that someday we have matching tvs in all the rooms. Like it matters if the tv in the living room and the one in the playroom are the same kind. Nutso.

hang in there lady!

Holly Brousseau | 4:29 PM

I am laughing so hard right now. My baby is 11 weeks old and I too was the victim of some huge-ass, 3D television shopping this weekend. 3D makes me more nauseous than being preggers. I can't imagine why you need 3D, ever.

My two-cents on the c-section - the local before the spinal is the worst part. You have to be very still why you get this shot in your back - you know it is coming - and you want to jump - but you can't. Like the damn old school glaucoma test at the eye doctor that blows a puff of air in your eyeball. And do not venture on winding roads in the slick new minivan for a few weeks - it will feel like you are coming unhinged.

Woodstockgurl | 4:59 PM

You are fantastic! One more piece of C-section advice (like you need/want it) - Elevate your legs. Take advantage of the hospital bed and raise both your torso and legs. It's amazing how much pressure it'll take off your incision, and nobody EVER tells us this! Good luck and can't wait to see the critters when they arrive :)

Team Suzanne | 5:44 PM

I'm new here, didn't realize you were carrying twins until like the fifth picture--and it was touch and go, for me. I almost had my tubes tied before I got done reading. Then, upon realizing it was twins, I calmed down.

Seriously--you look young and healthy and strong. But still, the twins look heavy. How does your back cope?

Best of luck to your family!

Anonymous | 6:51 PM

You do look fab, but I seriously do not understand when women wish to have their babies early! It's dangerous if they are born early... doesn't the whole world know that by now? Twins should be carried to about THIRTY-EIGHT weeks. My friend just had her boy/girl twins at thirty nine weeks. The longer they stay in, the better off they will be, especially their lungs.

Lara + Chris | 6:57 PM

You are adorable. I read (or check) every day but rarely comment. Since you mentioned c-section advice, I figured I'd throw mine out there since I just had my first a couple months ago.

Advice
http://babyhtaketwo.blogspot.com/2011/08/c-section-surgery-and-recovery-101.html

Packing
http://babyhtaketwo.blogspot.com/2011/09/packing-your-hospital-bag-c-section.html

Birth Story (with pics!)
http://babyhtaketwo.blogspot.com/2011/08/long-awaited-birth-story-complete-with.html

makyo | 7:43 PM

you look absurdly good for any pregnant woman, let alone one with twins. i gained more with only one babe and it was everywhere except my stomach. ahem. but all i can think about it... you're such a tease! i have to know what kind of diaper bag you bought. I. HAVE. TO. KNOW. the suspense is killing me!

Amanda | 8:52 PM

Your pictures make me wish I had taken many more pictures of my own twin belly. You look fabulous!

oh, jenny mae | 8:59 PM

no c-section advice, but good vibes coming your way for cooking those babies until they're done. my doc told me to expect to have my girls by 34 weeks & it came...and went. 4 weeks later, i had to be induced for medical reasons. it was fine, but i was so fucking anxious!

and my word verification is dilated.

Clara Womack Barksdale | 9:24 PM

I was reading your blog when my 8 year old daughter (who is queen of saying whatever pops into her head) glanced over and saw the first picture. She said, "Oooooh, myyyyyyy.". I quickly blurt out that you are growing two babies in there. To which my daughter replies, "huh. Cool.".

Which it really, really is. Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

SaraMinerva | 9:31 PM

Almost done and still gorgeous!

kittenpie | 9:38 PM

Holy crap. you are amazing, lady. You are almost physically impossible, and yet, stunning. And if I may say about c-sections, that it really is not that bad, and when it's planned and you're not worn out from a full day of labour first, it's even better. You'll be better than fine, I know. And meanwhile, keep on with your incredible ways!

Christine | 9:51 PM

good lord. This is my first ever visit to your blog and the picture scared the crap out of me, until I figured out there was more than one in there...I thought I was looking at a world record holder. Good luck and congratulations.

Mackenzie | 6:11 AM

I'll admit it, I gasped. What a trooper you are.To be honest though, I think the belly only looks so gasp-worthy because you have maintained a normal person figure everywhere else. You are an inspiration! If I lived anywhere near you I would help you put all those bunnies to bed.

Adrianne | 6:48 AM

Yes! Labor Day IS a great day to be in labor! I had my baby girl on Monday!! :) And yes, I'm sitting here in the hospital room (while baby sleeps) reading your blog. You're almost there, and I can't wait to read THE update. Good luck; you look amazing!

Sarah | 9:44 AM

Hey Rebecca! I am 15 weeks pregnant with identicals and was wondering, are your lil' beans are identicals as well? What were some of your worries/concerns about your pregnancy and how did you get through them? You will be helping a homie out, cuz I need to calm the fuck down! Thanks =)

Ramblings of a Redhead | 11:43 AM

This post was a fantastic one. I was laughing out loud!!! Hope those babies come soon!!!

Sheri | 1:30 PM

You look beautiful!!!

I've had one natural childbirth without drugs, and two c-sections.

They aren't that awful, and really, I'd rather have the c-section any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

You are a wonderful mom!!!!

Heli | 1:31 PM

You are amazing! You just look better and better! I do not have four kids but we made the switch to the minivan recently with our two and it's AMAZING! We opted out of the dvd players too, figured it would be WWIII ever driving and not putting them on. So, anyway, you are majorly rocking the belly in ways people say but I REALLY mean!

Ray | 3:02 PM

YAY for week 34, fifty-five inch televisions, and two bowls of roses blossoming inside their mother's amazing womb!!! <3

Ray | 3:03 PM

Oh and: Archer is so damn wise for his young years, I tell ya! I think he all gives us a run for our money. =P

Carla | 6:39 PM

Are you going to watch your own c-section? I HIGHLY recommend doing that. They put up a mirror and I could see the entire thing, from incision to putting me back together. Totally not scary and totally worth it! That way you're not guessing what's happening all the time - you can see!

Anonymous | 4:18 AM

My goodness, I'm amazed that belly doesn't just fall right off of you.

Brooke Warner | 7:57 AM

Yikes! AND BEAUTIFUL! You look great. Congratulations. LOVE!!

Christina @busybmommy | 10:31 AM

2 of the most beautiful and brilliant baby girls make up that bowl of roses. You are so amazing.

AddyJett | 2:44 PM

Can I please please buy your maternity hand-me-downs? you always look so fabulous. I'm so serious, throw everything in a box when you're done and I'll take it off your hands!

silver | 4:19 PM

you're like octomom in her first term!!

Jenn Bo | 10:32 PM

I think this is my second favorite line re: pregnancy -
"passengers, we are slowly making our descent. Please fasten your umbilical cords and put your placentas in the upright position"

First place must stick with my husband who described the arrival of our daughter as "coming off rappel" and something about the descent through the obvious gully. (Makes more sense when you know my husband is an alpine climber.)

Anyway, I laughed out loud with your description of readiness. =)