Twenty-Six Weeks

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four girls, two bods.

I brought back the unitard this week to see if I could fit into it and voila! Like a glove! Sure, it's so stretched out you can see clear-through it, but fuck it, it's summertime! Everyone loves a good six pack and my abs are of STEEL. Seriously. Thanks to my BFF Braxton Hicks, my abs are rock hard. And everyone's like, "let me feel your abs! Wow! Where do you work out?"

And I'm like, "I have two trainers that literally kick my ass 24/7. It's INSANE, you guys."
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Abs fabs

Babies are almost two pounds (hothouse cucumbers!) and I get to go in for a series of doctor appointments this week. At my last check-up the babies measured one week ahead of schedule so I'm curious to see whether they've slowed their roll or if they're continuing to mature exponentially like fetal geniuses.

I'm 185 pounds this week and my back is officially ALSO pregnant as well as my nose, arms, hips, wrists, ankles, knees, toes, mouth, chin, chest, calves, thighs and finger nails. It has now been six weeks since I've seen my vagina but I am told it is still there. By my doctors. Hal hasn't seen it in six weeks either... and by six weeks, I mean six months. Poor Hal needs a drink. And an orgy.

Over the weekend, I convinced myself that I had plenty of wherewithal to go on a family dog walk/kids on bikes/stroll but after four (short!) blocks we had to turn around because I was literally crying. ON A FUCKING WALK! It's a combination of pelvic pressure + hip pain + feeling like someone is kicking my lower back with combat boots. But I wanted to go on a walk so bad! Just like I want to take the kids on outings. Just like I want to garden and shave my legs and buckle my sandals.

Such is life as a frail giant.

ED: I think my bitchiness stems from feeling completely helpless and dependent on everyone for everything. Hal and I got in a fight because he didn't want me shopping at Trader Joes by myself and I didn't want him shopping at Trader Joes by HIMSELF because he always ends up bringing home weird shit that nobody eats. In bulk. And then I get pissed and he's like, "I'm trying, Bec!" and I'm like, "You ASSHOLE!"

I don't say that, actually. That would be mean.

Yesterday I spent the day sitting on my ass in a blow-up baby pool that kept deflating I assume because it was cheap. I tried to convince the kids to join me for a swim but Archer told me he thought I "needed my space" which was so not true, what a liar.

So I sat in the baby pool alone and meditated. In a baby pool. A pool for babies. Because there was no room in the damn thing to do anything but sit quietly and watch bugs fall around me and die. Fable kindly poured an entire container of bubbles in my cesspool of dead bugs and leaves and just like that, an afternoon bubble bath. Such service here at Che GGC, come on over!
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Fable's outfit = all her. She insisted on long sleeves and boots on a 98 degree day. Did I argue? No. Because I was wearing a transparent catsuit and had no place.

I go in for my SUPER FUN drink-the-glucose-cocktaul-without-puking-all-over-American Angler-magazine appointment this week. I actually have TWO doc appointments this week which means I will be well acquainted with Angler magazine which is ALWAYS in OBGYN doctor's offices. Because nothing says Downtown LA like fly-fishing? Who fucking fishes in Los Angeles? Fishing for compliments and hookers, yes, but really? Can we get some Cosmo up in here? An old US Weekly from 2003, perhaps? At this point I'm bringing the kids with my to my OB appointments just to entertain me for the two hours of waiting-room-weirdness, so I don't have to see another glossy of a dude in camo pull a hook out of a dead fish's mouth.

And also, because Archer and Fable are my best friends. (These babes-to-be have seriously big shoes to fill. No pressure, R&B.)
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I love that Fable wanted to be with me in these pictures. I love her

Speaking of R&B, everyone in my family now thinks the babies' names are ACTUALLY Rhythm & Blues because, as they say, "we wouldn't put it past you." Thanks?

Name Segue time: I happen to love that the Beckhams went with "Seven" as a middle name. LOVE. I love it as much as I despise people's need to make fun of celebrities for their naming choices. Apple is adorable. Audio Science is maybe the coolest name ever, second to Pilot which is so totally badass. Names are as arbitrary as words and if you're going to name a child something that MEANS something, why not just name your child the MEANING. I mean...? And FYI, it isn't the kids that are making fun of their peers' names on the playground, it's the parents (us!) who are the shit-talkers. See: the entire Internet.

I'll never forget when Archer came home from his first day of school and said, "Mom! I met this boy at school with the strangest name!"

"Really? What was it?" I asked.

"Bobby!"

Moral of the story? It's all relative. Bobby is a perfectly lovely name. But so is Audio. And Seven. And Moxie Crimefighter.

Whoa. Now I'm all riled up! I am very tough and feisty with rage! Must meditate in baby pool again! Alone! BY CHOICE!

In the meantime, good news! The Thing 1 & Thing 2 hats I ordered a couple weeks ago came last week!
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Awwww...
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Hal and I are considering a Cat in the Hat Halloween theme. (Naturally, I would be the Cat and Hal would be "the mom" because cross-dressing is our strength as a couple.) In the meantime? The "thing" hats make quite the supportive brassiere. Very Fall 2067.
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***


GGC

107 comments:

Abbe | 4:45 PM

The Beckhams must be Seinfeld fans, because George claimed the name Seven years ago. My hubster wanted to revisit it for our baby-in-utero, but now the Beckhams have ruined it! Maybe we'll try it in Czech, my hubster's nationality.

lynn | 4:56 PM

i've never commented here before, but i can't help it, we have so much in common (as far as pregnancy is concerned)! i have a 3yo son and twin 17month old girls. we're not sure if they're identical or fraternal. they measured big my whole pregnancy. it was a total oops, one-time-thing pregnancy and we were SHOCKED to have twins. i gained (and lost) 50 pounds with my son, and then 75-80 with my girls (which i also lost relatively easily, though my stomach will never be the same). my girls were around 8 lbs each. ANYWAY, i just feel really happy for you, and also want to encourage you during this toughish time. i went to 39.5 weeks before my doc forced me to have those girlies. i worked up until i had the girls, and i never went on bed rest. i felt REALLY CRAPPY for the last couple of months, but i kept keeping on, doing what i had to do (older kids will do that to you), and it's just amazing what a woman's body can do - what YOUR body can and will do, too. rest when you can and give yourself lots of emotional "breaks," but don't sell yourself short either - you can get in there and still live your life and be who you want to be and enjoy this time with your pre-twin family. do it, enjoy it, relish it - it's a crazy experience. good luck to you!!

wonderchris | 4:57 PM

Great post!!

Love that Fable wanted to be with you...so cute.

Keep on growin' sweet girls!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 4:58 PM

Thank you, Lynn! I really appreciate that! Much love, lady.

moosh in indy. | 5:02 PM

I for one am geeked at what the true names of R&B will be. Because I like to live vicariously through your uber cool hip kid names while I sit at home with my little old ladies Adelaide and Vivienne while we knit and watch reruns of The Andy Griffith Show.
Such is Indiana, where ironically, we don't have flyfishing magazines in OB waiting rooms, just bibles.

Fairly Odd Mother | 5:02 PM

First, you look amazing. And Fable is adorable.

Second (or third?), the name thing---I had to laugh at Archer's amazement over Bobby. When my oldest was younger, I was telling her the names of friends from high school. Michele, Karen, Shelly, . . .She started Fa-reaking out over Shelly. She laughed and laughed and kept saying "Shell---eee?!?! That is a name?? What about Boat---eeee or Table-eee??" Even now if I mention someone is named Shelly, I hear her snort and I have to look away or I'll get the giggles with her. My point? Names are funny things and ones that sound totally normal at the time can evoke giggles a few decades later.

Eee | 5:05 PM

i just have to say that i love reading what you have to say, you always make my day! I also love the thing 1 and thing 2 hats!!! amazing! also i just can't wait to here your name choices, honestly you are my inspiration for my future childrens names.

heather... | 5:08 PM

I love feisty Becs. I'll come over and shave your legs. I was desperate for hair removal with my pregnancies and I wasn't a torpedo at 26 weeks.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | 5:10 PM

Hang in there.

You might not believe this, but you look AMAZING. I was busting out of all of the XL maternity clothes at 26 weeks. After 30 weeks my mom had to buy me 3XL gym teacher shorts.

guarros | 5:11 PM

Damn. Amazingly funny & fun post - sounds weird cause obviously there are parts where you are wilding out - but what's fun for me? I'm not alone. Hooray for selfishness - I want to give a strong fist pump for most of your points here! Also, many a giggle was had so thanks AND ouch because apparently doing anything that requires moving provides this baby O mine with a reason to kick back... literally.

Fly fishing? We just moved to the midwest...where in our waiting room? We HAVE those People mags from 2003... and the latest and greatest of HUNTING. Nothing says "nurture your child" like a good article about summer seasons of gaming?

Can't wait to find out the alter egos of Rhythm & Blues!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 5:13 PM

You guys are killing me with our comments. I just peed on myself. I love you all. Heather, please come over and shave my legs. I will pay you.

Carla | 5:13 PM

All I can say is, I am 2 weeks behind you with one baby and I am feeling all the things you describe, though I imagine to a lesser degree.
You look gorgeous and your writing is always so beautiful and inspiring, not to mention funny....The visual of you in the deflating baby pool? So hilarious and, at the same time, left me yearning for a baby pool of my own.
As an aside, I will be a mom for the first time this Nov. If I can be even half as awesome a mom that you seem to be, I will be so happy. You are a wonderful role model, I think.
Thanks for sharing with us!

Pearmama | 5:29 PM

Oh, mama. Your *angstyness* just leaped off my computer screen...being pregnant with two human beings when its hotter than the devils butt crack will do that to a person!

P.S. I'm so loving your catsuit. Rawwrr

Amanda | 5:36 PM

Girl, you look SOOO good! I've got one baby in my belly and am only 8 weeks ahead of you and wouldn't be caught DEAD in a {meow!} cat suit! {Don't even think I could pull it off at 0 weeks pregnant!}

Stay feisty, but rest up and take care of those babies.

Oh, and Hal and my husband can commiserate on not getting any together - it just is NOT going to happen!

Andrea | 5:36 PM

Sorry it's been so frustrating lately! How painful

It's so sweet that Fable is holding your hand in the photos. My heart melts.

Mom101 | 5:40 PM

I love that you think you have to somehow justify bitchiness. No pregnant woman has to explain bitchiness--especially no pregnant woman of twins.

Now you march right on over to the Whiskey Bar and start pouring drinks with the other catsuit ladies.

Rebecca | 5:42 PM

Oh good lord. You crack me up.

Whitney | 5:45 PM

We are almost 34 weeks with twin boys and I can totally relate! Our boys are measuring bug too and one keeps tap dancing on my cervix, which is getting old and fast! With these being my first babies I never knew you cervix could actually be sore! We also have been on "pelvic rest" since 23 weeks, I know my poor Hubby. Honestly though with the enormous amounts of tap dancing going on I don't think I could handle anything else inside of me! Plus I have not seen my nether regions in months so who knows what's going on down there! And Braxton hicks suck!! But they do give you rock hard abs, which I'm sure I won't experience for a while after the babies arrive.

You look amazing by the way! I think the unitard looks amazing on you! And I love that Fabel wanted to be in the pictures! She is going to adore her little sisters!

doahleigh | 5:46 PM

I want to scream your name rant out loud. It's everything I've been thinking. You're looking adorable by the way.

Kimberly | 5:51 PM

This post made me laugh out loud. I love that Archer said he thought you needed your space while you sat in the "cesspool of dead bugs."

flyrish | 5:51 PM

I'm joining the fist pumping preggo posse! Argh with the angst!

On the "unusual" names thing, I have mixed feelings since my parents named me Michie (me-she), short for Micheline. I HATED it when I was a shy kid, but now I appreciate that it's unique. I guess I just want peeps to be able to pronounce my kids' names. And I do love Seven. I still don't know what my daughter-to-be's name will be -- my husband is not as down with the more creative names.

Krysta | 5:53 PM

Can't wait to hear what you guys decided to name the girls!

Also, your experience with the walk was exactly how I felt recivering from back surgery. Not the same thing, I know, but I can sympathize with the frusteration!

Nicole | 5:54 PM

Have you seen the Etsy shop Plaid Pigeon? They have these awesome pink giraffe toy planters. Take a look. You may have to look at sold items since they are often sold out. I highly recommend it.

Ashleigh | 5:56 PM

You are HILARIOUS. I love this post!

And, I love the name Harper Seven, thought I am also a little sad. I've been secretly wanting to name a daughter Harper for YEARS and the Beckhams will undoubtedly make it a popular name. I had FIVE other girls with my name in my middle school gym class and have sworn off any "trendy" names for my future children. I'm so excited to learn the real names of R&B :)

The Kellys | 5:59 PM

You look absolutely fabulous! I only had one person at a time kicking the crud out of my innards and I was a mess. I cannot imagine two kick boxers in there.

And I completely agree with you on the names. Would I have named my kid Pilot or Audio? No. But I think they sound so cool and give kudos to their parents for actually picking out names they like.

So excited to hear your girls' names!

BOSSY | 6:01 PM

You are such a beauty, as is Fable and those we've yet to see. xoxo

Gina | 6:08 PM

You and your hormones are hilarious! This post made my day.

Thistles & Brambles | 6:12 PM

This is hilarious. Your hormones are obviously to blame for this incredible post. You made my day!

Anne | 6:17 PM

You look fab. Seriously - fab. I can't imagine how un-fab you feel, but I thought you should know that through objective eyes, you are rocking this three girls/one body pregnancy thing.

Can't WAIT to hear what R&B's names are. Love the stories behind Fable and Archer's names and all of the meaning put into each. Lucky babes for a million reasons!

katiep913 | 6:21 PM

You have me laughing again today! There is no way to describe pregnancy with twins, THERE ARE NO WORDS. But you come as close as possible, and I can't stop nodding and chuckling! (easy to say, since I'm looking BACK)

In high school I was bound and determined to change my name to Seven MacGregor. Some days I wish I had followed through.

Here's to 26 weeks! (Am I the only person on the face of this earth who likes the glucose drink??)

Melissa | 6:25 PM

I kind of want to come out to LA and hang with you. I imagine us in Trader Joe's, you in a wagon, me pulling you like the prom queen. You could totally rock a tiara and tons of pearls on top of your unitard. I myself would dress in the same because then it would seem like we were some new hollywood "it" girls.

Of course I would need to bring my 2 and 5 year old with me so then it would be like one big play date. I should warn you that Mallory loves to dress herself and is currently rocking a wife beater style tank top, red glitter shoes and a pull up with knockers over top. I imagine that her and Fable would start their own fashion line and be the talk of the town.

Don't worry, I will bring my own kiddie pool. Ah, some days I wish the internet was real life.

Cave Momma | 6:36 PM

You are totally rocking that cat suit. And Fable? Freakin adorable as always. Love the mental image of you in the baby pool. And? I will totally shave your legs for you because I remember not being able to and that sucked. Especially in the summer (which both pregnancies were since I'm a gluton for punishment like that). Especially when my hubs wasn't so keen on doing it for me.

And in my opinion, you look beautiful. Keep growing those babies super woman!

Glenda | 6:38 PM

Rebecca,

You look amazing. Love that Fables in all the pictures. Love that Archer said you needed space. Fable will be such a good big sis. Can't wait to hear the names you picked.

Love your writing. Your way with words. Sentimental and funny. I love reading your blog!

EMQ | 6:39 PM

Much respect Rebecca. At the end of my last pregnancy, when my body was aout where yours is now, all I wanted was to lay down and nap. The factj that you're even attempting walks is most admirable. A for any residual bitchiness, I bet everyone in your life understands. I think bitchiness as release should be encouraged in these situations. I mean, come one, you're carrying two lives!
P.S. The hats are amazing!

katiep913 | 6:44 PM

Forgot to add that I threw a Thing 1 and Thing 2 party for my twins' first birthday, how I wish I'd had those hats! adorable!

Abilew-who | 6:50 PM

Whatever. You're a fox. And an amazing, incubating machine. Stop thinking about the hair on your legs, and start thinking about that AMAZING mop of beautiful hair on your head. Good Lord I'd love to have your locks.

Amy K | 7:11 PM

When I saw the R&B initials, my first thought was Rhiannon and Bronwyn, quickly followed by Rimbaud and Baudelaire. But I like Rhythm & Blues, too! People get so uppity about names, and it's just silly. They pooh-pooh Apple, but Olive is just fine. Rose is elegant, but Marigold is hippie. I can't wait to see what you guys chose. Did you run the names by your other kids? I'm curious what Archer and Fable had to say.

Lindsay | 7:26 PM

Fell off my couch. Died laughing. Resuscitated. Died laughing again. xoxo

Anonymous | 7:58 PM

Is there any name that you DON'T like? I am the opposite, there is hardly any name I like. Also I don't think it's important for a name to have huge meaning or be unique as much as it is to sound good. I have an uncommon name with "big" meaning but I hate having to repeat my name all the time and people spelling it wrong because they heard it wrong. Also parents are not the only one knocking names...I didn't get my name made fun of in a derogatory way but it was close enough to a popular song when I was younger and it was annoying to hear it. People would say "I'm just singing the song" even though they knew I didn't like it.

M. | 7:59 PM

You crack me up, Rebecca. I love how fiesty you are this week!

I can't wait to hear what glorious names you've chosen for your little ladies. And I love Archer's reaction to the name "Bobby!"

Sarah Katie | 8:06 PM

i have to agree about the names. i think that traditional, old school names are nice. but i can't help think that Apple, is a totally beautiful name. i would totally name a kid that. although, now everyone would think i was copying the Martin/Paltrow baby. oh well, i guess i will just have to name my in the very distant future child…Pineapple. It is my favorite fruit. tehe

Jamie | 8:06 PM

This might be the most funny post I have ever read by you! Good stuff!

craftyashley | 8:13 PM

Having experienced a pregnancy with twins, don't put too much into the ultrasound weights. They told me my twins were going to be HUGE. I was properly scared. 4lbs and 6lbs. they ended up to be. Congrats! Twins are amazing.

Claire Gibson King | 8:13 PM

god, i love the way you write. you really do it so well. you know just want to say to let us know how you feel. i am so excited for you and your children... current and future. maybe try a big pool...that might be a little better and with less bugs. good luck with all your doc apts.

molly | 8:13 PM

Okay, the more pregnant you get the funnier you get.

Your son telling you that you needed space? I just spit my water out. Totally sounds like something my husband would say.

p.s. I named my second child Brigham and people constantly ask me if I'm morman. #1. there's nothing wrong with mormans #2. it's just annoying because I'm not and I'm sick of that question.

We picked it because I wanted a strong sounding, unique name and we liked it! Meaning? He's our son and I love his name. There's your meaning =)

p.p.s. I kind of like the name apple. Also? mango. I mean, how fun would that be. MANGOOOOO!!!

whoorl | 8:29 PM

Just want to say that you are gorgeous. GORGEOUS!

Vanessa | 8:45 PM

I'm loving the attitude. Reminds me of how I felt during my last and final (fourth) pregnancy. I'm convinced you (=women) get bitchier with each pregnancy. I certainly did! Anyway, bitch on girlfriend. Loved the post.

Eunice | 9:00 PM

So far week 26 has been my favorite. You are hilarious, and I apologize because I know you are uncomfortable. I am amazed by how the body can be pregnant with twins. It's very cool! You look awesome, by the way. And Fable. Adorable!

Jenna H | 11:08 PM

I actually loved that they picked Seven too. I mean, it's David Beckham's soccer number, and she was born in July. Plus seven is seen as a "divine" number in tons of religions/cultures. As for the first name, I was hoping for Luna. (I read in a magazine somewhere that if their youngest son had been a girl he would have been Luna. SO PRETTY.

Lori | 11:15 PM

Bobby! What a name!! Isn't it interesting how names come in and out of fashion!

Your post are always funny, but this was hilarious!! I was laughing out loud, and almost peed! (ok a little bit came out, but I too am pregnant, so there is probably a connection!

Love that you call your kids your best friends, my daughter has been my rock throughout this pregnancy, and I don't know what I would do with out her, and she is only three!

You look great and I'm loving your post, keep it up!

Anonymous | 12:49 AM

You are inspiring and amazing. Not to forget...funny too!

I'm sure the kick-boxing abs will work for you later and if not at least you'll have four kiddies (omg!!!) to boss around and make them do stuff for you because...well you let the four of them kick your guts for a couple of years!

I must finish by saying you look incredible, really incredible!

Happy babies-incubating! xxx

eggdipdip | 12:54 AM

aaah, the fiesty stage of pregnancy - remember it well. I always put it down to all that testosterone, with being pregnant with boys, but I guess it must just be the shear volume of vaginas for you! You go girl.

And I'm so with you on the name thing. Who's business is it anyway what the Beckham's call their children? I think it's a lovely name (not that Vic & Dave probably give a shit but hey ho, just saying). Sometimes, parents and women in particular are their own worst enemy. Give it a rest people. We're all just trying to raise some nice kids here.

Oh, and by the way, you ROCK that cat suit. See through or not.

A Brilliant Life | 1:24 AM

You look beautiful and I 100 percent feel and know your pain! Pregnancy is uncomfortable - twin pregnancy is beyond that. Way. Beyond. That.

I never went on bed rest officially but I kind of put myself on a self-inflicted bed rest that included watching the entire LOST series. I was obsessed and I will never forget what it feels to have been stuck in that bedroom in my new apartment in my new city in my new country - balancing a bowl of honey nut Cheerios on my belly and obsessively watching lost. I would sometimes waddle late to work because of it. But I too worked up until I had the babies and I was so freaking miserable at the end that I remember the day before I gave birth announcing at an in-law gathering that I was ready to have my body back. And then when my water broke the next morning and I was only at 35 weeks I cried and prayed that the babies stay in and i was really really scared and felt really really guilty about wanting me back. But secretly I was physically relieved!!!!!!!! I remember standing on the sidewalks having contractions waiting on the car to go to the hospital and my husband say " oh my god - look at your feet" and we high-fived because the swelling had instantly gone down and I no longer had my shrek feet! I was like an over inflated balloon and when my water broke it was like someone had poked me and the pressure was gone. I was scared and not ready to have the babies but then keeping them in seemed impossible with every passing minute. And now...I have two HUGE and healthy toddlers and feel like I got out lucky and suffered maybe five times more than I would have had it been a singleton pregnancy but that I also had to be that big and miserable five weeks less!

Also as an aside I don't actually feel comfortable saying that I suffered more during pregnancy or after with twins because I know that a baby is a HUGE adjustment for every woman. So don't want to come off like that either.

Moral of the story: You are doing great. You look beautiful. Go back to your parents pool if you can because it is good for your body to be weightless. And everything will turn out wonderfully!

another bec | 3:03 AM

So funny. Thanks for the laugh. Also, poor Hal!

Thrifty Vintage Kitten | 5:02 AM

I heart your posts. You're flippin' hilarious.

Allison | 5:26 AM

Seven is George's name! They stole it! Oh and ITA with you about names. It's completely arbitrary that Ava is somehow more "normal" than say, my two daughter's names (Wynter and Rowan). People have such a sheep mentality sometimes.

Connie | 6:27 AM

Once again, another reminder of why I shouldn't read your blog while in my office at work. Because nothing is THAT funny at 8:30am in the office that would call for the kind of cackling/snorting laughter you call forth. Therefore, you'll find me attempting to silently laugh hysterically, mime-style in my office, praying no one walks past my door and SEES what I am trying to stifle (with no success).

My point being is that your sense of humor is envied and APPRECIATED. You look fabulous. So does Fable. (That girl is wearing those boots, for sure.)

Anonymous | 6:35 AM

"Fable's outfit = all her. She insisted on long sleeves and boots on a 98 degree day. Did I argue? No. Because I was wearing a transparent catsuit and had no place."


So, so funny!

Elle | 6:49 AM

I thought the name Kate was made up until I was probably a teenager. And I have a COUSIN NAMED KATE! I swear I thought my aunt made it up. It was just the oddest name to me.

Darra | 6:58 AM

This is definitely one of the funniest things you've ever written. Esp. Archer saying that you "need your space." I almost died.

writermom | 7:04 AM

I think YOU made ME pee myself! You've kept your sense of humor and that's an amazing thing. I was hugely pregnant last summer and NOT a pleasant human being...who would be? And you are growing two babies!! Part of my bitchiness stemmed from not only being uncomfortable, but missing out on family adventures...I so wanted to partake in those things because it was our last summer as a family of four. But new adventures await! And you are doing an incredible thing right now. So go easy on yourself, rest up, bask in your glory. I will send you better OB office reading material if you want. Also: You might consider tapping into the soul-uplifting power of a pedicure. Have you scheduled your prenatal massage? Pamper, pamper, pamper!!

Chelsea | 7:37 AM

Your belly is quite adorable.

Love the hats!

Mommy Lisa | 7:37 AM

Totally agree on the picking on naming deal...Apple is not WEIRD, nor is Seven. People need to get over themselves.

Couldn't Rythem and Blues be middle names?

Lynne | 8:08 AM

I love this post. You are hilarious! You look gorgeous and so does Fable.

SoMo | 8:11 AM

I don't want to laugh, because I can feel your pain through your post, but I can imagine you in the baby pool all alone and everyone staying away. Even better that your son decided you needed your space. Sorry.

Meh, on names. My knee jerk reaction maybe that the name is weird or not common, but I wouldn't make fun of it. Why? Because I hated it when we told people the name we were going to name our first child and they immediately said that is a stripper or, worse, porn star name. Um, that is my unborn daughter you are talking about!

Sometimes it is not so great to name the kid the meaning. Our youngest daughter's name is Evangeline Claire. I don't think it would be as good to name her Good News Bearer Clear. LOL!! She might be a rare case, though.

Red Stethoscope | 8:23 AM

You may be feeling crochety, but it made this post hilarious! The baby "cesspool" plus Hal's tendency to buy crap no one eats "in bulk"...lol. You look lovely; hope the babies ease off of the hip bones at least for a few moments this week.

awordartisan | 8:26 AM

I am so schadenfreude-y excited that you've hit the bitchy, annoyed, anti-social, say-whatever-you're-thinking-the-moment-you're-thinking-it, period of your pregnancy. It's wildly entertaining. Go, Becs.

Kacey Haffner-Bruce | 8:26 AM

best post to date!!

CarolineTurpentine | 8:27 AM

Ahh the Cat in the Hat hats are adorable. I have thing 1 and thing 2 onesies for my twin niece and nephew & just bought them minion hats!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/68113434/minion-hat-despicable-me?ref=sr_gallery_23&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=minion+hats&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

Kate | 8:39 AM

O goodness! You at least can make us laugh. I hope you're laughing, too.

What does it say that I am NOT pregnant and could have written this line?: "I didn't want him shopping at Trader Joes by HIMSELF because he always ends up bringing home weird shit that nobody eats. In bulk." That IS our relationship. Maybe men just buy weird shit in bulk. I dunno.

Best to you and yours(s)(s). xo

Meghann | 9:26 AM

Lady!! You're awesome. I absolutely love your sense of humor.
I hate the discomfort and pain you're feeling. Hope a refreshing and enlightening baby pool meditation comes your way soon.

Miranda | 9:42 AM

I totally read an US Weekly from 2008 2 weeks ago during my glucose test. It was that or a car magazine.

jennigrows | 10:06 AM

hahaha, reading your blogs are like a peak behind the curtain of a mad pregnant woman - I love it! You so remind me of every single inch of how I feel and how I talk during pregnancy. Love the hats. Love that you are rocking the unitard. Keep on, keepin on girl!

Allison | 10:17 AM

I loled way too many times while reading this post. My coworker KNEW I was slacking. So I read her the part about not seeing your 'gina in 6 weeks, and she loled, too. Convert.

Lauren Knight | 10:36 AM

You are hilarious! Thanks for the smile!

K | 10:47 AM

I love this whole post, just so funny -- from the Trader Joe's tiff, to Archer leaving you to your alone time, to Fable's sweet buddyness, and your family really thinking you're naming your kids Rhythm and Blues.. pregnancy stress brings out your best humor writing :)

sanctimomious | 11:30 AM
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Faith P | 11:34 AM

I just LOVE you! Great post today!!

Blair | 11:44 AM

I was seriously laughing out loud while reading this. I know we don't know eachother but I totally love you! :)

Kate | 11:59 AM

Great post.

Also, I'm 36 wks w/only 1 babe inside me and felt so lame struggling to walk to and from our neighborhood farmer's mkt this Sunday in the heat. It's like I was convincing myself, "We are having fun, damnit!" when it was clearly so uncomfortable. Oh well - we try!

Off topic: bought a regular maxi dress at Anthro last week on your recommendation, and you did not lead me astray - love it! Can't believe the thing still works considering I'm as big as a house now.

Kate | 12:09 PM

Oh man, I am loving these posts more and more each week. You are getting blatantly crazier, in the best way possible, and it's fantastic. Also, the catsuit = whoop whoop!

The Slick Mom | 3:23 PM

Ah names! I love when people choose original names. My boys aren't too out of the norm, Maddox and Declan, but I don't know any others and that's why I love the names. AND you look freakin amazing!

Meagan | 3:51 PM

I agree with you on the name thing 100%. Apple is an adorable name! And, I think Moxie Crimefighter is pretty much the coolest name I've ever heard.
However, I have a really hard time with misspellings of conventional names, so apparently I'm still I little conservative on that front.
Can't wait to hear what you're naming R and B!

dirtdonthurtmom | 4:14 PM

bubbles in a dead bug/leaf cesspool.
This so resembles my life that I peed my pants laughing at work.

Allison | 4:37 PM

Rebecca, I've been reading your blog for weeks now, and I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your fabulous sense of humor. I'm expecting twins as well, with a due date of Oct. 22, so I just check in with your blog to see what to expect next! This post really cracked me up. The reading material at my OB/GYN's practice? "Arthritis Today". Seriously. And this is a maternal fetal health specialist, so they are ONLY dealing with the pregnant ladies. Even "American Angler" would be more appropriate than that, given that we're in Maine.

Little Gray Pixel | 6:38 PM

Re the fly-fishing magazine: What is UP with that? My OB always had auto magazines in the waiting room. Um, because there are so many MEN* going to the OB.

*and yes, I know, some people's husbands do go to the OB with them, but they do not deserve magazines for their sacrifice. And I also realize that men are not the ONLY readers of car magazines. Let's just sum it up to say that I do not care for them, so no one else should, either.

Anonymous | 7:01 PM

I just love these posts on your pregnancy progress! They are a bit bittersweet for me because I too was pregnant and due in October...but unfortunately it was not meant to be. So even though reading these posts makes me a bit wistful, they mostly make me so happy and at peace to see someone that is fully embracing the miracle that is happening inside of her. You look just lovely and Fable is so adorable in these pics! Keep the updates coming...so funny and sweet at the same time! I too am ridiculously excited to discover R&B's true names!♥

cALyPsO | 7:02 PM

U R TOO FUNNY!!

Marty J. Christopher | 7:19 PM

I think it's time you rent or buy one of those old people scooters? I know, right? Genius. Also, I'm sort of new to your blog, so the only pictures I've seen of your husband so far are of him in women's clothing. Awesome.

13 double u's | 8:21 PM

Just having to comment at how awesome you are! All the best wishes for you and your growing family!

dna | 9:05 PM

Oh my gosh, I laughed so hard reading this! Love the catsuit!

Miss M | 9:43 PM

Positively hilarious! Your writing gets funnier as your pregnancy continues. I can feel your pain and angst as though I were 41.5 weeks pregnant all over again. You are tough and can totally do this!

BonJoey | 12:05 AM

Woman, you had me in stitches reading this post!!! F'ing hilarious! Pregnancy, especially double-pregnancy, looks amazing on you!
And also - Fable is too cute for words in those pictures, oh my god she's so beautiful!!! I cannot WAIT to see your two new baby girls! You and Hal make gorgeous babes. ;)
BTW - I wholeheartedly agree with you that Pilot is one of the COOLEST names ever!!! Although I didn't get to use it for one of my boys (the hubs wouldn't have it and my parents loudly protested), I've wanted to use it since I read Jane Eyre in high school. Someday when we get a dog, I'm absolutely naming him after Rochester's. I suppose it's more fitting that way anyhow.

Lara | 6:54 AM

I love the names you have picked for your kids and a lot of the name lists you come up with, but you completely lost me at Pilot Inspektor (think that's actually how he chose to spell it.) and Audio Science. LOL. Audio Science is not a name, it's a college course. Although, even though I'd love to give Mariah and Nick crap for naming their son Moroccan (a nationality! not a name!), I kinda think 'Roc and 'Roe are really cute/clever niceknames for their twins (maybe a little too "twinsy", but cute.) You're ultimately right though, it's all subjective. (you'll never get me to change my mind on Audio Science and Pilot Inspektor though. It's just not right. LOL)

emmittjames | 1:03 PM

i love you. that is all. keep on keeping on, you're really doing great.

grace | 1:23 PM

Nobody that pregnant should look that good in a unitard. I'm pretty sure you're my new role model.

Erin | 2:42 PM

LOL. I laughed hard about you alone and the pool and Archer telling you that you need some space. You have got some pretty cute kids there.

idiot | 6:03 PM

My son's name is Robert and he goes by Bobby. I recently was in Toys R Us and they had name mugs. They had Nevaeh but no Robert. I had to laugh.

jackie | 6:59 PM

these are great photos! three cheers for twins (i am one myself). please just refrain from the matchy matchy outfits or rhyming names, your daughters will thank you.

melani rae | 7:31 AM

Every year, in Sweden, the paper prints the names parents have attempted to give their child, that the state has rejected.

Oh the debates around the coffee machine that list creates...

nicole | 1:21 PM

1. You look amazing.

2. I LOVE your sense of humor; you crack me up, woman.

3. Fable is the sweetest.

4. I'm totally with you on the names. At my godson Isaac's first birthday party over the weekend, I met some cool little kiddos. One boy was named Seeger Cobra! I mean, really, there are plenty of Bobby's in the world! xo.

Anonymous | 7:02 PM

I agree with you, the internet is a war zone when it comes to names, its a war zone against all names, just look at baby name websites and every single name will have mean things written about it. You mentioned you like Seven but didnt give a nod to Harper, does that mean you dont like it or its not your style? Just wondering.

hanguptheheels.com | 8:55 PM

You are too funny! And look so great with those growing babies!

I actually know little Mr. Audio Science. When I first heard the name I was like huh?? But, now... it makes so much sense. I couldn't see him with any other name. Kuddos to extraordinary names!

-Stacey

Ray | 11:17 PM

YAY 26 WEEKS! Love this entry, and I just LOVE you!

"And also, because Archer and Fable are my best friends."

Love, love, LOVE! ;D

AlishaLoren | 10:44 AM

Absolutely laugh out loud hilarious.

elliott365 | 1:02 PM

Okay. I must know. Where did you get Fable's shirt/tunic/dress?

Kate | 6:25 AM

Oh thank god I have your posts to read as I approach all of these weekly milestones. I have been SUCH A bitch this week, I think even the cats have noticed, so seeing that Archer thought you might "need your space" is so... just. yeah. I'm also struggling with the "i can do it!" phase. I haven't been told no grocery shopping yet by the lover, but moving things like a laundry basket are fair game for making me feel like an invalid. On the opposite hand, while cleaning the kitchen yesterday I cried to myself "why did he leave this mess for me? Doesn't he know I'm pregnant with twins?" Yeah, there is no rulebook to my psychosis. Just put down the laundry and back away slowly. Also, thank you for being honest (and open!) about your weight gain. I was bigger than you to begin with, but this week went to a different clinic where the scale was obviously plotting against me to say I had gained 5 pounds in two weeks for a total of 30 pounds. I was also measuring at 34 weeks for singleton, but it doesn't make seeing your weight go further into the 200's any easier to take.