Twenty-two Weeks

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This pregnancy is zooming by. I think because I'm in no hurry whatsoever to NOT be pregnant. I mean... twenty-two weeks? Already? If thirty-eight weeks is the absolute latest I'll give birth then we're talking three and a half months more! How did that happen? I just peed on the pregnancy test yesterday, no? (I also wore this same outfit ten weeks ago and it fit SLIGHTLY... differently.)

Babes weigh just about one pound each now (whoa!) and are the size of spaghetti squashes (cut to WWW shopping for spaghetti squash). They have eyebrows now (awwww!) and speaking of hair... GUESS WHOSE HAIR IS BACK!??? This girl's right here. Having thick hair is a fabulous perk of pregnancy, especially after spending the last three years with bald spots. Not being able to shave my pubes? That's what I call an un-perk.

...Speaking of nethers, pressure is becoming unbearable in the pelvic region. Sitting up is my CrossFit and standing for longer than ten minutes is my Iron Man. Every day I go to sleep feeling like someone punched me in the vagina. And not in a good way.
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And yes, that is indeed a hole in the butt of my leggings. I know. Just... don't.

I spent the day with my feet up yesterday after spending Saturday walking the mean streets of Legoland with the kids. For seven hours. I'm pretty sure I'll be taking it easy the rest of summer, which kind of sucks. Yesterday I stayed home with my mom while Hal and my dad took the kids to the the model trains at Balboa Park. Because I was still recovering from Legoland, which, duh, relax you have tenants! And yet? Sigh... I do not like missing out on adventures. Even when I feel like a dead person.

Which reminds me: why hasn't anyone invented maternity socks? Every sock I put on in the morning becomes lost in the folds of my ankle(s) by late afternoon. What's up, sock-makers of the world? What. is. up?

***

I turn thirty on Friday which feels surprisingly anti-climatic. Everyone I know WENT BIG on their 30th birthdays so I feel like I should at least have an inkling to do the same. Vegas lapdance-alooza? Eh. Party suite at the Chateau Marmont complete with guest list? Hardly. Joshua Tree shroom-fest via convertible Buick? Not. House Hunters International marathon on the couch? Damn girl. You makin' me hot!

Honestly, the only reason we have plans to do anything on my 30th is because Hal's show was nominated for an Emmy and the Daytime Emmys falls on my birthdaynight. So. I get to dress up in something wildly inappropriate and be THAT chick. The pregnant one surrounded by fancy people with fancy drinks who are like, "What is that girl DOING here. Shouldn't she be, like... home?"

And I'll be like, "Yes! But I'm THIRTY tonight! Dirty thirty wooooooo! Lets do shots! Of water!"

And they'll be like, "Bitch, please. You're wearing a Maxi Dress to a formal event."

The only thing less party-appropriate than being "the pregnant chick" in a Maxi (dress, not pad) among formal-attired former supermodels is being "the pregnant with twins" chick. Tripping over her own sobriety down the corridor.

"Oh look, Rebecca and her entourage of fetuses are here."

"Poor Hal. Soon sex with her is going to be like throwing a hotdog... into the sky!"

Get it? Because hallways are... you know... Because after four children... yeah.

Never mind.

***

I bought the babies their first non-matching/matching baby clothes - two of which are so teeny tiny I don't even believe it's even possible for babies to be so small. And the others are for next summer, which sounds insane until you remember how fast babies become toddlers become preschoolers become young men in sweater vests who ask to listen to NPR on their way to school, Archer.
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for newborn babes
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...and next summer

I also realized how expensive it is to buy two of everything. Even if everything WAS on sale. Good thing I have my mom chained to her sewing machine - I'll no doubt be keeping her there for the next eighteen years.

Which reminds me. Nursery curtains are halfway finished and they look SO CUTE you guys (pictures to come). The babies will shit themselves when they see how perfect they are!

***

Fable is already an incredible big sister, sharing every food item with the babies (read: lifting my shirt and flinging food at my bare belly with her spoon). Pasta, ice cream, even bottles are offered on a daily basis to my belly button, because the babies "look VERY hungry, mama."
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What ever does she mean?
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***

P.S. Fable would like you to know that she has babies in her tummy, too.
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GGC

***

86 comments:

Heather B. | 12:41 PM

When my mother was pregnant with my younger brother, I would try to feed him french fries through her belly button. Fable is in good company.

Anonymous | 12:44 PM

Congrats to Hal!

I hope your mom does provide an awesome spaghetti squash recipe. I tried it once and really wanted to LOVE it, but I absolutely hated it. Gagged. So I'm looking forward to what WWW can do.

B. | 12:46 PM

love the outfits. People always ask me why I don't dress my twins in matching outfits, but I think the coordinating clothes are much cuter. And better for the kids to feel like individuals.

Annabelvita | 12:48 PM

Oh man, I loved everything about this entry. You are beautiful and make me laugh. The twins' clothes are adorable, as is the little show stealer fable. Happy birthday!

Schnockered Mom | 12:49 PM

You look amazing. Really, you do. Hole in the butt and all. And you should definitely take some more forward-facing belly shots each week.

Fun Mama | 12:58 PM

If it makes you feel even a tiny bit better, boy/girl twins are even more expensive because they can't share all of their clothes.

I know they make belly support slings that many multiple's moms wear. Since I ended up on bedrest for my last trimester, I didn't need one. But, before that the full panel, ugly as sin, maternity pants did help support my gigando belly. You might want to try them. (Although, I wouldn't recommend them for a style post :)!)

Faith | 12:59 PM

I just love you! I feel like we are friends, lol. Fable is so darn cute! Best of luck.

Jasmine | 12:59 PM

Fable is amazing! And you look great! Congrats. I have FIVE count em, FIVE weeks to go... I am SO ready.

Rachel @ Little Kitchen, Big Bites | 1:04 PM

Omg you are hilarious, those baby clothes are precious, and Fable is a doll!

Mammy P | 1:06 PM

Hey girl. I had that horrible pelvis pain thing as well with my HELLA GIANT TEN POUNDER OF A SECOND BABY and oh, I can sympathise. Do you have one of those hold you up/in/together bondage stretchy thingymagigs? They don't make things 100% better but they helped a little. Get thee one of those thingymagigs.

You look adorable. Congrats to Hal! And happy day for Friday.
x

Molly | 1:16 PM

No matter the cuteness of the curtains, the babies WILL shit themselves when they see them.
And when they don't see them.
But I have no doubt they'll be totally shitworthy cute so no worries.
You're looking amazing - well done!
And happy birthday for Friday you spring chicken you.

Anonymous | 1:25 PM

The mere fact that you can still squat down like that while pregnant is a miracle in it's self.

-Janet

Dani | 1:25 PM

OMG, can I just steal fable? please? oh, you want to keep her. Well she's pretty damn cute!

Meg | 1:30 PM

The sideways shot does not do that belly justice! My fave part of a twin belly is when it stops growing forward and starts growing allll over!

You're adorable. Stay strong!

Anabelle | 1:40 PM

Yeah, the pregnant chick on a party night... I've been there and it was... well... On my 36th (no comment) birthday, we went out to a jazz concert and I was super big. Since it was my birhtday I dressed up kind of sexy and put on nice make-up. After the show, backstage, the musicians were looking at me with extra respect and kindness and at my man with extra respect and a she-sure-is-a-sexy-pregnant-mama-but-sex-is-over-for-you-man kind of look!! But we had a great time and if my son is ever a jazz musicians, I'll know why!

Have fun with your kids!

hayley | 1:44 PM

Way to go Hal! That is awesome...and I wont judge you for your Emmy's attire, you're freaking preggo those models can eff the eff off! you take some birthday shots of water!...or maybe apple juice, if you're feeling frisky. happy birthday :)

Sherri | 1:58 PM

Fable is too cute doing her belly shots. You look amazing. I didn't look that good when I was 12 weeks pregnant with one baby.

Heidi | 2:03 PM

Ah, Fable! My daughter was also pregnant when I was carrying my son. HER baby's name was Garway (rhymes with stairway - I have NO idea) and she had him, of course, the same night I had Ethan.

I bought her a newborn doll to nurse so we could be mommies together. She popped the doll on her bare chest for about 10 seconds, flung it across the room and decided then and there that motherhood was NOT her schtick.

She's now 21...still has no plans to ever be a mother.

Oh well.

Momma Good | 2:06 PM

I was pregnant on my 30th as well. All my girlfriends and I got pedicures and went to fondue. Except at fondue, I got to watch as they all had wine. So it goes....
Happy birthday, you are looking great. I also have to say I laughed out loud, sitting here at my desk about the hair "growth" post.

Unknown | 2:08 PM

i just started reading your blog today when a friend suggested it... i love it!

Anonymous | 2:13 PM

oh my gosh woman! whatever specific mood u were in when u wrote this you should be in every time u post. not to say u are ever boring but geeze this post had me laughing/smiling cheek to cheek all the way from the get till the end. such loveliness through the whole thing. xxoo

Pat | 2:16 PM

"Throwing a hotdog into the sky." Holy shit, girl. I wanna use that one. That's gonna become a classic.

KatBouska | 2:17 PM

You're the prettiest pregnant lady ever. Shaved or unshaved.

The Hojo Family | 2:20 PM

So I know this was just a teeny tiny sentance in your post, but do you CrossFit when not pregnant??

eva Woods | 2:28 PM

I haven't wanted to have another kid ever, but this post made my ovaries hurt.

Sarah | 2:35 PM

my nephew was poking around my belly the other day, and I told him that Aunt Sarah had a baby in there, so then he did too.

My conservative sis-in-law was THRILLED, let me tell you!

Those baby girls are so close, I can't wait!

Grandpa Norm | 2:38 PM

You are wonderful and your sense of humor... wow... I wish we could put it in the water supply.
Lots of love

Kathleen | 2:39 PM

Oh, the pelvic pain! My sons were 10 lbs. and 9 lbs. with gigantic heads (seriously, they were off the charts and I had them both vaginally) and with my second the pain in my pelvis started in my first trimester. By 20 weeks, my midwife sent me to a physical therapist. She prescribed a support belt for me that basically cinched by pelvis together since the ligaments had gotten so loose (I think my body just knew they would be big and my pelvis needed lots of room and looseness for the birth). It definitely helped, especially when walking and standing. During the last few months, I could essentially walk to get around but that was it. Otherwise, the pain was too intense. I can distinctly remember the immediate relief once my sons were born and all that weight was gone! Hope the pain doesn't get too much worse, or if it does, that you can find something that helps.

lastdogz | 2:45 PM

Hi I just kind of found your blog by clicking on a shutterfly ad. I was pretty excited to read that you're a week ahead in pregnancy, so now I kind of have a buddy in this, although I'm only carrying one girl. My 33rd birthday is next Monday, and I can tell you I have nothing so grand as Emmys to attend.
I had that awful pelvic pain with my first pregnancy, and it's starting now with this one. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is easy-going!
I loved the polkadot outfits, by the way.

Motherhood Uncensored | 2:46 PM

Um, who sent you weren't going big for your 30th?

Hehe.

Pregnant with twins humor right there for you.

You look fabulous!

Unknown | 2:49 PM

My son thinks everyone has a baby in his/her belly, too. But instead of feeding the babe, he gives her hugs and kisses and tries to peer into my belly button.

Adorbs baby girl clothes! I want to shop now.

Liz | 2:57 PM

Wow, this pregnancy really is going so fast! I turned 30 a few months ago and it really was kind of anticlimactic. Not really that big of a deal at all.

And speaking of being the pregnant lady at the party, I went to two bachelorette parties while pregnant. Let me tell you, drunk girls are not as hilarious when you're the sober one. Man.

Cheryl Lage | 3:03 PM

You look outrageously gorgeous plurally pregnant, and Fable looks equally fab feigning pregnancy! ;)

Coordinating clothes are where it's at. Bask in the bounty. :)

Haley | 3:18 PM

You're going to love the purple one piece. I have a couple like that with the zipper for my baby boy and it's so amazing not having to deal with a million snaps. The other one is cute enough that dealing with the snaps will be worth it, though. I just don't understand why there aren't more baby clothes with zippers like that.

Meghann | 3:24 PM

I seriously need to stop reading your blog. Its ridiculous, really. I swore I'd never have another child. You're making me rethink that. Ugh.
:)

rachelgab | 3:45 PM

I am also 29 and NOT a mom, nor am I pregnant and House Hunters International marathons are absolutely my favorite leisure activity! Whenever that is on, I can't get anything done because I am glued to the television, fascinated by the kinds of people who buy million dollar vacation homes in the Seychelles. Just saying, you're not alone.

Glenda | 3:50 PM

You look AMAZING!!! Woohoo the Emmy's...Congrats to HAL and celebrating your
30th!!! :) and I'm sure with your Maxi and all you'll look beautiful!!!

LOVE LOVE the outfits! How adorable is Fable feeding the girls lol. I love the coordinating clothes than the matchy match. After all they will be individuals / unique in their own ways! Love that!

whoorl | 3:51 PM

Looking good, mama!

robin | 3:59 PM

Fable is adorable. My daughter was also expecting when I was, but she had "kitties in my tummy!" I'm sorry about your pelvic pain...I had that, too, and it is definitely NO FUN!

Anonymous | 4:16 PM

FYI - the socks - You can buy compression socks, which have the added bonus of helping avoid varicose veins. I bought 'em for traveling to Europe from LA while I was 24 weeks, and they really helped. (That, or the fact I couldn't booze/pill like I usually do on a long flight). I think the brand I tried was Sigvaris; I had to order them from a medical supply site. Black/cotton, nothin' fancy but man did those suckers stay up!

Meg | 4:23 PM

This is like a fever dream of a rambletastic post AND I LOVE IT. My favorite ever. I can't even imagine how much I'll love the thirty week post... it's BLOWING MY MIND.

Till then, I'll ponder getting knocked up.

tam | 4:36 PM

Fable in the doorway! MORE!

Bekka Ross Russell | 4:40 PM

WHAT IS HAL'S SHOW?!? I've been trying really hard to find the answer in your archives and I've failed miserably.

Lauren | 5:00 PM

"the babies will shit themselves" made me full-on belly laugh.

Also, I'm 34 weeks (just the one fetus) and I HEAR YA on the pregnancy socks. I have this intense fantasy related to freezer-sock-booties. Like, those ice packs you can keep in the freezer that never totally freeze solid, just get really cold? Well, I want a pair of boots made out of those that reaches mid-calf. I can't believe that doesn't exist already, what with the boogie wipes and the paci wipes and the wipes to wipe your boogie wipes land of baby-related junk. FREEZER BOOTIES, I tell you. Let's patent that and make a million dollars.

cd0103 | 5:07 PM

@Rebecca Ross Rowell
I am trying to figure out what show is Hal's also.

Please share!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 5:24 PM

Oh! Sorry about that. I've linked to it before - he's a Producer on How Do I look, which is a makeover show on the Style Network.

Bekka Ross Russell | 5:29 PM

Thank you! And congratulations to Hal! I knew you'd linked to it once, I just was driving myself crazy trying to find it again.

Jessica | 5:43 PM

I understand the crotch pressure...I feel so beat by the time I go to bed and by the time I wake up it's probably even worse, laying on my side does nothing! That sucker is swollen for sure! It was not swollen this early with my first pregnancy with my son, and your carrying two, I can't even imagine how yours must feel!
My son also puts toys under my shirt and shares his "b"(blankie) with his brother! very cute!

Sarah Katie | 5:54 PM

You are looking great this week. It looks like you are a tad bit more comfortable. I don't want to be rude asking a question like this. but, has the bloating been less as of late?

Adrianne | 6:07 PM

So this is my first pregnancy and I'm definitely entering the "I can't see my vajayjay anymore" phase. I don't like it. Not one little bit!
Also? You said many weeks ago that twin pregnancy bumps look like a singleton 7 weeks ahead. So far that seems to be exactly right! I'm almost exactly 7 weeks ahead of you and our bellies look shockingly similar:)I'm guessing your legs don't look as cellulitey/gross as mine though. Yuck.

elizabeth | 6:20 PM

dying laughing!!! i'm 27 weeks pregnant with one baby girl and was just telling my friend about the weird pressure in the nether regions..
well i just laughed so hard i peed myself

my 3 year old thinks her sister is in her belly too; adorable age

thanks for the laughs xoxo

lonek8 | 6:48 PM

with my second I had weird shooting pains through my hip and groin area - like lightning shooting down my femur. Unpleasant to say the least.

You are looking gorgeous as always, and those next summer outfits are to die for!!

love love love to you and yours!

Anonymous | 7:03 PM

You will be happy to know that your vagina will bounce back just fine if you have natural delivery. I have four myself and mine is wonderful, just as it was before motherhood. This post might make some folks cringe, but I know you can take it.

Jen | 7:44 PM

Oh my was this lovely:). Happy 30th birthday momma! I didn't go big either, but was so thrilled to leave the drama-filled 20's behind it just felt big;). I'm certain you'll love this decade even more!

What you said about the quick progression from infanthood to toddlers to young men made my momma heart melt. My boy was just a baby yesterday, I swear. Then I turned around and today he's a bike-riding, tractor-loving, momma-hugger big boy of four! I love him more as he grows, but would love to rock that baby to sleep just one. More. Time. Sigh.

eskimojo | 8:07 PM

Fable is the cutest!

Post some pics of what you wear to the party - I'm sure you'll Macgyver something together and look stunning!

Pretzel Thief | 9:08 PM

Yaaaay for spaghetti squashes! Too cute. You're looking fabulous! And thanks for letting us know Hal's show in the comments!

Anonymous | 9:10 PM

Congrats on Hal's nomination! I'm sure you'll look amazing whatever you wear.

Unknown | 10:51 PM

"Which reminds me. Nursery curtains are halfway finished and they look SO CUTE you guys (pictures to come). The babies will shit themselves when they see how perfect they are!"

dude, hubby and i got a nice laugh out of that beauty. i love this blog and i'm so glad i get to read pregnancy post from such a kickass lady while i'm also pregnant.

heather... | 12:09 AM

Yeah, but there is NOTHING like getting kicked in the vagina the right way.

Good. Times.

Amanda X | 12:48 AM

I so know what you mean about feeling like you've been punched in the vagina EVERY day. When I delivered my first I broke my tail bone and sprained(?) my pelvis while in labor. 2 months later I was pregnant again and still sore. I hurt all the damn time that pregnancy! It is miserable. Here's hoping that you're nether regions will feel better! Try switching off with ice and heat.

xoxo

Abby | 5:32 AM

When I tell both my and the kids I babysit for there is a baby in my belly they look at me like I am an idiot. Or they laugh.

robyn L. | 6:43 AM

When my mom was pregnant with my brother, I thought I could see him waving to me through her navel. :)

P.S. How cute is Fable?! (And her mama!)

Mamacita | 7:41 AM

Congrats to Hal on the nomination. Which one is his show?

Ami | 8:08 AM

I second the reccommendations for that special kind of belt people are talking about. I had bad pain too, thanks to vaginal varicosities, with my almost 10-lb boy. It's wierd and I felt like a freak, but a freak with a less uncomfortable vagina.
I know other people think you sound funny in this post, and I get the humor, but I sense a little bit of humbuggery/sadness in there, too. Hang in there...three months is short, but can feel long when you're miserable.

grace | 9:36 AM

I've been meaning to leave you a comment, and this post is as good a place as any--I am LOVING your blog. I just started reading recently and it's fabulous.

Happy birthday!

DJ in Houston | 10:18 AM

Such a good picture of you and your daughter! You look amazing! The clothes you've picked out for your second child are so adorable!

Kate | 11:32 AM

Fable is just too precious for words. Your orb is gorgeous!
Rock on.

P.S. 30? A mere babe yourself!

Rachael Rossman | 11:54 AM

You are hands down the most adorable and stylish pregnant lady I've ever seen.

Anonymous | 2:33 PM

Ahh, I remember the twin pelvic pressure well. Soon you may not want to even ride in a car. The bumps in the road are incredibly magnified.

Thought of you today as I stumbled upon this website of covers of known songs by unknown artists. You may be familiar with it already, but if not, check it out: http://coversongarchive.blogspot.com/

Andrea | 2:34 PM

Love your updates. For what its worth, I used a prenatal cradle belt for my triplet pregnancy...I don't know if it really help with pelvic pain, but the same company has belts for that too....The prenatal cradle sort of redistributed the weight and takes the strain off of being so out of wack/lopsided, etc.

Best wishes for lots of smooth sailing weeks ahead of you. You look beautiful.

-Andrea

Sydney | 3:00 PM

You look fab this week, as ever. Glad you're doing these posts, a lovely way to reflect back on what will likely be your last pregnancy!

Big congrats to Hal, on the Emmy nod.

And lastly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy, however you choose to celebrate.

mom2nji | 3:15 PM

I am 22 weeks two with our first girl, LOVE seeing your updates. Dying to know the names you have picked out!

Anonymous | 6:23 PM

I am also 22 weeks pregnant with twins. They are mono-di so we are virtually certain they are identical. In another parallel of my life and yours, I turn 30 on Thursday. I am so glad my sister shared your blog with me. It is awesome to follow someone else's very similar pregnancy, plus you are hilarious. By the way, I would never have survived 7 hours at a theme park. Walking my dog has become difficult.

Ashley | 7:40 PM

Youuuu are beautiful. Seriously. I've never seen a better looking mama.

My Bottle's Up! | 7:55 PM

dang girl... DANG.

also, this post made me snort so loud that i woke up my dog who was sleeping at my feet.

you silly.

Missy | 5:03 AM

You look so friggen amazing. So naturally beautiful... YOU GO GIRL!!! I am so excited for your family... what a fun/exciting time in your lives. I can't wait to hear the names you have chosen!

Anonymous | 10:45 AM

I'm 9 mths pregnant and I feel feel like I've been kicked in the crotch too! My doctor said it's because my "pelvic floor" has dropped after my first kid. It's been going on since the second trimester. Glad to hear you're getting some rest while playing with the kids. I've found the only thing that helps is to rest & lay down on the couch. Then chase my 3 year old around the next day.

Arlene Marie | 12:39 PM

Well aren't you just one rockin' hot momma! You're an inspiration to women out there. Pregnancy doesn't have to mean, baggy clothes and fluffy dresses. You look awesome! Oh and you daughter is uber adorable. :)

freckletree | 3:44 PM

I can't tell you how in love I am with you after this post. I think because of those newborn sleepers and you can only hope that they will fill those out nicely so you won't have to buy preemie clothes at Walmart-- sorry, sometimes I forget that you are in LA and there are probably clothing stores JUST for preemies. My girls were 35 wks and both 5lbs6oz. And looked hideous in those tiny Walmart clownsuits.

Anyhow, you're still looking gorgeous and I'm so excited for you. Twins are beyond awesome after they're about 15 months. I don't remember before that. Holy cow they're so fun now-- it's all uphill, remember that.

And congratulations.

Katherine | 7:40 PM

Your blog is amazing- funny, intelligent, serious, and so very true- what a perfect picture of real life. Your daughter is beyond precious with her babies in her belly. And I hope to look half as good as you do when when I'm pregnant- even if there's only one in there.

Sarah Yost | 8:45 PM

Re: your painful nethers. Don't spread your legs any more than you have to. In fact, regularly squeeze your thighs together. The pubis loosens with the pregs hormones and rubs back and forth. Engaging the inner thighs is the best thing you can do for it. I did that this last pregnancy and the life of my nethers was so much more pleasant than the pregnancy before, when I didn't.

Danielle | 8:50 PM

You look great. You're so cute buying those babies little outfits.
Sorry about the pelvic pain, that sucks, there has to be something -besides birth of course for relief.

Shannon | 10:19 AM

awe we have been in San Diego since last Friday doing Lego land, etc. It is a good thing we didn't run into you I may have squealed out loud and embarrassed my family. I also spent my 30th pregnant, though I was in the throws of awful, awful morning sickness.

meredyth | 10:57 AM

Entourage of fetuses? HA! Also, Fable flinging food at your stomach? Sounds so pleasant! But adorable. This whole post had me laughing out loud when I wasn't awwwing at the cute matching/non matching clothes. Sooo pretty!

Ray | 9:57 PM

Since it's already Friday over here (in New York): "HAPPY 3-0, REBECCA!" You are SO effen' fab! Seriously. I adore you.

Loving the belly, as always. Those dresses for the girls are too-damn-cute! I can't wait till they're here already, but I'd understand why you'd want these last 3 and half months (how the heck did that happen?!?!?!) to go slow. Your pregnancy is ZOOMING by!! It's so insane!

"Stay in there for momma as long as you two can, girlies!" ;o)

oh, jenny mae | 8:31 AM

my girls used to tell me they had 5 and/or 20 babies in their bellies on any given day. fabes is fabs. i was just where you are when i went to a tenacious d concert when i was preggo with the girls. i got some crazy looks. it was funny. someone was nice enough to set up a chair for me in the vip area, though, so i could laugh my ass off while seated.