Twenty Weeks

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The other day someone congratulated me on my impending birth.

"Any day now!" they said.

"If May was October then yes, ABSOLUTELY YES!"

I can't believe I still have four plus months to go. I mean... I'm twenty weeks pregnant technically, but also, in a way, forty weeks pregnant because two times twenty = forty (I RULE at math!) and we must not discount the fact that two are indeed incubating in one oven. So, hi, I'm nine months pregnant.
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So THAT's why I've gained thirty pounds! Aha!

Moving on...

I went to the symphony with my sister Friday night and could barely sit still without dying. The pressure has suddenly become severe on my pelvis and my heartburn has, in the last few days, turned into full-fledged acid reflux which is terrible and gross. Thus far nothing has helped sans for chewing several sticks of gum at a time and sit-sleeping as not to choke on my own bile. Charming I am not, although happy I undoubtably am.
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These pictures are beyond ridiculous.

As you can see in the above TMI belly shot, the unitard has been retired. I may invest in a larger size that will stretch beyond infinity but I think I might be living in skirts and dresses for the rest of the summer. (I've already outgrown two of the three pairs of maternity jeans I own, oy.) In the meantime, or as long as I have the balls sacs to post them, I'll be showcasing the bare belly in all its growing glory. (Re: stretch marks. I've been lucky enough not to get them my last two pregnancies. Apparently stretch marks are hereditary although I am anticipating I may not be so lucky this go 'round. In the meantime, I'm applying Josie Maran's whipped Argan oil Body Butter twice a day and trying to master the not-yet-in-existence art of skin exercise.)

The nursery is coming together, crib is on its way and my mom's getting started on the curtains (which will be in completely different fabric than originally decided. I can't wait to show you! It's going to look amahzing.) My friend ended up having the EXACT same rug I was going to buy new from IKEA, homeless and rolled up in her garage, so now we have our rug free of charge + excellent vibes from one of our favorite families. My parents drove the rocking chair up this weekend and I've spent the last two nights rocking back and forth in this mess of a nursery/office, puking in my mouth and rubbing ye olde giant stomach.

I go in for my next ultrasound Wednesday to measure babies' parts/fluids on the high-tech machine with the perintologist. If this was a singleton pregnancy, this would be my second (of three) total ultrasounds but because of the twin pregnancy, it's my zillionth. Quietly, I'm loving being able to spy on my womb mates. Hal and I were joking that by the time our kids are having kids, they'll have micro-cameras in their body cavities allowing them to watch their entire pregnancies on giant robot-screens, narrated by their generation's Morgan Freeman, and I'll be like, "when I was your age I had to drive five miles to see a HUMAN technician with cold hands..."

For now there's the following Babycenter diagram, featuring the babies as they look today, banana sized and kicking ass belly.
Twin babies, fetuses at 20 weeks - BabyCenter

As many of you know, every pregnant woman has a sign on her bod that says, "Feel free to talk to me about my uterus!" and also one that says "Ask how long I plan to breastfeed!" and another one that says "Please, I beg of you, tell me all about your unmedicated home birth and how I should do the same thing!" but my favorite unsolicited advice yet came Friday night during dinner.

My sister and I had just settled into our quinoa and vegan "cheese" covered potatoes at a local vegan eatery (which is AMAZING by the way, you should definitely go eat there immediately) when a beautiful dreadlocked bra-less woman approached our table with a makeshift note. She had seen me come in to the restaurant and HAD to tell me about the documentary that changed her life and that would surely change mine. She even went so far as to write me CliffsNotes on the back of a receipt.
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She was desperate for me to give birth at a camp in the Black Sea and when I told her, "That sounds amazing! I'd TOTALLY be down to do that but you see, I'm having twins, so it wouldn't be safe for me to...."

"Nononononono!" she interrupted. "Twin births are no problem for Black Sea-birthers! It's the way nature intended!"

Apparently there were twins in the documentary, birthed naturally with the assistance of nature's own midwife dolphins.

I'll admit, I did check out some information on the doc and it looked undoubtably fascinating but, um,.... yeah, not for me. I'm perfectly comfortable utilizing modern conveniences like hospitals, epidurals, postpartum cotton underwear with built-in-icepacks...

My ideal birth experience = giving birth to healthy babies with as little postpartum discomfort as possible (which is why I'm going for a vaginal birth as long as baby A isn't breach. As in breach position, not leaping dolphins). That being said, in my next life, I'm very interested in attending Black Sea Dolphin Doula birth camp and will be taking the generous stranger's notes with me to the afterlife via my freestyle canoe.

Until then, I remain humbly... twenty forty weeks pregnant.
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you grow girls!

For those who inquired about my charm necklace, I posted about it, here. And thankfully for me, there is room on the necklace for two more names. Also, thanks for all your incredible comments on the name post. That was a fun one.

GGC

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54 comments:

Khali | 9:27 PM

AMAZING! AMAZING! You truly are. I could only grow one baby at a time so I'm in total awe of you... especially because you remain so funny and articulate while doing so.

Caley | 9:27 PM

You look awesome! Makes me want to be prego again...

And midwife dolphins? WTF???

Charlie | 9:29 PM

Very, very rad. Wish my wife would've let me take more photos. Alternately fascinating and breathtaking how beautiful women are during preggos.

flyrish | 9:36 PM

Love the belly pics! (Also, I desperately need a maxi skirt.)

Um, peeps are crazy when it comes to thinking your pregnancy is their business. I'm intrigued by the midwife dolphins, though. Very.

WasStephHere | 10:03 PM

I am so glad you gave a shout out to the post delivery cotton (mesh) panties w/the built in ice pack. HOLLA!!!

Does your hospital give you the little cans of Dermoplast? I swear, that little can was my savior!
Then again, I had a 3rd degree tear, despite an episiotomy after my little bundle of (shoulders wider than her head) joy came into this world. ;-)

All of the belly pics are great, but the last photo is absolutely amazing. <3

One | 10:08 PM

I love the posts that update your readers on the twins! Ijust wanted to pass along a tip that a friend of mine learned while pregnant - Skittles help heartburn. It is odd, yes. She was an avid taker of Tums while pregnant and one day she ran out and I had Skittles and the rest is history. She would eat them on her way home from work and she said they helped a lot.

Jack's Mama | 10:21 PM

The bare belly shots are very impressive, and I'm impressed you never got stretch marks! I'm impressed you gave vaginal birth! I had to switch doctors after my forced c-section but I won't get into that. I've commented before that my mom had me and my twin sister via c-section, it was because my sister, twin A was traverse. It was her first pregnancy so she just went with it. You have two vaginal births under your belt, I'm sure you will have a very high chance of a vaginal birth for twins, yay!
I'll keep my mouth shut about stretch marks and pray you don't get them! Take care!

Stef | 11:31 PM

Wow...that freestyle canoeing competish was really something else. Who knew that was a thing?

I first heard about dolphin births on an episode of Penn and Teller I randomly saw once. I guess as weird as dolphin midwifery seems to others, I've had time to process it, so right now I'm just intrigued by the wacky world of freestyle canoeing.

Pretzel Thief | 1:05 AM

Ugh, sorry about the acid reflux, dude, that blows. Beat it, reflux! Here's hoping it eases and/or goes away, post-haste!

Can't comment on any of the photos (work comp blocks them, d'oh!) but I'm sure you look fabulous. And fingers crossed no stretch marks this time around, either!

Jiffer Bourguignon | 2:03 AM

Your pics totally take me back... I went to week 36-7 in my twin pregnancy before those little red lines started emitting from my navel. Convinced that I wouldn't get them because I had genetics on my side, I pretended they were scratch marks from my too tight elastic waistband. Sadly stretch marks got me, BUT I got all the way to week 40 and delivered naturally (read vaginally, with epidural, without dolphins) baby A who was head down and weighed 8 freaking pounds and baby B who was turned from his breech position by my amazing doctor 10 minutes after his sister came out. He emerged minutes later in all of his 7 pound glory. Looks like you might be heading in the same direction!

Betts | 3:53 AM

You look absolutely beautiful, and this had me laughing out loud.

Emily | 4:44 AM

Not sure which thing astonishes me more, midwife dolphins or icepack panties. Wasn't aware that technology existed yet!
I remember sit-sleeping, yuck... My dr told me to take Zantac throughout my 2nd and 3rd trimester and it helped somewhat.
You're looking fantastic as always!

the grumbles | 6:09 AM

WHAT? I am totally into all that natural birthing shit and I have never heard of this dolphin birth nonsense! I can't believe it! MIDWIFE DOLPHINS FTW!

(and a note, really? have the balls to come up and talk about it face to face if you're going to pitch something that kooky.)

BookishPenguin | 6:35 AM

1 - LOVE that skirt. Looooove it.

2 - I would have loved to hear what you said to the woman who said you were due any day now. LOL People just really don't always think before they speak.

L.L. | 6:43 AM

That note is hysterical. Its the exclamation mark that gets me, I just know I am going to randomly exclaim "midwife dolphins!" all day now :)

Elizabeth | 7:35 AM

You look great!!!

For the reflux: Mix a few TBS of apple cider vinegar with water (and a pinch of stevia or agave for flavor/sweetness) and drink before/with meals. It works! Also, Traditional Medicinal's Throat Coat Tea.

Courtney | 7:55 AM

You look amazing!

I had TERRIBLE acid reflux when I was pregnant and the only that helped was eating a butt load of carrots. (That and extra strength Zantac every day.)

Seemed to be the only thing that kept the bile down and not triggering my gag reflex. I think I was eating about 2 lbs of carrots a week! I thought my baby was going to come out orange. :)

Molly | 7:57 AM

You look totally sexy and awesome! Love the skirts idea for the rest of the summer.

Beth | 8:01 AM

You look absolutely beautiful! I've decided that I want your maternity style pretty much all year round. And now I have another documentary to catch...

Mrs. Q. | 8:08 AM

You look amazing.

Good luck to you and your girls in whatever birth route you choose. For my daughter, I had an vaginal footling breech birth, unmedicated. Yeah, that was certainly unexpected, but it can be done. Those babies have their own plans, so just enjoy the ride.

Thanks for sharing your journey.

Amy J | 9:00 AM

The Blue Chamomile lotion bar from Kaeli's is amazing for making rapidly-expanding skin more comfortable. I think it helped me avoid stretch marks. I KNOW it is the only thing that made me less itchy in the belly-region while I was pregnant. There used to be a store in LA but I think she's all mail-order now.
http://www.kaelibodycare.com/catalogue2_3_2.html

oh, jenny mae | 9:52 AM

ok. now i have to get pregnant again just so i can give birth via dolphin midwives!! good thing i'm ovulating!

seeing your gorgeous pics makes me wish i had more photos of me when i was pregnant with the girls.

this was me at about the same time. horrible pic, but look at those beautiful corduroy maternity pants! size large! that only fit for another month!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mommymae/3040998981/in/photostream

-mommymae

Anonymous | 10:18 AM

You made me laugh and laugh!
Karen

Liz | 10:40 AM

I recently found your blog through becomingsarah and our twins must be due about the same day (Oct. 17th). I am a bit inexperienced at this since these are my first and second. You are looking great and seeing your huge twin belly makes me feel more confident about my own :)

Stephanie | 11:05 AM

wow. where did you find that freestyle canoe video?

you're looking great! :)

The Stetson Family | 11:26 AM

From this Triplet Momma: Prilosec for the heartburn. Yes sitting sucks. Lots of love to you and the bebes.

simplicityoflife.com | 11:38 AM

You still look amazing!!

Amanda | 11:43 AM

Pure magic, seriously. Loved this and I covet your green door.

sanctimomious | 12:22 PM

You know how the Dr's measure you tummy to see how many weeks you are and 1cm= 1 week. When I had my twins (at 34 weeks) I was measuring 54cms. I was 14 weeks overdue. :P Just found your blog and I LOVE it!! Congrats on your babes!

Alex | 1:31 PM

Could that canoe video be any more fantastic? And is it wrong I wanted to see him slip?

I'm intrigued enough to order this birthing dolphins video, but wonder if they have it on Netflix or at the red box???

Joanna | 1:46 PM

They have post-partum knickers with a spot for an ice pack? Wow. I lived for dermoplast, myself. And I totally have to look up midwife dolphins now.

Lovely belly. :)

Sarah | 2:13 PM

There is no way you have gained 30 pounds, your belly is the only place that looks any different.

And yes, in 6 months, you may say the exact same thing to me!

Grandpa Norm | 2:39 PM

It isn't often I am speechless, but the twenty week moment has me absolutely silent. I often have food revisiting the upper areas, but the standard stuff works. In the old days a solution was whole milk, but those days are over I guess.
So - hang in and be strong.

Jackie | 3:45 PM

OK, so I know how annoying it is to received unsolicited advice, but I had terrible heartburn before I got pregnant and I found a combination of things that really helped that I continued through my pregnancy: 1) acupuncture; 2) eating a few raw almonds; 3) eating an apple or part of an apple - esp. Granny Smith; and 4) apple cider vinegar. Oddly, sipping at 1/2 tsp. of straight cider vinegar really helped me - it burns like fuck, so go slow, but it seems to burn the acid reflux away. You can also make salad dressing with it. If you find it too strong no matter what, then don't use it and stick to the almonds and apples!

jessica | 3:52 PM

i saw elimination communication on the note and have you heard of this yet? it's insane!! i mean if you have absolutely nothing else to do except wait for your child to piss over a pot then go for it but me thinks with twins plus 2? not a chance in hail.
and stretch marks- didn't get them with the first one (7lbs 11 oz) got them big time with the second (9 lbs 5 oz.) big difference a couple of pounds made. or was it that i didn't apply cocoa butter religiously with the second as i had with the first? i will never know (or stop kicking myself!) but the first pregnancy was a bad time and i couldnt stand the smell of cocoa butter because it reminded me. weird i know but whatever.

jessica | 3:53 PM

oh and enough about me, you look mahvelous!

Marilyn | 4:05 PM

So, this feels like unsolicited advice, and I wish I could write it down for you on the back of a receipt, but have you tried eating almonds to help your heartburn? I heard about it somewhere, and during my pregnancies I've just eaten a little handful of almonds before bed or when I'm feeling yucky/throw-up-in-mouth-y, and it really helps a LOT.

Oh, and I just read through the other comments, and apparently there are lots of heartburn helps we are just dying to share. I hope one of them works for you :)

Amanda | 4:50 PM

Well I know Midwife Dolphins is my band name of the day now! Loving these posts. Despite the fact that I'm toooootally not in the market for another baby, I enjoy watching chicks rock the bump like nobodies biznass.

sarah | 6:02 PM

I had the nighttime choking on vomit when I ate after 7pm. Dairy or cookies in particular would revisit my mouth all night long. Eating an orange and some pretzels (rods rule)for a snack by 8:30 actually helped the indigestion.

Good luck - you look fantastic!

Tirzah Hochreiter | 6:29 PM

It really bugs me to hear stories of women trying to persuade other women to do things "the right way". I am a doula, and maybe I am a bad one, because I sincerely believe that we should all have the right to birth where we want to and how we want to. If it makes you feel most safe to birth in a hospital, so be it dammit! I know these women mean well and all, but come on. This is your third pregnancy, I think you have a pretty good grip on what you do and do not want.

PS you are gorgeous! Can't wait until my belly is that big and beautiful!

Ray | 9:50 PM

First-off: I'm loving the belly! There's just something so beautiful about a pregnant woman (don't think I'm weird. LOL!).

Secondly: How are you five months already?! Goodness! Time is zooming by.

Third: Giving birth with Dolphins as mid-wifes?! Crazy. I'm all for a water birth, but something about that is just...wow. So many different options, but good for you for knowing what you want. Natural birth all the way (in a hospital. Heh)! Hope you get it! ;o)

sarah | 11:44 PM

Dolphin midwives? Yikes. I'm all for homebirth (we had it all set up before finding out we were having twins, upon which we promptly found an OB and a hospital!) but that's where I draw the line.
Sorry about the yucky stuff, just wanted to say I totally empathize. I wore this thing for the last couple months of my pregnancy under my clothes that basically held my belly up a little bit so I could walk/sit/not feel like I was going to die. :/ I highly recommend it! And you need a giant u-shaped pillow too. Seriously.
It's a good thing twins are so freaking cute. ;)

cara | 1:06 AM

You look AMAZING. So beautiful. You almost make me reminisce about being 20 weeks pregnant x 2.

Heidi | 4:50 AM

HA! Love your story about the woman coming up to you and sharing the note. People are ridiculous on so many levels.
It is refreshing to me when someone shares a similar point of view about birth etc.
My boys were both preemies so I grew a fondness for hospitals at this time, they saved their lives.
ps. You look AMAZING!

Jaci | 6:00 AM

My least favorite comments when I was pregnant with my twins were those along the lines of "you must be due any day!"...starting when I was about 20 weeks, grrr!

My NEXT least favorite: "Were you on fertility drugs?"
I usually just answered: No, my husband and I just have sex A LOT!

Glenda | 11:58 AM

You look AMAZING!!!

Anonymous | 6:14 PM

OMG! I LOVE your belly - I can't even fathom the magic that is happing inside! I have only one sweet boy who I adore! Love your blog and your book and so very happy for you - love your fashion posts as well. I always end up reading your blog mid week when I need to unwind (and try to force work out of my mind) and have a glass of wine and smile...thanks Rebecca!

W | 7:05 PM

Just discovered you blog through - you can't name it it. I too am pregnant with twin girls (26 weeks)
I live in LA also (please keep letting us know where you find your dresses!)
My belly looks much the same .. and I think it's the biggest I got with my son.. so I feel I will be really huge by the end!
Before I found out I had suprise twins I was hoping for a homebirth ;0)
but welcome the excuse for an epidural :)
Best of luck and I really enjoyed your blog!

Anonymous | 11:06 AM

even though you think you look 40 weeks, i think you still look pretty small. You certainly look pregnant, and more than 20 weeks but not full term looking yet. I had a big baby. I talked to a mother of twins and we found that my one baby was the weight of her two combined. So on the up side those heads will be smaller!

aly. | 1:51 PM

This blogger at The Stir totally took your story and didn't give you credit.

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/121196/dolphin_midwives_better_than_your?utm_medium=sm&utm_source=rss&utm_content=baby_rssfeed#comments

Dani | 5:38 PM

um, hello, you. are. beautiful. like, stunning. wowza!

annabelvita | 9:37 AM

My stepdad used to get bad acid reflux and ended up propping the head of their bed up about 4 or 5 inches, it seemed to help.
Are dolphin midwives covered by insurance?

JBirch22 | 11:39 AM

This completely contradicts a major point of this post, haha, butttt if you're interested in a documentary that isn't quite so "out there" what with the midwife dolphins and the elimination communication, you should check out "The Business of Being Born"... it offers a really educated and much needed new perspective about birth in America.

JUST SAYIN' :D Congrats on the 40-week-ness! Lookin' good!

HLEure | 7:35 AM

You look fabulous! I adore your skirt. Where did you get it from? I just know you are going to say someone made it...Alas...