Boheme & Reverie, Eight Months

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I'm a week late with this, which might just be the way things are for a while. Last week was an emotional one for me and I realized that a lot of it stems from the fact that we are moments away from being legitimate home owners. For some reason, marriage never felt like a commitment to me. I think because our wedding was a hysterical joke. We got married in jest. And although we've managed to rock this thing for seven and a half years, I have never felt "tied down" to my husband. More like "loose drawstring(ed) to". And kids, sure. Kids are a commitment for life. But they're pretty easy to be committed to, in my experience. I don't have to hustle to love them and even though some of them do not sleep, taking care of them is pretty much a no-brainer at this point. 

But home-ownership? Thirty-year mortgage? HOLYI'MANADULTNOW SHIT. It's scary, man. Exciting, yes, but scary. Maybe it's because we got married and had a kid before we knew whether or not we wanted to be together. We didn't have time to family plan, to get our ducks in a row. TODAY. We're sitting down at a table, surrounded by screaming kids pledging to thirty-year mortgage each other. 

"...You may kiss the paperwork."

So, this isn't JUST about me closing the last book in a trilogy of decades. It's also about opening a new one, that includes hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. It's about my fear of commitment, my inability to stand still, my want to wander... It's about sitting down with myself and recognizing that this is our next step as a family and we are READY to do this. We can afford to do this! We are doing this!

Anyway. Once again I have taken a post that was supposed to be about one thing and turned it into something else. But, here we are, eight months into Boheme and Reverie's life and besides them crawling and clapping and and and and... we're also about to move. And I'm slowly packing things up and trying to color coordinate my thoughts so that I can recognize my fears and invite them for tea. 

Here, fears. Have a cucumber sandwich! More sugar? 


There.

And now for a hundred thousand baby pictures.
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In the last couple of weeks Reverie's eyes have gone from grey to green. She's the only one of our kids with eyes to match Hal's and mine. Fable's are brown, Archer's are hazel and with Bo's blues we have all our bases covered. I love that. Four completely different windows to ze souls of ze children.  
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We can't figure out where Bo's blues come from (I don't recall a threesome with the UPS guy) but they're definitely invited to the party.
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She's still intense as she's always been but softer, happier, peaceful... She reminds me of Archer as a baby, how he'd read everyone with his eyes. She's cautious and careful and as of last week, can clap her little hands. And SHE IS PROUD of that. Extremely proud. She is proud and giggly and easy. Hugs with both hands, falls asleep instantly with a face next to hers.
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She is love to the nth power, sensitive and friendly, smiles for all, will sit quietly on laps, cling to fingers, coo and watch the birds out the window... 
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IMG_3368 She's always laughing, mainly for no reason, sometimes hysterically because life is a hoot. IMG_3229
She's very happy being a person, contrary to what those early months suggested. A HUGE relief. 
photo-5 ... Happy. And serious. 
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And happy.
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Then there's Revi.
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Oh, boy. This one... 
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This one is a HAND. FUL. IMG_3297
It's funny looking back on some of these earlier posts when Bo was impossible and Revi was the easiest baby in the history of babies because EVERYONE told me. "You wait! They'll switch." And, even though, at their core, they're still the same babies: Revi, independent and Bo, who does NOT like to be alone, even for a moment, but Revi's infancy was a guise, I think, for this little person who HAS ARRIVED. Revi is a force. That "i" in her name, an addition that makes perfect sense given it is but an upside down exclamation point.
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She's always had a twinkle in her eye and those first hours I spent with her in the NICU, her eyes WIDE open I remember thinking, "Oh, this one. This one is our impish little dickens."
IMG_3331 She's also unbearably cute. IMG_3352
She's playful and interested in everything. Except for strangers. Strange faces make her hysterical and in recent weeks has become very attached to me. I've probably enabled it more than I should have. All those early months with Bo and I felt guilty for spending minimal time with Revi but we are MORE THAN MAKING UP FOR THAT TIME NOW I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 
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Where Bo will happily snag a lap and sit there for hours, Revi has no time for snuggles or cuddles or rocks. She is awake pretty much all day and while she is wants to touch and kick and bang her head into every single corner that exists and grab and play and not sleep and crawl into boxes and hide there and eat paper and andand...

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Bo is Ferdinand the Bull:
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and Revi is a bull in a china shop. 
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The other day, when (under miraculous circumstances) both babies were asleep at the same time, Archer looked around at the four of us and said, "Remember when this was our family? That was so weird."

I knew what he meant because it was kind of... weird. I can't even begin to remember life without them. And for all my nostalgic craziness lately, my sleepless nights and whackadoo-ness, I have zero desire to imagine life without them.

Our four were meant to be siblings and Hal and I were meant to be their parents. That is perhaps the only thing I have ever in my life been completely sure of.
IMG_3360 photo-2 "Hooray for eight months!"
IMG_3381 Hip, hip...

***
seven months
six months
five months
four months
three months
two months
one month
one week old.

***

GGC

35 comments:

Steph(anie) | 3:14 PM

First, let Revi be clinging. The stranger thing is a completely normal developmental stage. Second, the picture of Hal and Bo asleep killed me dead.

Katie Lee | 3:25 PM

What a perfect post that describes your life right now. You will look back at this time in years to come and say "oh yeah" and it will be unrecognizable to your life at the moment. Thanks for sharing and no thanks for making me want babies. Must. Wait. Longer.

Katie | 3:26 PM

HOORAY!!! Happy eighth month to all six of you!!!

RachelWoolf | 3:37 PM

Absolutely Beautiful. Crying over here. Can't wait to see everyone!

<3
roo

accidentaldevotional | 3:45 PM

I can't help but think Bo's sensitive peaceful self needed a couple months with you ensuring her it was okay to be her. She was reassured enough it was safe. Now she is ready to be her.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 3:49 PM

@accidentaldevotional Agreed. :)

Ellen | 3:54 PM

I started reading your blog when Fable was a baby and I thought then - wow this lady makes the most beautiful children. These two are just as insanely adorable as the first two.
Congratulations and good luck with the house buying/moving!

MommyNamedApril | 4:27 PM

houses can be sold. not to worry. you are only as tied down as you believe yourself to be.

Korinthia Klein | 4:51 PM

Such a beautiful post! Your children are all so lovely and lucky to have you there to appreciate everything about them that makes them special. Thanks for sharing so many pictures.

glenda | 4:57 PM

Happy 8 mos beautiful baby girls.
So happy for you and your family!

Zoe | 5:02 PM

I'm with you on the whole "holyfuckingshitweboughtahouse" business being a huger deal than having kids. We're having our bathroom redone right now, and I still expect my mum to show up and ask us what the hell we think we're doing. It's hard work, taking care of a home, but kids? Just give 'em food, shelter, and a whole lot of love, and they're good. And so, so wonderful. As long as I have my husband and my kids with me, I could live in a cave.

BusyMomofTwins | 5:37 PM

Thank you for this post and for being honest about how frightening home ownership is. So many just act like making this big purchase is just part of life but I feel it is a big commitment and one that does tie you down. Thank you for your honesty and for having a minute to write. I have no idea how you find the time. I definitely did not have the time when my twins were 8 months old!

Sarah | 7:08 PM

I love reading posts like this, because I know that my family is going to be this big someday, and I just can't wait.

Megan | 8:02 PM

Eye colour and who gets what is so interesting! I'd be digging around to find out who had the blue eyes and how far back they go :-)
Also, love, love, love the nose crinkle smile photos! Those are my favourite smiles from my nearly 8mo.

Can't wait to hear the details about the house!

Micheline Ludwick | 9:23 PM

That shot of Hal and Bo made me want to jump into the crib with my 8 month old. She's a total face nuzzler and I love it.

R & B are too much fun. I love the intensity in both of their eyes and the way their little personalities are manifesting. It's incredible to be on this evolving twin journey with you. And this probably sounds crazy, but I feel like my girl born just 2 days before yours is like the triplet as I watch all three growing at the same time.

gemini-girl | 1:29 AM

Your family is beautiful.
What I can say is, my girls did a 180 from their tempermants as infants. They switched roles as if one day, they made a pact between them to switch and confuse us.

gnimaerd | 3:42 AM

Interesting fact: eye-colour wise it's actually Fable's brown eyes, rather than Bo's blue eyes, that are the phenomenon - two people with green eyes can contribute a spectrum of genes to have kids with hazel to blue eyes and every shade in between, but it's VERY unusual for two people with green eyes to have a brown-eyed kid, because brown is a dominant gene (ie: in most cases one parent has to have brown eyes for the child to have brown eyes because blue/green eyes carry no brown eyed genes). For you two to have a child with brown eyes, a series of mutations will have to have taken place, first in you or Hal to 'break' a brown eyed gene so it's present but not effective and then in Fable to 'fix' the broken brown-eyed gene that was passed along so that it becomes effective again and gives her brown eyes. The odds of that happening are pretty small - Fable's truly one in a million! (not that you didn't already know that. :P)

Connie | 6:12 AM

No worries, lady. The night before our closing, I took a detour after work and drove to my parents' house, where I crumbled into a little heap of freaked out tears. It's a very big deal-the paperwork, and finances, and being wildly in love with your home-to-be, and it's just intense. Even the happiest of upcoming new chapters can contain some wierd emotions as the current chapter ends. You can grant yourself that, I think. The elbow room to process what this home stands for.

Congrats! Here's to a smooth closing.

Shawna | 7:34 AM

I love you photos. I do want to warn you though, Bo's eyes can still change. Apparently eye color can change up until 2 years of age, Who knew? My daughter had blue eyes until she was about 18 months old. And then they very slowly got darker until now they are the brown of her daddy's eyes. So now while I'm excited to see both of my twin boys have blue eyes like me.. I know I will have to wait to see if they change as well.

Susan | 7:48 AM

Wow, that comment about eye color dominance was very interesting, gnimaerd!

@GGC, I think if I read enough of your posts and look at enough pictures of your kiddos on Instagram, I miiight consent to have a second baby. My husband will be very pleased. I keep thinking I'm done, and it's only on rare occasions (like when I read your blog) that I feel otherwise. So, thanks!

Sara | 8:08 AM

Oh my, they are so adorable. And your Bo's eyes are just like my little girl's! She's almost exactly the same (gestational) age your twins are, I think I remember us originally being due the same day, until you found out yours were twins. It is funny to see how much an extra month outside and a couple awesome siblings will do, my little one still has very little desire to go anywhere.

I adore the one of Bo coming out from under the crib with the most ecstatic smile.

Arnebya | 8:54 AM

I'll echo an earlier commenter: we go into the houses w/the 30 year "commitment" and then shit changes. We get better jobs, circumstances/situations change, family size increase (ha! Look at your cute "as if" face). Take it a day at a time w/the house and the babies (and everything else: marriage, Archer, Fable, packing). What else is there really?

Also, HOW IN THE ABSOLUTE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT TELL MY HUSBAND WE HAVE GOT TO HAVE ANOTHER AFTER LOOKING AT THAT REVI TONGUE PIC? HOW I ASK YOU!

Sherry Bruck | 9:24 AM

The babes are absolutely gorgeous! Love to you all!

Sherry Bruck | 9:24 AM

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Elizabeth | 10:30 AM

I love these. Please don't ever stop posting pictures of your babies, I cannot get enough.

Credence@Toddlerisms | 2:35 PM

The blue eyes are beautiful! My brown-eyed husband TOTALLY gave hazel-eyed me the side-eye when we had our blue-eyed son. They just pop up sometimes! (We also have two dark-eyed babies, finishing off with a blue-eyed girl who looks just like her big brother.)

Andrea | 5:32 PM

Best of luck with your home situation. I love the photo reminiscent of The Shining

Mel | 8:41 PM

That first photo of Revi throwing the bottle just cracks me up. At least the babies are still cute while doing their mischief!

My partner really wants kids, and I've never been too keen on them, but seeing that photo of Hal and Bo asleep togetether puts all sorts of ideas into my brain.

robin | 9:24 PM

Hal and Bo sleeping? Oh. My. God.

Chasing Joy | 8:18 AM

BEAUTIFUL PICTURES. a mortgage is scary but its also a great source of pride to own something.

That is cool about the baby's eyes turning color.

Katie | 9:01 AM

That last paragraph made me cry- I believe the same thing for my 2 kids and the one waiting in the wings. Bo looks EXACTLY like you but with less hair. They're all so beautiful.

Kitty | 12:15 PM

Rebecca,

I wondered if you had seen any material by Carol Tuttle on energy profiling? The tools she provides have been very helpful with my granddaughters. Even at a few months old, children begin to move with their dominant energy type. It's so much easier to understand their intention and wants when you understand the energy they are bringing. I highly recommend it. There are books but I find the free youtube videos to be super informative. And the weekly radio show on parenting the types of energy profiles.

bwankel | 12:27 PM

I'm sure you get this all the time, but it's so amazing how one little gal looks so much like you, and the other so much like Hal. Both so beautiful though :)

Aurora | 1:43 PM

It's so funny reading your blog sometimes because so often you write about things that I'm either going through now or just finished navigating. We too bought a house a couple months ago and it TERRIFIED me, in fact I felt like throwing up 24/7 until it was done and then even a couple weeks after that. Nobody could understand why it freaked me out so much, but like you I fell into motherhood and marriage having only known my husband 3 mos before that first positive test. Good luck to you and your loves, I'm sure Esteban will fit you perfectly just as our home fits us.

PS. Hope I didn't scare you and your momma too much way back in December when I creeped up to say Hi by the REI in Encinitas!

Jes | 5:40 PM

Beautiful pictures. Seriously, just lovely!