Meredith Viera Was Right, Moms Should Not Drink

Last night (actually it was several nights ago. I've been MIA and unable to post) I was a teensy bit loaded, and therefore full of brilliant ideas.

One of which was, that it would be awesome-rad for me to buy every available url with the word "poop" in it. For Archer. As a 16th birthday present.

Keep in mind, I was not sober. Also keep in mind that when I get a few drinks in me I enjoy perusing the internet for potential awesome website names, like for instance: cameltoejams.com, which is available. Cameltoejam.com has (sadly) been taken.

My husband and I bonded over our mutual need to own random website names. (I owned trapperkeepers.com for years, as well as trapperkeepersoftheabyss.com as well as countless others I have since retired.)

I'm notorious for spending insane amounts of money on late-night infomercials and in my pre-baby days, would come home from the bars and buy whatever the hell was being sold to me on whatever channel happened to be on when I flipped on the TV. Thighmaster? Check. Trimspa? (RIP Anna Nicole) Check. Beavis and Butthead: The Box Set? Check. The thing that's supposed to be like drycleaning your clothes in the laundry, but really not even close? Check. The list goes on. And on. (And on.)

But the other night, I merged my drunk-as-a-skunk shopping needs with my love of twisted website urls with my love for my child. And thought, "I know what I'll get Archer for his 16th birthday! Urls with the word POOP! in them! Yeah. Alright! Good thinking!

The following I thought were EXTRA good:

pooponaplate.net
gourmetpoop.com
poopinthetoilet.net
poopthereitis.org
poopymess.uk
lumpypoosoup.com
and of course... mustardpoopinasandwich.com

Yes, indeed. Shopping. For poop sites. For my 20-month-old son's 16th birthday.

Yeah... I'm going to go ahead and side with Meredith on this one.

Moms shouldn't drink. If they're me.

GGC

25 comments:

Velma | 2:50 PM

Can you believe I came over here to read about poop after just having been reading someone else's blog entries about...POOP? Should I watch where I step today?

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 2:54 PM

Probably.

joy | 3:07 PM

My best friend sometimes affectionately refers to her 5-year-old son as "my poop", as in "Mom can we read a book?" "Yes, my poop." I once suggested soon he may raise his eyebrows at the nickname, when he declared "I think she calls me her poop cuz I came out of her butt."

p.s. I love your writing, love your blog, and admire your perspective on parenting, people, and this whole mess called life. :)

Domenica | 3:09 PM

you're funny.

ECR | 4:04 PM

Could be more lucrative than savings bonds.

I wonder what the odds are that he'll sell me poopymess.uk in 15 years?

Liz | 4:27 PM

I am going to invite you and the gang over for a brunch made solely from As Seen On TV products - Omelettes a la the EggWave, Perfect Pancake Maker pancakes, Magic Bullet smoothies...we'll be eating for days!

Scarlett | 4:32 PM

I love As Seen On TV products. All I do in the hospital is shop online or from the tv. all day every day. gotta love it.

Mamma | 4:46 PM

Wow!! You're one of those always prepared moms huh? I feel so inadequate...

Dad Gone Mad | 4:52 PM

I'll have what you're having.

Mrs. Davis | 5:18 PM

Years ago, my husband and I had a dog named Poop.

And I would bet if Meredith Viera ever met you, her head would explode.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 5:33 PM

Oh. My. God. Poop is the best dog name ever.

Oh and Liz, I'm waiting by the phone for the invite, grrrrrrl.

Leigh C. | 6:35 PM

My vote is for poopthereitis.

That is just too cute, and it has a good dose of the quasi-hip-hop reference - enough to make for a truly embarrasing 16th birthday present from Mom.

Damn, you're good ! 8-)

Mom101 | 8:05 PM

Let's face it, you're not a mom, you're the coooool mom. Like Amy Poheler in Mean Girls.

Bluepaintred | 8:06 PM

oh man lol. and i was excited to just buy a regular URL LMAO

Jonathon | 10:17 PM

best 16th birthday present ever. "yeah, my friends got a car, but i got these KICK ASS WEBSITES ABOUT POOP!"

alice | 1:33 AM

although cheese.com, cheesecheese.com, AND cheesecheesecheese.com are all taken, cheesecheesecheesecheese.com is still available. if you want something a little more palatable, that is.

Lainey-Paney | 7:48 AM

OMG you're too funny.

It's amazing...this wonderful thing we call the internet.
The possibilities just seem endless....

~L

Rock the Cradle | 10:24 AM

It must be something in the wind...

Today the Impling started singing "the Itsey Bitsey Spider" in her little chirpy voice while I was changing her. She decided to play with the lyrics.

"Dee itsy bitsy poopie
cwimbed up de wawhtoow poopie.

Daown came de poopie..."

So we're into the poop jokes. And now we know...they just never stop being funny, do they?

My vote's for lumpypoosoup.com. It just sort of rolls off the...tongue.

Kristi | 12:27 PM

Mustardpoopinasandwich. Only if it's dijon.

gingajoy | 1:05 PM

uhm. ok. how much are you asking for poopymess.uk? because I seriously need that one. can't say why. but i do.

Joker The Lurcher | 9:06 PM

fantastic! what a brilliant idea! this is going to bug me now until i purchase some mad domains myself!

Anonymous | 10:49 AM

okay, confused. i know that i left a comment about poop. now i don't see it here. it was at like 2a.m. and i am now wondering where exactly did i leave that comment. about poop. oh boy.~jjlibra

mothergoosemouse | 8:41 PM

Also available:

pooprocks.net
pooprolls.com
pooprocksandrolls.com
rocknrollpoop.com
sexdrugsandpoop.com

I think I need to go to bed.

mfk | 12:27 PM

hahaha... you should spread them out over several birthdays. it could be like a tradition... in addition to his presents, archer always gets a poop-related domain name for his birthday. collect the whole set :)

Kell | 11:50 AM

I have been known to buy 2 of the exact same pram toys for Sylvie when she was a baby off ebay when pissed. The best part - I already owned one from when Tom was a baby so we ended up with 3!

I am dangerous on ebay after a bottle of wine *coughs*, I mean a glass of course!