A Vindication of the Rights of Women Bloggers

Regardless of what one personally disagrees with, the way a person parents, their ideas be them subjective, opinion or etc, it is wrong for one to be insulting. It is wrong to lash out with cruelty and disregard. It is one of the reasons women do not trust each other. It is one of the reasons women seek refuge in their own heads. Blogging is a way for us to reach each other as well as articulate our opinions and what works/doesn't work for us, as in, the blogger. Let's keep the blogging world respectable, be it Mommy-blog, Mom-blog, Daddy-blog, dog-blog... Whatever "war" is being waged because of our competitiveness and all the other so-called regulations.

We all have our differences and great! Sharp-tongued insults are for those with feeble minds. Power to the people who can read and discuss with a little respect and some etiquette. It is wonderful to be passionate, but not at another's expense.

Peace. Seriously.

GGC

20 comments:

tAnYeTTa | 11:19 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
rhonda | 5:17 AM

Yes, peace throughout the blogosphere :)

Juliabohemian | 8:49 AM

I'm a Mommy but my life isn't defined by that fact. My blog has all kinds of things on it. I am bothered by women who seem to let the fact that they have children define their entire existence. I am not saying that YOU are doing that. I am just saying, bloggers in general.

But, I agree that there is too much civil war among women -and there always will be. Just observe all the other animals in nature.

Mega Mom | 10:01 AM

I'm standing up and clapping for you. Yeah!!!

Her Bad Mother | 10:09 AM

That totally needed to be said. And, well said.

But juliabohemian, why do women who *seem* to let the fact of their mommyness define them bother you? I stress the *seem* because it's often unclear, even to the mommy-at-hand, whether they are letting themselves be so 'defined.' And if they are, so what? The thing that I struggle with, four months into motherhood, is that I *am* so totally overwhelmed with the mommyness. My life right now is 99.9% mommy. And I'm trying to be okay with that, and trying to figure out how my new self is going work with whatever is left of my old self. Part of that figuring-out process takes place through my blog, as I imagine it does for many other moms/mommies/spawners. I haven't decided yet whether it's a problematic thing (for *me*) to be defined by my mommyness. But for the moment, I'd like to operate on the assumption that it's not.

And I'm always going to respect those women who *are* defined by their mommyness.

kiwidebra | 11:30 AM

Perhaps we blog about the overwhelming mommy-ness so that we can talk about something else in "real life." That way people who feel the same way can relate to us through the blog and our friends who couldn't care less about mommy issues can ignore it. Or maybe that's just me.

And I agree with GGC, there's enough crap to deal with in daily life. Who has the time to attack someone else based on a blog entry?

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 12:23 PM

I do not understand how one can be bothered by "the way another person defines themself". The obvious preoccupation and "better-than-thou" opinions in regard to other people's lifestyles seems to me, an attempt to escape their own reflection.

Thanks for your comments, all.

Binky | 1:05 PM

I addressed my own opinions on the mommy moniker in a post awhile back (http://8hours.blogspot.com/2006/01/im-mommy-thats-why.html). I was basically stating the case for why I, my own little island, don't want to be "mommy" to anyone but my children. I admit that I relate more to those who similarly eschew the term in adult interaction. But that doesn't mean I think the other camp is any less valid. It's just not for me. A lot of it comes down to semantics. Heck, my blog probably has many more poop references than the most rabid "mommy" blog out there. I wouldn't want to blog in a world where I didn't feel comfortable talking about the fact that sometimes avocado looks and smells exactly the same way going in as it does coming out.

MrsFortune | 3:28 PM

GGC I hate you you are an evil satan worshipper with horrible BO and I'm reporting you to your local child welfare agency ASAP. You bitch.

I'm just kidding of course. I love ya. Love your blog. Mom, mommy, mama, mammary gland, whatever you are. Hugz. Mad Propz.

Christina | 4:35 PM

Hello, GGC! Great blog you've got here.

I have to say I totally agree with you. The war going on at MIM's site is just crazy, and the amount of trolls who can't form a real argument so instead must insult her is amazing to me.

The blogosphere is a microcosm of real life. People have all sorts of opinions and interests. If someone doesn't like "mommy blogs", then don't read them. I don't go around looking for sports blogs. And if you don't like someone's opinion, you can either discuss it, or walk away and not read their blog.

I think far too many people don't walk away when they should. The internet provides a sense of anonymity - many of the things some say they would never say to someone's face.

Sorry, this turned into a long post, instead of just saying I agree with you and great post!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 4:41 PM

Not at all! Long posts are my favorite kind and Amen, sister!

the weirdgirl | 11:29 PM

SERIOUSLY!! Peace.

You know, I think they should add a questionaire for Blogher... one of the questions should be:

Do you habitually go to other people's blogs and make nasty comments?
You do?
Oh, well then, you can't come play.

Wendy | 9:53 AM

AMEN, GGC...we're all just trying to get by - and the sentence "It is one of the reasons women seek refuge in their own heads" is the most insightful thing I have read in a long time...

Piece of Work | 3:20 PM

I agree too, GGC. What the hell is wrong with a "mommy blog"? And what the hell IS a "mommy" blog anyway? Lots of blogs I've read are written by mothers who claim to NOT be Mommy bloggers, so what does that mean? Furthermore, why does anyone care? If I want to identify myself as a mommy foremost, why should that bother anyone? If I don't, why should that bother anyone?
The MIM thing is beyond crazy, too--why not just say "hey, that's not how my marriage works" and move on? Or "mmm, that's an interesting point of view, let me think about it".

Thanks for this post, I love it.

Not sure how I wound up here, by the way . .

Stefania Pomponi Butler aka CityMama | 4:25 PM

well said.

mommy on the verge | 12:16 AM

Si se puede! Yes We Can!
Yeah, I was reading someone's blog the other day and they were ripping on some other blogs. Not nice. So, then I wrote a post congratulating all women bloggers for doing something about this creative need we all have to express ourselves. Yes We Can! Yes We Can!

kittenpie | 8:16 AM

I love it when a blog generates lots of discussion on both sides -how stimulating and exciting that people from different walks can share opinions and experiences. But sadly, some people don't seem to think that a difference of opinion is okay, they must try to shout down, discredit, or insult the other. And that is too bad.

As to the blog identity question, I must say I don't think of my blog as a mommy blog because what I think of as a mommy blog is one that mostly centers around daily life with kids, and I like to leave myself open to talk about all sorts of different facets of my life and personality. By not defining my blog as a mommy blog, I feel I am not telling anyone that they should expect mommy-themed posts as the norm. *This doesn't mean I have a problem with those who do, I read lots of them. It's just not what I wanted to write about, though I do sometimes.*

Alyssa | 10:40 AM

Fuck Linda Hirshman. Oh woops. Not what we were talking about, nevermind.

Anyway, I am a mother but am not entirely defined by being a mother. Despite the fact that there is an almost two year old climbing into my lap and dancing to shrek 2.

I love my daughter and plan to have a few more children, but just because I choose to stay home doesn't make me any less of a woman.

I mosied over to MIM and honestly, I am not sure how to even approach the subject, I don't know how to respond, I address my husband about my tattoo before I got it, he gave in and went with me, then again, I'd probably do it anyway but within good taste.... I don't think I would have married my husband if I thought that he was the kind of person that would tattoo his face and become lizard man.... You know these things about a person -before- they get married. Maybe different than the "weight gain" part of it and the DSM IV banter.

Anyway, women are vindictive creatures and seek revenge whenever possible....No, Really, Yes, Seriously...

I wish it weren't that way but when bitches cross me, I seriously cannot control myself.

I don't know if any of what I said above even touches on the topics being talked about... it was like a blog entry in somebody elses blog.. bah...

Mom101 | 9:41 PM

Ooops, I'm late on this one (stupid business trip) but I'm here singing your praises from the other end of the ethernet cable.

I think the networks create the "wars" because the real war isn't getting viewers. Now there's topic for you.

islandarts | 3:24 PM

Amen sistah!