Who You Gonna Crawl?

We're closing in on ten months and still no hands and knees action. I'm not one to throw a hizzy or over react (ahem) but I have had the following recurring dream for the past few nights.

Archer is a man. About my age. It's his wedding day. I pan out and see myself holding Archer in his tuxedo as his wife comes waltzing down the isle. I switch hips, distributing the weight and start to hyperventilate, drop him and help him sit up. I wake up in a cold sweat.

When Archer was a wee witty winkie-woo, I used to shake my head. "I can't imagine him ever walking! That is going to be so strange! And can you imagine him crawling around the house? Too crazy!" Now I resent the fact that I said that. I could have jinxed it without knowing better.

The pediatrician told us to set him up on hands and knees and sort of move his body in crawling motion, but it's a lot easier said than done. He flips out, gives me pouty-face 2006 and I sit him back on his butt and hit my head against the wall. Then,he laughs. I crawl on hands and knees all over the house, trying to lead by example. The boy is all about the monkey-see, monkey-do. "Hi!" "Hi!" "Plthhhhhhhhhhh." "Plthhhhhhhhhh." Bounce, bounce. Bounce, bounce. Crawl. __________. Crawl. __________. "Oh, come on, dude. Please? Follow the Cheerio trail to whipped-cream, finger-painting bliss." But he never does. Not yet. One day, maybe. Maybe not?

I have read articles about babies who forgo crawling as well as the wives tales about babies who don't crawl, become developmentally challenged. My brother didn't speak until he was something like three years, and the kid's a bonafide Harvard genius now so I guess there is a silver lining if I want to get all presumptuous.

I guess I was just hoping for a little momentum in the Archer Crawls Chronicles but the kid just likes to chill, I guess. He doesn't squirm or push himself around. He just sits in the same place, leans for his toys and if the damn thing is out of reach, he sighs and goes on talking to himself. He is happy. I should not be complaining, or worried. In fact starting right now, no pressure, Archer. I'll stop crawling around the house now. Stay where you are. In fact, don't crawl. It's all good! I'll carry you down the isle, if need be...

...Okay, now you can go ahead and REBEL! That's it. One knee in front of the other.


GGC

26 comments:

Kristen | 2:04 PM

Aw... Poor mom. :) I never crawled - and Q did around his age. She didn't do the typical hands and knees rocking thing though. She finally decided to move when tempted with a box of milkduds and a remote. I shook them vigorously and it seemed to do the trick.

He'll be moving in no time...

Her Bad Mother | 2:26 PM

I'm just at this moment at the stage with Baby where I'm wishing HARD that the whole crawl/walk/move thing takes a sweet long time coming, cuz just the rolling/pushing/grabbing is taking it all out of me. But I will think twice before uttering that wish before the gods.

Seriously, though? My mother tells me that I skipped the crawling stage entirely and went straight to walking at around 11 mo. Every baby does his/her own thing in his/her own time.

And may I just say? The dogs? Unbelievably fantastic gorgeous yum. I'd be staying on my ass too if I could be snuggled up to them.

MrsFortune | 3:06 PM

I agree about the doggies!!! I'd sit my ass in one place too.

I don't know much about child development but I do know that boys develop more slowly than girls, so ... take heart? I dunno, but I have a feeling in a couple months (hopefully less) you'll look at this post, smack yourself in the head and fully realize the meaning of "be careful what you ask for." Maybe. I dunno.

Uncle Dave | 3:23 PM

See it's all just a trick. Archer KNOWS how to crawl. He probably does it when you aren't looking. He probably crawls to the nearest computer and reads your blog and celebrates his victory over the villainous Mom. He's in those pre-teen months: angry, rebellious, full of misdirected passion.

Soon he'll learn there are bigger fish to fry then poor old Mom.

(Oh, and I was talking at two years, not three, but who's counting.)

Mom101 | 3:24 PM

You know what's cool? He's acting like a laid-back second child. Sounds just like the description of my friend's 10 m.o. second kid...right down to the "happy to play in place" detail. He will crawl very soon! And when he does, you will go sheesh, I wish he wasn't crawling quite so much...

Sabrina | 5:00 PM

Some kids skip crawling and go straight to walking. My 2nd did. My little guy now just picked it up and he's 8 mths 1 week. I have been doing the baby crawl shuffle and I think it did help some.

Don't get stressed! He'll be doing it soon and then you'll wish he wasn't because he's into everything!

rhonda | 5:01 PM

My son didn't spend too much time in the crawl phase, he pretty much went to walking, so don't worry GGC. He will get there, and when he does WATCH OUT!

reluctant housewife | 5:29 PM

Ditto on the comments above.

Half the kids in The Boy's playgroup (the babies are one year old) are not crawling. And some of the ones that aren't crawling are more determined walkers than the crawlers. Archer will be mobile when he's ready. And then your life will change, yet again.

tAnYeTTa | 7:13 PM

Hey Archer, DJ here! Yo my man...I heard from my moms that your moms can't wait until you start walking. Well, I know the real deal and it's that you're the man and you're running the show and you'll walk when you feel like it. I didn't get teeth or walk until i was 12 months old!!!!

That's right GGC..and look at me, I get on my tippy toes to pull down things off the counter, I push buttons on the dishwasher, bang pots and pans from the cupboards, I turn the tv on and off (especially when moms fav show is on) sooooooooo I can't wait until you're singing the song! Can't nobody hold me down!!!! You can't stop me now! LOL

J's Mommy | 7:28 PM

he'll get there - j didn't start crawling until 10 months and then didn't walk until 14 months. oh and consequently, she didn't sleep through the night until then either!

Allysun | 7:50 PM

Well, Annabelle only started to crawl a few days before she turned 10 months... and that was after I freaked out about it at 8 months because she wasn't showing ANY inclination to crawl and was already standing! So I took her to an occupational therapist. The therapist gave me several exercises to do with Annabelle several times a day. She still didn't crawl for another six weeks.

And, I swear, one day I came home and put her down on the floor and she just crawled away from me like she'd been doing it for years. There was never a pre-crawling moment where I thought, "Almost! That was almost crawling!" She literally went from sitting on her ass to just doing it because she had somewhere to go.

It clearly had nothing to do with me. She just had to make up her mind.

coolbeans | 7:55 PM

Does he scooch? Scootch? How the eff do you spell that, anyway?

Crawling isn't such a big deal, anyway. Being able to get his own sandwich - that's DA BOMB. Way more useful than crawling.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 7:58 PM

hahaha! no, he does not scoo(t)ch. That would be cute. Sigh...

Chag | 9:58 PM

My son was ten months, four days when he first crawled (on Xmas Eve). I was freaking out until that moment, just like you are now. And everyone told me, "Don't worry. It'll happen." And it did. And it will for Archer, too.

Cynical Mom | 9:58 PM

My first didn't roll until very late (front-->back at 4m, but back-->front not until 8m), crawl until 10m or walk until 16m, but it later became obvious that he was busy working on his verbal skills instead. And now that he's heading toward 3 and still has NO interest in potty training, but every kid around him seems to be a potty wizard (whizzard? yuk yuk), I am trying to comfort myself by saying that physical things just don't come easily to my boy.

Belongum | 12:22 AM

Gudday GGC...
Have to tell you - yours is a damn entertaining read - even for a simple Aussie like me lol!

Arid - our nine week old son - has his mum and I in fits... and I'm not just talking about laughter!

So it's great to hear of others who are experiencing (or have experienced) the same thing. Our dogs have become second class citizens, and all movements into and out of the house perimeter require a chit check to be run past one only baby boy... *sighhhhh* oddly though - I wouldn't have it any other way.

I will send my better half over to this site to check it out. Cheers for an excellent read!

Belongum ;)

Awesome Mom | 2:08 AM

My son never really crawled but he did a funny monkey walk type of thing. Can he sit up on his own? Like get from a laying position to a sitting one on his own? If he can't you have to work on that first because those muscles are inportant to crawling. My son had a stroke so he went back to zero as far as physical development. The physical therapist had us just let him play on the floor and roll around a lot which really got him much stronger.

IzzyMom | 7:26 AM

Does Archer have a different method of locomotion? Sometimes babies get around so well by scooting or rolling that crawling is just not a priority. And some just go straight to cruising and walking. They're all different. those milestone ages are really just a median pint in a range. He'll be crawling or walking in no time and if you're anything like I was, you'll long for the days when he stayed where you put him :-)

one smarmy mama | 10:14 AM

FWIW, my first did the same thing, and then one day, very close to her first birthday, she just walked. Normal or "average" is over rated. :)

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 11:28 AM

Archer doesn't scoot or manuever in any way other than hitchiking mommymobile. He cannot sit up by himself either, not from flat on his back.

Anyway, thank you all. It's a relief to know that many of your children are slow too. Just kidding!!!! I appreciate your words of wisdom. Always.

Chaotic Mom | 1:29 PM

My third kid has vestibular "issues", didn't walk until he was 23. But being my third kiddo, and knowing he'd eventually "get it", I didn't worry. Rather enjoyed not having to chase him all over the place. Like I have to do at this very second...

Wendy | 5:41 PM

I know I told you this before but Drew didn't walk until 18 months! Now he runs circles around me - I used to hate when people told me not to worry but it did work itself out - hang in there honey...

grayelephant | 6:27 PM

the first thing i want to say is that Archer is soooooo damn cute!!! anyway, as everyone else is saying, Archer will crawl/walk when he is good and ready. one of my childhood friends (i was told by her mom) did EVERYTHING late... crawl, walk, potty training... and she has been, and still is, one of the most talented and intelligent people i have ever known (like your bro, Ivy grad genius), so there! no pressure, Archer!

(by the way, my son didn't sit up by himself until quite recently and he's almost 12 months... but now he is ALL over the place!)

mo-wo | 9:57 PM

"Follow the Cheerio trail to whipped-cream, finger-painting bliss." You are such a good mother... ! I gotta try that!

Girl Friday did x and y in time for the developmental milestone troopers.. but didn't do a and b... They are ALL just silly tradeoff's

the weirdgirl | 11:09 PM

My nephew didn't crawl, scooch, or roll either, he just suddenly stood up and and started walking at 12 months. His mom and grandma (my mom) were both trying to "teach" him how to crawl because the next door neighbor was freaking them out about him "developing properly". He was having none of it (and he seems perfectly smart to me). Hang in there!

tAnYeTTa | 11:23 PM

wait until he starts throwing stuff in the trash! LOL