We're closing in on ten months and still no hands and knees action. I'm not one to throw a hizzy or over react (ahem) but I have had the following recurring dream for the past few nights.
Archer is a man. About my age. It's his wedding day. I pan out and see myself holding Archer in his tuxedo as his wife comes waltzing down the isle. I switch hips, distributing the weight and start to hyperventilate, drop him and help him sit up. I wake up in a cold sweat.
When Archer was a wee witty winkie-woo, I used to shake my head. "I can't imagine him ever walking! That is going to be so strange! And can you imagine him crawling around the house? Too crazy!" Now I resent the fact that I said that. I could have jinxed it without knowing better.
The pediatrician told us to set him up on hands and knees and sort of move his body in crawling motion, but it's a lot easier said than done. He flips out, gives me pouty-face 2006 and I sit him back on his butt and hit my head against the wall. Then,he laughs. I crawl on hands and knees all over the house, trying to lead by example. The boy is all about the monkey-see, monkey-do. "Hi!" "Hi!" "Plthhhhhhhhhhh." "Plthhhhhhhhhh." Bounce, bounce. Bounce, bounce. Crawl. __________. Crawl. __________. "Oh, come on, dude. Please? Follow the Cheerio trail to whipped-cream, finger-painting bliss." But he never does. Not yet. One day, maybe. Maybe not?
I have read articles about babies who forgo crawling as well as the wives tales about babies who don't crawl, become developmentally challenged. My brother didn't speak until he was something like three years, and the kid's a bonafide Harvard genius now so I guess there is a silver lining if I want to get all presumptuous.
I guess I was just hoping for a little momentum in the Archer Crawls Chronicles but the kid just likes to chill, I guess. He doesn't squirm or push himself around. He just sits in the same place, leans for his toys and if the damn thing is out of reach, he sighs and goes on talking to himself. He is happy. I should not be complaining, or worried. In fact starting right now, no pressure, Archer. I'll stop crawling around the house now. Stay where you are. In fact, don't crawl. It's all good! I'll carry you down the isle, if need be...
...Okay, now you can go ahead and REBEL! That's it. One knee in front of the other.