Dear Monkey-brains,

Today you are the big 1-1. Eleven months is kind of a weird birthday. You're not a baby, not yet a toddler. You're almost single digits, but not quite. It's kinda like turning 9, or 12, except those are real birthdays but to me, every month is a huge deal. Me and your Daddy were going over where we were 11 months ago, just like we did when you were 10 months, 9 months, 8...

Me:"You were holding up the pain management chart, taking a pain assessment based on facial expressions."
Him:"And you were crossing your eyes."
Me:"You were trying to make me laugh."
Him:"And you were sobbing your eyes out."
Him:"You were pushing a head out of your va-googoo"
Me:"And you were trying not to pass out."

We were so totally clueless and probably still are but what the hell? It's good times, am I right? You can speak now, kind of. You can say Hi (Hiiieiei) and Cooper (Cookaaahh) and Mama (Mamama) and Dada (Dadoo) and you can also say Hydriodic (Hydriodic) which is impressive and you can wave! You can also give ten, but no high fives. Sooooo like you to just skip the five and go for the ten. That's why I love you, kid.

You still are not crawling, although you can get on your hands and knees and scream for five minutes without moving. We call it the scrawl (screamcrawl). You also refuse spoons and baby food and you want to pick up everything with your own hands which is very mature and grown-up of you and makes it easy for me when we leave the dogs to babysit you on Saturday nights. You like trying to pull my eyes out of my head and post-it notes are your current favorite toy.

The other day I spent the day without you and I kept checking my pockets and my purse thinking I forgot something. It was an uncomfortable feeling to have, like I lost an earring or my sunglasses fell off without my knowing, but it was because you were at home and I was running around town like a mad woman trying to get my errands done so I could rush home and eat your freaking nose. It's a cute nose and I can't help it. It's delicious.

So on this odd-unbirthday-birthday, so close to being a one-year old which I am quite unable to wrap my head around because it kind of seems impossible and I guess I'm supposed to plan a party for you or something because that is what moms do when their kid turns one which is silly because you don't even like people right now but maybe we'll go to the aquarium or the Chinese restaurant with the fish tanks full of puffy-eyed goldfish because you like fish and because I can see your smiling reflection in the glass.

And, and and... Happy eleven-months, little monkey. Love you infinity x infinityplex.




Anonymous | 12:37 PM

How very sweet. Great post - and happy birthday to the little monkey. :)

Karen | 12:50 PM

I went out with my husband last night for the first time in a long time, and had that "I've lost something" sensation the entire time. And they're significantly more than 11 mos...

Happy Milestone, Archer. I think I would eat your nose, too.

Anonymous | 3:09 PM

Awww love it!!! I remember every month was a huge deal - don't apologize for it - it totally is - only happens once - love your ode to your little man - so so sweet...

Mom101 | 4:53 PM

I think I look forward to Archer's birthdays as much as you do because I always know I'll get to read something wonderful over here. Happy bday, Thalia's future beau. You just keep on eating with your hands if that's what makes you happy. It's your day.

Anonymous | 8:21 AM

Awww, what a cutie. I love the "scrawl." It sounds like an Olympic swim competition. Enjoy your little dude. My baby just turned 13 months and I can't seem to wrap my head around that, either. Sniff... So you let your dogs babysit, too? ;)

Chicky Chicky Baby | 10:12 AM

Happy Un-Birthday Archer! When its your own kid every day is as important as a birthday. Oooh, sappy. But its true!

Anonymous | 10:25 AM

I'm with Mom101 - I love the Archer (un)Birthday Posts. Happy eleven-months, cutie!

Anonymous | 11:15 AM

WOW. He's almost one. I can't believe it.

And still styling in the hats.

yeah, archer!

Anonymous | 11:59 AM

I was always a toe-eating kinda mom. It never occurred to me that noses could be tasty, too.

Happy 11-monthday to your little guy. He is a cutie!!

Diana | 12:48 PM

I eat thighs and toes!
Beautiful letter.
Nice dog! (I want one just like that!)

MrsFortune | 3:18 PM

I just absolutley cannot get over how freaking unbelievably cute he is. And I really am dreading the day when he actually TRULY rebels against hats. :(

Her Bad Mother | 4:25 PM

Ah, the hats. Icing on the baby cake.

(happy 11 month birthday)

Anonymous | 6:29 AM

I used to think 1 year old birthday parties were silly- till my boy turned one. The party was just as much for us as it was for him- kind of a WOO HOO we made to a year! Enjoy it. Oh those eyes.. dreamy..

Elissa L. | 10:44 AM

Just came across your blog today. Love it! I think our babies are very close in age. My Phi just turned 11 months old on April 22. We too are planning a birthday party but only because of that damn peer pressure.

Anonymous | 10:21 PM

your blog makes me laugh! my son is almost 11 mos and doens't crawl either. doesn't eat solids, doesn't sleep. but i love him to pieces!

sasha | 4:51 PM

i know this post is almost exactly a YEAR old, and i'm not one of your regulars (i found this while searching for info on 11 month olds not crawling, funnily enough) but i wanted to comment and say that after reading this, and then reading ahead to when your son started to crawl, then walk....i realized that i should just relax ane enjoy my daughter as she is at this stage (11 months old and not crawling). soon enough i'll be chasing her, i know. she at this moment has managed to scoot on her butt across the room to get to the colored pencils my nieces are coloring with. imagine what life will be like when she does figure out how to crawl. thank you for this...i wish i was as awesome and was able/willing to chronical my journey into motherhood this way. you rock!