Yo GGC Rapz #4*: Snoop Mommy Momz

Hello. My name is GGC and I have a clingy child. I am aware that it is a phase and it's cute as hell but... And there is a but. There is ALWAYS a but.

Anyway, I thought a Yo GGC Rapz was in order. I know I promised some Public Enemy and/or Beastie Boys but Snoop's Gin and Juice particularly fit the bill this time around. Especially it being 4.20 and all. Aren't link-illustrated mother-parody-rapz the next best thing to beer-can bongs and stained carpet? You're damn right, foos.

Yo! GGC RaPz prezents:

"Applejuice"

So much drama for the GGC
Kinda hard being M-O-double M, Y'see.
But I somehow, some way
Keep changing funky ass shit like every single day
May I kick a little something for the Mom-om-yz
I got a problem with my kid that's been kinda illing me'z (yeah!)
Two in the morning and da baby's still crying
Cuz his momma aint home.
Or maybe I am but I need some peace and quiet
Cause I've been carrying him around since six in the mornin! (six in the mornin)
So what you wanna do? (sheeeeit)
I got a pocket full of binkies and my huzband does too.
So I grab the kid and "let's roll out the door"
Cuz lil dude be hanging on me like never before
And he's gonna grow out of this, I hope.
His attached-to-mommy's hip was cute at first. Now? nope.

And he be...

Rollin down the street in da Stro-yo, sipping on apple juice.
(Not)Laid back. (With his mind on his Mommy and his Mommy on his mind)
Rollin down the street in da Stro-yo, sipping on apple juice.
(Not even close to being) Laid back. (With his mind on his Mommy and his Mommy on his mind)

Now that I got my boy some Pedialite
I hope it helps his lil tum cuz he's been puking all night
The little man wants to sleep with us all of the time
But what he don't recognize is that I've got to get mine!
Two in the morning and he's having a fit
At least I'm done with breastfeeding or he'd be hanging off my tit
He used to play happily with our bitch named Zadie
She's just a dog but she (used to) distract him like crazy
But now he just flails his little hands to be picked up
I guess I smell a little sweeter than our gaseous pup. (oh well)

SO late night we be...

Rollin down the street in da Stro-yo, sipping on apple juice.
(I wish) Laid back. (With his mind on his Mommy and his Mommy on his mind)
Rollin down the street in da Stro-yo, sipping on apple juice.
Laid back. (It's opposite day!) (With his mind on his Mommy and his Mommy on his mind)

Later on that night...
My homie Dr. Husband has an idea that just might
Keep baby busy and fulfilled so I can finally go pee
A new box of Zwieback toast for him and toilet paper for me. (relief!)
My arms so tired from his weight that I can barely see
Cause he's a growing lil boy and he sure aint light
And I love him way too much to put my dukes up and fight
But I can't take tonight, no not anymore
I put him crying in his crib, hit the bedsheets and snore
"Don't get upset, boy, that's just how it goes."
And eventually I'm hoping he grows
And with my face all smashed up in the pillooooows

I dream of...

Rollin down the street in da Stro-yo, sipping on apple juice.
Laid back. (With his mind on his Mommy and his Mommy on his mind)
Rollin down the street in da Stro-yo, sipping on apple juice.
Laid back. (With his mind on his Mommy and his Mommy on his mind) ...

GGC



*For Yo GGC Rapz 1-3 check sidebar. We out.

24 comments:

J's Mommy | 4:36 AM

awww poor mama! love the rap and hang in there darlin!

Kristen | 5:33 AM

Good god woman... Does your brilliance never cease? And thanks I'll be singing...

Rolling... in the stro-yo.

krista | 6:10 AM

Oh my god. That was fucking brilliant. I am totallly going to download Gin and Juice now so I can sing along. You are awesome.

Amy | 6:16 AM

LOVE IT. seriously. Best rapz yet.

Chag | 9:02 AM

So when does the CD come out? Another great one!

Mom101 | 9:16 AM

Your raps just make my day. This is brilliant, but then, they all are. Keep em coming! Give Archer a big sloppy wet kiss for Thalia.

Noelle | 10:22 AM

Po' momz. Fo'shizzle. (Okay, not nearly as good when I type it as when Snoop says it.)

I agree with Amy - best one so far!

Chase | 10:48 AM

Oh, man. You never fail to make me laugh out loud. Brilliant. :)

Jamie | 11:07 AM

OMG this is hilarious! I thought The Gourds version was good (I've always thought it was Barenaked Ladies who did it..does anyone know?) but you got it goin' on mama.

rhonda | 11:16 AM

Keep on Keepin on, Yo! Word.

mo-wo | 12:24 PM

Crap GCC where did all these posts come from! Have I been under a rock?

get well soon little man

Dutch | 1:05 PM

I keep picturing you reaching into your pcoket and pulling out a bandolier of binkies wrapped up like condoms.

Her Bad Mother | 2:49 PM

Thank you! I needed something to get the My Humps poison out of my head. Ah, smooth, refreshing Snoop...

But down to business: when are the music videos coming? Please.

Mrs. Chicky | 5:01 PM

Oh man, I needed that. My head was bobbin' the whole time. Oh yeah.
Fantastic!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 5:48 PM

Vids coming soon. Maybe.

Tater and Tot | 7:58 PM

Could I have backstage passes and front row seats to your next concert? I'll bring a lighter and sway it back and forth. I will definately be a groupie. Oh yes, I can see it now. Me, Tater and Tot in their Stro-yo, dancin' in the front row, still buzzin' from the "not from concentrate" 100% apple juice that we chugged before we came in. Right after we hit the pipe. Oh, come on, I'm talking about the bubble pipe from the $2.83 bubble blowing set from Wal-Mart.

Fo-shizzle my mom-izzle.

kittenpie | 8:33 AM

this might well become my new stolling anthem, replacing my own rework of the Rolie Polie Olie theme... So much um, can you say doper? Phatter? So much more the bomb? heh. Guess those guys only speak in superlatives, not comparatives. So, Damn, woman, you the shizzle!

jess | 4:16 PM

could i put in a request for a GGC rapz of "la-di-da-di" by slick rick.

although might be best to wait till potty training age and do "la di da di, we use the potty"

just a suggestion...keep up the great rapz!

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 4:19 PM

Great idea! Ladidadi, we likes to potty... Thanks, Jess!

CroutonBoy | 11:39 AM

Mind on his Mommy and his Mommy on his mind"...brilliant! Although I had the Gourd's country version of the song in my head, it still had me rockin' back and forth. Thanks for my first chuckle of the day.

Orion_skie | 10:34 AM

AWESOME!

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