Weanie Bo Beanie

About a month ago Archer weaned himself. No gradual faaaaade out, his wean was straight gangster. One morning a couple weeks ago he pushed his 6:30 am bottle away from his lips, "up outta my face, ja heard!"

At first I thought it was just a freak incident but then the next morning came. And the next and... It wasn't an anomaly. Every time I came near Arch's face with a bottle or even milk in a cup (Hey! I tried...) he gave me the stare-down.

"No way, bitch."

The funny thing is, he will drink water. Only water. No juice. No milk. No nothing unless it's water. Still. Filtered. No gaz.

Trying to trick a baby seems unfair because he's a friggin baby and shouldn't know it when I pour scoops of Enfamil in his yogurt or oatmeal or lentil soup (kidding. i don't do that.) but he does. He knows. He takes one bite and makes a face.

"What, Archer? No formula in here. Seriously!"
"See. Look?" (takes bite) Yummy! Tastes like Bananas!"

It is becoming increasingly harder to trick our young hero and I'm starting to think, even though the books and our pediatrician says otherwise, the kid just doesn't need his milk anymore. He's over it, protesting lactose and DHA fortification with the passion of an overzealous food-critic, just like he protested breast-feeding by starving almost to death. He's the anti-lactivist. Rock.

Or maybe he's just emulating mom and the locals. He doesn't do milk. He doesn't do dairy. No juice. Just water and avocados and split pea soup with the peas on the side.

Normal? Pulease. I'm so tired of caring.



Anonymous | 9:58 AM

LOL. That shit happens. Is he getting more teeth?

I guess that's an idiotic question because they are ALWAYS getting teeth. My daughter JUST started drinking soymilk - otherwise, she drinks v-8 juice (the new stuff that has veggies and fruit in it) and water together. ONLY.

Now that Q has a broken leg, she's actually gaining weight, which is good, because she too is my non-dairy fairy - so I used to put olive oil in her apple sauce LOL - it actually works pretty well and it's worth a try.

kittenpie | 10:26 AM

my fave trick is to mix baby creal flakes (iron-enriched!) into yoghurt (dairy and protein!) and add heaps of baby food fruit puree for sweet fruity goodness. Heck, I even love this concoction!

Unknown | 10:31 AM

yeah, breastfeeding for me was less bonding wiht my child la- leche-league-style, and more like wrestling a small midget circus- style. so we quit. and tho' he drank milk, it was never very much at all. now he is three and freaking tank.

Anonymous | 10:40 AM

oh yeah, the trickery and deception is just beginning - it is some NASTY shite.. we try everything short of astronaut space food here (maybe i should investigate that angle...)

Anonymous | 11:13 AM

Bean took quite a while to take to milk and will not take it from a sippy cup or a bottle, just a straw. He will also only take it in the morning.

I love milk, so I find it upsetting that he doesn't share this with me. But looking at the kid... you would think that I would be used to not sharing things in common.

On an aside, our ped told us we could get by with yogurt... Bean LOVES yogurt.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | 11:16 AM

I can get mine to drink milk, but only out of bottles and they are almost 2. They will only drink water from sippy cups, and I've seen the same look from them.

If you have any breakthroughs, please let me know.

Mom101 | 12:58 PM

When I asked my pediatrician whether there was in fact anything useful in the Sears book that he was slamming, he thought a moment and replied, "yes.
Avocados are a good food." So the way I see it, Archer is right on track!

Her Bad Mother | 1:47 PM

Dude knows what he likes. Rock.

And? Milk's for suckas. Dude's got taste. Double rock.

Unknown | 1:57 PM

I was going to suggest yoghurt too. And cheese. If a child doesnt like milk they aint much you can do about it! Maybe when he's older you can use milkshake but I guess thats not a very healthy thing to suggest for a baby.

Chicky Chicky Baby | 2:09 PM

Since he eats his veggies maybe you could hide the formula in a piece of carrot cake? I'm only half kidding.


Totally. Thank you all! Great suggestions. I prefer your wisdom most of all. We're throwing the bottle to the wind and avocado & yoghurt-ing it up over here! woooo.

the stefanie formerly known as stefanierj | 5:37 PM

D did the same dang thang when he was 12 mos or so. Only water. I told him that was fine but kept offering (soy) milk to him from time to time. Now, capricious tot that he is, he will drink it from the sippy cup. Sometimes. I stressed about it waaay too much, and just ended up letting it go. Yogurt, avacados, cheese, whatevs. If you ever need an expert's advice, my momz is a ped. nutritionist by trade, so let me know and I'll give you the Bee-bee hookups. She's the bomb and will probably tell you what everyone else told you, but sometimes it helps to hear it from an "expert."

Anonymous | 6:47 PM

I really appreciated hearing that Archer has given up dairy... and it seems (from the comments) that lots of kids do the same. Does any kid follow eating timelines?

I've been working my ass off trying to get Annabelle to eat ANYTHING... other than breastmilk. I finally gave up on the baby food thing and next thing I know she's digging in to my spicy mexican chicken tacos and can't get enough... And she devours anything with lemon juice on it. Go figure!

*Tanyetta* | 8:08 PM

I cannot stop laughing hysterically at the stare down photo. That's priceless. I love it.

Anonymous | 9:35 PM

maybe he's vegan. Ha.

PS- I think it is utterly hilarious that what I clicked on to write this comment says, "use your words" Everytime I see it, I am reminded my my sons daycare teachers and I hear it in that daycare teacher tone, "use your words! no Hitting!"

Mimimom | 10:36 PM

My son, 11 months, did the same thing - but to my boob - about 2 months ago. And I had high hopes of making it to a year . .. oh well, I got over it in about 2 seconds and then threw myself a little party. Anyway, in regards to milk - have you seen the movie "The Corporation"? See it and you'll never regret leaving that hormone ridden shlop behind!
My opinion about pediatricians and dietary recommendations is that they seem to change their opinions on the "right" foods every couple of years - soooo scientific of them - so I decided not to listen to them - ha!

Anonymous | 11:51 PM

I can't even get mine to use a sippy cup without me holding it for him! Hello? Isn't he supposed to be refusing food at this point unless he can feed himself? But no, he's perfectly content to let us feed him, even laying back and opening his mouth when he sees a bottle, as in, "OK, feed me slave. And where are my grapes?".


Same, WG. Same. Same. Same.

Sandra | 9:25 AM

My son doesn't do dairy. Neither do I. Drives my husband crazy. I tried every crazy trick in the book. In the end he fell for chocolate (really carob) fortified rice milk. He's four now and doing just fine on that and yogurt. Don't sweat it :)

Really enjoyiing your blog by the way.

Emily | 9:30 AM

Lurker popping out because...well, because I had to. I have bad news for you....sounds like my boys.

This is not what you want...seriously. Because now at 4 1/2 they are still just as opinionated and pigheaded.

You're in for it someday. I suggest you start stocking up on Tums and Prozac.

Christina | 2:04 PM

My kid never turns down a meal, but we did go through a small phase where she wouldn't drink much milk (oh, and she won't hold her sippy cup still!).

If the yogurt works, go for it. Will he go for fruit smoothies made with yogurt?