From Baby Bjorn to Backpack

Archer is a huge man-baby these days and although I have tried to squeeze his sausagey self into the folds of the Baby Bjorn, I had to retire my favorite baby accessory to the baby gear retirement pile, eventually to end up in baby gear retirement pile in my former closet of my parent's house. Heh. (Ed: the photo to the left is supposedly some dude modeling some backpack-stroller thing that won a design award. Fascinating panel of judges, I assume.)

When I was in San Diego last week my mother literally left the house in her pajamas to buy me this backpack, in her post-hyterectomy-"I'm totally fine, Bec"-anti-surgery- recovering cabin fever victim-ness. Back in L.A. for a few days and OF COURSE I had to give the new ride a ride.

Ahhhhh, yes. Runyan Canyon. My favorite dog park and place to overhear celebrity gossip. Orlando Bloom dishing about Kate Bosworth? Tom Cruise's son talking about "not wanting to talk about Katie Holmes", Bob Barker talking to himself half-dead in his always color-coordinated workout gear, Jakey-poo and Kirsten throwing sticks at various dogs before adopting their own. But this is all in the past, people. Ions ago.

About two weeks after Archer was born I started with my 6:30 am hikes. I was on a serious mission to lose the 800 pounds I had gained. On two hours of total sleep, I got out of bed, grabbed baby Archer and headed for the hills. And I went every single day. OCD much? I was determined to brace the climb without the famous faces intimidating me with their ability to maintain looking perfect, even in sweats and trucker hats.

The best time to not-see celebrities is 6:30 am because they are either at work or still partying. I was right. Several months of early-to-rise-hiking trips and not one familiar face. Just a lot of dogs and gay guys. That's the way, uh-huh-uh-huh, I like it.

When Archer got a little older, I got lazy. Mind you, hiking with a squirmy infant and two dogs is not as easy as it sounds, especially when you got Anthony Kedis' Rhodesian Ridgeback humping Cooper and various porn-stars pomeranian's sequin-rhinestone dresses getting caught in Zadie's collar. I stopped going when Archer was looking a bit awkward, feet dragging up the hill in a half-strapped Bjorn.

BUT THE BACK PACK! Yes. The Backpack: the beginning of a whole new active-era for me and the Arch-man. Not only were we back in action, we would look like we were serious about hiking, not like all the beautiful people in their Paper and Denim and Costume National. So yesterday we went as a family. Mid-afternoon,enormous backpack, two happy dogs. Yeehaw.

We were barely out of the car when, trying to get the backpack on with Archer already in it, I swung myself into Ron Howard and family. But instead of asking "are you okay?" I said "hello." Bryce was there, my former girl-crush and nothing says girl-crush like a baby-backpack in the face.

Mid-afternoon is prime-celeb time, especially for men who like to be checked out by women. Top it all off with GQ's latest blurb about Runyan Canyon being the best place to meet women in L.A." and the hills were stacked with dork cum studs like "the pivert" conveniently jogging downhill with his IPOD.

We kept on up the mountain. Archer giggling from the bumps, me out of shape and bent at a 90 degree angle with my butt sticking out, so I wouldn't topple backwards which of course I did, as soon as we reached the end of the trail and I removed the backpack. But at least Ron Howard wasn't standing there.

And although I'm sore as hell today and walking kinda funny, I'm back. WE'RE back. Because I have a new favorite accessory now and I'm not afraid to rock it on the mountain-top... as soon as I can walk again... UM, yeah, maybe next week.



Chicky Chicky Baby | 11:58 AM

Sigh - I have celebrity doggie envy big time (Anthony Kedis has a Rhodesian Ridgeback? I should have known. Swoon.)

I have one of those backpacks, but with my back problems I still have a hard time using it. But if I was guaranteed to see the newly-yummy Piven-ator I would totally suck it up and strap on the kid.

Anonymous | 12:37 PM

I have one of those backpacks too, and I use it but not as much as with my first son Aidan. This baby (George) is 8 months old and weighs 25 pounds already. He was born 10pounds 4 ounces and the giant just keeps getting bigger and bigger and heavier and heavier...

But- anyway, the backpack is still awesome. Rock on sister.

Emily | 12:37 PM

I was never able to figure out all the baby-carrying gizmos...of coure last time I had twins(and the only carrier for twins is so hard to use it comes with a 30 page manuel and a video) so things were a little more complicated....

Good for, take a hot shower and pop some tylonal ;)

mo-wo | 2:32 PM

I love love love this story. Vancouver is outdoor gear mecca.. take the concept of the SUV at a grocery store and multiply it 10,000 times. I am not a part of the legit outdoor culture and the tacky faux outdoors group makes me puke.

Everybody here has a hiker's backpack carrier! 2% of owners ever needone. I am glad you need one and had a great trek.

Love it.

Her Bad Mother | 3:26 PM

We left the fleece-infested byways of Canada's west coast some years ago, and while I do not miss the fleece (born and raised in the land of the Birkenstock and the fleece but, inexplicably, am allergic to both!) I do miss the recreational hiking.

And at least you're just jostling celebs with baby carriers. Today I've been blogging about throwing rocks at them. Which I wouldn't have done, really, but I thought about it. (But! For a good cause!) So keeping a distance from Runyan Canyon and like areas is probably best for me...

Angel Baby | 5:33 PM

God, a hike sounds so nice.

And having a cool pack like yours would be awesome. Nice gift!!

Great post!

MrsFortune | 8:00 PM

Hey, uh, I'll take the Baby Bjorn ... it was just one of those things that we couldn't afford to splurge on!! But yeah, so, if it needs a new home, you know where to find me, sis! (Just kidding).

We don't have any mountains around here, unless you count the landfills.

Anonymous | 10:00 PM

My hubby just ordered one of those hiking backpacks and he is totally psyched for it to come in. I love hiking (I used to do serious backpacking) but I doubt he's going to use it on trails much. I think he's thinking street fairs and he even mentioned taking the kid to the horse races!

Wood | 10:19 PM

your mom rocks for choosing such an awesome present.

glad you're making it back up the mountain again.

Anonymous | 4:12 AM

Wow! Your walk/hikes are a million times more exciting than ours out here in Boston. The last celebrity I bumped into was Jack Welch. Yawwwwwwwwwn.

Anonymous | 5:01 AM

You never cease to amaze me! I have to say I'm not sure I could or would use one of those BUT the prospect of all the gossip and getting some exercise that doesn't involve the gym is extremely tempting.

Pinterest Failures | 5:04 AM

You are a goddess! We have the kelty carrier like that only it has wheels and converts into a stroller. It was a great purchase--not sure if they make it anymore

Gina | 7:23 AM

Just about all your posts make me laugh! I couldn't function for many many weeks, so you are one trooper of a mom getting out only 2 weeks after birth... and even now! I tell myself when the kid sleeps thru the night, I will do exercise....

Anonymous | 9:10 AM

Sounds cool...Love baby carriers as they help in carrying the baby comfortably!