No Wonder We're Loners...

Today an adorable little girl rushed Archer in his stroller and hugged him. She then proceeded to kiss him, a kiss that lasted seconds and when she pulled away he screamed his head off:


"Sorry, baby," said the little girl before leaning in to kiss him again. But Archer kept his pimp hand strong and he held out his arms in proper block form and began flailing at her face and kicking and having a temper "oh, hell no!" tantrum. (sidenote: She was obviously a ghastly kisser, unlike the foo-ista who Archer gladly kissed back a few weeks ago.)

"Archer, dude, it's okay. Calm."

The mother picked her daughter up, "Your son isn't very friendly is he?"

"Yeah, well. I'm training him to hate women."

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt. The record stopped. "Just kidding, I was... um, yeah. We're going to go now."

Sometimes I forget that I am the only person besides my son who thinks I'm funny.

Heh, awkward, heh.



Anonymous | 5:47 PM

Boy that lady had balls saying that to you! Love the comeback :)

Some people are so uptight!

Stacy | 5:54 PM

I think you're funny! :)

Karen | 6:00 PM

I so totally hope that you really said that to her! I gave an enormous guffaw when I read it. Someone once remarked to me that my 2 y.o. was too old for a pacifier, and I responded that she needed methadone to get off of it. Didn't go over well. But raising a witty child? Totally worth being a loner.

Sandra | 6:49 PM

I'm with your son -- you are funny.

And that woman shouldn't have let her daughter smooch your son when he didnt' want it and then turn around and SAY that.

I am sure your son will inherit your great sense of humour.

Anonymous | 7:10 PM

Awesome. If you had said that to me I would have laughed my ass off. :)

Angel Baby | 8:25 PM

I think you're hilarious!

Chris | 9:16 PM

Don't you hate it when other people get in the way of your sense of humor?

Mom101 | 10:25 PM

Um, no obviously that woman is the only one who thinks you're not funny.

You don't want her for an in-law anyway.

Chicky Chicky Baby | 5:46 AM

I thought your comment was hilarious and I plan on using it the next time my daughter has a complete breakdown when her Grandfather tries to hold her (just substitute man hating for woman hating!).

Anonymous | 5:53 AM

That happened to us (Beck pushed the little girl away) and I said, "He's gay, honey! Stop tryin' to flip him!" Thankfully her mom laughed. :-)

Christina | 6:14 AM

I would have laughed. Of course, I wouldn't have said something as idiotic as that woman did.

Carolyn S. | 9:00 AM

Looks like you had a run in with a momzilla. She obviously doesn't have blog.

jess | 9:32 AM

i agree with mom101, heaven forbid you wouldn't blandly answer "yes, my child is unfriendly and your child is better than mine", right?

Anonymous | 10:07 AM

Go Archer! Who knows where that little harlot has been?

And go Momz! Excellent response. Much better than, "So that's what's wrong with him? I was trying to figure it out! Thank you!"

Blog Antagonist | 10:16 AM

Hey..even toddlers have personal space. I don't like my personal space being invaded, and I don't blame Archer for having the same issue. I don't let my kids touch babies or toddlers without asking permission. I didn't like it when my kids were mauled by other kids, and I won't let them do it.

I would love to have seen the look on that woman's face when you said that. ;?)

Anonymous | 11:16 AM

I don't blame Archer one bit. And God, what's with that woman saying that to you? Beotch. Obviously she has no sense of humor. And that's even worse. A beotch devoid of humor.

Lumpyheadsmom | 12:26 PM

Not very friendly?

Not as, ahem, 'friendly' as her little Paris Hilton, certainly.

jdg | 2:01 PM

"Yeah, well he's clearly just not as horny as your slutty little ho."


HAHAHAHAHAHA. You guys are such shit-talkers. I LOOOOOVE it.


we need to make archer a T that says "#1 misogynist" or maybe "i'm a peeeeeemp, i'm a peeeeemp."

you should have told her that he has OCD about catching cols sores and that her daughter's a little fast. archer likes his ladies to make a slow lean.

what you said to her is the funniest thing ever. fuck her. and i mean that in the friendliest possible way.

Chicky | 4:13 PM

Hehehe. Go Archer. Kick that Ho to the curb.

Anonymous | 12:02 AM

Go both of you! I would have been a smartass too. Like you need your son assaulted with slobber. What was she thinking?

kittenpie | 12:57 PM

hilarious, but what a bitch to say that?
Hell, maybe he just thought her daughter was an ugly little cow!
"He only lets the cute girls kiss him." Oh yes, I like it.

ms blue | 2:02 PM

I'm with Dutch. Now that would have probably got me punched in the eye but so worth it.