My Sick Roommate

It wouldn't be so bad if he paid rent. I mean, coming on fourteen months dude. Time to punch your own weight but NOOOO, it's I need Tylenol for my 102 fever and I need snuggles before naptime and it's like I'm always doing his dishes and driving him around and he never even offers gas money. I mean I probably wouldn't take it if he did but offering? Manners, roommate. Manners.


I've had roommates before. I've even had roommates in the past who didn't pay rent and wanted to sleep in my bed and cried all night and pooped their pants (drunks) but never have I met such a small roommate with such issues with communication.

I wish he would just tell me what he wants or where it hurts or what he feels like for dinner. And it's like now he's sick and he needs water and books read to him and songs and I'm serenading my small flushed roommate on the guitar and I can only remember how to play Misfits, Last Caress.

"I got something to say. (Ba-daaaaw-daw-daw) I killed your baby today..."

And the roommate doesn't even understand the irony. He just watches me behind swollen eyes and looks cute and cute boys have always been my weakness, especially cute boys with colds who need to be taken care of.

Humidifier? Sleepless nights? Who do I look like, his mother?


Oh, alright, fine! I'll just make up different words to the song even though most lullabies are violent and cruel and I'll sing it quieter and up an octave and I'll rub his hair until he falls asleep and blah blah... But seriously when he gets better it's time for him to find himself a job. Pitching-in is key to healthy roommate relationships. A prerequisite even.

GGC

23 comments:

J's Mommy | 11:33 AM

I made J belly up when she hit 12 months. No one lives in my house for free!

Mother | 11:34 AM

Aw. Poor baby.

I hate when Q is sick. It's the worst...

Mother Bumper | 11:47 AM

Stick to the Misfits version...

My weakness was (is?) cute boys who need a mommy but now I've been suckered by a really cute girl (hey... everyone has their experimental phase).

Stay strong GGC. Archer just needs his Mommy now and I'm sure he will start contributing his two-cents soon enough ;)

Andrea | 12:20 PM

Nothing like a bad fever/cold after a bout of chicken pox. Boy, he's really been through the wringer this summer (and if you count the botched circ, so far, he's had a tough shake). Here's hoping Mama's hugs are just the medicine he needs.

Then, it's ante up. Life's tough sometimes.

Dad | 1:41 PM

If you need to have me drive him around and pat his head, I can do that.

Sincerely,

The Other Roomie

toyfoto | 2:16 PM

My little roommate keeps putting her hand down my shirt. Shesssh. The larger roommate doesn't even do that.

Scarlett | 3:08 PM

feeeel better archer!!! love you both! xo!

Mona | 4:23 PM

I hope he gets better soon. My son doesn't listen to me when I say, "You want me to change your diapers? File that under 'D' for 'DO IT YOUR DAMN SELF'."

Anonymous | 4:35 PM

Oh, poor little man. Hang in, momma! If it makes you feel any better take consolation in the fact that his immune system will be in great shape by the time he hits kindergarten.

It was my oldest who nailed me at 15 months (she talked very early. My boy only grunted until he was 2.) with the "ohhh, baby fall down and get hurt. Bad cradle.) That was the last time I sang that one. Now I make them up...they love that!

onetallmomma | 4:36 PM

That was me above...too much decongestant and wine.

mummyv | 6:10 PM

what a coincidence.. i have a terrible roommate as well. rent? ha. she doesn't even load the dishwasher, unless it's with books or random shoes... maybe they should get their own apartment together ! :)

hope your bubba is better soon.

Awesome Mom | 8:06 PM

Poor kid, I hope he feels better soon.

Merry Mama | 11:07 PM

I know how this is... been through this six times. I wish i could tell you what to do, but I'm so tired from the previous five, i forgot what works for this one.

Really cute quilt in the background. Did you make that?

krista | 4:42 AM

I've always thought that was the weirdest lullaby. That and the "mommas gonna buy you a mocking bird"

One is violent and creul and the other is just superficial. How did those lullabyes get to be so famous?

Chag | 7:02 AM

Hope Archer gets better soon. And starts pulling his weight around the house.

Gina | 8:34 AM

Lady, you crack me up!!!! What a way to put it! You are creative AND witty, it just ain't fair!

Get well soon, Archer! You can't seem to catch a break... first the pox, now this! We understand though... we just got over our bout of it over the weekend.

MIM | 10:26 AM

Yeah! And could you tell him to STOP getting sick everytime we try to schedule a mama's playdate? I'm starting to take it personally.

Sheesh.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 11:10 AM

I know! I'm so sorry. Oh, poop.

Kristen | 11:25 AM

Awe! Archer feel better soon! Leah had a fever a month or so ago and it was miserable over here too- so I feel your pain mama!

nikki | 12:21 PM

i will just be excited when my little roomate doesn't need me to wipe his own butt or wipe his nose. if only he could learn to blow it instead of letting the snot roll down his face. yeesh!

Alisyn | 3:36 PM

We were just joking the other night about how our kids are the worst roommates we've EVER had.

They shit, we have to clean it. They never pick up after themselves, they break/lose/hide/ our stuff. They cost us money. They never let us watch what we want to watch on TV. I could go on.

And yet, we love them more than all our former roommates combined.

How DOES that work??

;)

the weirdgirl | 5:22 PM

Oh, poor guy, hope he feels better soon. Hang in there!

(Psst! And if you learn how to get them to kick down some cash, can you let me know?

Of course, with Archer you could probably just enter him in some of those baby beauty pageants.)

Mom101 | 4:28 AM

I'm sorry the roomie's under the weather. I guess you have to go buy him ramen noodles and the latest issue of Cosmo, huh.