The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is on Fire!

Um, hell-looooo? Hell-oh!? 109 degrees in Hollywood this past weekend? No air-conditioning. Sick baby and now sick mommy. Good times. Good times. Truly. And to quote the local news, "Well, folks. You probably noticed it feels like hell here in the city of angels."

We have since escaped the heat and are currently hiding out at my parental's house like refugees. It was so hot I was literally hallucinating when packing my bag and ended up with a bag full of wife-beaters (6) a swimsuit and three bottles of perfume. I suppose subconsciously, smelling good was more important than wearing pants this week, not that it matters. I'm sick and tired and fear that our house has caught fire up in the Ellay and/or my shoes have melted to create leather soup in my closet.

I hate the heat. Hate. I've never been able to handle it when it gets above 80 and feel like punching someone in the face right now I'm so irritable and bleh.

I'll let you in on a little secret that isn't quite a secret in our house because I'm constantly whining about it: I'm ready to move. I've been ready for about five years now. When I met my baby's papa I had just registered with the peace corps to volunteer as a sex-educator in Morocco. (And here I am complaining about the heat, right? I wouldn't have lasted a week there. I would have gone berserk.)

Now that I am married with a child, the peace corps is out and now that I am married to a man who works in television, moving out of hot-as-balls-lately-LA isn't in our near future either, although this week I have been pushing- hard.

"There's TV in Portland (and Cookies, glorious Cookies.) You could work on the news, maybe?"


"What? Or Seattle. Don't you know people in Seattle?"

"Not the right people."

"What about Vancouver? Everyone is shooting in Vancouver these days. Canada is so hot right now or New Zealand? You can catch up with Peter Jackson and we can enjoy a moderate climate and people who don't drive Hummers to the grocery store."

"We'll see."

Am I making progress? Perhaps. But as we kick around my parents house, me in my wife-beaters and perfume, Archer in his diaper and snot-nose, living off the land (aka my parent's refrigerator) I'm kinda wondering if we should just make our home here. There's a pool, free food and a roof over our heads that isn't on fire.

Refugees represent in the 760. At least until it pipes the f down up there in hell.



Andrea | 11:28 AM

Dude, I know. I KNOW! What's with this freakin' weather? Glad to know you have some place to go.

Pants are overrated.

Anonymous | 11:49 AM

Hey O'side here. This weather is so crazy! I cant imagine not having A/C right now as I am 6 months preggo and even using the blow dryer makes me faintish. Hope you all feel better soon :)


motherbumper | 12:21 PM

Oh I so hear you on the heat. I've written many a post on the humidity and heat of the city I call home. And to contemplate moving while in a delirium? Ewwwwwww.

Stay cool, heal, and work it for all that's there. Word.

oh my god, I just wanted to share that my word verification word is GDOG!!!! I'm so serious and that's so funny... omigod it's so freakin' hot...

Anonymous | 12:42 PM

A sex ed teacher in Morocco? Girl you are amazing.

However, I don't know how you are doing it with no a/c.

Anonymous | 12:56 PM

yeah, tell him to move to new zealand. then we can hang out more :)

MrsFortune | 2:26 PM

New Zealand would be cool except for all the sheep. You could learn to knit. Moving in with the parents doesn't seem like the kind of career move I'm envisioning for you, so I can't approve it.

They do have Bravo, right, so you'll be able to watch PR tonight?

Pinterest Failures | 2:40 PM

I would totally move to New Zealand. In the meantime, enjoy your parents place, get better and relax!

Ms. Smoochy | 5:21 PM


I just moved to CA and I am already DONE withh it. I'm ready to move back to FL; at least people believe in air conditioning down there. My baby and I have been living in our undies. Glad you have someplace to escape to.


Oh dear. Please keep cool!!!

Mom101 | 5:47 PM

All I've heard from the elay office all week is "the heat! the heat!" so I feel you. If it's any consolation, I don't think it's much better in San Jose. I'm sure the entire blogosphere will be filled with comiserating posts all weekend. Hang in there!

(PS My friend Hally is an int'l sex educator, more or less. Her blog is in my blogroll: Queen Haline if you're looking for a kindred spirit)

Anonymous | 6:25 PM

What you might do is see how many words you can think of that rhyme with heat---by the time you're finished, it will be least here it'll be fall. There in LA LA it will be a bit less warm.
...cheat, feet, Crete, beat, beet, meet, meat, sheet, fleet,...
you get the idea...

Keri | 7:13 PM

Umm, I may be overlooking something here or am just plain ignorant but can't you get an AC where you are living?


I wish! We have a window unit that doesn't fit our windows. The curse of the old Angeleno building. Sad face.

Anonymous | 9:58 PM

I have to say it is pretty sweet over here on Vancouver Island. We had a few hot days, but it stays pretty nice (if you don't mind the crazy rain that comes in the fall and ends right before summer). I lived in Salt Lake City before this with no air conditioning so I have felt that pain. Good luck, hopefully you can get home soon (at least to get some pants!)

Awesome Mom | 10:33 PM

This weekend was total hell. I loath the heat. The kicker was that my husband could not understand why I wanted to go to the beach. It is cooler there, duh!!!

Anonymous | 1:04 AM

Yo! You in the 760? Holla!

It's an even hotter hell up here. Screw conservation...we got it goin' on igloo style!

Anonymous | 1:57 AM

yeah it's hot here too...but try living like this without AIR CON!!

Jaelithe | 7:25 AM

Hey, my momma lives in Washington state, and she says it's been 100-104 degrees there all week. As does Al Roker, so I know she's not pulling my leg . . .

I don't think there's ANYWHERE in the US of A you could go at this time to escape this crazy heat. It's been in the 90-105 degree range here in my town for like two weeks.

I think your best bet is to move to British Columbia. They make all sorts of TV shows there.



I'm thinking BC is for me. Canada here we come.

Binky | 1:05 PM

The no-pants thing is cracking me up. It reminds me of the time you blogged about another incident in which you forgot a change of clothes for Archer but remembered all his hats. I just love that stuff. It makes me feel less alone when I do absentminded things, like putting my keys in the freezer when I come home from the grocery store.

--Binky (with a new blog)

Denice | 1:50 PM

Just found your blog from ninepounddictator - and I love it! Will be back to read it daily :)

I live in Calgary, Alberta where there's starting to be lots of film and TV stuff (from the USA), and today it's a beautiful 90 degrees - and that's about as hot as it gets here. Try us out!

Fraulein | 2:55 PM's 90ish and humid here in Boston today, but I guess I can't complain! I'm sure my elderly in-laws in L.A. are delighted...I'll have to make sure my hubby's siblings are checking in on them...

kittenpie | 8:57 PM

We are burning up here too - last week Pumpkinpie had a fever in the heat as well - it's scary. Misterpie suggested moving in with his parents too, but I prefer this hell here...

Creative-Type Dad | 11:11 PM

Hell ya' it's hot!

I want to pull the radio out of the car when I hear those "Flex Your Power" commercials. Uhhhh...yeah, like I'm going to what? Open the windows and grab a beer...

mo-wo | 4:19 AM

Yeah Vancouver -- Vancouver. Our Morroccan community is small but I would expect there is a niche who really needs to be sexually edumacated.