Say My Name?

I think he can say mama. Just like that one time six months ago I'm pretty sure he said da-gon (dragon) and for a month he called the dog Coo-cah (Cooper) but then the "words" suddenly stopped and we're back to plthhh-hhh and healkljkijakjd! akjslaks? And dit-dit-dit as our language.



"Can he talk?" the people ask.

"Sure. He can talk. He just doesn't feel like it right now or ever actually."

"What can he say?"

"Just you know, the usual stuff."

But today instead of reaching out for me and saying Mama (Which he only does sometimes when he's in the mood *aka* once, three weeks ago) he said "Be-cah" which is my name. Becca. Rebecca. Hi. How you doing.

I was impressed for a minute and then I got this nightmare-ish portrait in my head of me and the Archer ten years from now, windows down, cruising cross-country Diet Soda & Doritos Road Trip and me looking freakishly masculine, kind of like a Desperate Housewife in prosthesis and him being all "Yo Becca, pass the Red Vines" and me being all, "Dude, turn up the stereo, I love this shit," and me giving him a high-five and him calling me Becca and me calling him dude and me losing my hormone medication and being really scared that he might find out the truth about my penis:



"No, baby. It's mama, not Becca."

"Be-cah."

"Yeah, but no. I really don't want to have that kind of relationship with you. I mean, I want to be your friend and all but I'm not down with the call the parent by the first name thing. Mmmm-mmmm. Not so much. You can call me anything but Becca. You can call me plthhhhhh or if you prefer, "dit"...?

"Be-be-be-becah."

"Really cute and charming but this is it. Final word. End of discussion."

Seriously, end of discussion.



Luckily the name-calling stopped soon after I bribed the little guy with crackers and did my funny-dance which involves a book on my head and a baby monitor as walkie-talkie and a lot of falling on my face. He laughed and forgot all about his new word.

In this modern world I suppose children who call their mothers by first name is bordering on posh. Yes, very Architectural Digestesque. Very CEO Alpha-Mom. There is such a fine-line between that and my white-trash nightmare (great film, btw) Hm. Maybe I had it all backward. Perhaps now I can join the Power-Club for Moms by default.

Power suits, here we come.

GGC

21 comments:

Gina | 12:50 PM

Just goes to show how smart he is... he knows you are Becca...

Hippie Mama | 2:19 PM

Wow he is smart! I would actually like to be called by my name instead of mom, because in a way it seems more personal. But whenever I tell my husband that, he looks at me in horror and repeats "mama mama mama" to the baby while pointing at me.

Binky | 2:33 PM

Phew! I'm glad your bait and switch crackers-and-funny-dance tactic was able to distract him. You should be good for another ten minutes ;) But, seriously, I was relieved to see you mention the very thing that had me concerned about my own daughter--she'll do or say something for awhile and then suddenly forget she ever had such skills...for months at a time! The girl just remembered how to wave and clap her hands after a two month hiatus. But if the intellectual and urbane Archer does that too, I am no longer worried. It's clearly a sign of greatness.

kittenpie | 2:53 PM

Pumkinpie uses both - usually mommy/daddy, but when the mood strikes, she'll call us by name instead. I always used both as a kid too, so I'm okay with it as a part-time thing. I looove that last picture - what a hilarious expression.

And btw - is he better now? I hope so - I loved the sick roomie post - so true, but with a fun spin.

Misfit Hausfrau | 6:38 PM

What a little smarty pants! My 17 mo old just runs around yelling MAMAMAMAMAMAMA if I dare leave her site. My 3 year old started calling me by my first name recently--especially when she is mad at me. "Dawnan, you come here. Right NOW!"

Nice.

Mona | 9:47 PM

Both Becca and Mama have two syllables and are both easy to say. Maybe you can play air guitar to "Bohemian Rhapsody" when Freddie Mercury belts out "MAMA, oooooo..."

Worth a try.

sunshine scribe | 3:40 AM

He's damn cute. And smart. He may be calling you Becca for a while if he is rewarded with the dance :)

I have no desire to be in the power mom's club and feel very weird when my son calls me by my first name. I like bing mom or mommy or some derivative of that. I used to think it was cool when my boyfriend from highschool called his parents by their first name and thought I'd like that with my child. But now...not so much. I am such an old fart now!

Mother | 5:26 AM

Q calls the huz DOUG sometimes. It's hilarious.

Christina | 5:31 AM

Cordy calls my husband daddy, but she rarely calls me mama. Most of the time, I have no name at all to her. She doesn't call me anything. It's true, my daughter seems to be Mindy from Animaniacs: "OK, lady, I love you! Bye-bye!"

me/myself/I | 5:58 AM

Hi!
I`ve been reading your blog for a while now, after stumbling across it some time ago, and I.JUST.LOVE.IT!! You are a fantastic writer, and from what I can tell, a fantastic mom/Becca as well!

Andrea | 7:09 AM

That's why I'm glad my name is Andrea, three syllables, hard as crap to say. That doesn't stop Gabe from shouting, "Mike! Miiiiiiikkke!" Mike is bothered by the first name basis too. "Who am I? Dad-dee!" is becoming a mantra in our house. I giggle, but I also shudder.

MrsFortune | 11:07 AM

Oh dude, I am sooooooo not down with the call parents by the first name thing. My cousins did that when they were younger and I thought they were the biggest freaks!! My step-daughter ONCE referred to her grandmother as "pat" (usually she calls her grandma pat so it's not a big stretch) and I chewed her out for an hour. Nope. Adults are not called by first names unless they really, really want the kid to do that. Not in my house.

Okay Ward. There's a problem with the Beaver. God I sound like a fogey.

Chag | 11:20 AM

My daughter sometimes slips and calls my wife or me by our names. We're not cool with that, either.

But your little dude is smart. And is obviously paying attention, so watch what you say.

jennifer starfall | 11:23 AM

i love that movie.

Whirlwind | 1:13 PM

I remember the day my daughter learned to call my husband by name. My BF thought it was funny until her daughter learned to call her by her name. Eventually Archer will call you mommy (and never stop).

Jaelithe | 1:26 PM

"Daddy" was my son's first word. "Mama" was a distant third (or fourth-- not sure if he was saying "cup" or not those few times). But he does say my husband's first name instead occasionally, when he's calling for his dad from across the house.

As in, my son will say, in an urgent, exasperated voice, "JOHN! JOHN! Can you hear me, John? Come here now! Come now!"

Now, I wonder where the little dude picked that act up . . .

Alisyn | 5:06 PM

I love it!

Hazel calls both Mike and I by our first names frequently (because she hears her friends doing it so often, we think) and secretly? I kind of love it.

jennster | 5:21 PM

LOL- he is the smartest baby in the WHOLE WORLD!!!!

Her Bad Mother | 7:09 PM

Assume that it's the latter: you're beyond hip, totally AD, and he's ahead of his time.

And be grateful that he's not calling you Bitch.

Karen | 9:10 PM

My daughter called me "K" until she was two-and-a-half. Everyone thought it was hilarious. Except me. She started using mommy all of a sudden, when her baby brother came home from the hospital.

Mom101 | 5:37 PM

I'm so behind on blogs (ie the good ones, ie yours) it's embarrassing.

This is fantastic. Bec, if he called you poops-a-lot it would still be a triumph and we'd all be gushing. A cute little man will do that to a reader.