Sounds like a great album title right? Or perhaps a poem about Orion and Sagittarius at war in the skies? And by poem I'm referring to Jewel as "poet" not Rilke. Who will saaaaaa-aaaaave your soul?...
The childcare at our gym offers a vast selection of boys and girls. You heard me. Boys and girls are everywhere and all named after stars and flowers and something in the sky. It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's... Orion. Or Archer? Wait. YOUR kid's name is Archer? My kid's name is Archer.
As per many parents today, Archer's name came from the well of uncommon names right in there with Reverie for a girl. Coming face to face with another Archer and Co. was slightly annoying and also a major cawinky-dink considering our boys were the same age and looked like they could be brothers.
I could tell I wasn't the only annoyed party. The other Archer's Dad was staring me down, judging my ass. Thankfully I look very tough in a wife-beater.
Blow the whistle, bitches. Let the games begin!
"How old is your Archer?"
"So is mine, well almost fourteen. Mine is a little bit older."
"Why did you name him Archer?"
"Because blah blah blah."
"Is your Archer walking?"
"Yeah. He can run too."
"Oooooh, special! Well MY Archer can read US Weekly cover to cover and still have room for Life & Style."
"Well my Archer can do my taxes."
"My Archer likes to pants little girls."
"MY Archer has two Daddies."
"MY Archer has an Uncle Frank and two pet dragons."
That's when we won. WE were better and MY Archer had a red blankie and a nu-nu. He was also better dressed. Ha! Let this be a warning to all other Archers out there. There's only room for one in the H-Wood, playas.