When Archers Collide

Sounds like a great album title right? Or perhaps a poem about Orion and Sagittarius at war in the skies? And by poem I'm referring to Jewel as "poet" not Rilke. Who will saaaaaa-aaaaave your soul?...

The childcare at our gym offers a vast selection of boys and girls. You heard me. Boys and girls are everywhere and all named after stars and flowers and something in the sky. It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's... Orion. Or Archer? Wait. YOUR kid's name is Archer? My kid's name is Archer.

As per many parents today, Archer's name came from the well of uncommon names right in there with Reverie for a girl. Coming face to face with another Archer and Co. was slightly annoying and also a major cawinky-dink considering our boys were the same age and looked like they could be brothers.

I could tell I wasn't the only annoyed party. The other Archer's Dad was staring me down, judging my ass. Thankfully I look very tough in a wife-beater.

Blow the whistle, bitches. Let the games begin!

"How old is your Archer?"
"Thirteen months."
"So is mine, well almost fourteen. Mine is a little bit older."
"Why did you name him Archer?"
"Because blah blah blah."
"Is your Archer walking?"
"Nope. Yours?"
"Yeah. He can run too."
"Oooooh, special! Well MY Archer can read US Weekly cover to cover and still have room for Life & Style."
"Well my Archer can do my taxes."
"My Archer likes to pants little girls."
"MY Archer has two Daddies."
"MY Archer has an Uncle Frank and two pet dragons."

That's when we won. WE were better and MY Archer had a red blankie and a nu-nu. He was also better dressed. Ha! Let this be a warning to all other Archers out there. There's only room for one in the H-Wood, playas.

GGC

28 comments:

Mel | 1:08 PM

Fucking cracking up over here!
I named my older girl a name I thought was extremely unique (BTW, I have NEVER met another human named Archer, so he'd totally be unique in Portland) and was chastened and extremely pissed the first time I heard someone calling their kid by my kid's name.
Heh.
I gave up with the second girl and named her something sweet, old-fashioned, and common.

Motherhood Uncensored | 1:50 PM

Pet dragons win every time.

Wood from sweetjuniper | 2:08 PM

Of COURSE your Archer was better dressed. I imagine he had a way better hat, too. No competition, really.

brooke | 2:38 PM

I have an Oliver (4years) and I remember being greatly offended when I heard another little boy with the same name. I've only ever met 1 though.

LadySeduction | 5:28 PM

One of daughters has a really unique name too and my husband gets totally pissed off when he hears about another girl named the same....this was hilarious!

Mother Bumper | 5:51 PM

Pfffshfttt... no contest. Your Archer will always win, hands down. I mean.. HE's ARCHER for goodness sake!

Mom101 | 5:55 PM

Hilarious! My money's on your Archer for sure. Did I ever tell you that if we had a boy, we were going to name him Orion? Very Jewish, I know.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 7:40 PM

No way! I wanted Orion too. Great name.

Christina | 8:17 PM

Of course your Archer won. And if there was doubt, I'm sure your Archer could outwit his Archer in a second. Or at least pants him.

I have yet to meet another mom with a daughter named Cordelia, so I guess I'm safe for now.

Kristin | 8:27 PM

The red blankie... no one can touch the boy.

Andrea | 8:29 PM

Even if the dragons didn't win it for him, the hats so would've.

Mona | 2:52 AM

You should totally get a shirt that says, "My Archer > Your Archer".

Dragons would be optional.

kittenpie | 6:40 AM

Plus, your Archer is a blogstar! (not a dogstar, heh heh)
Yeah, we took time choosing a name that is not in common rotation, though not totally unique, but now I've heard of a few others around. And I totally feel like they stole my name. Grrr.

Sassy Student | 8:43 AM

I've never met ANYONE with my first name, much less my first and second name, and I've only heard of boys with my first name. I'm safe on the unique front, I think.

Dude, and your Archer is totally cool. You should have told the other Archer's dad that YOUR archer has a legion of internet fans and a really cool mom with a blog.

duh. totally better than running, doing taxes, or having two daddies. (Two daddies are cool but we're cooler, no?)

Xdm | 9:34 AM

We haven't met another baby named Beck yet, but I do field questions such as, "Do you think people will sing, 'I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me' to him on the playground?"
/smack/
I have to go to Ireland for other Siobhans.

J's Mommy | 9:37 AM

Go Archer! I mean your Archer, of course. Not the imitator.

mothergoosemouse | 11:44 AM

HA! There's an Orion at Tacy's school.

I'm just waiting for Virgo to materialize.

merseydotes | 11:50 AM

I'm a baby name FREAK, and when my daughter was born, I made spreadsheets tracking the popularity of all the names we liked because I didn't want her to be one of X number of girls in her class with the same name. We have never met a little girl with my DD's name, though one of my new favorite bloggers has a daughter (and is also in northern VA) with the same name. I think my kid's older though, so I win.

Jaelithe | 12:07 PM

Aw, man, I hate this. When I settled on the name "Isaac" for my son, I was seven months pregant, and the name was retro. Antiquated, even. It was like the 457th most popular baby name in the U.S. (I would have striven for something even more unusual, if it weren't for the fact that we have a highly unusual last name that sounds like a first name, so I didn't want him to be stuck with a first name that everyone thought was a last name. Like me, ever since I got married. Ahem).

And now it's in the top ten.

WHY? WHY?

This baby name thing has me nearly convinced that there is some sort of collective human consciousness deciding fashion trends. Ugh.

Her Bad Mother | 7:15 PM

Yes! Smacked down by Uncle Frank and the dragons and a greater sense of style.

Was there ever any doubt?

Alisyn | 9:44 PM

Don't you feel so ripped off, now?! Knowing that there's another Archer in the world (even though he isn't as cute or well dressed)? Man, I HATE that!

Stupid baby name thiefs.

mm | 6:38 PM

I have yet to meet a Canadian Archer... we have dragons in our house too (are we allowed seeing as we do not have an Archer?)! Your Archer will always win, hands down! My daughter has a unique, yet now gaining in popularity name... I keep having to explain it (it has accents and all) and tag on the whole... We picked this before Mr. Jackson got his chubby little fingers on LOTR! Sigh...
Our boys (also odd names) will only get beaten up every other day on the playground... I hope. Will find out this fall when #1 goes to school.

tallgirl | 7:46 AM

I hear the only reason that the other Archer even has any friends is because he lives near a pool. Most kids thinks he is odd because he doesn't have a red blankie.

At least that is what peanut told me.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 9:54 AM

Ha! Straight up, true.

Alexis | 6:57 PM

NICE. I just had a baby in August and named him Archer. Funny, it wasn't even on my list of baby names. Didn't want Archibald and Archie wasnt nearly sexy enough.I actually stumbled on this site because I was trying to find another person named Archer...Yeah I live in KY so the name always gets a ...'say what?' when he's introduced. And by the way he's a fucking warrior.

Alexis | 7:07 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alexis | 7:14 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
EminTaos | 4:53 PM

RRRRR.....and my husband and I thought Archer was such an incredibly unusual and unheard of name. He came up with the idea on his own because he is an actual bow hunter. This is the third or fourth Archer now I've heard of since deciding to name him that. I'm happy a few other kids get to have the great name too, but I hope it doesn't gain in popularity like my name (emily), which became #1 name for a long time.