Mo' Momversation

Talking about my vag, today, per usual on Momversation with Daphne, Mindy and Asha! re: Vaginal birth vs. C-Section:



And be sure to check out the other episodes that debuted this week, "Do You Use Food as a Reward for Your Kids?" and "What do You Do When You Disagree with your Partner's Parenting Decisions?

Also your comments on my last post(s)? Amazing. I want to make out with each and every one of you. Hard. 

GGC

22 comments:

Kelly | 10:39 AM

You said, "Jacked up my vag(or is it vaj)," and I peed a little from my own jacked up vag(j). Hilarious.

GREAT topic. I couldn't give a flying flip how other people choose to birth their children, but it did bother me an eensy teensy bit when a friend of mine said she was "begging" her OBGYN for an elective C-Section because her hubby didn't want her vag(j) to be "too loose". Um, yep.

Tracey | 11:00 AM

Exactly. I don't CARE how you deliver your child. Nor should anyone else. The focus is on having a healthy/living mother and baby. The End. All the other stuff regarding the process? It's just filler...

goodfather | 12:16 PM

Heh, I'm treading where real men, um, crap, start over.

As a guy who will never give birth, I give a large berth around this topic - childbirth, no matter how it occurs, is sacred in my book. I'm with tracey - all that matters is the safety and health of the mother and child.

Amanda | 1:22 PM

I wish I could participate on the MOMversation. Alas, my usual computer hasn't been able to pick up internet signal so I'm stuck using the fiance's old college laptop.

All I have to say about forms of birth is- who the eff cares?!

It's highly aggravating that there is this new form of pomposity regarding c-sections vs. vaginal birth. I hear a lot of women give other women grief for having a c-section, sometimes even going as far to say "they are less of a woman". Unfortunately, I had these women's voices barking at me in my head as my doctor told me I'd be having a c-section. I cried and cried as my mom, aunt and fiance tried to re-assure me, my nurse tried to comfort me through the tears, and eventually a sort of anger and numbness engulfed me as I was forced to give up my option of a natural birth.

It wasn't pleasant, to say the least. The local anesthesia wasn't working right and I got to feel the last little slice of the scapel and the doctors hand plunging into my abdomen. I freaked out and started to wail until they finally had to use general anesthesia to knock me out completely. To this day, I think that thats what death may feel like. 1-2-3-4-...and your off!

After, the recovery was a wicked bitch. I can only thank god for Percocet and a helpful significant other. Luckily, I recovered quickly through walking (getting up the day after my surgery was THE WORST pain I've EVER experienced and probably ever will, physically anyway) and determination.

Either way, birth in whatever form, is a battle. And women should support each other as the freaking amazing warrioresses we are.

B | 2:20 PM

I agree with the end of that mini segment. The rest was, in all honesty pretty lame and sounded pro c-section to me. You all should try to cover the spectrum more if you are going to unite and say "Yes, everyone can shoot their kid the way they think is safe", which I TOTALLY agree with.

The sad truth is: it is really up to the pregnant woman to educate herself and help her doctor along in making most medical decisions. (Like when you switched docs w/ Fable! Totally taking power back=awesome). I also believe most doctors are schmucks though.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 2:59 PM

Yeah, B. Agreed about docs being shmucks. I LIVED that. Unfortunately there was a lot of good stuff missing from the final cut of this episode, including talk of "The Business of Being Born" and the medical community being WAY too C-Section happy.

B | 3:12 PM

Dang! This was the first momversation I watched so I went to the site and watched another one incase the abbreviated format was the idea and I totally stuck my foot in my mouth but the other one was longer and seemed like it addressed more sides/views. So, I hope I didn't sound too negative because I LOVE the idea behind momversation and so cool that you are a part of it.

anita doberman | 6:15 PM

Well, I have 5 c-sections, yeah, 5 sections. Honestly, I wish I could have gone the other way, but it wasn't possible for me so I dealt with it after losing two pregnancies.
I enjoyed watching the episode and the conversation about c-section vs. vaginal delivery!
Cheers,
Anita

Kim Hosey | 6:32 PM

Great topic. Personally, I felt like I had the worst of both worlds. I had labor for almost a full day, was fully dilated ... and then I almost bled out in labor, so they did an emergency C-section to save my son and me. Unfortunately, since it was an emergency C-section, they did it in under nine minutes, and it got horribly infected. The doctor came up, talking to my mom and me, grabbed the half-healed infected incision, and said "Well, it's pretty bad. We're gonna have to let it heal open. It's already closing so we'll have to..." RIIIIP "open it up." Yep. He ripped me back open.

So yeah, much suckitude, many months recovering. And I heard all the "natural is better" business beforehand. But all I ever really cared was that my son was fine.

April | 7:10 PM

good topic.

i tried SO SO SO hard to deliver naturally with both my kids and ended up with an emergency c-section the first time bc baby went into distress and an emergency section due to a ruptured uterus the second time.

despite the fact that i KNOW the sections were totally necessary and saved me and my babies, i still feel a sense of failure over it and HATE that i will be a scheduled section for any future babies.

it's so silly, both my babies are PERFECT and it so doesn't matter how they got here, but it still irks me when a friend is able to deliver naturally. *sigh*

sorry for the rant ;-)

Pam | 7:20 PM

"...everybody just keep thier trap shut..." yeah...what she said!

chantalart | 7:30 PM

I found that ultimately, once my daughter was born and here with me, the way she had been delivered was so completely irrelevant- not that I had even cared. Being safe and healthy was always my only priority. For all the obsessing women do over their birth plans, isn't it all about having this amazing baby in your arms and that you both made it through the process? Women and babies used to die in childbirth all the time- I think we're fortunate we have the knowledge to prevent that from happening.
And as far as a superiority of vaginal over c-sec: I had a vaginal birth. It was terrible. I tore and the recovery was NOT quick. At 3.5 months postpartum I went to the gym to try to do a sit up and I could feel where my stitches had been...and it was not good. At 4 months postpartum I was finally able to have sex again and it still took 2 more months to reach any level of comfort or enjoyment. So what's superior? My friends with C-sections recovered faster than I did.

Angella | 9:28 AM

The "jacked up my vag" comment cracked me up. Only because I know all too well what you were referring to...

ct | 9:31 AM

At April, I know how you feel. I had an emergency c-section with my daughter and feel like I got robbed of the natural childbirth. Even though it was necessary, it still feels like your body failed you.

Danielle | 11:54 AM

I haven't heard any judging coming from vaginal birth mothers if there is an emergancy. But I have heard flack when a mom decided to scedule a c-section when she was 37wks because she was "sick of being pregnant". I think because so MANY are done that we forget that it is a real MAJOR surgery and people shouldn't be able to just take it lightly.

But if I am in distress or my baby is then you do whatever is needed to help us. I could care less.

Memarie Lane | 6:37 PM

no one should judge anyone for their method of birth. sometimes it's a choice, and sometimes it's just out of our hands. i had one medical birth and it was hell, then i had two wonderful water births (one of them just 7 weeks ago). i thank god i had the choice available. right now the ama is trying to take that choice away and make homebirth illegal, even though it's been proven safe for low risk pregnancies. the ama needs to stay out of my snatch.

Samtastic | 7:56 PM

i wanted a vaginal birth badly. my water broke on its on, i labored quickly, was fully dilated and then my kid was stuck in a weird position and wouldn't move. then his heart rate began dropping into the low 60's during any contractions or any pushing. i was scared to DEATH. the only way he was going to come out period, much less come out safely, was c-section and so i was rushed into emergency surgery. the next morning was the worst pain that i have EVER been in EVER in my life. the next few days were compete and total misery, being nearly bedridden and trying to nurse and care for a new baby.

i don't know what it's like to have a vaginal birth and probably never will, but i am pretty sure i can speak for a lot of new mothers when i say that regardless of how the babe comes out, we still go through the same things. we still recovery from something serious, we still struggle, we still have hell week (or weeks), we still cry, and scream, and feel completely overwhelmed. we are all playing for the same team here - we all want what is best for our children specifically, but also for all of our children's peers who will hopefully come together to make a better generation than our own.

Another Bec | 12:41 AM

Grapefuit? What grapefruit? I don't have kids yet and I must know what this grapefruit tumour is before I get knocked up!

hoppytoddle | 1:04 PM

Nobody's brought up the issue of that having a section is considered to be a pre-existing condition by many insurance companies & is used as a basis for charging higher premiums. If you are on a group plan, they use this as an excuse to raise premiums for everybody on the plan.

Yes, I had a traumatic emergency section. I think it was because I was induced too early. I speak up about my experience in the hopes that I can help another woman, not because I want to judge other people. If someone had told me that being induced almost doubles the chance you're going to have a section, maybe I would have been able to introduce my husband to our baby, instead of the other way around.

Anonymous | 8:21 AM

Yeah -- seriously -- can someone explain the grapefruit?!?!?!?

Dari | 12:20 PM

I feel like there is a little bit of a superiority complex from moms who have birth vaginally or want to.

I was planning on having a vag birth and by the last month of pregnancy my baby was breech. We toyed with the option of turning her but it was my first and she was really big, so my chances of success were very small. I didn't end up trying to turn her and I had a planned C section, LUCKILY... because the cord was wrapped around her a few times and she was 9lbs 12 oz!! The Dr said it was good we didn't try.

Before I had her and knew at this point that I was having a C-section, I had a lot of anxiety because of everyone's judgements and horror C-section stories. My C-section ended up being a piece of cake, so was recovery and Lola is here safe and sound thanks to a C section.

GIRL'S GONE CHILD | 5:45 PM

Re: The Grapefruit? I have no idea. I had no Grapefruit and have no idea what she's talking about. Ha! Maybe she's talking about hemorrhoids? Regardless there was no grapefruit in my pants for either pregnancy/post.