We (Will) Evolve

Today I rejoice for Obama but I also mourn for Proposition 8's sinister win. It seems that just as we've taken two steps forward as a nation by electing Barack Obama as President we have also taken two steps back in the state of California, a place that, until today, I have been proud to call home for twenty-six years.

Obama made history yesterday but as he stepped forward into the light, monsters were still lurking in the darkness. As we came together to rejoice the change in the direction of America, a different kind of change was being decided upon -- a change in the state constitution to remove the right for same-sex couples to marry. Good people. My friends.

And because of Proposition 8 passing, I found myself unable to fully celebrate last night. And today I feel robbed of the pride I should be feeling. The hope I should have for my country.

Last night was momentous and I couldn't help but think, as I clinked champagne glasses with those of my friends, my daughter in my arms and son at my feet, that this would be a night I would remember always. A defining moment in the history of this country and in my life.

As the first family stepped onto the stage I marveled at the unification the Obamas signified. The personification of equality and change. The fact that TODAY it is possible for ALL parents in the United States, regardless of race and ethnicity to BELIEVE when they tell their children, "sky's the limit!"

Unfortunately, when it comes to Gay rights, we're still stalled on the tarmac. And when the champagne bottles had all been emptied and we had finished hugging each other goodbye, I felt a certain sadness overtake me, a feeling of shame. One I wanted desperately to replace with the hope and pride I felt watching Obama take the stage with his family.

I spoke to my mother, last night, who said to me "when we were children, we would have never guessed that in our lifetime we would see a black U.S. President. It's extraordinary to see how far, as a nation, we've come."

And I thought to myself, hopeful, that perhaps one day, when my children are old enough to participate in an election, they might call me to rejoice over the election of the first openly gay President of the United States.

That I might look back on this day, and like my own mother, marvel at how far we've come.

Because indeed we can come together and evolve as a nation. But as Obama said so eloquently in his acceptance speech, there is still work to be done.

For now, I'll keep fighting and believing in the NECESSITY that is equal rights for ALL men and women, and I will, as they say, cling to hope.

To quote my new President, "yes we can!"

And I encourage all of you to join hands and fight until we do.



Unknown | 1:24 PM

I literally could not say this any better than you so eloquently have. We have a long way to go, but I have to believe we will get there. Yes, we can!

Karen | 1:29 PM

We were watching you closely, from the state of New York. I had great hopes, and I share your disappointment. But take heart: your mother is right. Change is gonna come, in your lifetime.

And what gave me the most encouragement last night was listening to President Obama (!!!!!!) include LGBT in his list of people he intends to bring to the table. That's a first, and a sign of things to come.

Anonymous | 1:32 PM

I am so with you. I feel robbed in a way, a small way, because I want to be uninhibited in my joy and celebration, but I can't because my state has decided to trample on the constitutional rights of a particular group of people just because they're "different" that others. My best friend is still not allowed to get married in his home state. And as one of my other dear friends said this morning "[it] feels like I'm being told to celebrate at the back of the bus." And it's so incredibly heartbreaking.

Anonymous | 1:33 PM

so amazingly written. i felt the exact same way last night and this morning. but lingering on fear and disappointment will only remind us what the republicans have done to this nation. hope obama reminded us is what will guide us, and i hope that soon we will learn to let go of what divides us and remember what an amazing people we are.

ok i am a corn hole but really moved by our new nation.


wonderspot? that just broke my heart. and coco? i absolutely agree. in order to overcome discrimination of our peeps we must believe in the goodness of this country and the people who live and love here. i'm hoping that our days of division are soon behind us completely.

Miss Emish | 1:38 PM

My state hasn't voted on gay marriage issues (MN), but every state that does I feel such shame for what it says about us as a Nation. In the future we will look back on these propositions with as much shame and disgust as we do banning of interracial relationships. Wisconsin has also banned gay marriage in a previous election cycle. Last night Arizona passed a ban against gay marriage and Arkansas voted to ban gay couples adopting children. Amongst my joy at Obama's victory, I feel so sad we deny love. But I have hope. I haven't had that for a long time. This was a beautiful post.

Anonymous | 1:49 PM

My joy about electing a grown-up for president was also tinged with sadness and anger about the childishness of H8 passing. I got new hope this morning though, when I learned that 1) the proposition may be illegal and could be struck down by our state supreme court, and 2) the absentee ballots weren't included in the total.

So there's still a chance the fearful, hateful douches who want to deny equal rights to people who are different than them (or are they? I think a lot of this is driven by closet homosexuality!) won't prevail, after all.


Anonymous | 1:53 PM

"And because of Proposition 8 passing, I found myself unable to fully celebrate last night."

I completely agree! It sickens and saddens me that so many people are against gay marriage when it really should be none of their business. If anything it will give the state MORE MONEY. Even people in the black and latino communities are against it when they have been discriminated against. I don't get it. Well, it's all because if their religious beliefs really. Although, I didn't expect America to fully GROW UP all in one night. African Americans had to struggle for YEARS, and racism STILL exists. I guess we need to wait a while and keep fighting. :(

Anonymous | 1:56 PM

I was lucky to be able to celebrate in Grant Park last night. It was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. We were still emotional over the whole thing this morning, but as you have so thoughtfully articulated here, we've still got a long way to go.

Anonymous | 1:57 PM

With all the Obama hysteria, I didn't even know of the Prop 8 outcome until this morning. I was filled with so much hope, for the country and for my kids, who will call these times their childhood, but this made me sad.

Four years ago, I still remember the sense of frustration and dread. ("Screw the nation. They voted that idiot in AGAIN!") I can only imagine the people, directly effected by Prop 8, listening to Obama's words of hope and change, and how it's taken the wind out of their sails. I pray they, and all of us, don't lose hope.

Anonymous | 2:01 PM

"And today I feel robbed of the pride I should be feeling. The hope I should have for my country."

thanks for summing up what i have been feeling all day long. i can't believe this happened in california. california wtf!

Anonymous | 2:03 PM


pixie sticks | 2:15 PM

As much as I want to celebrate, I'll admit it - my fucking feelings are hurt. I like the imagery of monsters lurking in the darkness. I keep asking myself who are these people who went to vote for Obama and then turned around and decided to be so hateful at the same time?

Anonymous | 2:23 PM

Beautifully said. Thank you.

Unknown | 2:32 PM

My sentiments exactly. Thank you.

Issa | 2:34 PM

I'm having a hard day because of these same issues. On one hand, I am so moved at what occurred last night, watching history in the making with my girls, feeling like we have finally moved forward. On the other saddened by Prop 8 passing. My sis-in-law, her friends and every gay couple deserves the same rights that I have with my husband. One day it will change. It just seems like change comes slowly and I'm rather impatient.

Steph(anie) | 2:52 PM

Amen sister. All I can say is that it is not over. The day will come when when gay couples can marry [again]. I have faith that it will happen.

Paula | 3:10 PM

Rebecca - I was waiting for your thoughts. I am amazed at how eloquently you put it. I am in Arizona and feel ashamed/disappointed/confused at a state that puts its energies into preventing someone from doing something that doesn't hurt anyone. I cannot understand how a person can believe that letting a gay/lesbian couple get married has any negative impact on their own marriage or relationship. I feel hurt that the people around me would try to prevent someone else from being happy by something so innocent as getting married. And then I feel angry that people can be so arrogant to think they should have the right to decide can and cannot get married. This has been bothering me all day. And I just wish there was something I could do to change the results...it just seems so wrong.

That being said, you remind me...it will happen. It will.

And I can only try to postively share my thoughts so that maybe I can help change one mind at a time on this subject.

ZDub | 3:15 PM

Well said. I'm so disapointed in California. It's not right to do this at all.

Anonymous | 3:17 PM

I'm thrilled that the best candidate won but as a mixed-race person I am sad and angry that the media
insists on labeling Obama as black. His mother was white and while she is sadly no longer alive, she seemed to have been a very good person who worked hard to raise her son the right way.
I treasure both sides of my heritage and I identify with both. I'm tired of the old saw about the "one drop rule." Those days have passed, thank goodness.
When people ask me "what I am," as they sometimes do I tell them I am an American woman of Danish and Ethiopian descent. There are many people out there like me and we deserve to be acknowledged instead of pigeonholed as one race or the other.
BTW, the husband's forbearers were Native American and Scottish. Our children are incredibly beautiful.

Sonja Streuber, PMP(R), SSBB | 3:33 PM

Dude, I hear you! I wish my mom could marry her partner of 30 years, or my Ex his boyfriend. It'll happen--in babysteps, but it will.

In two years, guess what'll be on the ballot? An initiative to strike that madness from the CA Constitution. And if I have to get that going myself ...

Anonymous | 4:15 PM

We're in Exile, but count us in. And we're staying in until equality is equally provided/protected. I want nothing more than to raise my two children to say "So?" if someone points out that Mary has two daddies.

Steph | 4:18 PM

I do live in CA and this is something that was very close to my heart. A friend sent me an email before the election that I really loved, sorry, its lengthy:

Hello Family & Friends,

I don't normally send out political e-mails, but I feel very strongly about Proposition 8 and have been extremely aggravated by the deceptive advertising paid for by the "Yes on Prop 8" campaign. Everyone is entitled to their vote, but I just want those I care about (and who care about me) to know what they are voting for. Some of you who are getting this may not live in California, but this is a proposition that has made national news and will likely set a precedent for the rest of the states in this country, so it it relevant to all Americans.

Unlike what the ads may tell you, Proposition 8 has nothing to do with children being taught about homosexuality in Kindergarden or churches losing their non-profit status for refusing to marry same-sex couples. If you read what is says, all it does is "Eliminate the right for same sex couples to marry." The "Yes on 8" campaign is trying to manipulate people to think they are voting directly to prevent same-sex marriage from being taught to young children. This is merely a "what if?" scenario that is brought on by paranoia and fear. I don't think elementary school children should be taught about homosexuality either, and if it were a proposition about homosexuality only being brought to adolescents attention during the sex education classes taught in middle school (that require a parents signature) than I would be voting yes. But this is simply not what the proposition is.

As far as churches losing their non-profit status for refusing to marry same-sex couples, this is an even bigger stretch. First and foremost, Prop 8 is amending only the CALIFORNIA Constitution, whereas non-profit status is decided by the Federal Government. The government is not going to force a church who does not recognize same-sex marriage to marry a gay couple, which would be a direct violation of the separation of church and state guaranteed by the First Amendment of the US Constitution. And quite frankly, I don't see a lot of gay couples wanting to get married in a church with such views. While many churches are making it out to seem the "Gays are waging war against the Church", it's campaigns like
Yes on Prop 8 that make it seem the other way around.

I am first and foremost a Christian, and I also happen to be gay, which puts me in a very difficult but powerful position during these times where many churches and gay activist groups are in monumental conflict. There are many things that can be learned from the Bible, but what is without a doubt the most important message that Jesus Christ came here to teach us was to LOVE one another. Not to fear and outcast those who we believe to be different or sinful, but to love and embrace them.

All I ask is that when you go to cast your vote next Tuesday, vote with Love and not Fear. Why should my love be deemed lesser than that of heterosexual people? Do you really want to vote for something that is written out of fear of someone else's love?

I've attached below a letter written by someone, with whom I was in a relationship with for 2 years and who remains a friend with whom I love respect immensely. Coming from a different background than myself, he offers another perspective on Prop 8 that is worth considering as well when you go to cast your vote.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and please forward it along to anyone you feel may gain new insight from it.
I welcome back any response you have to this e-mail, whether it be negative or positive.



To concerned California citizen:

The founding fathers of our nation wrote the United States Constitution for the express purpose of protecting certain fundamental rights of the people from governmental intrusion. They chose only the most fundamental of rights to protect: freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the right to confront ones accusers, amongst others. They also provided that any amendment to the Constitution must be approved of not by a majority of votes, but by two-thirds Congress and three-fourths of the states, a near impossibility in our current politically-charged climate.

Amendments to any constitution, whether state or federal, should be used to protect rights from government intrusion, and should not be used to take away the rights of any person. Proposition 8 does exactly that. Proposition 8 attempts to use a vote of the majority of the people to enact prejudices into the California Constitution. The voters in our representative government were heard when the California Legislature voted twice to legalize gay marriage, only to be vetoed by Governor Schwarzenegger. If the denial of a person's fundamental rights were ultimately determined by a majority vote of the people, marriage would probably still be defined as only allowed between persons of the same race, as was the case in many states when this country was founded.

Proposition 8, in fact, condemns homosexual persons to a life of inequality. The ads in support of Proposition 8 say that if the proposition does not pass, our children will be taught about gay marriage in school; this is not true. But, if Proposition 8 does pass, an entire generation of children will be taught that the California Constitution says that homosexuals do not deserve to be treated equally, only provoking the hatred and violence homosexual teens and adults suffer as a result of being deemed "different." Name-calling and indifference simply should not be written in as a fundamental right.

An estimated 77% of the funding for Proposition 8 was contributed by the Mormon Church (an estimated $17.67 million of the $22.88 million collected in support). The church has approximately 770,000 members in the state of California, accounting for about 2% of the state's population. Proposition 8 will likely go down in history as the most costly voter proposition ever, with over $60 million spent by both sides. With so much money being thrown around, it is easy to forget that this is not a vote to support or oppose gay marriage. This is a vote to permanently condemn homosexual persons in this state to a life of being called "different." We are all "different" in our own way, which is what makes this country unlike any other. Wars are being fought every day to protect these fundamental rights we hold so true; while at home, we seem to have forgotten what it truly means to be a free-thinking republic.

Proposition 8 is not a vote to support or oppose gay marriage; it is a vote to permanently take away an individual's right to choose their life on their terms. When you go to the polls on November 4th and cast your vote, I implore you to ask yourself one question: Do I want to cast a vote that permanently takes away any of the rights afforded to my neighbors, my friends, my co-workers, my family, or even my fellow citizens? There really is no other answer: VOTE NO ON PROPOSITION 8.

Thank you for your time and thank you for listening,

That Nora Girl | 5:21 PM

"And I thought to myself, hopeful, that perhaps one day, when my children are old enough to participate in an election, they might call me to rejoice over the election of the first openly gay
President of the United States."

I am crying right now. You've said it so well.

Heather | 5:22 PM

I consider myself a "conservative" (please don't hit me) and did actually vote for McCain (please don't stop reading). The reason that I am a republican is because I feel strongly that government doesn't need to be involved in all aspects of my life. So for me, Proposition 8 is absolutely ridiculous. Why on earth do we need the government to make that decision for us? Not only that but to make it an Amendment to a state constitution. It's just not necessary. Let whoever wants to get married get married.

The problem with a lot of people is that they let their own personal beliefs affect how they feel the government should be run. Also, they are intimidated by those who feel or believe differently then they do. When someone believes or lives a lifestyle that contradicts or challenges theirs it freaks them out. But that is their own problem.

My point is that the government has no place in our personal lives and I agree with you. See some of us conservative folks aren't so bad. :-)

Hope | 5:39 PM

I don't post much on your blog as far as comments but I read it nearly everyday. I am with heathery above. I too voted for McCain (don't shoot me!) -- the whole gov't being so involved in my life is a bit over the top for me, but enough of that. It doesn't matter if I like him -- he's now my president and I will stand behind him (love him or hate him). I hope he serves us better than Bush did. But I truly feel for your state -- I think it's none of the governments damn business if gay people want to get married, have civil unions...whatever they want to call it. Them getting married has ZERO to do with the sanctity of my marriage so I could care less. Marry away baby! It's God's job to do the judging -- not mine or our governments. That's my rant for the day.

hoppytoddle | 7:56 PM

Oh, Bec. Here in FL they did a similar thing. Except here there was already a sufficent law prohibiting same sex marriage. All the old cronies did here was shoot themselves in the foot, they just don't know it yet. Let their spouse die, then make a friend that they share a home with, or not, share expenses with, or not. Let them try to entitle that friend to help them when they need someone there the most. Because they didn't "marry" that person, be it out of loyalty to a long gone past spouse or because if they did, they would lose their social security, they'll be screwed, blued, & tatooed. Okay, maybe they won't have tats, but I digress.

The real problem goes back to the us's & the them's. Who, exactly, is 'us' & 'them'. Where does another feeling, loving, thinking person become so different from you that you are suddenly entitled to keep them from (fill in the blank). Here we are, trying to teach our kids how to find commonalities between themselves & other people & all these other people are busy dividing us.

Like my gram always said, it's the mothers in the living rooms who have all the power. Keep rocking the cradle, mama.

Backpacking Dad | 8:05 PM

There's a glimmer, a spot of hope today.

The ACLU has filed a petition alleging that Prop 8 was an improper act. That what the wording does is "revise" the constitution, a specific process that does NOT lend itself to simple majority vote, and not in fact an amendment. Before 22 was overturned a simple amendment would have been sufficient, but given the status of gay marriage as of yesterday, and not its status prior to Prop 22 being overturned, Prop 8 was an improper change to the constitution. A revision is required, and that takes more work.

A glimmer.


Anonymous | 10:16 PM

As the sister of a Trans sibling and a gay brother-in-law, I was really hoping to see this hateful prop squashed. It left me feeling like there are a lot of hypocrites in this state who claim to be liberal, forward thinking individuals. I hope my children will live to see the day their uncles are afforded the same rights as "traditional" couples. I hope that with all my heart.

Anonymous | 12:22 AM

Let me start with a disclaimer that this comment may or may not make sense - it's late at night and I only have so much room to work with!

I voted for Obama AND for Prop 8. While I believe that people have a right to choose whatever lifestyle they wish (not saying that homosexuality is a choice), I also believe that not all of those lifestyles are OK. I very strongly believe that this is a moral issue, but that ties in to the legal side of it. While I would never want to outlaw homosexuality, which is not a legal issue, I definitely voted for Prop 8, because marriage is a legal contract.

I realize from reading your blog, and from the comments above, that most (or all!) of you reading this disagree very strongly with me, but I wanted to put my view up here. This was not an issue of me "hating" anyone, but rather something based on my convictions. My cousin is gay, and I love him and his partner, but in no way do I approve of their relationship. I could never bring myself to support it by condoning a legal marriage between them, because I believe that there is more to this world than just how I feel about the people I know.

Anonymous | 3:43 AM


Fairly Odd Mother | 4:49 AM

As someone from MA, I feel the pain of everyone in CA who wanted Prop 8 to fail. Gay marriage has done NOTHING to our state except let two people who love each other marry. It hasn't screwed up property values, caused riots in the streets, ruined my children's minds. I dread the day we have a vote like yours b/c I'm not sure my little state will do the right thing.

I'm even more sickened by the ban in Arkansas against gay couples adopting, b/c I can think of some children who would never have known the love of a family if that ban came here.

Mirinda | 5:11 AM

I agree with Heathery. Smaller government, period. Steph, Jesus did come to love all...yet he hated sin and preached about turning away from it. Hating sin and not the person, loving the person but praying for repentance. This is how all Biblical sin is to be approached. I have family members and friends who are gay. I love each and every one of them yet do not agree with their lifestyle. Just as I do not agree with my brother being a raging alcoholic and crystal meth addict. Yet I love him and treat him as I do any other person: with kindness and respect. I don't have to support it. If you don't believe in God, support what you may. I'm accountable for myself only.

I am excited to witness a minority win the presidency in my lifetime. However, whether he's black or yellow with purple polka dots he represents principles that go against mine, and many others, core beliefs.

It's time for me to graciously step away as a reader of this blog. And believe me when I say change is going to come to this great nation- only it is not the type of change you'll want your family alive to experience.

May the Lord bless your precious family, Becky. Your beautiful children are most definitely a gift from God.

“You have said harsh things against me” says the Lord. Yet you ask ‘what have we said against you?’ You have said ‘it is futile to serve God. What did we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty? But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly the evildoers prosper, and even those who challenge God escape.”
Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name. “They will be mine”, says the Lord Almighty, in the day when I make up my treasured possession. I will spare them, just in comparison a man spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.
Malachi 3:13-18

Amy | 5:43 AM

I was glued to my TV Tuesday night, watching the results unfold and rejoicing over the hope and progress I was witnessing that historic night.

But I was also paying attention to Prop 8 out there in California, hoping that your good state would do the right thing. I was very dismayed to learn of the ban. It was a day of mixed emotions, to be sure.

Anonymous | 6:21 AM

I am so happy right now because of Obama and so sad at the same time for my Californian friends. Unfortunately I live in a conservative state which may never allow equal rights. I was proud of my state (Indiana) because with this election we became a blue state for the first time since 1964. It made me feel like real progress has been made and that my vote actually counted. Sadly all I have to do is look a little deeper to see that it is not yet quite enough.

Hopefully it won't take us much longer to reach a point of true change and progression. I think it will happen soon though. I feel hopeful because there is a wonderful man here to guide us through the next 4 (hopefully 8) years. I deeply believe in him and his vision and I can't wait for the change to start.



Anonymous | 7:30 AM

I agree. I am ashamed that Arizona passed a similar amendment. But, I do have hope.

Anonymous | 7:34 AM

The whole thing is so ridiculous. There's practically a genre of movies/tv episodes where characters find themselves "unintentionally" married after a night of drinking in Vegas or whatever, and yet when it comes to gay marriage, people are suddenly "outraged" that the "sanctity" of marriage is being questioned. Straight people don't do it all that well--why are we the only ones with dibs? It's insane.

The issue is far from settled.

Anonymous | 7:42 AM

Okay, a couple quick things now (not sayin' to hate, just to educate):

1) Thank you, Anon, for pointing out that the media, et. al. has labeled Obama the first "black" President. I often wonder if he himself is annoyed by that. If he's half-white too, what dictates the label? I don't get it.

2) I consider myself a liberal democrat, but I didn't vote for Obama for a number of reasons. (I didn't vote for anyone for President, in fact, because I just didn't lurve any of 'em.) But anyway, I shudder reading anything from anyone celebrating his appointment, but decrying the results of Prop 8. Do you know where he stands on gay marriage? Just a little hint:


He's kind of all over the place. Correct me if I'm wrong, but right next to his name there, it says "Opposes same-sex marriage." Yet he also opposed Prop 8. Does it really make a difference though?

And do you people who are talking about this issue as if it's a result of the religious "right" at least recognize that he, himself, is in fact a Christian?


Quoted in the Chicago Daily Tribune: "I'm a Christian. And so, although I try not to have my religious beliefs dominate or determine my political views on this issue, I do believe that tradition, and my religious beliefs say that marriage is something sanctified between a man and a woman."

Again, not hatin', just sayin'. READ UP, PEOPLE! If you feel so strongly about this issue, why don't you question his stance?

kittenpie | 7:57 AM

I was so sad to see that THREE states voted to ban gay marriages. I just don't understand this. Why does what your neighbour does in their relationship undermine yours somehow? If my neighbour cheats on his wife and I don't cheat and I don't approve, does that somehow make my union less? What if they are swingers or plushies or something and are married? Does that make marriage as an institution weaker? I think it just makes that couple different from me, and I may think plushies are a bit sketch, but it's their thing and doesn't concern me. (And gay couples, I think are odd, so but I say that because I know that some people do.)

But at the same time, I am so very happy and proud of you all down there for voting in Mr. Obama. Congrats for that.

zipbagofbones | 8:55 AM

It breaks my heart. I am ashamed of my homestate Arkansas for banning unmarried couples from adopting children or taking in foster children. I look forward to the day when everyone is truly equal under the laws of the country.


I'm always confused by the same thing when it comes to this NEW kind of Christianity I say "new" because over the years Christianity has strayed from its origins and has somehow gone from preaching love to hate and/or indifference -- To those of you who support prop 8 because of your religious beliefs: Do you honestly believe that Jesus wouldn't have wanted equal rights for all?

That was his MISSION STATEMENT!!!!

DGB | 11:55 AM

I will never understand people who in one breath say things like, "I have nothing against gay people" and "I think that everyone should have equal rights" but in the next say, "But I don't want them to get married."

Anonymous...I wish you would explain yourself more. Because marriage is a "legal contract" that causes us to say who can and can't get married? And please, tell me exactly how gays and lesbians getting married will change marriage for everyone else?

There is no other way to say it, it's discrimination. And by the way, it goes against our national constitution, the very ideals on which this country was founded that "All men are created equal".

Anonymous | 2:44 PM

Very well said. It truly is two steps forward while still stepping back. Prop 8's passing made me truly sad. Similar laws passed in other states as well, as well as banning same-sex couples from adopting. It breaks my heart.

Anonymous | 3:00 PM

I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that the same state that voted overwhelmingly for Obama, also voted to write discrimination into our state constitution based on fear and ignorance.

When I awoke yesterday I felt an rush of energy, remembering that history was made the night before. But then I checked on Prop 8 - 52 to 48% and my heart broke.

And now they say we must be graceful and accept "the voters" decision. This is the same thing I hope of everyone who voted for McCain over Obama, but I am not sure if I can.

Anonymous | 4:54 PM

Amy, that is why I did not vote for Obama either. ;) it was my hot button issue this election. When his answer was no different than McCain in the debate, he lost all credibility to me. For someone who has reaped the ultimate benefit of the civil rights movement, it disappoints me greatly that he himself has not recognized his own opinion as oppressive.

Anonymous | 8:35 PM

I felt these same feelings, thought these same thoughts, wrote this same post...only not anywhere near as well as you!

Anonymous | 9:27 PM

Amy, I have to say that I'm disappointed in Obama's gay marriage stance as well. But I don't think he is a hypocrite or trying to play both sides of the issue by not supporting gay marriage, while at the same time being against Prop 8. What I take it as is this (from what I have read and heard in his interviews): he isn't going to be in the White House fighting for gay marriage to be legalized, that isn't one of his issues that he is going to work on. However, he also doesn't believe in the government taking people's rights away that is why he was against Prop. 8. You should "read up" on it, so you can better understand. Also, I think that most of us who voted for Obama aren't single issue voters. There are most likely going to be a few things that we disagree with about a politician, but we look at the bigger picture to pick the best person for the job (I can't imagine agreeing 100% with any politician, with any one person for that matter). When looking at the big picture, there are SO many more things I agree on with Obama than things I agree on with McCain (and the things I agree with McCain on are also the things that Obama agrees with).

GGC, I totally agree - my extreme joy over Obama's win has been tempered by the passing of Prop H8. It's hard to understand why people want to take away the rights of others. If people don't agree or condone gay marriage, they don't need to have one, but they shouldn't push their beliefs on other people and their rights. I'm just hoping that ACLU wins the lawsuit and that Prop 8 is overturned.

Anonymous | 11:16 PM

Daddy Geek Boy - I mentioned the idea that marriage is a legal contract because I'm not willing to impose my morals on people until it becomes a legal issue. Marriage, whether gay or straight or anything else, is intrinsically a legal issue. I disagree with homosexuality at its core, but it's not a legal issue in and of itself nor do I think it should be. Marriage, however, is legal and that's where I have to draw the line. Those are my beliefs, and I completely understand that if you don't see anything wrong with homosexuality, you have NO reason to agree with me.

I have to say that gay marriage is an issue that I feel much less conviction about, because it's not something that really damages other people or anything. I think "straight marriage" is riddled with problems, too, but I wouldn't outlaw it completely. I do have some personal issues with gay/lesbian couples raising children, but not any more than I do with men (or women) who leave their children - "deadbeat dads" and such. I think that kids need one male and one female parent to be raised in the best way. However, one parent or two same-sex parents are usually much better than none at all or than abusive or neglecting parents.

I admit that yes, it is discrimination, but "discrimination" has such a bad connotation even when it isn't necessarily bad. If someone has "discriminating" taste, that's a good thing. We have to make distinctions between what we believe is right and wrong, or we're lost in chaos. That distinction is what I mean by "discrimination". And that underlying belief - that we have to distinguish between right and wrong - is a huge part of why I voted for Prop 8. I needed to stand for what I believe, and I do NOT believe homosexuality is right nor do I support it. I believe that voting no on Prop 8 would have been supporting homosexuality, and I can't do that and be true to my beliefs.

And Rebecca - I don't quite believe that Jesus would support equal rights for all, not in terms of this. He'd support justice, and the upholding of what's right, but not everything is right. We need to tolerate one another, for sure, and the church has done a pretty poor job of that most of the time. That doesn't mean we agree with everyone's beliefs, though. Christ's mission statement was that he came to save anyone who would come to him, not that everyone has equal rights to everything.

Sarah | 4:34 AM

It's fear. Fear of the unknown and un-experienced. I understand that. Some interpretations of religion make it harder to see things for what they are. It's a tradition that makes it almost impossible to see things differently... possibly intended for that very purpose. (Disclaimer: I'm the daughter of a pretty conservative Episcopal priest, and no longer see things the way he does!)

I believe that marriage equality will happen someday in the not-too-distant future. It will happen, because it's the right thing, and we are all evolving, as is evidenced by this election! Looking forward to the future... :)

No Mommy Brain | 6:05 AM

GGC - this was so beautifully written and articulated what i felt but could not make into words. what your mom said really struck me. while we may not get equality across the board right away, we are headed in the right direction. just imagine what we'll see in our lifetime! i only wish everyone who read your words could see what I saw. why people cling to hate and discrimination and call it "right" is beyond me. if jesus was here, he'd be pissed.

DGB | 7:57 AM

Kristen...You say, "I'm not willing to impose my morals on people until it becomes a legal issue." There have been people who felt the same way as you. They prevented women from voting, they stripped away rights from African Americans. They put Japanese into internment camps. We unfortunately have a history of creating laws around hate. This is a very similar issue.

I'm not asking you to accept homosexuality. But I wish you could realize that just because it goes against your ideologies, that you don't have the right to oppress them. None of us do.

Wendy Woolf | 11:24 AM

Yes Daddy Geek Boy. What you said. And Sarah, you are absolutely right. It's tragic how many people in this country are afraid. We as a nation have more reason to be fearless than any other and yet, we've been so brainwashed by fear... It's unbelievably sad.


That was me, above, by the way. I just accidentally commented under my mom's sign-in name. She's here visiting, today. :)

Amy | 5:22 PM

I suggest that the first openly gay President should also be the first woman President. May I suggest Rachel Maddow 2016?

Parker | 3:20 PM

Thank you for this beautifully written post.

Meemo | 3:57 AM

I get chills when I think of what is to come. I feel the electric charge of change in the air and it's so exciting. We do have a lot to overcome still, but we'll get there. Look at how far we've come.

My state of Arizona is far from approving gay marraige, which is so stupid. Why so many concern themselves with what others are doing in their bedrooms is beyond me and why do they care if someone wants to legally bind themselves to another human. That's what they're flighting, a legal binding of two people.
We will get there.