***Updated with Winner, below!!***
Without further ado, fronted by the lovely and rockstaresque, Heather: and featuring Alice, Daphne y yo tambien: Episode One, "I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics"...
*Please be kind. The camera just added ten pounds to the extra twenty I'm packing. Oy.
Wanna participate in the Momversation and be eligible for a prize? Tell me how YOU deal when your family disagrees with your politics. One commenter will be picked at random to win this kid-sized acoustic guitar c/o First Act's Discovery line for rock-n-roll kids!
GGC
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This month's (November) issue of Babytalk Magazine features an excerpt from Rockabye, entitled, "Coming Home." Strange reading it, now, with Fable in my arms. Two VERY different baby homecoming experiences. Oh, life... Check it, here!
*** Congratulations to kiwidebra! Please contact me to claim your fabulous prize!***
53 comments:
A TwitterMom just tweeted about Momversation.com a few minutes ago.
WOW, WOW, and WOW! What an original idea! And in 2008, no less!
I thoroughly enjoyed listening to your vid response to Heather's question/dilemma, and I totally want to meet your great aunt. She's sounds like a wicked groovy chic!
Anyhoo, my fam doesn't play well together when it comes to religion and politics.
I have a lot of "Sunday Christians" in my family (which is very amusing), and they have a tendency to flip-flop when it comes to what they believe. Hence, the praisin' of the Lord on one day vs. every day.
Whenever you're in their presence, you're best to keep your mouth shut and nod... a lot.
It's safer! ;)
Adonya Wong
Author | Autism Activist | Blogger
Hmmmm. Sounds great, but me thinks you could all use a political mom on that mix! ;)
Hoo boy this one hits home for me. I have a fantastic family - they are loving, fun, outgoing, entertaining in every way - but there's one thing. All are rabid Republicans, and they're the worst kind. They have no actual reasons or arguments for WHY they are right, they just ARE.
I've become somewhat of the black sheep. The vegetarian tree-hugging liberal pariah. And while I like to think that I can waft calmly above the fray – bite my tongue, move past it all – I’ve found that I cannot. When I’ve been confronted with their ridiculous elitist views, I find my pulse quickening, my temper rising, and tears pricking my eyes. I’m furthermore blessed to live in California, where the debate over gay marriage and Measure 8 has brought a whole new dynamic to family dinners.
Case in point: Just last night at dinner I had a cousin tell his somewhat-uninformed wife that if Measure 8 failed, and gay marriage was upheld, that they could be sued. In court. And that their church would also be sued. (Which is flipping RIDICULOUS and God only knows where he came up with that little gem.)
Ok, just let that sink in a moment because it’s STILL making my brain seep out of my ears. It’s outrageous, it’s bizarre, and it pissed me off. I was so upset that I couldn’t even get the words out. Here’s where I had to audibly remind myself of my personal rule.
When I’m at THEIR house, I will quietly disagree and let them spew their crazy without argument. But when they are at my house, I expect them to do the same. Its basic respect, and I have NO problem asking folks to leave my home if they can’t respect my opinions. You wanna disagree? No problem… but let’s keep it civilized. When I’m at their house I can easily remove myself from the situation or find something else to occupy me until the moment passes. There’s no way I’ll be changing anyone’s mind around here, and it’s the only way I’ve found to keep the peace.
Tomorrow can’t get here soon enough.
Oh, awesome! Yay! Super excited about Momversation. Tune in every Monday, Wednesday and Friday through January for new eps. And thanks for stopping by!
Re: my great aunt? The woman IS TRULY groovy. Lots of amazing stories about her including when where she skinny-dipped with Anais Nin on a "healing commune" the year before Nin passed away. I have a copy of a letter Nin wrote my aunt before she died framed in my living room, totally faded from the sun, but framed nonetheless.
Wow, Caroline! I have the utmost respect for you, sister. And yes, tomorrow. TOMORROW!
This is a subject that hits close to home for me, since we just visited the inlaws in Dc this weekend, and where else are you going to be 100% immersed with politics before an election but DC? (Though I do admit this time around it's everywhere)
I have a hard and fast rule, no talking politics in front of my girls, since people can't keep their emotions out of it. So to avoid breaking the family apart and having me wring the ultra conservative and admittly racist father in law's neck the MIL and I came up with the hard and fast rule, no politics, no business talk. Period. In the interest of family harmony no one was allowed t discuss it. SIL did tell me she voted early, I congratulated her and envied her the opportunity before changing the subject. And when all else failed, I switched the subject to an even more volatile one:
My new tattoo, and how my two year old now wants one, too!
Gah, so timely. My mother drives me nuts with her "political views." I quote that because it basically means she believes whatever misinformation has been fed to her to decide that she "doesn't like" someone. Not that she doesn't agree with their politics - oh no! She prefers to remain completely ignorant of the actual views of candidates.
And don't even get me started on her view of gay marriage. I finally told her "if you believe people 'choose' to be homosexual, then you must have wanted to have sex with women but 'chose' not to." That caused quite a bit of sputtering which I probably enjoyed waaayyyyy too much.
BTW - I think you look great and I'm not just sucking up for the guitar ;-).
That was awesome. Very funny and perfectly edited. Oh, and you look fantastic, of course!
This is the very reason I started my blog. I got so sick of disputing & fact checking the vicious emails my mom was being sent by her sister, step-father, friends. Our neighbor actually said they are glad my husband can't vote, because he supports Obama. (He's Canadian)
I will be sending them all an email tomorrow of our daughter & I waiting in line to vote, wearing the shirts I made for us. My shirt says. "I'm Voting for 'That One'" on the front & "…we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in America's story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea
- Yes. We. Can." on the back.
DD's says "It Is Your Vote, But It's My Future" on the front, with “And it means taking full responsibility for own lives - by demanding more from our fathers, and spending more time with our children, and reading to them, and teaching them that while they may face challenges and discrimination in their own lives, they must never succumb to despair or cynicism;
they must always believe that they can write their own destiny.” on the back. I might write some completely obnoxious message about how glad we are that Obama won, but that might be too much for them. I'll definetly post it on my blog, as DD had some pretty funny things to say in line.
Yay! Something new and exciting!!
When my parents and I disagree on something political (mostly myself and my dad), I have learned to just keep my mouth shut. We just end up getting in a huge fight. It's just not worth it to me! So, I keep it to myself. Plus, no one else votes for me but me!
We handle it the way we handle everything...WE FIGHT, WITH LOTS OF LOUD VOICES AND CURSE WORDS AND OMG WHERE DID I COME FROM BECAUSE I SURELY COULD NOT HAVE COME FROM YOU!!! comments. My mom who still insists she is a "democrat" has not voted for a democrat in 20 years. They keep telling me I'll get more conservative as I get older, yet I get more liberal. Make more money, you'll change. I have and I'm OK giving it away to people less fortunate than myself.
Do we avoid politics? No way! I dive right in and question every right wing talking point they throw at me. I'm starting to wonder if I am adopted.
I realized I posted without the part where I actually answer the question. Duh! Anyway, for years, I argued and fought to try to educate her with no luck. I finally realized it was just making me frustrated and accomplishing nothing.
Now I spend my time telling her that I heard her polling place had a 4 hour wait and she probably shouldn't even bother.
Kidding! But I am happy that she doesn't live in a swing state.
And I suppose I should be grateful that it continues to inspire me to research all of the candidates and the issues before I make a decision.
while i don't agree with your presidential pick (for fiscal reasons, not religious or social - i'm probably one of the few atheist republicans out there), i DID very much enjoy the momversation banter :-) ...look forward to hearing more!
My immediate family and I agree politically, but others (a nephew, in-laws, etc) don't.
With those who will listen, we'll have a conversation. With those I know won't listen, I usually avoid the topic. If they insist on bringing up outright lies, then I'll try to politely correct, but other than that, it's best not to discuss.
First, you look great! Second, it seems like the world of female bloggers needs someone not intent on bashing Republicans, which aside from your comments Becky, was what that video was.
Side note: I've come to realize I'm probably the only Southern-Republican-Christian who reads your blog. Ha!
I have no problem discussing politics with the majority of my friends and family. That's because we all live in the south and love Jesus, y'all! *sarcasm* I agree with you Becky that it makes you more passionate for what you do support when someone opposes it. I'm vibrating in my seat right now I'm so fired up and passionate about Obama not being elected :)I make it a point to argue the facts rather than bash a person or group, though.
Looking forward to other episodes of Momversation...preferrably where Heather doesn't end it so tacklessly!
To tell you the truth, I try to listen more than speak when there are major differences in philosophies. And sometimes I can't help but get sucked into an argument that has no hope of changing any opinions.
One of my best friends is an evangelical Christian. We don't talk about religion or politics. Period. It was difficult, at first, for sure. But really? I've learned that politics are no more real than reality TV.
I've even found this election to be EASY with respect to steering clear of heated debate with people I love who don't see what I see ... I just quietly hope my horse comes in first in this race and he shows the naysayers by deeds that he was the right choice all along. Hope. It's a powerful thing.
Wow, Toyfoto! Great comment. And you're absolutely right. Bashing one another never gets anyone anywhere, regardless of what side you're on. I was just speaking about this with my mother. Her best friend has both McCain and Yes on 8 signs in her yard. It's a testament to her (and your) ability to look beyond politics and love regardless. People are good, no matter their politics. I believe that.
This political 'season' my mother-in-law and step-father-in-law have quoted bill o'reilley to us one too many times in phone conversations, so I just sent them some pictures of their 2 adorable grandkiddos in their obama t-shirts giving peace signs. take that! Meg
My mom taught my 4 year old to chant McCain! McCain! to try and goad a reaction out of me. I told her that both candidates were good men but that mommy and daddy preferred Obama and that when she is 18 she can decide who she wants to vote for. She said she liked McCain because he had white hair. I said there were other things to think about when she is older. This morning on the way to preschool she said she'd been planning to vote for McCain but she has changed her mind and will vote for Obama. I told her she didn't need to like the candidate I liked and she said that she had decided she liked him better. I love my little swing voter. (I'll wait to rub my mom's nose in it after the election...)
my family and i mesh on politics, like yours. i do have a friend who send me all the crazy emails about obama. i just do a quick check on snopes and tell her like it is. we are still friends, even though we don't agree AT ALL.
Like mommymae, I do the snopes thing whenever I get a fanatical email. I hate those "send to everyone in my address book" emails anyway, but even more so when it's a blatant lie.
Anyway, with my family, it's a little harder. I am liberal (and Christian, go figure - we ARE out there!) and my family is very ultra-conservative McCain all the way. Normally, I would just let it lie and try to dodge the subject, but this election is just too important. And the issues are too important. I have had several conversations about why I support Obama and not prop 8 and all the other "crazy, liberal tree-hugging" ideas I have. And it's been refreshing to actually talk about it. To have these conversations instead of ignoring the elephant in the corner, so to speak.
Great addition to your repertoire - perfect topic for today and an entertaining conversation. This came up for me today with a best friend whose politics aren't quite 180 from mine, but close. Definitely looking forward to future eps.
And congrats on Fable!
Oh, shite.
Politics make me frustrated and angry, but not because my family disagrees with me.
I am a Christian (Gasp!)
I also think that God and politics are two different issues (Gasp!)
Jesus avoided politics, and told everyone to "Give Caesar what is Caesars". His followers wanted Him to be king, and the dude could not be bothered. Jesus was more about loving the unloved that running for politics, you know?
*Steps off of soap box*
I am excited about this whole deal. I wholly love and respect all of you who are a part of Momversations, and look forward to the next installment.
what a great clip! so nice to hear all that.
my sisters and i had an "interesting" conversation with my mom the other day about our presidential candidates. i am the oldest, but got the most flustered and practically hung up on her. my middle sister took over with more patience/grace. that's usually what happens. we take our turns.
We don't talk politics at our house with family....EVER. I don't talk about it at work either. I do talk about it with friends and my husband, but family...NEVER! Learned that lesson the hard way!
I come from a long line of democrats (happily so), while my husband comes from a VERY republican family. I got lucky with him though he came out of that with extremely liberal views. I find it infuriating trying to talk politics with my father-in-law. I find more often than not, he will get angry and attack rather than have a conversation.
At the end of the day though, I know this man would do anything for our family, and I would think it would be the same with most people.
Have an intelligent discussion, VOTE for yourself, and remember that at the end of the day family is family. unconditionally......
Luckily my family can usually have a civil conversation about politics. While we agree on many things there are things we disagree with. Sometimes the answer is we agree to disagree. Now some other relatives I just avoid completely because of the nonsense they spew.
Heather, later today, please call each of your family members and say "Nah nah na nah nah" and hang up. Please oh, please.
Yes we can.
I just ignore the big elephant in the room (literally). I try to keep my head down and let things roll off my back. But we're definitely a shout/door slam/never-coming-home-for-Xmas-again type family. There's definitely some email arguing going on ...
I wonder, when families start talking, if there is a difference between conversations that genuinely seek to share information and conversations where one side really tries to change the mind of the other. I've had respectful conversations with friends this election season who do not share my own opinions. In the back of my head, I chanted, "They don't HAVE to agree with me!" and things remained civil.
When either side disregards the opinions of the other, explosions are bound to happen. While I am voting for Obama today, I know that there are many legitimate reasons why someone else might choose to pull the lever for McCain.
I have no beef whatsoever with anyone holding well-reasoned, genuine opinions.
I look forward to more installments of Momversations. Very cool.
I always just try to make a joke when members of my family disagree with my politics. Humor keeps the arguments away.
Momversation...awesome!
When I disagree with family members or loved ones about politics, I try to very gently stick up for myself while using kindness and humor. I think this effectively gets the message across that you have your own opinions but don't hate the other person because they don't share them. But, honestly, arguments are sometimes unavoidable...you should be able to be yourself around your family. So they can just deal.
heh.
I am a democrat, my parents are democrats, my brother and brother-in-law are republicans and my sister considers herself independent. When my republican relatives start getting heated, I usually just say that they have no chance of changing my mind and acknowledge that I am not going to change theirs. It may be cowardly, but ever since the "Incident of 2004" that involved my brother-in-law and I engaged in a screaming match as my sister looked on in horror, I've decided it just needs to be off limits. But I do make comments every once in a while about the mess that "their president" has created.=
eff politics.
give me that guitar.
your makeup looks good.
and i love you.
yes the eyemakeup rocks! what's the shade/brand???
Yeah, we gots issues in our house. My anti-religion conservative husband in one corner, and my God-lovin' lefty self in the other. Sigh. DH is making some allowances for my beliefs, whereas I can't seem to make any for his. So I have no ideas on how to deal with THAT...
I can't really comment on American politics but I will say this - I'm glad that this year there has been such awareness, but I'm also kind of saddened by the Hollywood-ization of it all.
Case in point: 10% of my FB friends are wearing Obama t-shirts and declaring their Obama-love on their statuses, but I know for a fact that at least half of them didn't vote in our Canadian election less than a month ago!! Grrrrrrrr.
Ha! Thanks! I use pretty much only MAC cosmetics. Been a loyal MAC wearer since the cold war. Eyeshadows are: Honeylust (gold-ish) and Showstopper (dark matte brown) in the creases and as liner. Gold shadows with browns are pretty much all I wear on my eyes... contrast, contrast, contrast with shadows. Especially when you have lighter eyes. And of course, MAC's the best because of the 6 container recycling = one free program. And they don't test on animals.
And Jen? That would drive me CRAZY. Annoying indeed.
My family agrees on politics, but not with my great aunts. We just keep filling up their glasses with white zinfindel and hope that they stop talking about Palin/McCain and keep drinking. When they try to question our beliefs, we simply change the subject.
It's not worth arguing with them about it. And I. Am. Tired.
Obama '08!
Loved the video! Can't wait for more.
In my family, my husband + I share the same political brain. Which is good, because I am frequently unable to come up with more than a few actual facts to back up my arguments, as I can get emotional around my family. They're all somewhat conservative + much more religious than I am... I'm definitely the black sheep, which can make it feel isolating to discuss politics.
I have no problem bringing up the election with my mom, and have actually helped educate her on many points (with my husband's help - heh). But my dad is a(n Episcopal) priest + no longer reads my blog due to my "far-left leaning politics and bashing of the Christian Faith" - huh? So forget about politics - I can hardly talk to him about the weather! My husband's family, on the other hand, while straight-up Republicans, can actually JOKE about politics, which is so flippin' amazing! I love them.
yeah, politics...my husband doesn't even vote yet he comes home with all these great tidbits of misinformation that his friends have given him. i tell him he should watch a debate. half of a debate. one question and response even, before he makes a judgement. someone told him McCain is going to lower taxes and Obama is going to raise them so if he was voting he'd vote for McCain. really? how much do we make again? if we are making over 250,000 please let me know!!! so how do i handle his ignorant rantings????
i stay calm, let him speak and then counter with a question that only a well informed citizen can answer. when he can't answer it i just nod and say "riiiight..." He hates it but it makes me feel good.
oh and you and heather could be sisters with your little pointy noses!!
I love the vlog! Amazing!
My family is nuts when it comes to politics. I blog about them until they get pissed off and go away. :)
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com
Misterpie and I totally disagree about politics, so we largely avoid getting too deep into it, but we talk a bit about who we are voting for and why we are making that choice individually. We just try very hard to keep it respectful and not go at it and take it personally.
if that little spot doesn't get you a MAC endorsement by the end of the week, they need to have their marketing heads checked.
now seriously, gimme that guitar.
(AND WELCOME PRESIDENT OBAMA!!)
He did it!!!! WAHOOO!!! (just had to get that in there...)
I have one brother (of 4 of us) that thinks Rush Limbaugh is his BFF. Otherwise the rest of us can talk about it. After MANY altercations, we just don't bring it up with THAT brother. Otherwise scenes like what Heather described will happen.
I play it cool, play it neutral, and enjoy the heck out of watching them SQUIRM. I state my opinions in the most matter-of-fact way. They retort with something that makes no sense, and I smile and raise my eyebrows. I never bother to explain myself because they don't WANT to understand. They see that their opinions don't affect me (and that I am clearly laughing at them), and they lose all ability to even make a coherent sentence while I stare at them like they have 3 heads. I know I am the black sheep. It's not a role I chose, but it is one I can get into and enjoy, and I may as well enjoy it because it's not going to change no matter what I do.
Rachele
ladyofnomads@hotmail.com
my dad is uber-conservative, my mom is on the fence, and the rest of my family would adopt john mccain if they could. i am pretty much the odd woman out in my family being a very liberal democrat.
when i was younger i used to fight them and argue until my grandfather (bless his soul) would slam the dinner table against the wall and pick up his plate and eat alone in his bedroom. it was his only thing he could do that wouldn't require bodily harm on me. he has a short fuse and grew up in different time. if he was still alive today i cannot even IMAGINE what he would say about barack obama.
nowadays i just play it cool, shrug it off, and joke around. my dad and i debate a lot but it's usually in good fun. i know that i cannot sway him and he knows that he cannot sway me, so we don't get too heated. we are both confident in our different beliefs and deep down we both just want whats best for America.
I'm not entirely sure how I deal -- I think I'm under the influence of some sort of GOP-Jedi mind trick. I've been happily married to a Rebublican for four years. It feels dirty and wrong to say it out loud, but he's kind of *cool* for a Republican. (!!!!)
We disagree on a lot, but it somehow works because we respect each other, read as much as we can, try to debate without letting it get out of hand, and know how to compromise. And if the arguing ever does get out of hand, post-debate makeup sex is pretty cool, too. :)
My in-laws are a completely different story. There is no mutual respect, they only read subjective Republican propaganda, and they cannot talk about issues without the situation escalating. They don't compromise...and alas, there is no makeup sex. Cause that's just gross. I often end up tongue-tied, tense and furious. I'd have already seriously considered physical assault if a few of them if they weren't packin'!
Oh how interesting and fun! If you guys ever need another voice :) or a fill in, I'm so available!
In my family, we are split very much down the middle between liberal and seriously conservative. Our way of handling this is to avoid the subject completely. It has occasionally made it's way into the conversation anyhow and has ended in everyone leaving the room...LOUDLY.
Thank God my husband and I are of the same mind when it comes to politics...we both voted for Obama, both are liberal, both are open to being better informed, which I love about him...that he agrees with me :)
Uh, that guitar is so cool.
The way I deal with political differences is to bring them up as often as possible. We agree on most world issues, but when I came out 17 years ago, my parents turned radical right. So every time I spoke to them I said things like, "As a lesbian, I think I'll have the egg salad." Or "Lesbians are so like that, we all look alike."
This strategy broke them down. After 17 years, my mom is a gay-rights advocate.
Andrea
Love the video.
If politics comes up in our family conversation, we usually wind up changing the subject. My dad holds his views pretty close to his chest - probably because they are wildly different from my outspoken stepmother's thoughts.
My family has never agreed with my political views. When I was 18, I registered as an Independent and that just set them off. I listen to them spout off what they need to spout off and then I smile and show them what I know. They gave up long ago trying to get this stubborn girl to change her mind politically.
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