A Birth Story in Three Acts (Three)

...For act #1 and #2 go here and here.
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The lights were bright in the OR and all I kept thinking was, "I'm going to leave this room with babies. The outside-of-my-body kind." I also kept thinking, "I never took a stool softener like I was told to do, I AM FUCKED," and also, holy shit. This is actually happening.

And it was. Shower cap secured haphazardly to my head, I climbed up on the operating table and parted my hospital gown for the RN.

The anesthesiologist looked like Mr. Miyagi and kept asking me if "this was my first baby."

"Third and fourth, actually," I said.

But he was so focused on making sure my spine was straight he didn't hear me and asked again. I told him I was having twins and that they were both girls and he asked me to lean to the right, told me I was favoring one side more than the other. That I needed to relax."

"You too tense. Must breathe."

So I breathed.

"Girl or boy?"

"Seriously? Oy."

I had assumed a spinal was the same thing as an epidural so when the amnesialogist anesthesiologist asked if I'd ever had "one of these before," I said yes.

But an epidural and a spinal for a C-section are completely different. The needle went in rather painlessly but the feeling of paralysis was not my friend. I panicked. And if that wasn't bad enough I started dry-heaving. In all those youtube C-section videos I watched, not one depicted a panic-stricken, pukazoid with an extreme case of the shakes.

And yet all forty-zillion people in the room kept telling me, "what you are going through is normal! Totally normal!"

They pulled the curtain up on my normal-person-puking-self. Mr. Miyagi put his hand on my shoulder. "Relax."

OBGYN Kenobi was reassuring as well. So many Zen masters in the room that by the time they pulled the curtain up and started cutting me open, I was able to heed their advice and chill.

Babies. Think of your babies.

Hal was filming the whole procedure which excited me because I figured, once I recovered from the whole panicky-shaky-pukes and had my babies in my arms, I'd want in on the action. Except, later, when I watched the footage, I saw that 99% of it was of the same blue sheet I sat staring at for twelve minutes. That and Hal's quaky voice reassuring me that all was kosh.

As hard as childbirth is on the women giving birth, I'm convinced it's just as difficult for the partners who love us. Because all they can do is pack three pairs of jeans, clutch their shaky video cameras and tell us, without knowing if it's true, that everything's going to be okay.

"I'm cutting through the fat!" OBGYN Kenobs told me.

I wanted to know what was happening but strangely, "cutting through fat" did not put me at ease.

"And now I'm cutting through muscle!"

I was surprised to hear I actually had abdominal muscles to cut through. Flattered even.

"... And now I'm opening up your uterus!"

"Okay, THAT'S ENOUGH! I'm good. No more want to know me what happening is."

Except...

"I can see Baby A!" And then...

WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The first scream. It was Boheme and she was LOUD. I strained to see her but could not. The doctor brought her over for a second before taking her away to pull out Reverie. Everything happened at warp speed. I puked and cried and cried and puked as they pinned bracelets to my wrists. I listened to the duet of screaming babies and the two dozen attendants buzzing and laughing and cleaning and beeping except all I could see was the fucking blue sheet.
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I was told earlier in the morning that no matter what, the babies would be whisked off to the NICU. It was standard procedure for all babies born before 36 weeks but for whatever reason, I wasn't listening. I assumed if the babies were big enough, they'd call the whole "standard procedure" thing off and let them stay with me a while. Or at the very least, a few minutes.

They brought the babies to me one by one. Rubbed Boheme's nose against mine and then took her away. Rubbed Reverie's nose against mine and then took her, too. Hal went with the babies as the doctor sewed me up. I was empty and alone, paralyzed from the neck down, puking all over my neck and go figure, very sad. I was prepared for a different birth experience this time around but not for the detachment I felt in that moment.

I was promised that as soon as the doctors finished surgery, I'd be able to see them but when we arrived to the NICU, Rev was incubated and both babies were covered with wires and monitors.
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The nurses wrapped them up and handed them to me.
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I wasn't allowed to see them for the rest of the day. I cried, somehow found a way to continue puking and slowly felt less paralyzed. I spent the next four days going back and forth between my hospital room and then the following two weeks driving back and forth between home and the NICU, pretending like I was still pregnant, that these extra weeks were gestational, that the real birth would be bringing them home.
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No matter how many times I cursed those drives downtown to Good Samaritan hospital, over bumpy roads with a pillow pressed to my belly, back and forth and forth and back in the passenger seat of my mom's Prius, it was the NICU room with its monitors blasting and white robes where I first held my babies. It was where I first fed them and changed them and loved them. It was where we first became six. (It was also where I experienced the wrath of C-section constipation which ended with the now infamous "broken toilet" incident which was the opposite of fabulous.)

I was sick that I couldn't be with them in the hours after their birth and sicker yet that I couldn't take them home with me when I was discharged from the hospital and yet, their two-week stay in the NICU wasn't the worst thing that could happen. I met some incredible women. The nursing staff at Good Sam became fast friends and confidantes. I was able to rest and heal, to prepare emotionally and physically for the task of all-nighters and the loneliness that comes during those intermissions, between feedings and wake-ups, when somehow everything is unexpectedly quiet even though life is suddenly screamingly loud.

By the time Boheme was released, I was able to drive myself to the hospital and when I went to fetch the car to pick her up at the front entrance, the NICU nurses were all there to see us off. It was completely unnecessary and exceptionally kind and I found myself sobbing hysterically like a crazy person all the way home.

When Fable was born I was struck by an overwhelming sense that we weren't "all here yet." That there was someone(s) else waiting in the wings. When I found out, at eight-weeks that I was carrying twins, it became abundantly clear why.
ten weeks
ten weeks
twelve weeks
twelve weeks
14 weeks
fourteen weeks
16 weeks
sixteen weeks
eighteen weeks
eighteen weeks
twenty weeks pregnant
twenty weeks
twenty-two weeks
twenty-two weeks
twenty-four weeks
twenty-four weeks
twenty-six weeks
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twenty-eight
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thirty-two
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thirty three
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thirty four
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thirty-five weeks
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thirty-eight weeks three-weeks old

All along, this was it. This was us. This is our team. All members present and accounted for.

As the nurse so astutely proclaimed in the following birth video, let chaos reign...


...And indeed it is reigning. In a wonderfully-badass totally-insane wouldn't-change-anything kind of way.

GGC

155 comments:

Mary | 3:26 AM

Man. Weeping here in Oz. Those were the loveliest nose rubs ever - like you were breathing in those babies with all your drugged to the neck might.

And the delighted laughter of your husband.

What a wonderful way to end this day.

annabelvita | 3:32 AM

I can't wait to watch the video when I finish work later. Go team! You're the six biggest badasses I've ever "met" on the internet. Woop woop!

Meemo | 3:32 AM

Long time lurker here coming out of the woodwork to say that I love your little family. Or should I say BIG family. Thanks for sharing all that you have. It was fun coming along on your adventure.
Your girls are beautiful! You're all beautiful. And no, I have not been drinking but I am very sleep deprived.

Jenny | 3:58 AM

I was doing fine, giving you "woo hoos" until the nose rubs. Then I welled up. It really brought back that moment from my 2 c-sections. Well, OK, the first one anyway; the 2nd one I was unconscious, so I didn't get a nose rub, but never mind that....

I was so emotional watching your video. What a special moment, regardless of the puking and the 25 extra people in the room. No matter how they are born, it is so special.

Congratulations again on your lovely girls and your gorgeous family.

Alice | 4:03 AM

What a weeper. What an amazing family you have! As someone who has just embarked on baby journey number two (destination: freakout), thank you so much for sharing. xxx

Mikaela | 4:15 AM

Holy shit that was awesome sauce. I'm due on Friday (with one), can't wait!

Anabelle | 4:42 AM

Rebecca, what a beautiful beautiful story and video!
Just the opposite of my delivery, since we were only three (me, my man and the midwife), then four (my baby boy) in the hospital room when I gave birth. Wow, yours was crowded and animated! Mine was quiet and the light was almost down. Both deliveries, yours and mine, are amazing though and I am so happy for you guys that it went well.

Enjoy your kids and your sleepless nights- I know what it is :)

Sheila | 4:51 AM

Such a beatiful video...thank you for sharing with us. Please pass the kleenex.

Lauren | 5:05 AM

Um, wow. Way to make me cry. Like, need to get a tissue and wipe my eyes cry. Never usually happens when I am reading my blogs! But what a beautiful story. Reminds me of my c-sec minus the NICU stay. Glad you have all your babies home now :)

Margaret | 5:07 AM

I can't tell you how much that had me crying. And SO excited to meet my baby girl in December! You are so blessed!

Mami Dearest | 5:13 AM

Beautiful video, pics, stories and family. Thanks for sharing with us all! =)

CSB | 5:18 AM

So wonderful! Sweet, poignant, funny as hell, beautiful people, too!

My baby and I watched together and my eyes filled with happy tears when the girls were brought to you. The moments are such a testament of your pregnancy and bond with those girls.

Awesome. Hal is awesome too. Thanks for sharing!

Abi | 5:24 AM

Oh man! I didn't even cry when I gave birth 3 weeks ago (I was too busy screaming!). And here I am bawling while watching your video. Of course it doesn't help that I haven't slept properly since about month 7 of pregnancy.

We will sleep again, right?

Erin | 5:29 AM

Oh wow! What a great post...maybe my favorite. I loved the way you wrapped everything up. And that video? BEAUTIFUL!! Had me in tears this morning!

Congrats on two beautiful new girls and congrats on a very lovely family!

oh, jenny mae | 5:42 AM

too much. all the chaos in the room takes me back. I remember the feeling of being so alone when surround be so many all too well. I kept myself occupied by talking to my ob & asking to check out my placentas. weird. totally, but it kept my mind off of being so far away from my girls. you rocked it, mama.

Bria | 5:49 AM

Oh man...I'm totally crying. Such a beautiful moment. Thank you so much for sharing the birth of your darling (gorgeous) girls with us.

c is for cape town | 5:55 AM

Snotting all over myself in Cape Town!
C-sections are SO weird, this brought back memories of both my (emergency) ones.
You're doing so well, Hal is so fab, your babies are so beautiful!

Tatiana | 6:01 AM

crying. at 9am. thanks.

lol

congratulations again!
xoxo'
Tatiana in NJ

Kacy | 6:08 AM

What a beautful video, love how Hal is just kind of (nervously) laughing thru the whole thing....super sweet:)

Kalen - Kentucky Cupcake | 6:12 AM

Welp the damn nose rubs about did me in, thanks a lot. haha. *dies*

Strongmomma | 6:15 AM

Oh gosh..I cried and cried and cried at the end...

I have 4 and I am way done. This video doesn't help though ;)))).

Flight Attendant Extraordinaire | 6:23 AM

Oh man, I'm sitting here in a hotel room in Washington DC just bawling my eyes out! I just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing your pregnancy with all of us. I've been reading your blog since Fable was born and I love your honesty & candor when it comes to your family. Take care of yourself and those babies!

jennigrows | 6:28 AM

Geez that is the sweetest thing EVER. I didn't think I would ever feel like crying from someone else's baby video. Cute, cute, cute!

Meg @sleepynewmommy | 6:32 AM

Oh I just did a whole lot of ugly, snotty crying. That was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

I think I'm going to go make another baby now.

Anonymous | 6:37 AM

Sigh. I was going to wait another 6 months to have my second, but after this video it seems I need to fire the goalie. Beautiful description and video of what was an incredibly emotional experience for you. How brave of you to go through it - and to share. Bravo!

Stacey | 6:39 AM

Divine!

wearerandalls.com | 6:44 AM

Wow. Awesome story that I found incredibly honest and relatable. Only on number 2 myself, but certainly wouldn't mind growing the fam to six. I'll be living vicariously until then. Good Luck!

pamela | 6:44 AM

wow...I should know by now that watching birth videos at work is a no no...big ol' tears streaming down my face! Been there, done that and both times wished, hoped, planned and tried for a different birth but in the end, those babies are precious and healthy and that really is the best outcome. congrats on your beautiful family!

J from Ireland | 7:00 AM

Oh I am sobbing here at my kitchen table in Ireland. Congratulations, so beautiful.

Sara Laverty | 7:06 AM

Oh my. I'm sobbing. What a beautiful journey this has been...you and your family are just gorgeous.

Sonya --Dime Store Thrift | 7:09 AM

Geeeez....just applied my makeup and now need to TOTALLY wash my face and start over. So much love!!!! Sonya

mlouprice | 7:19 AM

Thank you for sharing your pregnancy with us. I have enjoyed reading your updates. The girls are so beautiful. I have about eight weeks left until I meet my son. I can't wait/am completely terrified.

Nicole | 7:35 AM

Bummer, I can´t see the video because of some music copyright bs.
Delurking to congratulate. The girls are amazingly beautiful!
And can I say that they both look like their names were absolutely meant for them alone? Like you couldn´t swap them, it just wouldn´t fit.
Did you always know, that Baby A would be B and Baby B would be R or did you decide after looking at them?

kristofer and ivy | 7:38 AM
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Tanna | 7:39 AM

Completely wonderful! Congrats!

kristofer and ivy | 7:39 AM

Aaand...now I'm crying.

Thanks much for sharing the video and letting us all share your family's new baby-ness!! I can barely keep up with the three littles I have, but reading/watching your stories makes something in me want MORE BABIES. Stat.

We learned our #3 was on the way in the midst of our "should we or shouldn't we?" debate. And YES. Had no idea how much we needed our sweet #3 until we had her in our arms.

Mazel tov, a thousand times.

.ivy

vertigob | 7:40 AM

Gorgeous. All of you.

whoorl | 7:46 AM

Oh, Hal's happy laughter during the video just slays me. Beautiful family...love you guys!!

Angie | 7:51 AM

Sheesh. Sobbing at work. Thank you so much for sharing all of it. Beauty.

Elliesee | 7:57 AM

Thank you for the tears of joy! Hal's laugh is the best. The girls' cries are even better - you can tell they are ok. Love to you all!

Betsy King | 8:09 AM

TEARS!!! Oh my goodness. Love your birth story! As a c section mama of two, I know that story all too well (didn't see my first until the next day!) But oh my goodness they are here and just so precious.

Thank you for sharing your story!!! Every birth(s) is beautiful!!!!!

Stop making me baby crazy!!!!

Teresa | 8:18 AM

Weeping here too. Thank you for sharing your birth story with us. I've been reading since Fable was a wee one and always enjoy reading about your family (and even had preggo dreams last year about Hal checking his teeth. LOL). You all are awesome and I wish you the best with the new babes.

Steph(anie) | 8:21 AM

Crying here too.

leah | 8:24 AM

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful video, and story (yes even the dry heaving and constipation).

t. | 8:41 AM

So many tears and so many blessings for you and your family.

Those nose rubs and Hal's laughter just about killed me.

Lucky X 6.

Dari | 8:51 AM

I love this so much! You made me cry. The video brought back so many memories... my babies are 3 and 9 months now. I remember after baby Owen was "cut out of me" as I call it ha ha, they took him away so quickly and sadly he had some breathing issues so I didn't get to hold him for at least 8 hrs or so, overnight. I think the pain meds and God helped me get through it without being a hysterical. It is so hard to not be able to have your babies and then sit and snuggle them.

Also the stool softner... aahh, even with it I had issues. I didn't know you could get hemorrhoids after having a baby by c section. Boy was I wrong, I can relate to the "broken toilet" all too well.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful experience with us!!

Anonymous | 9:05 AM

I totally puked during my 2nd c-section (after the baby was already delivered). I'm not sure what the exact cause was. I felt like the surgeon was shoving his hands inside and shaking my internal organs violently. And then I barfed. It was gross, but what can you do? Your babies are beautiful. Congrats!

Bekka Ross Russell | 9:06 AM

Oh Rebecca! Making me tear up, and I'm NOT a crying over birth videos kinda gal! The music is perfect, the girls are beyond perfect, your family is gorgeous.

I wouldn't normally ask this, but your love for your babes is so obviously and totally clear shining through in this video and everything you do - and all I could think about is the kids I work with in this little orphanage in Tanzania. They're beautiful and amazing and have nothing. Would you consider tweeting out a link to us, or something? We're in the last push to get three of our kids into school - unless we can raise about $1600 more before December, they can't go. We're trying to get some donations for toys for them for Christmas - because they don't have a lot of sunshine in their lives, they don't have any of their own belongings. They do have love, because we love them hopelessly and insanely and with a fiery burning passion, but they don't have mothers, and nothing brings home to me how much that means like watching you with yours.

For what it's worth. We're at www.thesmallthings.org. Peace (and sleep) to you and your beautiful family.

Katie of Cabbage Ranch | 9:06 AM

It's always amazing how we all somehow manage to get through the crazy, chaotic scariness of the birth/recovery/NICU scene. Thank you for sharing your story. Your babies are beautiful!

Casey | 9:06 AM

I immediately started crying when Hal said, "You did it Momma." So awesome!

Amber, theambershow | 9:09 AM

Hal has the most delightful happy laugh :)

Annie | 9:14 AM

That was beautiful...tears.... I will never forget that video, brings back so many memories of my little guy's birth.

Welcome to the village, R&B! :)

Heather | 9:32 AM

I'm sure it's been said...Hal's giggling is so fucking adorable!
You are adorable and your babies are too, all four of them! Congratulations!!

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian | 9:43 AM

I honestly have no idea how you do it, but when you talk about your children I cry. Each and every time. And I am SO not a baby person.

They're so beautiful, congrats to your completed family of 6!

Dani | 10:03 AM

I cried so incredibly hard at that post. In a happy, totally excited for you and only a tiny bit jealous at what you have kinda way.

The moments when you kiss each one for the first time... most beautiful and touching thing I've ever seen. How wonderful to have those first touches forever on film (or HDD whatevs lol)

avb | 10:25 AM

The giggling, the laughter, the light, the calm. Everything so happy and bright. What a way to enter the world. xo

jillian | 10:38 AM

What a beautiful (realistic) birth story. Congratulations on your gorgeous family.

Amanda at the red table | 10:38 AM

So exciting. What a lovely little family; thanks for taking us all along for the ride!

Is it just me, or does one babe look like Archer and the other like Fable?

Cas | 10:44 AM

"When Fable was born I was struck by an overwhelming sense that we weren't "all here yet." That there was someone(s) else waiting in the wings" I felt that...I still feel that...I just know we will have a 3rd we were meant to be a family of 5...My first pregnancy was twins and we lost one at 13 weeks...I had dreams before I ever got pregnant that first time...of us as a family...there were two boys and 1 little girl. I have my two boys now...but I know without a doubt I have one waiting...and I cannot wait till we are all here together and complete. Till I can sigh and have them all big and small gathered around me.....even knowing it will be more choatic than it already is...we cant wait...So to the next little choatic monster...Mommy and Daddy are waiting...we are ready when you are love.

Anonymous | 10:53 AM

I started my day with tears of joy for you! Thank you for sharing and I wish much happiness for you and your beautiful family.

Jen | 11:12 AM

Ah, what a beautiful way to capture the beginning. And I love, love the Nina Simone version of "Here Comes the Sun" -- you couldn't have picked a better song :)

Emily | 11:21 AM

I didn't expect to have to choke back a little sob when I watched that! Thanks for sharing the birth of your two newest tots. They are beautiful.

kaysie | 11:22 AM

That video is perfection. As a mom of two (3 and 1) who thought, never again, I have to say this post makes me reconsider. Beautiful! First time poster by the way. Enjoy these crazy first weeks, months, years...

Ana | 11:23 AM

Oh my gosh. Sobbing. This was so awesome. Thank you for sharing. Many blessings to you and your amazing crew!

Robyn....but call me Rob | 11:42 AM

Wow! That was beautiful. XO

Theresa | 11:44 AM

Shit. I cried while reading/watching all 3 parts. Absolutely beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing! Good luck with #5 ;-)

Sara | 11:47 AM

I'm pretty sure my uterus just spit out the damn Mirena and demanded another baby.

That was beautiful and now my mascara is streaked on my cheeks. Congratulations, y'all. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Anonymous | 11:49 AM

Perfection xo

Molly | 11:53 AM

So beautiful.

Katie | 12:14 PM

Is anybody else crying hysterically right now? I am in love with all 6 of you. Archer and Fable owned my hearts before, but you all are just so lovely. <3 Hal, you are a wonderful man and father and husband. Rebecca, I have so much respect for you. You are a beautiful and brilliant woman. We may not always agree on everything, but the way you love and nurture your children individually and collectively is absolutely astounding. You are an incredible inspiration and I strive to emulate your unconditional and individualized love and support in my own way with my own two children. Let love (and chaos) reign. Love you guys.

Glenda | 12:17 PM

OMG! thanks for sharing. You can hear Hal's excitement.

Tears in my eyes and goosebumps as I watched the video. True Love!

You guys are all beautiful! x6
xo

Roxanna (Miguelina) | 12:35 PM

You made me cry. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing your family with us!

Krista | 12:35 PM

So lovely. Thank you so much for being so incredibly generous to share your family's story in this way!

verdemama | 12:38 PM

Officially crying over here. Even with shaky filming and abundant footage of nurses' feet and blue hospital blankets -- what a gorgeous video. And I love Hal's nervous, joyful giggling throughout. I hope all is well in your little corner of Hollywood.

Anonymous | 12:40 PM

crying!!!!
so im wondering....did Hal ever check out the actual carnage taking place or did he just stay focused on your face? i dont know why but i wanted to know if he peeked or not. and if he did, did he tell u what he saw? describe it to you? im know in know, im weird.

Anonymous | 12:42 PM

also wondering, do we get to hear the story of how their names came to be soon? pretty please? :)

French Cannes Cannes | 12:42 PM

and I'm crying - amazing post - amazing babies :-)

Carra Nicholes | 12:51 PM

Such a beautiful post and family. Had me in tears the whole time. Congratulations on completing your awesome team!

Gabrielle | 12:55 PM

Thank you for taking me on your wonderful ride. I have been reading since Archer was one. Whenever I freak out and wonder if this whole having kids thing was such a good idea, you remind me that life really can't can't get much better. Mazel Tov!

flyrish | 1:02 PM

Also teary-eyed from the nose rubs and looking down at my baby girl (2 days older than your girls) in her sling and feeling so grateful. Even though it's freakin' hard up in here with baby #2, you remind me that I can do this!

Beautiful birth story and I can't wait to get to know Bo & Rev even more.

Althea | 1:29 PM

BAWLING. You are the baddest of asses.

phheasler | 1:34 PM

Beautiful! Started reading your blog after my doctor thought I may be having twins, but just one for me. I am in tears after watching the delivery video! Congrats!

wonderchris | 1:46 PM

So beautiful!! Love your nose rubs and sweet kisses. That is one amazing family!

Blessed With a Boy | 2:08 PM

Oh my, I should have waited until I got home to watch this. I hope no one comes by my desk. I'm crying like they are part of my family.

My heart hurts all over again for you for not getting hold them right after they were born then not being able to bring them home right away.

So so happy for all of you.

Jackie

kateypie35 | 2:10 PM

Ok, this made me tear up. And almost made me want another baby. ALMOST, but not quite. CONGRATULATIONS!

Lindsay | 2:10 PM

I had a c-section for my first pregnancy..not by choice of course, but I never dialated and my precious baby never dropped. My experience was very similar to yours! Immediately after my whole body went numb, I started dry heaving and puking everywhere! It ws the scariest 30 minutes of my life...but out came by 9lb 5oz little girl!! NO wonder she did not drop! She was a 2 month old! lol Love the birth video I cried the entire time! What a fucking amazing experience! =)

Goth, Hippie, Baby | 2:16 PM

How beautiful! I love how excited Hal is and promptly says "time for number 5"!

Whitney | 2:20 PM

I LOVED this! It brought tear to my eyes and reminded me of when my 10 week old twin boys were born. The OR had so many people, but at the same time it felt like such an intimate amazing experience when I finally got to see my two. You two are full of so much love, those babies are so lucky to be born into your family.

I am sure you are in a sleep deprived stupor right now and I totally understand, my two still eat every 3 hours like clock work. I am sure it is amazing having your mom around to help, I know my mom has been such a blessing to us. Even though my twins are about as un-twinny as they come there still is an amazing bond between the two and I just love watching them interact. Congratulations on your family of 6!!! Thank you so much for sharing your birth story!

The Shopping Mama | 2:21 PM

LOVE. Absolutely beautiful.

Elizabeth | 2:39 PM

"You did it babe, you did it! You're amazing."
... and cue sobs from a complete stranger in Wichita, KS. What a beautiful story. I've been pining away for this final installment and it did NOT disappoint. Thank you for all that you share.

Christina | 2:41 PM

So many happy tears watching this. So beautiful! Many congratulations to you and your family. I hope you are doing well. Much love.

Stephanie Z | 4:50 PM

You probably won't read this far down, I have been reading your blog since Fable was born. I am so happy for you and Hal. I am an identical twin and she and I have the most amazing realationship. Mozel Tov to you all!

My Bottle's Up! | 5:18 PM

WEEPING for you, my friend. so crazy beautiful.

KaliLove | 5:19 PM

I was a pukey shaky c-section mess also. And they told me the same thing "totally normal" I spent my entire c-section apologizing to my dr for puking on her shoes.

Congrats on your babies, and good luck with the healing. c-sections are a bitch and a half.

Ellie D | 7:06 PM

The video makes me feel like I'm watching a movie come to a close! If you understand what I mean. But the movie isn't coming to a close and I can't wait to see Rev, Bo, Fable, and Archer all grow up together.

Sarah | 7:30 PM

Delurking to say that I have always been terrified of c-sections, but I think I'm cured after that video. It made me cry with the sweetness of it all, despite all the surgical lights and masks and sheets... birth is still so magical. Your husband's happy laughter, and the way the nurses brought the babies up to your face so you guys could smell each other and enjoy that primal bonding moment. So amazing. Congratulations times a hundred to you and your family!

Erin | 8:04 PM

love it

MOMSICLE VIBE | 8:08 PM

Another mama down over here. Tears flowing. Hal's giggles were such a great expression of crazy awesomeness of all that. Way to go woman, you rocked that - dry heaves and all. We are facing some odds and have been trying for # 2 for a long time. This renewed some hope. I hope your family's next season finds you living sleepfully ever after :) Enjoy each other.

jessicapea | 8:28 PM

Beautiful - tears here, only worse with reading the comments, bout back memories for me of my section. Thank you for sharing :')

Lauren Knight | 8:31 PM

Agh! Crying like a basketcase over here. Beautiful! You are beautiful.

Thank you for sharing.

Nicole | 9:49 PM

Oh my am I crying after that video. You did it!

Bianca | 11:09 PM

Been lurking here for ages, but just had to write a comment. That was beautiful, I am honestly crying right now. The video was beautiful <3

Jeni Angel | 11:16 PM

I am not the kind of a girl that cries at these sorts of things, but there are currently tears on my face that won't stop.

Thank you for always being so honest. It's refreshing. I am so happy for you and you're family!

Molly R. Stern | 11:21 PM

AMAZING!!!!! Just the most beautiful gift. Thank you so much for sharing your experience with the world. This universe is a better place because of you and the gorgeous family you have birthed and are raising. You are a leader on the path for women to see all that is possible, beauty, humor, strength, honesty, triumph.
I hope you can hear me and all the rest of your adoring fans chanting your name...p.s. I puked my guts out both times I had c-sections. THE WORST. Your descriptions of the emotions that follow the drunkenness of birth, drug, spirit and love induced,hit the nail on the head. LOVE LOVE AND MORE LOVE. Way to go lady...and Hal rules too!
REBECCA...REBECCA...REBECCA...REBECCA... cut and paste, cut and paste....

Jessica | 12:07 AM

Also weeping here. Thanks so much for sharing. Those nose nuzzles brought me right back to when I first saw my girls who were both 5 pounds 12 ounces. You are phenomenal. You have handled all of it with such grace and humor. I am really in awe of you. Having been through the newborn months with twins, and again with a singleton, I can honestly say, I am so jealous! I LOVED the insane first 4 months. No sleep, but every waking moment basking in the glow of our family and watching them come to life- each her own and both together. I am so happy you get to experience it too. Congratulations again and best best wishes.

Biberologio | 2:07 AM

congratulations amazing family!
After you had decided on the names of the twins, how did you decide which one would be which?

Sachi | 5:14 AM

Thanks for sharing! Wonderful. :)

Carla | 6:28 AM

Thank goodness I held off watching this until my family went back to Toronto after visiting for Canadian Thanksgiving. Otherwise, they would have found a very pregnant me bawling her eyes out.
This was so incredibly beautiful and touching....and somehow, for me, very reassuring as mom-to-be for the first time. Watching you travel your journey has made me feel so much more at ease about mine.
And, it was so Hal-arious when he said "Time for number 5." As a labour and delivery nurse, I have seen many a man given the look of death by his partner for saying that immediately after delivery.
You are a beautiful person with a beautiful family and I feel so lucky to get to read about all of it. Thank you!!

No Drama Mama | 6:48 AM

Every post makes me laugh and cry! And, wow, what a picture of your baby girl looking at you! I've never seen such an alert newborn. Congratulations on your beautiful family additions.

Adventures In Babywearing | 7:21 AM

Bawling!

Steph

Sarah | 7:58 AM

That last picture of you with your babies - gorgeous!
This line "I was prepared for a different birth experience this time around but not for the detachment I felt in that moment" made me sob outloud .. must have been soooo hard for you :(.
Glad you are all doing ok!!!!

Katherine | 8:05 AM

Oh my goodness I haven't cried like this in a while. Actually sobbing it's so beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Congratulations again and over and over again. Don't know what else to say! BEAUTIFUL!

VT Meg | 8:13 AM

Totally in tears (with my 6-week-old snoozing on my chest in the Ergo). My first was a C-section (terrible!! I feel for you; it was one of the worst experiences of my life) but we soldier on and, hey, get a baby out of it! Which in the end makes it totally worth it. Bonding happens, you get to fall in love, and it's magic. The sort of disappointing (to me anyhow with my C) birth story becomes the wonderful story it is because of the happy ending. Congratulations a million times over! (and I found that even with my second, a long and beautiful natural birth, that I didn't fall in love right away either. Birth is so overwhelming; it takes a few days and deepens over weeks. The NICU is far from the worst place to go through that experience. So glad you got the rest!! HUGS to you all.

Abilew-who | 8:45 AM

OhmyGodI'mcryingatwork. That was so beautiful it almost makes me want to do it again! No it doesn't. Yes it does! No it doesn't... Well, maybe? Anywaysss - that was super moving. Your babydaddy is really dreamy all "you did it," and his overwhelmed, sweet papa laugh. I am...tears. You DID do it - and what a beautiful family. Rocked it!

lisafoose | 8:58 AM

Thank you for sharing - I was crying along with you remembering the day my twins were born. And the tears really started rolling when they brought each twin to you. So sweet. And amazing. Congratulations again!

Anonymous | 9:22 AM

Pregnant women who've just reluctantly dropped their daughter off to daycare so they can go to work after a lovely long weekend with said daughter should NOT watch this video. Warning: weepy at desk in Vancouver, BC! Those nose rubs!

Christina @busybmommy | 10:56 AM

Astounded. Weeping. HeartoverflowingohgodIneverknewloveuntilIknewmychildren and this totally brought the memories flooding forth. You. Those babies. Your beautiful family. May love and light bless you all of your days. And may chaos reign always. Because that's what makes it fun.

Anonymous | 12:06 PM

I have one baby and you make me want four!! congratulations!!

melanie | 12:26 PM

Oh, that made me cry! Your delivery doctor is my doctor as well, and he delivered both of my girls. I think I love him more than you're supposed to love an obgyn - he's so wonderful. :) But CONGRATULATIONS. What a beautiful family!

Punk Rock Mom | 12:52 PM

Thank you for sharing! Loved the video

Noelle | 1:08 PM

I teared up watching the video, reminded me of my csection. Well, except I had one baby :) the sisters are so cute, what a great birth story they share.

Charlotte | 1:17 PM

You can sense Hal's giddiness throughout the whole vid--so awesome! And yeah, "a panic-stricken, pukazoid with an extreme case of the shakes," that was me, too, when Little Miss Kickboxer was born. Shit like that is, sadly, on the more normal side of a c-section, only nobody tells you that beforehand (small print stuff, apparently). What a lovely family you all are--those girls are so lucky to grow up with so much love and happiness.

ACG | 1:44 PM

Amazing! How anyone could watch this with a dry eye is beyond me. Thanks for sharing, Rebecca. You and Hal might be responsible for a new crop of babes in the next year....this video is kryptonite for birth control. xoxo

JK | 2:28 PM

Oh yes, puking and the shakes-I had that w/my c-section too so I definitely sympathize. My husband was so stressed with how shaky I was. I violently shook for about 2 hours afterwards. I can totally sympathize!

On another note, again, congratulations! Such beautiful little girls and I love how different they are!!

Roksalanna | 4:14 PM

I totally understand that sense you talk about Rebecca of not everybody being there yet before Bo and Rev arrived. It's something I've felt myself in my own situation.
Your children have the most beautiful names I have ever heard!
xo

Claire | 5:02 PM

"When Fable was born I was struck by an overwhelming sense that we weren't "all here yet." That there was someone(s) else waiting in the wings."
That is exactly how I feel right now. Sadly, we will not be able to have any more children because my husband starts chemo in a few months. I will be living my baby dreams through you, Rebecca.
B & R are beautiful. Congratulations again to your beautiful family. Thank you to you and Hal for sharing your journey to six with us!

Elysha | 5:48 PM

Oh my goodness. I just cried my eyes out watching this video. Beautiful.

Kris | 6:05 PM

Awwww, your family is so beautiful! I'm not even remotely religious; but you're so blessed, Bec.

Much, much, much love to you & yours...

(Also, I had the shaking/puking/detachment with my c-section, too. Whelp. I know you don't need preachiness or assvice from anyone, especially me, but if you're still having trouble with some lows, please ask for help. I never did, and it's the single biggest regret of my entire life.)

Erin | 6:30 PM

I shook violently as well during my 2nd C. Then I continued to shake for another 2 hours afterwards- it was awful!! It's amazing though how quickly that memory fades and gets replaced with the only moments that matter like nose rubs.

katsalem | 7:45 PM

Incredible family, incredible writing, incredible you!

yvette | 8:24 PM

BAWLING my eyes out at that video. Absolutely beautiful. And I love Hal's delight laugh. I am 36 wks pregnant with my first and know I'll be a MESS when he is born!

The Beckster | 9:03 PM

I'm just going to say 'ditto' to everything, especially the crying while watching!! That was a beautiful birth video.

The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful | 9:43 PM

Wow. Looking at the progression of pregnancy pics fills me, yet again, with awe of what a woman's body can do. No wonder men are so frightened of us. We are powerful. Congratulations intrepid one.

Ray | 11:18 PM

Oh, my. I didn't even start the clip, and just the sight of you rubbing noses with one of the girls made me emotional. Such a beautiful birth video. Thank you so much for sharing.

And I know someone else wrote it here, but when Hal said: "You did it Momma...?" That made me teary-eyed. It's making me teary-eyed now!!!!

Congratulations to you all again!!!!!! I cannot believe the girls are already 3 weeks! THREE WEEKS?! Man! =D

alissa | 12:32 AM

i am so emotional (apparently. tonight at least) i totallly cried during this. congratulations :]

Lies | 2:04 AM

This morning I peed on a stick and found out I'm pregnant with my second. And now, only a few hours later, I'm reading your complete birth story. And crying, CRYING! I'm so happy for you and so happy for me and so grateful that I could follow your complete pregnancy from the other side of the world, and now that that chapter is over for you and a new one begins, It's my turn again. Thanks, Bec, for sharing, for letting us in!

Anonymous | 5:40 AM

How did you know which one was going to be named which? Did you have them identified by position and the doctors knew which one was first? Or did you say whoever was out first would be Boheme, second would be Reverie?

Mrs.T | 6:40 AM

beautiful, beautiful, just beautiful

Maryeah | 7:32 AM

Wow, wonderful. The NICU is agonizing, isn't it? My son was there for 62 long days. I'm glad you got those nose rubs - I know they were horribly short, but I had to be knocked out and missed that, and it's horrible.

I'm so happy you all are home and well.

Kirdy | 7:37 AM

I know you don't know me, or know my baby, but watching that brought me back into my delivery room and made me cry like a baby! I think you are incredible, and I'm so happy to see all the photos thus far of R&B and your family!

Very Bloggy Beth | 8:19 AM

After my epidural, I felt all shaky and pukey too, so much so that I couldn't hold my son for a while, and he wasn't even whisked off to the NICU! He was right there in the room, and I was too shaky to hold him. They kept telling me too how "normal" it was, and I said, "I don't care if EVERY mom goes through this, it fucking sucks!" And the nurse's face just went blank and she said, "Well, I can't argue with that logic."

Janice | 9:32 AM

Thank you for sharing! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the video. I guess the whole vomiting thing should be talked about more....to warn moms. There's just so much info that some of it gets saved for when it's actually happening.
Best wishes for happy sleeping!
Hugs!

Becca | 11:00 AM

I don't even know you, but here I sit wiping away tears...the sweetest birth video ever. Many congrats and best wishes to your family of six!

Sammy | 8:01 AM

OMG. How sweet is Hal? I was bawling when he was telling you you did it! Amazing. Beautiful story and beautiful family!

molly | 8:14 AM

Girl, I am totally crying now. What a complete blessing your whole family is. Amazing what new life does to us.

Good to hear you felt the overwhelming sense that you weren't done after your second baby. I feel that too. I so do. But my husband isn't sure if he feels it.

So yeah, that's our issue.

Allison Zapata | 4:20 PM

I looked exactly like that with my c-sections. BOTH. Dry Heaving, panic, shaking.

CONGRATS!!!!

xoxo

Anonymous | 6:25 PM

Thank you for sharing. Absolutely beautiful.

Kacey Haffner-Bruce | 7:09 PM

OBGYN Kenobi love it!!
I aso had a traumatic experience like this.. and now I share my stories with others so that when it happens to them.. its not traumatic..

case in point.. nerves and stress = claw hands!! yes.. claw hands!! and when the nurse went to hand me my baby and I didnt have hands to grab her and she said "its ok.. I dont think your a bad mom for not wanting to hold her" I almost slapped her in the face with my claw hand ;)

Karlee | 9:20 AM

Wow! I am 17 weeks + 3days pregnant with identical twin girls. I absolutely love reading your blog and haven't been on in a while, had to get caught up on the birth of your twins. Congratulations! So adorable. It was so great for me to read your birth story and see the videos. I am so anxious and nervous about how the rest of the pregnancy is going to go and wondering when will they come? I also loved see your belly progression.

Just wanted to say thanks for your amazing blog and I look forward to seeing your big family grow up :)

Shay | 10:16 AM

So sweet. I teared up.

Anonymous | 8:09 PM

Beautiful :) So happy for you all!

As the mom to an 18 year old son and 14 year old twin girls I salute you! The first years are very tiring but it just keeps on getting better and better. You'll see :)

So glad you had the help of your Mom in the beginning. Give her a big hug for all of us mothers who were lucky enough to have the help of those dear to us in those early days :)

Wendy | 8:53 PM

So beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

Kimberly | 8:52 PM

Beautiful Names and wonderful photos! Makes me miss those full tummy days! Congratulations!

Anonymous | 9:41 AM

My tears started when Dad said, "You did it Mom. Hear them crying?" :')

Anonymous | 7:29 PM

Wow came across this blog/video as I sit here 35 weeks Thursday with twins... I was sobbing watching that, thanks for sharing so beautiful! These are my first babies and I'm getting super nervous about delivery!