My dogs have suddenly become fat. They're relatively active so it isn't that. They eat healthy, organic dogfood so it isn't that either. Hmmmmm, I wonder what it could be. OH RIGHT! It's because Archer throws his breakfast, lunch and dinner to the dogs whenever I turn my head. He even calls for them "Cooooooper. Zaaaaaaaadie.... I HAVE EGGY FOR YOU!" except it sounds more like "EhEh. Eh, Ehhhhhh. Ooooooh. Dit" and then the dogs come a running. He sneaks them scraps under the table and sometimes, too lazy to be sneaky, throws mini-sandwiches in their salivating faces.
Cooper, my boxer is 100 pounds to begin with so it's not like this extra weight is showing so much but my Boston? Ha! She has become pig-like. A waddling fatty-pants who can barely keep the pace on a walk.
A son who throws food and laughs? Two dogs that gobble up all the floor-casualties? My family's falling apart.
So I have decided to put the doogs on a diet. No more dog food. I know. It sounds cruel but it seems that 5 meals a day for a dog isn't healthy eating and although I love to spoil my babes, I have to be straight with them.
"My dear dogs. You have an eating problem." I sat down with them over (my) lunch and discussed the alternatives.
"You can either A. Eat your own food and leave Archer to clean up his own mess (heh). or you can B. Eat all of Archer's scraps and skip your breakfast and dinner."
Of course the dogs preferred to eat eggs, chicken breast and string cheese over dry dogfood so I'm testing the dog-diet waters and seeing of my little experiment will work.
Zades has about 650 lbs she needs to drop by Bikini season (next summer) and Cooper could lose that spare tire. (His six pack is NOT what it used to be.) See the difference in Zadie's physique?
I went on the google rampage to see if personal trainers exist for dogs in Los Angeles because I figured dog-trainers exist so why not dog-fitness-trainers? I mean, every other block boasts a pet psychic so wouldn't it make sense for there to be an L.A. Fitness for dogs? We have Doggy Daycare, Doggy Hotels (complete with 24 hour Animal Planet rocking TV's and Massage... But no Doggy Treadmills. No Dog Paddle pools. Wait! They do have Hydrotherapy. Does that count?) and even something called a "Poop Butler." (In the OC, no less.) but no "dog gyms."
DUDES! Not that I would actually SEND my dogs to the freaking gym! I'm not THAT insane but it made me wonder-- with so many new parents fluttering about the Americas and beyond, parents with once pampered pets, how many of us/you are struggling with the same PET-ISSUES? How many of our once fit/healthy pets have become a little on the chunky side?
With Archer's meals going to the dogs time and time again, not to mention the lack of attention the dogs get these days compared to the pre-baby "good ol' days." Could this over-eating have to do with depression? Oh God! They're depressed and overweight and it's all my fault. Send in the Animal Cops. I so deserve it.