Gone... 2011

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Last year I spent the last month rotating some of my favorite posts of the year. And by "favorites" I meant, "favorites to write." I meant to do the same thing this year but instead committed to a squillion contests/giveaways and an extended family of sponsored material which left little room for nostalgic ramblings outside the weekly photo post and a few scattered words about sleeplessness. That's December round these here parts and I'm lucky enough to make a great portion of my yearly earnings the last few weeks of the year, leaving little time for sorting through yesterday's posts and composing tomorrow's. Until, of course, today. When I sat down to post some of the highs and lows of the past twelve months, a year which has been, in a word: momumental. (Sorry, that was lame. But true. Lame but true.)

On New Years Eve, 2010 I wrote about slowing down:

...We tend to focus our attention on how fast things accelerate because all drivers have a need for speed. Zero to thirty. Zero to fifty. Zero to one hundred miles per hour without slowing down. In the past, de-acceleration has felt to me like failure when really, it's the speed at which we slow down that showcases our ability to drive. 2011 = break and roll down the window. So much to see beyond the glass...

2011 was supposed to be the year of reflection and stilling the mind, Alan Watts style. A zen year of exploring the internal. The year of om. Of pausing to exhale. Pausing to inhale. Pausing to exhale, serenity now. Except that didn't happen...

What happened instead: On Hal and my sixth wedding anniversary, we spent the night in a hotel...
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...I got pregnant. Found out I was carrying twins. Panicked. Stopped panicking. Watched my belly grow. Went to New York on our first family vacation. Watched my belly grow more. And more. And more. Archer turned six. I turned thirty. Fable started school.
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...We bought a minivan. I obsessed over the nursery. Shopped for the nursery. Finished the nursery. My belly kept growing. And growing.
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...Until it broke open and Boheme and Reverie were pulled out into the world. And then we were six.
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...Two weeks later they came home. On that same day we were told we'd have to move. Hal changed jobs. We celebrated Bo and Revi's first three months, cross-dressed on Halloween, played with dollhouses, counted our blessings, cursed each other, made up, marveled at our children as siblings, adored each other.
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In that time I wrote about graying hair, forgoing college and the controversies of compliments. I wrote about discussing death, Osama Bin Laden and why I think it's important for kids to share bedrooms. I wrote about changes occurring overnight and magic hours that occur some evenings, bad haircuts and snails.
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I posted weekly updates on my pregnancy, and then daily updates on Bo and Revi's NICU stay, wrote about the names we considered and the names we chose, posted a thousand photographs because I couldn't help myself, sped so fast that everything blurred...
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Bo & Rev, one month
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Boheme & Reverie, three months
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... all while my mother cooked. And cooked. And helped with babies and cooked.
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If what I wrote last NYE is indeed true, that slowing down is what showcases our ability to drive, then I'm nowhere near assessing my prowess behind the wheel. What I do know is that I managed to make it through 2011 without crashing, thanks to the love and support of family, friends and all of you.

"Everything is temporary" has been 2011's mantra. And without fail, everything has been. The morning sickness went away. The fear subsided. The pressure disappeared, came back, went away again. First smiles appeared and with them, the storage of newborn pajamas. Days ended. Weeks began. Hal and I fought and made up. I was pregnant and then I wasn't. I worried and then I didn't. I couldn't sleep and then I could. I didn't sleep and then I did. Everything was temporary. For better, for worse: temporary.
view of my girls: twenty-three weeks
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It's been a tremendous year full of magic and wonder and insanity and life, of great love and laughter, tears, fucking up and bucking up and learning to open up to life's unexpected gifts. Thank you all for reading, for letting me share, for being my peeps. Looking forward to 2012 and all the crazy wonderful yet to come.
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With love and gratitude,

Bec

51 comments:

chesapeake | 8:24 AM

Fable's SHOES! omg. Do those come in big sizes?

Much love to you and your family, Bec! I so enjoy reading your words.

-Jessica

sara. no h. | 8:26 AM

Thanks for sharing your 2011 with us. I really like that three times a week (over the last 3 years) I can settle in and read lovely stories about someone else's crazy/fun/busy life. It reminds of how challenges come and go, but how lucky we constantly are. Have a great 2012!

Molly | 8:28 AM

Awesome post.

Arnebya | 8:31 AM

It sounds so cheesy b/c I get so, well, cheesy this time of year, but I believe in all my heart 2012 is going to be the year that shows the others how it's done.

Thank you for being so transparent, for sharing the ups and downs, fears and beliefs, fails and triumphs. For actually SAYING you fight w/your husband...but it is what it is and works itself out. It's a fact of life. None of us is perfect.

I wish nothing but love, prosperity, peace, and family enjoyment for you in the coming year(s).

Barbie // Fringe and Feathers | 8:43 AM

Cheers to your lovely family, your honesty, temporary hardships, and life's unexpected gifts.

Patty | 8:49 AM

This was a beautiful post. Loved reading it and remembering that whole year I spent peeking into your lives.
Happy New Year

Lacey Jane | 8:53 AM

*sob*

Maternal Mirth | 8:58 AM

Love, love and more love! Thanks AGAIN, Bec. You have been a very inspirational person to me in 2011 (and 2012). <3

Heather @ Levavi Spatulas | 8:59 AM

Happy New Year! You have a gorgeous family and beautiful outlook on life. Thanks for sharing with us.

Loukia | 9:00 AM

Loved this - thank YOU for being awesome. :)
Happy New Year!

Dawn | 9:06 AM

Happy New Year--thank you for always sharing your family.

That pic of Revi, outside in the sweater and headband--AWESOMENESS.

May 2012 bring you continued joy, happiness and a great Steve.

Radiantsun | 9:14 AM

awww I have been reading your blog since fable was little and I think you are just the bees knees. Thank you for sharing your awesome family with us!

17 beats. | 9:16 AM

wow, this post brought tears to my eyes. our baby girl turns 8 weeks old on New Years Day, and we are so full of joy and gratitude.

i somehow discovered your blog in january, and my sojourn through pregnancy/getting married/turning 30/moving/CHANGE IN GENERAL was certainly made easier as a result.

so, thank you. :-)

Glenda | 9:25 AM

Thank you for sharing your beautiful family x6 with all of us.

I love your writing style... tears and smiles while I read. The ups and downs. Life is a rollercoaster but it's our choice to "scream" or "enjoy the ride". We might do both :) and it is temporary and we get through it!

We are "perfectly imperfect"

Much love, health and happiness for the New Year 2012
xo

AndreaB | 9:25 AM

It may not have been the year of zen/slowing down, but you definitely enjoyed the year. These posts show how you found the joy and fun in a surprising year, even when you were exhausted, scared, overwhelmed, etc.

You cherished the time, captured the tender moments, and had fun (my favorite line of yours this year: "because this is the party that loves you back."

Fun trumps zen. Bravo Bec.

Daphne | 9:39 AM

what a year! congrats. re: Fables shoes. I bought those for Viv but took them back after a week, the glitter fell off. The sales lady said, "well, they aren't made for playing." Um, does a 6 year old do, work at a desk? xo

NDeZao | 9:42 AM

Thank you so much for the gift you give all of us readers. Thank you for allowing us into your home, your life, and your heart. Thank you for your honesty, your wit, and your tranparency. Thank you for sharing everything you share with us - it means more than you probably could know.

KAFS | 10:34 AM

Love you and your family! Cheers to a wonderful New Year!

Sara | 11:05 AM

I'm going to blame the fact that i started crying while reading this on pregnancy. But i probably would have at least teared up even if i wasn't knocked up. Happy New Year

Lena | 11:11 AM

I found your blog sometime around the beginning of your last pregnancy. I love reading your posts, your honesty and zest for life shine through every word. Your family is incredibly beautiful and alot of that is your doing. I love your outlook on life - I am 30, no kids yet, we are in different stages and yet I relate to everything you say. Thank you. Wishing you a wild ride and some peacefulness in 2012!

Brown Paper & String | 12:17 PM

Dear Bec,
Reading your posts always remind me that family is the most precious thing in the world and worth fighting hard for. We are about to bring our second precious child into the world, such a privilege. Take care and keep up the awesome work momma!
Jo

Bea, OT | 12:53 PM

Yes. For better or worse, everything is temporary. Thanks for sharing.

Amber and Scott | 1:14 PM

LOVE to all of you -- you are wonder woman surrounded by an all-star cast of characters :D

Polly | 1:39 PM

xo times infinity. you inspire. mega major.

Amanda | 4:42 PM

Happy New Year to you and your amazing family, Rebecca. I adore your blog - you are so positive and amazing - a real light in this crazy world of blogs and the internet. Much love to all of you.

Ida Mae | 5:09 PM

Man.. what a year! Glad you made it through! (and that I did too!)
Much love for you, your family and your writing :)
ox

bbgHappY1 | 6:04 PM

You are a fabulous woman, mother and writer. I love and enjoy reading your posts. I seriously look forward, after the family is fed, the dishes clean and my youngest is in bed, to sitting down and read your blog.

I wish you and your family a Blessed, Healthy, Fabulous and Prosperous New Year!

To many more blessings and posts to come!

- Sabina

Jeannine | 7:36 PM

Great post, Bec!
You've been a huge inspiration for me over the last few years as I've read your blog and simultaneously wished for your gift with words and fallen in love with your family. The last week I've been going over all of your pregnancy posts again because I found out that I'm about 5 weeks along. My boyfriend and I are both 23 and, well, shocked to say the least! So especially as 2011 comes to an end, thank you for providing me with some sanity and the reminder to just breathe and take everything in when the feelings of being overwhelmed start to take over.
Best wishes for you & your family for the next year. 2012 will be amazing, no matter what it brings <3 Much love!
-Jeannine

AlishaLoren | 10:40 PM

You are fabulous. You give us the courage to be the Mum's we are, to see similarities and differences and to feel understood and to know someone else is out there who feels the same.

Thank you for your year of posts, I've only come to the blog this year and am looking forward to reading for as long as you continue to write.

Happy New Years to you and your lovely family.

Meg | 10:43 PM

Oh my gosh, I have ONE three-month-old, and ONE (almost) three-year-old, and what I needed to hear is that everything is temporary (omg, the barfing; the whining). It's happy and sad, no?

Anonymous | 5:50 AM

Thank you for sharing your stories with us. You are a wonderful writer and I dare say a good mom. May the new year be good to you and your family, wishing you all the happiness and all the best,
Tanja

viktorija | 11:20 AM

Dear Rebecca,
thank you for all your great posts in 2011, for the naked truth..I love your straight-out style. You are a great person/mom and you guys are totally rocking. Although I never met you I totally love your family! May 2012 bring you a wonderful new home, LOVE, health, prosperity, luck and tons of great moments,
kisses from Europe

caroline | 1:53 PM

Omg are you living my life? I had my twins this year and it was everything you just said. It's gone by in a flash and what got me through the fights, sleepless nights, doubts, and suffering was ...the thought that it was temporary. Now things are better, slowing down and I survived! Lol just found your blog and I love it! Can't wait to see what thus year brings us!

Life's a Potty | 2:32 PM

I share much of the same sentiment. Have of a look at my blog as I sure enjoy you and yours! (and I happen to live in your home town.
:)

domestiCate | 7:11 PM

Thanks for being so honest. Your family is lovely in so many ways. You are an inspiration!

Amba @ Team Mummy | 2:53 AM

I just found you via babble and have to say you write an amazing blog! I loved reading the girls birth story. Thankyou for sharing. Cant wait to read more. Sounds like 2011 was amazing, happy new year!
:)

Isabelle | 4:26 AM

See we told you you would rise to the challenge and my you did us proud,thanks for all these great posts what an amazing journey !Bonne Annee 2012 which I m sure will bring you the next thing on the list your own home sweet home!

Katie | 4:39 AM

You've had an extraordinary year and I wish you another extraordinary year! Your family is amazing in its strength and love and you will pull through no matter what life throws at you. Thank you, as always, for sharing and for being such an inspiration!!

blu | 5:04 PM

love your blog. thank you for all that you post...i too have 4 (Ranon 6, Selah 5, Sophia 5, and Judah 2) anything that allows me to keep my sanity just a bit longer is always necessary :) blessings to you and your crew this new year!

rebecca robinson | 2:02 AM

hi bec
have loved reading your blog. my twins are 20 months now and its been helpful and comforting reading your stories. i am wrting over at strewthmama.blogspot.com.au if you want some insight into my world of now 3 under 5. its been a roller coaster but yes, we have survived! just. i think. lol
look forward to reading your adventures as im sure life just keeps getting busier...

beck ;o)

a serious girl | 2:35 PM

You just made me cry and then hug my laptop.

I love Girl's Gone Child. Thank you for sharing everything you share. May 2012 be the happiest year yet.

xox

Baby By The Sea | 8:38 PM

So, so loved reading this. Wow, super fabulous my dear. Happy New Year. Glad I came over here tonight for this post. xoxo

pamela | 8:42 PM

You were the first blog I read in 2008. Ever. And you're still my favorite. I love the way you write about life and I'm so happy you've chosen to share it with us! Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family.

Kate from zmombie.com | 4:41 AM

That was beautiful. Happy NewYear. Keep it up, momma!

Jamie | 10:25 AM

Now that was a year. Love the champagne pic at the end. I unfortunately, have started to favor champagne every night instead of glass of wine. That's what joining a group of young moms to run with in the morning has brought into my life. Here's to another blessed year.

thebabywife | 11:45 AM

With a year like that under your belt, 2012 will surely be a breeze.

You have a beautiful family xxx

Renata Palombo | 11:19 AM

I lorde tour blog. Renata
www.descobrindoamaternagem.blogspot.com

Renata Palombo | 11:19 AM

I lorde tour blog. Renata
www.descobrindoamaternagem.blogspot.com

Asha Dornfest {Parent Hacks} | 12:08 AM

Fucking up and bucking up. This post was magic, and those are the words I'll remember. Thanks for sharing so much of your family and your unique take on this wild world.

Shannon | 2:37 PM

You are surely the bestest of all blogging mama's.
You without fail make me laugh with every post.

Happy New Year to you ad your gorgeous family :)

Dailyn | 5:23 PM

I am so happy I found your blog. Reading your entries throughout the pregnancy has helped me embrace my own twin pregnancy and I often come back to read more. We are in a similar situation to your family - already have a 5 year old son and an almost 3 year old daughter and now twin boys on the way so we often wonder "how the fuck are we going to do this?" I guess we will find a way and take it day by day. :)

Happy New Year to all of you!